I need to apologize for getting sucked up in to this senseless melee.
There are some days where it doesn't take much to set folks off....and apparently today was that day for me.
I don't know why I found it necessary to defend myself in this thread....but, being accused (yes, go back and read it) of being almost in my 50's and kind of bitter for not having found someone to rescue me from every woman's apparently lonely and miserable existence without a man...that can only be fixed by getting a cat, and then another...and then another....kind of was the last straw. ....and no, I am not projecting my own interpretation on the words....they were clearly meant for me.
Funny thing is that I read the OP story on the Web and posted the link...thinking it was kind of funny that a Catholic clergyman is advising women to lower their standards. It just sounded off to me....as growing up a Christian girl, I was always taught to have HIGH standards and not get all wobbly in the knees when some handsome man paid me a bit of attention.
Well, the knees still wobble on occasion...but, I still hold on to my high standards.
I'm not single because I delayed the all-important marriage so I could build my career. ...and while I can't possibly speak for all women, as I have been repeated reminded, I can speak for the women that I do know....and there are plenty.
Those who are single....are not so because they wished it, or delayed marriage....they simply wanted a "good" husband....and were not able to find him.
Personally, I wanted an Orthodox man....and all the boys (who are now men) grew up and married the girls outside the Church - who also happened to have better careers, a few turned out to prefer men over women....and only....hmm.....ONE married an Orthodox woman from another parish which he met as a boy in summer camp.
I am not sure what the men posting expect here of "older" single women.....but, let me tell you that most hold a job, some have adopted kids, others take care of their elderly parents.... None is single by choice or because of being greedy and wishing to build their careers....or hold out for Mr. Perfect with a huge bankroll.....and I don't care what the "statistics" say....statistics can be skewed any way the statistician wishes to skew them.
I am not angry....I was a bit hurt....but, the long drive home from my lucrative position at a major company with a corner office (not).....gave me time to think it over ....and realize what a waste of time this has all been.
For the men out there....I truly hope you look elsewhere for women....because apparently the ones you have come in contact with are horrible. Seriously. We are not all gold diggers, or career builders, or out to only please ourselves. Most women that I know, go out of their way to please others, and put themselves dead last....to the point of exhaustion.
Don't judge anyone....and that includes elderly single women. It's not for you to judge them.
....and all I can say....is that repeatedly being referred to as "creeping in to my 50's" on this thread has actually made me feel old.
I wish you all peace....and may you find exactly what it is you are looking for.
I didn't know you were funny. It is comical to start a thread and then pretend to have been "sucked in", as if everything you did and said was not 100% your own doing.
You were accused of nothing. I did remark that you were near 50 and single, but that is not an accusation. That is a fact.
And yes, those who are single because they had unrealistic expectations are single because they wished it. They now pay the price for their self-absorption and lack of vision.
I am a happily married man and therefore have no expectation of spinsters other than they have a bit of integrity and get over themselves. No man, ever, was good enough? So be it. It's comical the way some think the evil world craves them. Tell me another story about how the guy behind the counter at Chili's To Go offered to trade you an Awesome Blossom in exchange for hanky-panky.
No one has judged anyone. I have only described the consequences of certain actions. Also, wear a seatbelt or you might get scraped off the asphalt one day in a crash. That is not a judgment, but merely a description of cause and effect.
For an alleged apology, your post spends a lot of time congratulating yourself and blaming others.
By the way it wasn't the guy at Chili's, it was the guy at the Mediterranean place that just opened up the street. I had worked late at my really cool job, and decided that I didn't want to do the womanly task of cooking, so, I thought I'd get carryout. First thing "Mo" (short for Mohammad) did was check out my work "badge" and realize that I worked for a good company....all of a sudden he scoots in to the booth and sits across the table from me, asking how I like my job, how long I've been there, where do I live, why I don't have a boyfriend, and that he would love to come visit me.
I ask where he's from...and he says Egypt....I discover his whole family is still there....and he's most likely "fishing" for a greencard or sponsor. He couldn't get over my "mesmerizing" eyes...I knew he was full of it, because it was pouring rain....and I hadn't taken an umbrella....my hair was soaked, my eyes were bloodshot from staring at a computer screen all day....and he was hitting on me. Please. I might be old, but, I'm not stupid. I made sure he noticed my cross, pulled out my wallet, in which I have an icon of the Theotokos and flashed her towards him...but, he persisted. I didn't appreciate the attention. My standards were not too high. I had simply come in to get some food....and didn't need to deal with this nonsense. Of course if I had wanted to, I am sure I could probably have landed this Muslim man as a husband - at least until he got his family over here....but, there's still those high expectations that I have....and marrying a Muslim, is just slightly below the mark.
LOL! This was the best....and you folks are going to LOVE this....as we sat there, with him gazing lovingly in to my eyes (really...he was...with his chin resting on his hand....head slightly tilted...he was pouring it on thick)....I asked how life was back home since the revolution. Oh, he said it's tough...but, it's okay. Then I asked how business was at the restaurant....and he said slow, but, okay....and he's looking to advertise. .....wait for it......wait......so, his half lidded gaze snapped open....when I replied...."Well, you know you have a rather large Egyptian population not even a mile away." He looked at me...."Yes, you didn't know? There's a huge Coptic Church just down the road." Oh....but...wait....you have little respect for the Copts....and are actually killing them.
Well....I guess my eyes were no longer mesmerizing after that comment.
As for being single due to unrealistic expectations.....really? Let me double check what my expectations and high standards were all these years....oh yes....I wanted a single Orthodox man. That was it. Not really asking for that much, was I? I had visions of raising a family, and wished to do that with an Orthodox husband. ....actually, it would have been cool to have met a seminarian when I was young and to be a priest's wife. Now THAT would have been cool.
Alas, my expectations seem to have been too high.
....and as for the price I am paying for being single...you bet there is a price. Last time it was about $125 when I called a plumber to fix my leaking shower....which most likely my Orthodox husband would have known how to fix all on his own, and would have saved us $125.