If Dogs Wrote Letters to God
Why do humans smell the flowers but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit but not ONE is named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I'd like you to help me remember so I can be a good dog:
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell!
The sofa is not a face towel; neither is Mom And Dad's laps.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes those noises I will remember it's not a good thing.
May I have my testicles back please?