Author Topic: Lord  (Read 2984 times)

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Offline witega

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Re: Lord
« Reply #45 on: May 03, 2012, 01:19:20 AM »
I've been in contact with the priest, and he's stated that I have some issues with the RCC which I need to work out - though he won't give me direction on how.  I think that he wants me to continue to attending services at the parish and let the healing balm of prayer do all the working out.  I think he wants to be sure that I'm becoming Orthodox because I fully love and appreciate Orthodoxy, not because I'm angry with and running away from Catholicism - which makes complete sense.  It would be like divorcing from one spouse and rebounding with another when you're feelings feel the former haven't been completely resolved.

I didn't leave my previous church with these kinds of unresolved issues/anger--I just knew they didn't have answers to the questions I was asking, and Orthodoxy did--so I can't presume to give you a lot of advice about how to deal with them--certainly prayer as a default answer is never wrong (though it may not be the whole answer), but to this:

Quote
, 'I've been Catholic for five years now; why throw that away?  I can live with it.  Sure, there are scandals and disagreements and faith can be difficult to sustain as a result, but there's a lot of good going on in the RCC as well, a lot of good saints who the Orthodox don't recognize, and the RCC could use me to teach about the riches that come from our Eastern brothers and sisters, riches that can help explain a lot and can give real definition to why we're Christian at all!" 

You need to look to your own salvation first. You need to go to the place that will heal your soul. Hanging in somewhere that is not spiritually healthy for you because you think you might do good for others doesn't work. "Acquire the Spirit of Peace and thousands around you will be saved" (St. Seraphim)--but if you are not acquiring that Spirit, then you actually have nothing to offer others. You'll just die (little by little or on a greased slope, but either way) inside, and that death is all you'll have to offer others.
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For it were better to suffer everything, rather than divide the Church of God. Even martyrdom for the sake of preventing division would not be less glorious than for refusing to worship idols. - St. Dionysius the Great

Offline Big Chris

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Re: Lord
« Reply #46 on: May 03, 2012, 08:47:51 AM »
You need to look to your own salvation first. You need to go to the place that will heal your soul. Hanging in somewhere that is not spiritually healthy for you because you think you might do good for others doesn't work. "Acquire the Spirit of Peace and thousands around you will be saved" (St. Seraphim)--but if you are not acquiring that Spirit, then you actually have nothing to offer others. You'll just die (little by little or on a greased slope, but either way) inside, and that death is all you'll have to offer others.

You're absolutely right.

I realized something after I posted what I did yesterday and reflected some more and came upon a striking truth:

The question that has been in the back of my mind hasn't been 'Why should I become Orthodox?' but 'Why should I remain Catholic?' 

The reasons I continue to come up with for remaining Catholic are clearly all the wrong reasons but I keep trying to convince myself of them.  Why?  Because I'm already Catholic, I've already done the work to become Catholic; staying Catholic is easy.  To become Orthodox, I have to wait, I have to continue learning, I have to gradually settle into the rhythm of an Orthodox identity, I have to go through the catechumenate; becoming Orthodox will take effort. 

When I came that realization, the anger and resentment I've recently felt towards the RCC melted away.  That ride was fun, it was necessary - but it's no longer useful.  And that's the end of it.  I've got to move on or else risk dying in the desert.

On a side note, I regret that I e-mailed my Orthodox priest with my thoughts concerning my confusion before those thoughts were fully formed and had reached their conclusion as above because now the opportunity to proximately become a catechumenate has eluded me.  All for the glory of God, though, right?  I now know that Orthodoxy is the definite path I want to be on and I really don't care how long it takes.  The journey continues...
Tasting is Believing

Offline witega

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Re: Lord
« Reply #47 on: May 03, 2012, 02:33:08 PM »
You need to look to your own salvation first. You need to go to the place that will heal your soul. Hanging in somewhere that is not spiritually healthy for you because you think you might do good for others doesn't work. "Acquire the Spirit of Peace and thousands around you will be saved" (St. Seraphim)--but if you are not acquiring that Spirit, then you actually have nothing to offer others. You'll just die (little by little or on a greased slope, but either way) inside, and that death is all you'll have to offer others.

You're absolutely right.

I realized something after I posted what I did yesterday and reflected some more and came upon a striking truth:

The question that has been in the back of my mind hasn't been 'Why should I become Orthodox?' but 'Why should I remain Catholic?' 

The reasons I continue to come up with for remaining Catholic are clearly all the wrong reasons but I keep trying to convince myself of them.  Why?  Because I'm already Catholic, I've already done the work to become Catholic; staying Catholic is easy.  To become Orthodox, I have to wait, I have to continue learning, I have to gradually settle into the rhythm of an Orthodox identity, I have to go through the catechumenate; becoming Orthodox will take effort. 

When I came that realization, the anger and resentment I've recently felt towards the RCC melted away.  That ride was fun, it was necessary - but it's no longer useful.  And that's the end of it.  I've got to move on or else risk dying in the desert.

On a side note, I regret that I e-mailed my Orthodox priest with my thoughts concerning my confusion before those thoughts were fully formed and had reached their conclusion as above because now the opportunity to proximately become a catechumenate has eluded me.  All for the glory of God, though, right?  I now know that Orthodoxy is the definite path I want to be on and I really don't care how long it takes.  The journey continues...

Great news. Thank you for sharing.
Ariel Starling - New album

For it were better to suffer everything, rather than divide the Church of God. Even martyrdom for the sake of preventing division would not be less glorious than for refusing to worship idols. - St. Dionysius the Great

Offline Big Chris

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Re: Lord
« Reply #48 on: May 04, 2012, 06:08:36 PM »
Met with my Catholic priest today.  He encouraged me to become Orthodox.  He said he could tell it gave me better roots than Catholicism.
Tasting is Believing

Offline Desiring_unity

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Re: Lord
« Reply #49 on: May 05, 2012, 02:26:58 AM »
Mint, I feel for you.  There's been an urgency in your posts that I'm completely familiar with.  The catehcumenate may not take as long as you think it will but then again, my advice is to let it be as long as it should.  There were a few posts here about EO priests not chasing after you and I've seen that to be true.  In fact, my priest has said that he wants us to wait until we get to a point where we can't NOT become Orthodox.  Dh said recently he's just not there yet.  I'm left waiting.  My priest would prefer to bring my whole family in together and I know deep down, he's right, but my own urgency gets in the way of seeing the wisdom.  My point is, shed yourself and you will find the sweetness of Orthodoxy...and by shedding yourself, you'll be able to bear the time in the catechumenate and see the fruit of it in the years to come.  May God's mercy be upon you. 
"Beloved in Christ, if you ever despair, wondering if what you do for God matters, remember: each single act of holiness is like a stone thrown into an ocean—the ripples go forth, and we do not know whom they touch or where they end."

From: http://www.antiochian.org/node/18911