Author Topic: Need some belp  (Read 2105 times)

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Offline mike

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Need some belp
« on: March 14, 2012, 01:47:52 PM »
I would be highly grateful if someone would correct that for me:

Archimandrite Gabriel – an Orthodox monk from the Podlasie province in Poland – is the founder and sole inhabitant of the Kudak grove hermitage by river Narew. During his first few years there, he lived and prayed in a wagon house, without electricity, running water, or contact with the outside world. After five years, thanks to the help of people of Orthodox faith from local villages, the grove saw the rise of a wooden church, a dormitory for monks, and outbuildings.

Pilgrims are drawn to the place by archimandrite Gabriel's personality: he can find common ground with anyone, he grants spiritual advice, heals with herbs, and keeps bees. When necessary, he rolls up his sleeves and works on building the hermitage right alongside everyone else.

The archimandrite's biggest concern is finding a successor. Prospective monks don't last long in the hermitage, however. They can't stand the lack of access to civilization, common comforts, and contact with their peers.

My film is more than a story about an exceptional man and his work. In the lazy currents of the river Narew, not only the Orthodox crosses of the hermitage reflect but our globalized world, turned away from spiritual values, stricken with money fever and trading information too. The shootings lasted three years, long enough for me to notice and understand that.

The strength of "Archimandrite" is that - I have the impression - I was able to touch both the local, rooted in the Podlachian Belarusian Orthodox microcosm and universal values, fundamental in human life, regardless of age, and his place on earth as well. The confirmation of these words may be that the preview screening in the Bialystok Forum Cinema ran out of tickets on the second day of sale (the cinema hall has 400 seats). We had to quickly organize a second show, at which volunteers also were present two times more than the seats.

« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 01:48:38 PM by Michał Kalina »
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Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 01:58:01 PM »
Archimandrite Gabriel, an Orthodox monk from the Podlasie Province in Poland, is the founder and sole inhabitant of the Kudak Grove Hermitage by the River Narew. During his first few years there, he lived and prayed in a wagon house without electricity, running water, or contact with the outside world. After five years, thanks to the help of people of Orthodox Christians faith from local villages, the Grove saw the rise of a wooden church, a dormitory for monks, and outbuildings.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2012, 01:59:47 PM »
Pilgrims are drawn to the place by Archimandrite Gabriel's personality. He can find common ground with anyone. He grants spiritual advice, heals with herbs, and keeps bees. When necessary, he rolls up his sleeves and works on building the hermitage right alongside everyone else.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2012, 02:01:12 PM »
The archimandrite's biggest concern is finding a successor. However, prospective monks don't last long in the hermitage. ,however They can't stand the lack of access to civilization, common comforts, and contact with their peers.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 02:02:12 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2012, 02:12:29 PM »
Quote
My film is more than a story about an exceptional man and his work. In the lazy currents of the River Narew, the presence of the Holy Cross at not only the Orthodox crosses of the hermitage stands in stark contrast reflect but also to our globalized world, which has not only turned away from spiritual values, but also is stricken with money fever and swamped with trading information too. The film shootings lasted three years, long enough for me to notice and understand that.

The last sentence (bolded) does not flow and seems out of place. Could this piece of information be incorporated into the first sentence as a clause (My film, which took three years to produce, ...)?
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 02:30:19 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2012, 02:20:02 PM »
Quote
The strength of "Archimandrite" is that - I have the impression - I was able to touch both the local, rooted in the Podlachian Belarusian Orthodox microcosm and universal values, fundamental in human life, regardless of age, and his place on earth as well. The confirmation of these words may be that the preview screening in the Bialystok Forum Cinema ran out of tickets on the second day of sale (the cinema hall has 400 seats). We had to quickly organize a second show, at which volunteers also were present two times more than the seats.

Please check this paragraph. There are some awkward constructions here. I have highlighted those areas in pink.

You might want to eliminate or use another expression instead of "The confirmation of these words may be that" -- Your film obviously appealed to people who are starving for films that depict our rich Orthodox heritage and faith.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 02:29:34 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2012, 02:34:47 PM »
Archimandrite Gabriel, an Orthodox monk from the Podlasie Province in Poland, is the founder and sole inhabitant of the Kudak Grove Hermitage by the River Narew. During his first few years there, he lived and prayed in a wagon house without electricity, running water, or contact with the outside world. After five years, thanks to the help of people of Orthodox Christians faith from local villages, the Grove saw the rise of a wooden church, a dormitory for monks, and outbuildings.

NOTE: new suggestions below (time ran out to edit the paragraph above):

Were these Orthodox Christians only or did Catholics and Protestants also contribute?
If many different people of faith (Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc) helped out, then your original words would be acceptable.

In fact, mentioning that different faiths contributed to the support of this hermitage would show the broad support of this spiritual endeavor.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 02:37:36 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline orthonorm

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2012, 02:46:12 PM »
Michal, in addition to the suggestions for correction, would you like an explanation for them?

Your English is quite good and at your level of fluency revisiting the reasons for usuage can be quite helpful, IME.

Let me know.
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Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2012, 03:00:22 PM »
Michal, in addition to the suggestions for correction, would you like an explanation for them?

Your English is quite good and at your level of fluency revisiting the reasons for usuage can be quite helpful, IME.

Let me know.

Indeed, Michal, your level of fluency is almost native-like. Your command of English is outstanding.
In fact, I have seen books published by native-born English-speaking citizens with far more errors.

Even though we are said to have mastered our native tongue by the age of five, polishing our language takes time.
And when you realize that English is primarily a mixture of Celtic, Norse, Latin, Germanic languages, and French, then
you can easily see why Americans have atrocious spelling. Even pajama came into English from the Arabic.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 03:04:26 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline orthonorm

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2012, 03:23:07 PM »
Even though we are said to have mastered our native tongue by the age of five, polishing our language takes time.

Since five, rather than polishing it, I've been Polishing it.

*ZING*
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Offline mike

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2012, 03:29:54 PM »
Thank you, Maria, for your help. No, I didn't write it. I was only asked for a translation.

I've taken into account your advice but I'm afraid there is one thing I couldn't explain properly.

Quote
My film is more than a story about an exceptional man and his work. In the lazy currents of the River Narew, the presence of the Holy Cross at not only the Orthodox crosses of the hermitage stands in stark contrast reflect but also to our globalized world, which has not only turned away from spiritual values, but also is stricken with money fever and swamped with trading information too. The film shootings lasted three years, long enough for me to notice and understand that.

The last sentence (bolded) does not flow and seems out of place. Could this piece of information be incorporated into the first sentence as a clause (My film, which took three years to produce, ...)?

A metaphor was used there. The hermitage is on the river bank. There are reflections of the crosses in the water (good thing) but metaphorically water also reflects "lay world" and actions directed against the hermitage (bad things).

Michal, in addition to the suggestions for correction, would you like an explanation for them?

Yeah, sure.
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Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2012, 04:10:53 PM »
Thank you, Maria, for your help. No, I didn't write it. I was only asked for a translation.

I've taken into account your advice but I'm afraid there is one thing I couldn't explain properly.

Quote
My film is more than a story about an exceptional man and his work. In the lazy currents of the River Narew, the presence of the Holy Cross at not only the Orthodox crosses of the hermitage stands in stark contrast reflect but also to our globalized world, which has not only turned away from spiritual values, but also is stricken with money fever and swamped with trading information too. The film shootings lasted three years, long enough for me to notice and understand that.

The last sentence (bolded) does not flow and seems out of place. Could this piece of information be incorporated into the first sentence as a clause (My film, which took three years to produce, ...)?

A metaphor was used there. The hermitage is on the river bank. There are reflections of the crosses in the water (good thing) but metaphorically water also reflects "lay world" and actions directed against the hermitage (bad things).

Michal, in addition to the suggestions for correction, would you like an explanation for them?

Yeah, sure.

How about this rendition:

My film, which took three years to produce, is more than a story about an exceptional man and his work. In the lazy currents of the River Narew, the pure reflection of the hermitage's Holy Cross in still waters stands in stark contrast to the image of a cross in turbulent water symbolizing our globalized world with its distorted spiritual values that are stricken by money fever and swamped with communicative overload.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 04:22:22 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline mike

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2012, 05:07:56 PM »
Thenk you one more time :)
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Offline genesisone

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2012, 09:32:12 AM »
And when you realize that English is primarily a mixture of Celtic, Norse, Latin, Germanic languages, and French, then
you can easily see why Americans have atrocious spelling. Even pajama came into English from the Arabic.
I think you mean pyjama  ;) :police:  :D .

Offline Maria

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2012, 02:08:57 PM »
And when you realize that English is primarily a mixture of Celtic, Norse, Latin, Germanic languages, and French, then
you can easily see why Americans have atrocious spelling. Even pajama came into English from the Arabic.
I think you mean pyjama  ;) :police:  :D .

Either is acceptable. In fact, pajama is becoming more acceptable as that is how it sounds, and people are being taught to spell phonetically in the schools.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pajama?s=t

Quote
pajama
[puh-jah-muh, -jam-uh]   Origin
pa·ja·ma
   [puh-jah-muh, -jam-uh] Show IPA
adjective
of, pertaining to, or resembling pajamas: a pajama top; a lounging outfit with pajama pants.
Origin:
see pajamas

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pyjama?s=t

Quote
World English Dictionary
pyjama or  ( US ) pajama  (pəˈdʒɑːmə)
 
— n
1.    of or forming part of pyjamas: pyjama top
2.    requiring pyjamas to be worn: a pyjama party
 
pajama or  ( US ) pajama
 
— n
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline genesisone

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2012, 09:02:09 PM »
And when you realize that English is primarily a mixture of Celtic, Norse, Latin, Germanic languages, and French, then
you can easily see why Americans have atrocious spelling. Even pajama came into English from the Arabic.
I think you mean pyjama  ;) :police:  :D .

Either is acceptable. In fact, pajama is becoming more acceptable as that is how it sounds, and people are being taught to spell phonetically in the schools.
[sigh] [/sigh] You missed my point that I was agreeing with you that English can confuse even native speakers because of variations in acceptable spellings and points of grammar. Of course, that's not peculiar to English. Any language of any size will have regional standards for both spoken and written forms of the language.

BTW, acceptable to whom? And no, it's not how it sounds - the three a's are not pronounced identically - makes more sense to write the word with different vowels. But then again, there's no reason to expect a language to be logical.

(Maria: nothing personal in this, OK? I'm a bit of nitpicker on this and a few other things  :angel:)

Offline Aindriú

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2012, 12:37:33 AM »
peh-jah-muh

I'm going to need this.

Offline mike

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2013, 02:42:00 PM »
'Slavic' or 'Slavonic'?
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Offline Romaios

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2013, 03:28:32 PM »
'Slavic' or 'Slavonic'?

"Slavic" 99% of the time. "Slavonic" only in "Old Church Slavonic".
« Last Edit: June 30, 2013, 03:29:03 PM by Romaios »

Offline mike

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2013, 03:44:48 PM »
'Slavic' or 'Slavonic'?

"Slavic" 99% of the time. "Slavonic" only in "Old Church Slavonic".

Why?
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Offline Romaios

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Re: Need some belp
« Reply #20 on: June 30, 2013, 03:48:12 PM »
'Slavic' or 'Slavonic'?

"Slavic" 99% of the time. "Slavonic" only in "Old Church Slavonic".

Why?

"Slavonic" became obsolete, I guess.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2013, 04:06:44 PM by Romaios »