Just purchased the Philakolia off Amazon
...is barely 50 pages into The Orthodox Church
You should really avoid all that weirdo superstitious "Rapture" stuff
...the evil eye might not like it
Sees "Keep the Christ in Christ-mas" posts on Facebook
Argues in comments section that X is Greek initial for Christ
Family asks him to lead prayer at Thanksgiving dinner
...the food is cold by the time he finishes
His father offers him a cup of coffee before he takes off for Liturgy in the morning
THIS IS FASTING PERIOD!!!111
All those hip mega-Protestant Churches use too much technology!
Recites the Nicene Creed from iPhone notes
Goes on date
hur hurr, I wanna see you without your headcovering on
Refuses to sing along to 'Hark, the Harold Angels Sing'
It is a Docetist Christological heresy
Laughs at Protestants for wearing 'Jesus is my BFF' or 'I <3 Jesus' apparel
...wears 300 knot Prayer Rope as a fashion accessory
Watches History Channel
Gets offended every time the pre-schism Church is referred to as 'The Catholic Church', there was no Catholic Church until 1054
The 'Catholic Church'?
You mean ROMAN Catholic Church?
...article edited & revised by Herman
Edits Wikipedia articles,
Changes 'Catholic' to 'Orthodox' on pre-schism Church articles
The sexually immoral will not make it into Heaven,
Internet browsing history; Busty Orthodox Ruskies with big Tushies.xxx
creates fan pages for various Saints
Obama is evil!!11
Stalin and Vlad the Impaler weren't really all that bad
Prevents pregnant woman from Communing,
That fetus hasn't been Baptised yet!!