I have also been to Japan on multiple occasions and understand that people are not spending the majority of their days kneeling in tatami rooms, making full-prostrations in kimono. I just happen to like sake and various other dentou-teki things.
I am sure you had some nice vacations. Did you know there is an English word, "traditional"?
Since real Japanese men don't drink sake, perhaps you could partake in one of their other favoured pastimes on my behalf? Not having sex with one's wife, buying crappy softcore porn from the konbini, hitting up the local indoor golf centre and spending far too much time crafting Dragonball-inspired hair all come to mind as being representative.
You have mashed up a lot of different types of men. Salarymen tend not to have the Dragonball hair, for example.
With that out of the way, thanks for the advice re ze/zo.
I prefer the Kansai dialect, myself. Especially the Kyoto variant.
What particularly about Kyoto dialect? I find that there isn't that much unique to Kyoto and what is tends to be used by women. There are a few things that people saying are Kyoto dialect, such as the -haru stem, but I've heard that all over Kansai. "Kansai dialect" is a pretty broad term, so I should clarifying that mine is largely Osaka-influenced given where I have lived (Kii Peninsula). My wife is from a section of Osaka prefecture that has a notoriously coarse dialect (it was the subject of a pop song some years ago), but she speaks with an Osaka dialect that is appropriate to a well-mannered woman.
In the context of shujoshi, I am much more likely to say "de" instead of "zo". While there are books about "How to Speak Kansai-ben", I really recommend that people not try to affect a dialect. It just sounds weird. (I would have a very hard time try to speak in Tokyo dialect, which is not standard Japanese (hyoujungo)).