Author Topic: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women  (Read 1706 times)

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Offline Jetavan

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Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« on: April 29, 2014, 01:59:13 PM »
Groups across Israel were this morning calling for international condemnation and possible military action against hot Lebanese women following reports that George Clooney had proposed to his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin.

[Clooney] who only last year claimed to have had no marriage aspirations, is believed to have been showing off an engagement ring with the Beirut-born barrister over the weekend, provoking a wave of anger from fans across Israel.

“We cannot allow the world to sit idly by in the face of this unprovoked act of terror,” said Lydia Cohen of the Tel Aviv George Clooney Appreciation Society.

Cohen, echoing a call being heard across Israel, is now urging for military strikes against all attractive single Lebanese women to prevent such a situation from arising again.
If you will, you can become all flame.
Extra caritatem nulla salus.
In order to become whole, take the "I" out of "holiness".
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Ἄνω σχῶμεν τὰς καρδίας
"Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is." -- Mohandas Gandhi
Y dduw bo'r diolch.

Offline vamrat

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2014, 02:20:48 PM »
I knew it.  Israel is now controlled by the Pink Mafia too.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2014, 02:39:26 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 
Quote from: Fr Alexander Schmemann
The Gospel is quite clear: both saints and sinners love God. "Religious" people do not love him, and whenever they can, they crucify him.

Of course, OC.net is not reflective of the Church, but is rather a surreal bubble. I have visited a lot of different parishes around the world and have listened to many hours of AFR...

Offline scamandrius

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2014, 07:38:29 PM »
You could tell this was satire since it called Clooney the star if "Batman and Robin."  I think even Clooney has that purged from his résumé.

Offline xOrthodox4Christx

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2014, 08:16:46 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 

Following St. Paul's "be of one mind" I concur.
"Let books be your dining table, / And you shall be full of delights. / Let them be your
mattress,/And you shall sleep restful nights" (St. Ephraim the Syrian)

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2014, 08:51:05 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 

Following St. Paul's "be of one mind" I concur.

"How good and how pleasant it is when brethren dwell in unity..."
Quote from: Fr Alexander Schmemann
The Gospel is quite clear: both saints and sinners love God. "Religious" people do not love him, and whenever they can, they crucify him.

Of course, OC.net is not reflective of the Church, but is rather a surreal bubble. I have visited a lot of different parishes around the world and have listened to many hours of AFR...

Online Asteriktos

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2014, 09:40:41 PM »
You could tell this was satire ...

I still think that Mor Ephrem and xOrthodox4Christx have the right idea. Perhaps this is a situation that calls for a pre-emptive strike...?

Offline Gamliel

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2014, 10:10:39 PM »
^ You would be a good leader for the undercover mission before the invasion.  ;)