Just purchased the Philakolia off Amazon
...is barely 50 pages into The Orthodox Church
--
You should really avoid all that weirdo superstitious "Rapture" stuff
...the evil eye might not like it
--
Sees "Keep the Christ in Christ-mas" posts on Facebook
Argues in comments section that X is Greek initial for Christ
--
Family asks him to lead prayer at Thanksgiving dinner
...the food is cold by the time he finishes
--
His father offers him a cup of coffee before he takes off for Liturgy in the morning
THIS IS FASTING PERIOD!!!111
--
All those hip mega-Protestant Churches use too much technology!
Recites the Nicene Creed from iPhone notes
--
Goes on date
hur hurr, I wanna see you without your headcovering on
--
Refuses to sing along to 'Hark, the Harold Angels Sing'
It is a Docetist Christological heresy
--
Laughs at Protestants for wearing 'Jesus is my BFF' or 'I <3 Jesus' apparel
...wears 300 knot Prayer Rope as a fashion accessory
--
Watches History Channel
Gets offended every time the pre-schism Church is referred to as 'The Catholic Church', there was no Catholic Church until 1054
--
The 'Catholic Church'?
You mean ROMAN Catholic Church?
--
OrthodoxWiki.org,
...article edited & revised by Herman
--
Edits Wikipedia articles,
Changes 'Catholic' to 'Orthodox' on pre-schism Church articles
--
The sexually immoral will not make it into Heaven,
Internet browsing history; Busty Orthodox Ruskies with big Tushies.xxx
--
Uses facebook,
creates fan pages for various Saints
--
Obama is evil!!11
Stalin and Vlad the Impaler weren't really all that bad
--
Prevents pregnant woman from Communing,
That fetus hasn't been Baptised yet!!