Author Topic: Choose your spouse carefully  (Read 288 times)

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Offline mikeforjesus

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Choose your spouse carefully
« on: August 08, 2017, 01:04:47 PM »
You should not go into a marriage which is likely to end in divorce. It is your fault
For example if you marry a non religious person such as on a dating show and they divorce you they can take half your money
Such recklessness is an insult to marrriage. It is better not to get married. Do you want children from a spouse who can influence your children not to respect you ? I see that nothing different than donating sperm to a bank. I would always be thinking of my child though it is not treated as mine. I do not approve of that except maybe some cases I do not know of but I don't think there are any cases ivf is justified except the obvious maybe if for some married couples it is impossible to conceive without ivf but I don't think that is ever a problem. There is the case to remove the negative genes through ivf but I won't get into that
« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 01:15:26 PM by mikeforjesus »

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2017, 04:37:47 PM »
Human beings are protean creatures; freedom of will makes them unpredictable. You may need to develop a better system for ensuring a happy marriage than avoiding dating shows, tho that's admittedly a good start.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Online RobS

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2017, 04:42:16 PM »
You should not go into a marriage which is likely to end in divorce. It is your fault
For example if you marry a non religious person such as on a dating show and they divorce you they can take half your money
Such recklessness is an insult to marrriage. It is better not to get married. Do you want children from a spouse who can influence your children not to respect you ? I see that nothing different than donating sperm to a bank. I would always be thinking of my child though it is not treated as mine. I do not approve of that except maybe some cases I do not know of but I don't think there are any cases ivf is justified except the obvious maybe if for some married couples it is impossible to conceive without ivf but I don't think that is ever a problem. There is the case to remove the negative genes through ivf but I won't get into that
I'm with you on this Mike, especially the marriage part.
“The soul that loves God has its rest in God and in God alone. In all the paths that men walk in in the world, they do not attain peace until they draw nigh to hope in God.”

— St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 56, 89

Offline Hinterlander

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2017, 04:56:16 PM »
I love this stream-of-consciousness Orthodox wisdom. Although I doubt many people get married assuming they will inevitably divorce the person.

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2017, 04:59:29 PM »
I love this stream-of-consciousness Orthodox wisdom. Although I doubt many people get married assuming they will inevitably divorce the person.
I think Mike asked a great question:
Quote
Do you want children from a spouse who can influence your children not to respect you ?
Wisdom!
“The soul that loves God has its rest in God and in God alone. In all the paths that men walk in in the world, they do not attain peace until they draw nigh to hope in God.”

— St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 56, 89

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2017, 06:21:27 PM »
What spouse cannot? Are we looking for very low IQ matches here?
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2017, 06:55:29 PM »
You should not go into a marriage which is likely to end in divorce. It is your fault
For example if you marry a non religious person such as on a dating show and they divorce you they can take half your money
Such recklessness is an insult to marrriage. It is better not to get married. Do you want children from a spouse who can influence your children not to respect you ? I see that nothing different than donating sperm to a bank. I would always be thinking of my child though it is not treated as mine. I do not approve of that except maybe some cases I do not know of but I don't think there are any cases ivf is justified except the obvious maybe if for some married couples it is impossible to conceive without ivf but I don't think that is ever a problem. There is the case to remove the negative genes through ivf but I won't get into that
I'm with you on this Mike, especially the marriage part.

Thankyou RobS :)

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2017, 07:04:38 PM »
I love this stream-of-consciousness Orthodox wisdom. Although I doubt many people get married assuming they will inevitably divorce the person.

Thankyou Hinterlander :) If your desperate to get married you could make promises like I will be  the perfect husband more than what you can actually do and not just I will try to be. She should know you can't be that she has to accept you now and you should not promise that you are at fault

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2017, 07:10:00 PM »
What spouse cannot? Are we looking for very low IQ matches here?

what do you mean low intelligence matches ? I wish to comment more later
« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 07:18:49 PM by mikeforjesus »

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2017, 07:22:31 PM »
I love this stream-of-consciousness Orthodox wisdom. Although I doubt many people get married assuming they will inevitably divorce the person.

Thankyou Hinterlander :) If your desperate to get married you could make promises like I will be  the perfect husband more than what you can actually do and not just I will try to be. She should know you can't be that she has to accept you now and you should not promise that you are at fault

I don't mean about the duty all Christians can be but beyond what you as a person and Christian can do. Also what is perfect in her eyes may not be what is in Gods
« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 07:33:06 PM by mikeforjesus »

Offline Indocern

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2017, 08:31:46 AM »
You should not go into a marriage which is likely to end in divorce. It is your fault
For example if you marry a non religious person such as on a dating show and they divorce you they can take half your money
Such recklessness is an insult to marrriage. It is better not to get married. Do you want children from a spouse who can influence your children not to respect you ? I see that nothing different than donating sperm to a bank. I would always be thinking of my child though it is not treated as mine. I do not approve of that except maybe some cases I do not know of but I don't think there are any cases ivf is justified except the obvious maybe if for some married couples it is impossible to conceive without ivf but I don't think that is ever a problem. There is the case to remove the negative genes through ivf but I won't get into that

Religion have nothing to do with women. They do what they want no matter of their religion. Only the God's law in their heart matters if they have. As you can see everybody is going to church, some of them fasting, everybody is called christian and everybody do all religious things. But they don't act like christians. Islam forbid marriage to non-muslim, but they do it. Christianity forbid marriage to non-christian but they do it. Orthodoxy forbid marriage to non-orthodox but they do it. I talked to virgin jew girl from Israel but she wanted jew. So maybe only jews keep these things for marriage.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2017, 08:34:21 AM by Indocern »

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2017, 08:42:07 AM »
Religion have nothing to do with women. They do what they want no matter of their religion.

As do men. Nothing to see here.
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Offline Lepanto

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2017, 09:09:11 AM »
This problem field is as old as mankind, and - alas - no generally applicable solution has been found.
Your judgement can always be clouded by infatuation or disproportionate scrupulosity.
There is no way to make a fully objective decision as a human being on such matters.
Just use good judgement and hope and pray for the best.

A frequently overlooked insight is that the main point of marriage is not to make oneself happy.

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Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Choose your spouse carefully
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2017, 04:45:17 PM »
I'm not sure how perfectly accurate I am here which is why I didn't send this yesterday but I made some few corrections today it seems right

It's not about making yourself happy but it is about responsibility in bearing children. You are responsible before God if you bear an ungodly child not if you have one and cared for his faith and raising him in it. A person will still not go to hell if he does not deserve it but you might because you could have helped unless you repent but God can give extra grace for sake of the righteous parent who loves his children and suffers from their loss
That is why a person who did not care for his children to be raised with correct beliefs and not repentant can not be a bishop. That is the meaning of his children not being accused of subordination