The problem is, I find most men to be so disgusting that I would rather not exhibit most of the qualities of the "jerks". I am a loner for the most part, as are most of the men that I have respected. As I wrote in another thread, my vision of a "real man" is somewhat different than that of most. Thankfully I have found a few women that share the same vision. I am even married to one of them, and have been for more than 30 years.
Then I suspect you exhibit those qualities (confidence, stability, etc) that the "nice guys" lack while still being a decent man.
I reject the notion that a person has to be a jerk in order to exhibit confidence, stability, and the like while being decent. TRUE confidence does not require being a jerk, or even an Alpha male. Likewise with stability, honor, industriousness, loyalty, and any other number of good traits. I have known several men in my circles who are able to exhibit these traits quietly without being obnoxious bores.
If the nice guys would get a clue, they would realize that most divorces are filed by the wife. Then, they would find that most of the time, the husband was abusive, addicted, or adulterous. Rather, it is just even though "he's so good to me" that "something was missing".
Funny, in my more than 30 years of Church work (and hearing the conversations of my pastor father before that), I find that your first two sentences are correct. All this proves is that most men are poorly behaved when it comes to marriage. While I have known, personally, men who were cheated on and who had wives that went "crazy", the VAST majority of the men that I know who had their wives file against them had it coming. In fact, the statistic that I have read is that in 75% of divorces, cheating by the man was a factor, vs 25% for women. This is right around what I have seen. So, I do not see the logic of your "Rather" statement as they are the minority of divorces. Your first two statements are, however accurate by my experience.
The best and most public modern example is "Eat, Pray, Love". The first few chapters can be read on Google Books for free, and we learn it is a story of a woman who is married to a perfectly nice man, but then she goes cuckoo for no apparent reason.
Yes, I base everything that I know on books I read on Google. My life experiences count for nothing. Of course, having spent most of my life West of the Appalachians and East of the Rockies, I probably have a different outlook on life than coastal people.