Author Topic: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women  (Read 1914 times)

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Offline Jetavan

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Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« on: April 29, 2014, 01:59:13 PM »
Groups across Israel were this morning calling for international condemnation and possible military action against hot Lebanese women following reports that George Clooney had proposed to his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin.

[Clooney] who only last year claimed to have had no marriage aspirations, is believed to have been showing off an engagement ring with the Beirut-born barrister over the weekend, provoking a wave of anger from fans across Israel.

“We cannot allow the world to sit idly by in the face of this unprovoked act of terror,” said Lydia Cohen of the Tel Aviv George Clooney Appreciation Society.

Cohen, echoing a call being heard across Israel, is now urging for military strikes against all attractive single Lebanese women to prevent such a situation from arising again.
If you will, you can become all flame.
Extra caritatem nulla salus.
In order to become whole, take the "I" out of "holiness".
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Ἄνω σχῶμεν τὰς καρδίας
"Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is." -- Mohandas Gandhi
Y dduw bo'r diolch.

Offline vamrat

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2014, 02:20:48 PM »
I knew it.  Israel is now controlled by the Pink Mafia too.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Online Mor Ephrem

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2014, 02:39:26 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 
How can you be so incarnationally constipated?

Offline scamandrius

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2014, 07:38:29 PM »
You could tell this was satire since it called Clooney the star if "Batman and Robin."  I think even Clooney has that purged from his résumé.
Da quod iubes et iube quod vis.

Offline xOrthodox4Christx

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2014, 08:16:46 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 

Following St. Paul's "be of one mind" I concur.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”- St. Ambrose of Milan

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"He who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20)

Online Mor Ephrem

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2014, 08:51:05 PM »
I do not support military strikes, but I will volunteer to conduct interrogations if they invade and capture the target populace. 

Following St. Paul's "be of one mind" I concur.

"How good and how pleasant it is when brethren dwell in unity..."
How can you be so incarnationally constipated?

Online Asteriktos

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2014, 09:40:41 PM »
You could tell this was satire ...

I still think that Mor Ephrem and xOrthodox4Christx have the right idea. Perhaps this is a situation that calls for a pre-emptive strike...?
"It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt." - Dostoevsky

Offline Luke

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Re: Israel calls for military strikes against hot Lebanese women
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2014, 10:10:39 PM »
^ You would be a good leader for the undercover mission before the invasion.  ;)