Hyperdox Herman

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

Sees people sitting on the floor during Paschal liturgy

Cradle Christopher:  Sits with them, introduces himself, asks for cigarette.

Hyperdox Herman:  Grabs them by ears and pulls them to their feet, makes them stand with the choir so they can sing.


^This happened at my Church on Pascha, and I started wondering what Hyperdox Herman and Cradle Christopher would do.   

[Ortho_cat]

Probably going to get flamed like heck for this, but I like the idea of a female Cradle Christopher; let's call her Cradle Christina.

-Cradle Christina-

Priest says dress modestly for Church

...All this tight spandex should cover me!

-Cradle Christina-

Complains that standing up for the Pascha service is too hard

...Is wearing six-inch spike heels

-Cradle Christina-

Pffh, no headcovering?! That woman over there has no class!

...Wears short black dress and hoop earrings to match headcovering

-Cradle Christina-

What a tramp, that girl's bra strap is showing!

...Good thing I'm not wearing one

some of your best work to date...

[vamrat]

In all fairness though, i think the cigarette jokes have been smoked all the way to the filter (i.e. we need more drinking jokes)

Since I'm too lazy (or drunk, happy Pascha!) to make one-

Hyperdox Herman:

Used to be Baptist and never touched alcohol

Calls you a lightweight when you don't drink 40 shots of plumb brandy on the feast day of the 40 martyrs

So, when is the Feast of the 40 Martyrs again...



**I would like to mention that during Serb-fest in the summer, my friends and I pay for 25% of the Church's yearly operating cost.

March 9- one of the few non-weekend wine and oil days during Lent.

WHAT?!?  We didn't have a service that night and I missed out on my 40 shots of Slivovitz???  What is this world coming to.

[vamrat]

Hyperdox Herman sees reader cross himself imperfectly.

Starts a Mission Church at home.

[Ortho_cat]

Hyperdox Herman sees reader cross himself imperfectly.

Starts a Mission Church at home.

i asked that in catechesis once. "why do some people cross themselves lower on the left shoulder than on the right?" The instructor told me that they were just lazy. Now i do it the same way.

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

Hyperdox Herman sees reader cross himself imperfectly.

Starts a Mission Church at home.

i asked that in catechesis once. "why do some people cross themselves lower on the left shoulder than on the right?" The instructor told me that they were just lazy. Now i do it the same way.

I've seen some clergy who don't touch their shoulder/chest at all, but merely dangle their hand in front.   

[Ortho_cat]

Hyperdox Herman sees reader cross himself imperfectly.

Starts a Mission Church at home.

i asked that in catechesis once. "why do some people cross themselves lower on the left shoulder than on the right?" The instructor told me that they were just lazy. Now i do it the same way.

I've seen some clergy who don't touch their shoulder/chest at all, but merely dangle their hand in front.  

 

it makes one think, was Christ merely made to look as if he was suspended on the cross being held up by air, or was he held there by nails?

[vamrat]

Hyperdox Herman sees reader cross himself imperfectly.

Starts a Mission Church at home.

i asked that in catechesis once. "why do some people cross themselves lower on the left shoulder than on the right?" The instructor told me that they were just lazy. Now i do it the same way.

This was a two-finger crossing, not a lazy one.

[Jason.Wike]

Sees people sitting on the floor during Paschal liturgy

Cradle Christopher:  Sits with them, introduces himself, asks for cigarette.

Hyperdox Herman:  Grabs them by ears and pulls them to their feet, makes them stand with the choir so they can sing.


^This happened at my Church on Pascha, and I started wondering what Hyperdox Herman and Cradle Christopher would do.   

Someone asked for a cigarette in church?

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

Sees people sitting on the floor during Paschal liturgy

Cradle Christopher:  Sits with them, introduces himself, asks for cigarette.

Hyperdox Herman:  Grabs them by ears and pulls them to their feet, makes them stand with the choir so they can sing.


^This happened at my Church on Pascha, and I started wondering what Hyperdox Herman and Cradle Christopher would do.   

Someone asked for a cigarette in church?

I was exaggerating a bit 

We had these three kids (not older than 20), one guy and two girls show up for Pascha.  The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).  They sat cross-legged on the floor for the rest of the service after the procession. 

I had no issues, but I was surprised when no one said anything.  During my first passion gospels service, I started to feel ill and sat in the pew for a bit instead of standing, and a woman from the choir behind me tapped me and said that if I couldn't stand I ahd to kneel...

[akimori makoto]

What a tramp, that girl's bra strap is showing!

...Good thing I'm not wearing one

Gold!

[Justin Kissel]

During my first passion gospels service, I started to feel ill and sat in the pew for a bit instead of standing, and a woman from the choir behind me tapped me and said that if I couldn't stand I ahd to kneel...

See, this is why I'm glad no one has ever done that to me. If they had, I'd have given them half the peace sign...

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

During my first passion gospels service, I started to feel ill and sat in the pew for a bit instead of standing, and a woman from the choir behind me tapped me and said that if I couldn't stand I ahd to kneel...

See, this is why I'm glad no one has ever done that to me. If they had, I'd have given them half the peace sign...

It actually embarrassed me quite a bit, especially since this person was a newer member than myself.  I just felt like they had no right to tell me how I should act. 

I think that it was quite a lesson on how to treat others in Church.

[JamesR]

The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts, but I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over. I mean, Pascha is the most important event of the year and combine this with the fact that the Church is a temple; I really do not think waltzing in dressed all casual like it is a Protestant rock-concert Church service is appropriate at all. We shouldn't have to change our standards for people just because American society along with Protestantism has lowered theirs.

[witega]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts, but I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over. I mean, Pascha is the most important event of the year and combine this with the fact that the Church is a temple; I really do not thinking waltzing all in dresses all casual like it is a Protestant rock-concert Church service is appropriate at all. We shouldn't have to change our standards for people just because American society along with Protestantism has lowered theirs.

I certainly see your point.  I think that these people were probably just curious and stumbled upon our website or soemthing, and wanted to some to our Easter service (Pascha).  It's common in my community for people not to go to Church at all.  He could not of been aware that what he was wearing was disrespectful.

I think, if it's God's will, he'll return in some nice closed-toed shoes and some slacks  

[JamesR]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

I never thought of that. Anyway, I mean, the guy should have at least made some effort to dress nicer and think that this is an important event. Even if he just wore a button-up shirt and shorts, but coming in like that is unacceptable. My mom is not even Orthodox and does not even know what Pascha means, but knowing that it is very important for us and that it is a Church, she wouldn't even let me wear my casual Vans shoes with my suit to Pascha because she said they were inappropriate; she made me wear fancy leather dress shoes that I never wore before. I think that if my mother, who is a Protestant with little to no knowledge on Orthodoxy, would go this far for me, that this guy in question could have at least made some more effort than he did.

[vamrat]

The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts, but I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over. I mean, Pascha is the most important event of the year and combine this with the fact that the Church is a temple; I really do not thinking waltzing all in dresses all casual like it is a Protestant rock-concert Church service is appropriate at all. We shouldn't have to change our standards for people just because American society along with Protestantism has lowered theirs.

Our priest is rather vocal about people needing to be dressed properly for church, though he tends to be a bit more lenient on weekday services about jeans, seeing as most of us who go to those have just come from a 8-9 hour day at work!

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts, but I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over. I mean, Pascha is the most important event of the year and combine this with the fact that the Church is a temple; I really do not thinking waltzing all in dresses all casual like it is a Protestant rock-concert Church service is appropriate at all. We shouldn't have to change our standards for people just because American society along with Protestantism has lowered theirs.

Our priest is rather vocal about people needing to be dressed properly for church, though he tends to be a bit more lenient on weekday services about jeans, seeing as most of us who go to those have just come from a 8-9 hour day at work!

I've never been told about my wearing jeans, which is most Sundays (if I'm not wearing kakhy cargo pants).  I only just bought some dress slacks which I'll be wearing.  I just wear my jeans with some nice shoes and a nice polo or button-up shirt.  Father knows that my family doesn't have alot of money to spend on nice clothes, so I wear what I can. 

I would never dream of showing my legs by wearing shorts anywhere, not to mention in Church!

[FormerReformer]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

I never thought of that. Anyway, I mean, the guy should have at least made some effort to dress nicer and think that this is an important event. Even if he just wore a button-up shirt and shorts, but coming in like that is unacceptable. My mom is not even Orthodox and does not even know what Pascha means, but knowing that it is very important for us and that it is a Church, she wouldn't even let me wear my casual Vans shoes with my suit to Pascha because she said they were inappropriate; she made me wear fancy leather dress shoes that I never wore before. I think that if my mother, who is a Protestant with little to no knowledge on Orthodoxy, would go this far for me, that this guy in question could have at least made some more effort than he did.

I also wouldn't be too quick to judge- my own job ended up (insert some less profanity laden term that still appropriately expresses the level of anger here)ing me over on my schedule so that by the time I got out of work the Pascha service had already started and by the time I got to my parish the Procession was just wrapping up. Expecting to get out of work much earlier and with time to spare for getting changed I had changed out of my suit and into my work clothes before leaving following the Holy Saturday Liturgy of St Basil. As it was, I ended up attending in my work clothes and reeking of fast food, my suit in the choir room. I'm just glad I was able to make the service at all and very seriously looking for another job.

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

I never thought of that. Anyway, I mean, the guy should have at least made some effort to dress nicer and think that this is an important event. Even if he just wore a button-up shirt and shorts, but coming in like that is unacceptable. My mom is not even Orthodox and does not even know what Pascha means, but knowing that it is very important for us and that it is a Church, she wouldn't even let me wear my casual Vans shoes with my suit to Pascha because she said they were inappropriate; she made me wear fancy leather dress shoes that I never wore before. I think that if my mother, who is a Protestant with little to no knowledge on Orthodoxy, would go this far for me, that this guy in question could have at least made some more effort than he did.

I also wouldn't be too quick to judge- my own job ended up (insert some less profanity laden term that still appropriately expresses the level of anger here)ing me over on my schedule so that by the time I got out of work the Pascha service had already started and by the time I got to my parish the Procession was just wrapping up. Expecting to get out of work much earlier and with time to spare for getting changed I had changed out of my suit and into my work clothes before leaving following the Holy Saturday Liturgy of St Basil. As it was, I ended up attending in my work clothes and reeking of fast food, my suit in the choir room. I'm just glad I was able to make the service at all and very seriously looking for another job.

When I was working in fast food last summer, the only way I was going to make vespers was if I attended in my uniform.  I got off at 5pm, had to stay to have my manager count down the cash drawer which took until about 5:20, and had to make vespers at 5:30. 

I, sadly, didn't smell like the food we served.  I smelled like the cleaning agent we used on tables, soap and perspiration.  It was pretty gross, but everyone pretended not to notice  .

[Jason.Wike]

The poor guy had on a polo, shorts and flip-flops (It started to lightly hail and get very cold for the procession).

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts, but I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over. I mean, Pascha is the most important event of the year and combine this with the fact that the Church is a temple; I really do not thinking waltzing all in dresses all casual like it is a Protestant rock-concert Church service is appropriate at all. We shouldn't have to change our standards for people just because American society along with Protestantism has lowered theirs.

Our priest is rather vocal about people needing to be dressed properly for church, though he tends to be a bit more lenient on weekday services about jeans, seeing as most of us who go to those have just come from a 8-9 hour day at work!

Hmm, I wear jeans... I think slacks look ridiculous on me. I feel like I'm dressing down if I put them on, rather than dressing up. I started to put some on for Easter thinking I should wear them but it felt totally wrong. They feel like pajamas and look weird. To me they are work clothes not nice dressy clothes.

[mike]

I almost always go in jenas and there were a few times I went in shorts (however my mom scolded me for that).

Pascha is the separate case, though. I was in suit.

[akimori makoto]

I have skipped liturgy before because I was away from home and didn't have any nice clothes with me.

Mission accomplished by the judgmental hyperdox crowd, I suppose.

[JamesR]

Try keeping an emergency suit or at least a nice shirt and dress pants in a suitcase in the trunk of your car for those moments.

[Agabus]

Try keeping an emergency suit or at least a nice shirt and dress pants in a suitcase in the trunk of your car for those moments.

Emergency church visits?

[FormerReformer]

Try keeping an emergency suit or at least a nice shirt and dress pants in a suitcase in the trunk of your car for those moments.

Hmmm- work or casual clothes versus wrinkled suit/dress shirt (for those who actually have their own car that is- my suit stayed at church because there is a very nice train connecting work and church and gas is expensive!)- yeah, I'll take option (a).

[Justin Kissel]

I keep a blanket in the trunk for emergencies... I could just throw it over me toga style 

[William]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

[JamesR]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

[Quinault]

I have to make fun of myself here. (and share my adorable baby )

Hyperdox Henrietta makes her baby wear a suit to Pascha

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

On a serious note, is it natural for coverts to go through a hyperdox stage and then to simmer down?  

[Agabus]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

On a serious note, is it natural for coverts to go through a hyperdox stage and then to simmer down?  

Does the Pope poop in the woods?

[FormerReformer]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

On a serious note, is it natural for coverts to go through a hyperdox stage and then to simmer down?  

Does the Pope poop in the woods?

I used the more vulgar form of this one in front of a coworker once who asked, in all seriousness, "he does?"

[Tallitot]

I keep a blanket in the trunk for emergencies... I could just throw it over me toga style 

A nice wool tallit comes in handy on cold mornings

[witega]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

I never thought of that. Anyway, I mean, the guy should have at least made some effort to dress nicer and think that this is an important event.

a. I'm just glad the guy was in Church. A lot of people weren't.
b. As a 24-year-old grad student with a chronically ill wife and 2 small children, I was just happy I had a pair of jeans without any holes in them to wear to Pascha. And if my one good pair of jeans had gotten ripped at the last minute, which would be more important? Wearing whatever I had available or skipping Pascha because I couldn't dress to people's standards?
c. You don't know what the priest may have said to him. You don't know what his godfather may have said to him. You don't know what 3 other strangers may have said to him. Do you even want to take a chance on being stranger #6 who instead of welcoming him to the Feast, criticized his presence and became the straw that broke the camel's back and caused him never to come back to that unwelcoming church?
d. What is more important, his salvation or what he's wearing? What is more important, you focusing on the prayers or paying attention to what other people are wearing?

Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

If someone asks, it's perfectly appropriate to tell them what you think they should wear. If they don't, it's perfectly appropriate to mind your own business--as in worry about your own salvation.

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

I find this really inappropriate and think that someone should have told him something, even if it was just the Priest in private when everything was over

If it was done in private, then how would you know whether it was done or not?

I never thought of that. Anyway, I mean, the guy should have at least made some effort to dress nicer and think that this is an important event.

a. I'm just glad the guy was in Church. A lot of people weren't.
b. As a 24-year-old grad student with a chronically ill wife and 2 small children, I was just happy I had a pair of jeans without any holes in them to wear to Pascha. And if my one good pair of jeans had gotten ripped at the last minute, which would be more important? Wearing whatever I had available or skipping Pascha because I couldn't dress to people's standards?
c. You don't know what the priest may have said to him. You don't know what his godfather may have said to him. You don't know what 3 other strangers may have said to him. Do you even want to take a chance on being stranger #6 who instead of welcoming him to the Feast, criticized his presence and became the straw that broke the camel's back and caused him never to come back to that unwelcoming church?
d. What is more important, his salvation or what he's wearing? What is more important, you focusing on the prayers or paying attention to what other people are wearing?

Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

If someone asks, it's perfectly appropriate to tell them what you think they should wear. If they don't, it's perfectly appropriate to mind your own business--as in worry about your own salvation.

I agree with you.   

[ironchapman]

Dude, I wear a polo and black jeans to church a lot. In the summer, I frequently wear shorts. Always my nicer of each, but I don't normally break out the suit unless it's something like a wedding, funeral, or maybe Easter and Christmas (really do want to start getting in the habit again for the latter two). Or a formal banquet, but that's not necessarily a church-related thing. Never had anyone stop to tell me I should dress differently, priest or laity, nor do I really feel like I should.

I understand that we need to be a little bit more liberal and laid back since we are trying to reach out to Americans and gain converts

Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't you an American and a recent convert?

a. I'm just glad the guy was in Church. A lot of people weren't.
b. As a 24-year-old grad student with a chronically ill wife and 2 small children, I was just happy I had a pair of jeans without any holes in them to wear to Pascha. And if my one good pair of jeans had gotten ripped at the last minute, which would be more important? Wearing whatever I had available or skipping Pascha because I couldn't dress to people's standards?
c. You don't know what the priest may have said to him. You don't know what his godfather may have said to him. You don't know what 3 other strangers may have said to him. Do you even want to take a chance on being stranger #6 who instead of welcoming him to the Feast, criticized his presence and became the straw that broke the camel's back and caused him never to come back to that unwelcoming church?
d. What is more important, his salvation or what he's wearing? What is more important, you focusing on the prayers or paying attention to what other people are wearing?

Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

If someone asks, it's perfectly appropriate to tell them what you think they should wear. If they don't, it's perfectly appropriate to mind your own business--as in worry about your own salvation.

I like this approach.

[ironchapman]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

On a serious note, is it natural for coverts to go through a hyperdox stage and then to simmer down?  

Does the Pope poop in the woods?

Is a bear Catholic?

[Alpo]

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

It's not a Hyperdox thing to dress formally in a church. I used to dress less formally when I was more Hyperdox than I am now.

EDIT: But on the other hand making a fuss about what to wear to the services IS a Hyperdox thing. Unless of course one happens to be a dandy.

[NicholasMyra]

Dark jeans or slacks and a collared shirt are my uniform for church. Nothing too fancy, though I did wear a sports jacket for Pascha.

I never wear jeans to Church, although, I am considering it now since I've progressed beyond the Hyperdox stage. I wore a suit to Pascha, but I also wore a black, heavy but casual jacket as well because it was pretty cold.

On a serious note, is it natural for coverts to go through a hyperdox stage and then to simmer down?  

Does the Pope poop in the woods?

Is a bear Catholic?

Blasphemy! St. Seraphim of Sarov was not a Latinizer! 

[Νεκτάριος]

The rest aren't as serious.  I hate to judge, but you can see their underwear through their spandex pants.  It's crazy.  Would they dress like that back in ___? 

Yes.  The best part is that Ukrainians usually complain that Americans have no sense of fashion.  The hardest part of being a teacher is suppressing laughter at such comments coming from someone dressed like a prostitute from the 80s on LSD.    

[Νεκτάριος]

I almost always go in jenas and there were a few times I went in shorts (however my mom scolded me for that).

Pascha is the separate case, though. I was in suit.

Right.  Going to Church in a Baptist style "Sunday Best" would seem dramatically out of place in Eastern Europe.  Is it that difficult to just wear normal clothes (i.e not beach clothes) to church? 

[akimori makoto]

The rest aren't as serious.  I hate to judge, but you can see their underwear through their spandex pants.  It's crazy.  Would they dress like that back in ___? 

Yes.  The best part is that Ukrainians usually complain that Americans have no sense of fashion.  The hardest part of being a teacher is suppressing laughter at such comments coming from someone dressed like a prostitute from the 80s on LSD.    

I love you.

[Alpo]

I almost always go in jenas and there were a few times I went in shorts (however my mom scolded me for that).

Pascha is the separate case, though. I was in suit.

Right.  Going to Church in a Baptist style "Sunday Best" would seem dramatically out of place in Eastern Europe.  Is it that difficult to just wear normal clothes (i.e not beach clothes) to church? 

Orthodoxy is not an Eastern European religion. I don't know about Ukraine but in my parish there are several men wearing suit and tie in the regular sunday liturgies. Both Finns and at least one Russian. Younger people tend to dress less formally but most of the elderly men wear some kind of "Sunday Best" even if it isn't exactly a suit. Same goes with the elderly females. And I don't think I have noticed anyone giving me weird looks for wearing a tie or a bowtie on sundays despite my fairly young age.

And it isn't some kind of weirdo Hyperdox parish filled with crazy converts. I actually haven't encountered any of those or individual Hermans in Finland. That seems to be an American phenomenon.

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