suggest to her orthodox fasting, but 'let her off' the last week (her holy week).
if this doesn't work, i can copy from another forum my 'one person fasting, one person not fasting' lent recipe ideas. they don't exclude all oil (we can have non-olive oil in my church), but if you're married to someone who fasts less, then i suppose maybe you would be a bit flexible with the fast and not mind the oil.
i think that flexibility with church going is also good; if u both visit each other's churches, you will learn a lot and it shows love and concern for the other's spiritual life, not only your own. i used to find it easier when Pascha was on different dates, as Pascha in my church is a very big service followed by food the night before (into the small hours of the morning) and when the Paschal dates coincided, getting up a few hours later to go to a protestant church was not easy for a lazy body.
catholic Pascha is very beautiful. there is usually a late night service and one the next morning (who says they don't know asceticism?!) and in the morning service, there is veneration of the cross, which is almost like having icons; it's very beautiful.
i never made it to the night service at the time i lived close to a catholic church, due to me misunderstanding 9pm for 9am. but i have been told it's beautiful.
