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Ikonguru
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Lord have Mercy upon me, a Sinner


« on: December 13, 2011, 05:22:50 PM »

Feeling very low.
Had to move out of rented flat 2 months ago when landlord wanted property back. Now in worse place with Evil neighbor below tormenting us (my lovely Wife and 2 kids) by making sudden noises at night and pumping smoke or something similar into our flat on and off during the night. Landlord and Residents association of little help. Trying to get on Social Housing register but was told proccessing may take 6 months!
Not sleeping well -having breakdown -feeling suicidal at times.

Tried friendly approach speaking to neighbor, shaking hands etc. but he denied hearing anything. Think he doesn't want us above him as we have have kids and he works funny hours, works for some Karate club also.

Scared of going to Doctor /or being on meds, know this will lead to easy way out see:
http://ssristories.com/index.php

Currently taking St.Johns Wort as I have used this before. Childhood issues (Cruel Father, Parents big fight/attempted murder, Mother's secret affairs /suicide when I was 18, kicked out at 18, no secure home).
Left full time work nearly 3 years ago in order to try and Emmigrate to New Zealand (partly to avoid neighbor problems) and stupidly wasted all that time dithering about and letting our equity dwindle. Also spent much time studying Christianity and trying to understand inner Mysteries -is this why I am being punished so much?
God, how I wish I could go back in time -I regret so much wasting! Currently trying to get similar job back (Design /Development Engineer) with old Company. Don't know if I can face them again.
Had so many neighbor problems over years, forced to sell 2 properties once owned. Resent kids lately, -blame Wife for getting pregnant before house ownership, feel trapped in rented /poverty sector. God, this World is so full of Evil! How can I love neighbors when been assaulted, poisoned, harrassed, forced-out multiple times? Why me Lord? Just want to lead a Spiritual life -feel trapped in Work or Die culture, modern Slavery.
Getting some Housing Benefit /welfare -feel ashamed -Wife works part-time -I am a loser.
Envy monks with simple lifestyle /secure roof over heads.
Sometimes wish never got married /had kids. Oh God, how am I going to make it through this time?
Nearest Greek Orthodox Church 12 miles away. Coptic Church about 10 miles away but feel arabic service could be too much culture shock.
Getting some help from profession-linked Benevolent fund to get through Christmas but long-term future grim. Have to get back to work. Morning panic attacks. Breaking down crying often. Relatives no help.
Please pray for us /me
« Last Edit: December 13, 2011, 05:27:50 PM by Ikonguru » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2011, 05:28:25 PM »

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2011, 05:32:22 PM »

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2011, 05:52:23 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Most Holy Theotokos, pray for us.
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« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2011, 06:24:10 PM »

Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2011, 06:35:09 PM »

"Lord have mercy."


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« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2011, 06:56:22 PM »

Lord, have mercy!
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O Holy St. Demetrius pray to God for us!


« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2011, 07:08:26 PM »

While going through a similarly difficult situation about a year ago, I came across this prayer in a book called "A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God" excerpted by Bishop Theophan the Recluse from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian. I believe I purchased it in my parish bookstore. Anyway, this prayer can be found on pages 39-40:

Quote
O God righteous and praised, O God pre-eternal: Hearken unto this man, this sinner, in this hour!

Hear me, O God, hear me in Thy fortress, remember not the continual disobedience of my worthlessness.

Answer my prayer with fire, as Thou didst once for Thy Prophet.

O God of Holy powers! O, Creator of the fleshless ones! O, Thou Who didst pronouce: ask, and ye shall receive! Be Thou not repelled by me who am unclean, who have defiled my lips and covered with sins.

Hear me, Thou Who hast promised to hear those who call to Thee in truth, and direct the steps of Thy servant to the path of peace.

I cry to Thee with all my heart: God, O God, hearken unto me, O hope of all the ends of the earth and of those who travel afar. banish all unclean spirits that they may flee from the face of Thy servant.

Take up Thy weapons and shield and rise up to help me. Draw Thy sword and imprison them who persecute me. O Lord, tell my soul: I am thy salvation.

May the spirit of fear, the spirit of despondency, and the spirit of pride and of all manner of malice withdraw from my soul. In it may all manner of excitement produced by the workings of the devil be extinguished. May my spirit, soul, and body be enlightened by the light of Thy knowledge. May I come to be a perfect man made unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ with the angels and all who have been pleasing to Thee throughout the ages, and I shall glorify Thine all-honorable and venerable name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I pray you will find this prayer helpful to you in your struggles.

May the Lord have mercy on you and your family.
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« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2011, 11:13:03 PM »

Lord have mercy!
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In His Mercy,
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« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2011, 11:45:51 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2011, 12:09:07 AM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2011, 12:37:52 AM »

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2011, 03:55:52 AM »

Lord have Mercy!
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Lord have Mercy upon me, a Sinner


« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2011, 05:54:08 AM »

While going through a similarly difficult situation about a year ago, I came across this prayer in a book called "A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God" excerpted by Bishop Theophan the Recluse from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian. I believe I purchased it in my parish bookstore. Anyway, this prayer can be found on pages 39-40:

I pray you will find this prayer helpful to you in your struggles.

May the Lord have mercy on you and your family.

Thank you to all of you.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2011, 06:00:59 AM by Ikonguru » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2011, 06:26:35 AM »

While going through a similarly difficult situation about a year ago, I came across this prayer in a book called "A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God" excerpted by Bishop Theophan the Recluse from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian.
Thank you to all of you.

Continued prayers, and remember that that we have powerful allies in this struggle.
Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2011, 12:25:12 PM »


May the Lord have mercy upon you and your family and ease your burden!
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« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2011, 06:23:05 PM »

May the Lord ease your burden, and grant you His peace. Most Holy Theotokos intercede for us!
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Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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Lord have Mercy upon me, a Sinner


« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2011, 09:04:59 AM »


May the Lord have mercy upon you and your family and ease your burden!


Thank you all again for your prayers.

Had some good news today:
 -letter from Profession related Benevolent fund saying Christmas Grant of £960 (much more than expected) will be paid to us in Dec. This may keep us from being homeless by Spring.
Trying hard still to get work.

To anyone out there reading this -please don't make same mistakes as me -allowing Satan and his demons to distract you (via fear, internet, media, doubt, negative advice etc.) from your true goals.

If you are lucky enough to be in work don't chuck away a good job without something better to go to.

God bless you all!

« Last Edit: December 15, 2011, 09:22:41 AM by Ikonguru » Logged

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« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2011, 12:38:10 PM »

Glad to hear the news. Continued prayers.  angel
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« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2011, 12:48:03 PM »

Great news, praise God!
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« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2011, 02:15:41 PM »

Glory be to God!

Mother of Light,Come to the aid of Ikonguru and his family intercede with your beloved Son so He may fill what is needed in their hearts and humble home! Amen.
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Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2011, 02:49:14 PM »

Kyrie, eleison!
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« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2011, 03:22:06 PM »

Lord have mercy
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Lord have Mercy upon me, a Sinner


« Reply #23 on: December 23, 2011, 12:39:58 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers.
Decided to go to the Doctor after persuasion by Family. Prescribed anti-depressants (lofepramine) 7 days ago. Hate being on meds but was feeling so low, I didn't have the strength to do much else. Trying to stay strong for Wife and kids. Trying to get back into work still. I know others are worse off but my life seems to have been one struggle after another, lots of suffering and not much joy. When will it all end?
Why have I been persecuted again and again by neighbors?
Is God making me experience poverty and rejection to humble me? How can this all be for my own good as some Saints have suggested such things are?
Not looking forward to working in an office again -really want to change career but need money fast.
Still trying to maintain faith. Obviously I did not build my 'house' on firm rock. Oh Lord please help!
Can I still get to heaven if I endure unto the end?
Do I have to pay back all my debts?
Is there remission for my sins?
Oh Lord give me strength -if only for my Family's sake!
Because I dared delve into the mysteries of Christianity am I being punished?
« Last Edit: December 23, 2011, 12:41:49 PM by Ikonguru » Logged

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« Reply #24 on: December 23, 2011, 07:07:58 PM »

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2011, 07:27:42 PM »


Because I dared delve into the mysteries of Christianity am I being punished?


May the Lord bless you and show mercy to you and your family.

God is not punishing you for moving towards the true Faith, if anything, it's the evil one trying to keep you from it.

Be strong.  We are all praying for you.

Lord, have mercy!

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« Reply #26 on: December 25, 2011, 03:59:32 PM »

Prayers......

Lord Have Mercy....Amen Amen
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Lord have Mercy upon me, a Sinner


« Reply #27 on: February 17, 2012, 01:39:02 PM »

Just like to update.
Had more help (financial and advice /support) from a Charitable Trust (with 15 million GBP on reserve) this month.
Down to half a lofepramine tablet daily. Now take herbal medicine (5-htp, Ginko Biloba, Rhodiola Rosea, St. Johns Wort -not daily but on a low dose rota). Feeling a bit better. Stopped crying every two days.
Had two job interviews this month -offered first job -started this week - found it quite stressful, dead nervous (especially travelling as it's 40 miles away), but survived first week.
Decided to move again - even though things a little bit better with current neighbor situation.
Must endure until the end.
Thanks for all your prayers
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« Reply #28 on: February 17, 2012, 01:43:09 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Hang in there.  Kiss
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« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2012, 02:26:45 PM »

Lord have mercy!  ditto on the hang in there.  <3
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« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2012, 02:40:35 PM »


If you are moving....move closer to work!  Wink

...and watch out on that Ginko stuff.  A friend of mine was sure she was dying...and nobody could diagnose her.  YEARS later her doctor realized she was overdosing on the Ginko Biloba...so, be careful!

Praying that things continue to improve, and that the job goes well!

Lord, have mercy!!!
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« Reply #31 on: February 17, 2012, 02:49:01 PM »

didn't see this till today, but did pray 4 u when u posted the thread about writing off the car (had similar experience recently) so am continuing to pray.
main thing is to allow other people to help u and not worry about being 'weak'.
God uses those who are 'fools' by the world's standard to shame the wise, so keep up yr spiritual journey, and be honest with those around u.
eg. saying 'i don't know, i am feeling low today' is better than yelling at yr family defensively 'why do u always ask me things when i'm tired? u guys are too lazy to think it our yrselves etc. etc.'
not that i would ever do anything like that...  angel
well, i don't every day... (oops!)
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« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2012, 12:13:35 AM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2012, 11:22:16 AM »

May God continue to bless you and your family and to show you the way. You are completely dependent on Him, and He made available to you those things which you need. Smiley

God bless you and keep you strong. Amen.

In Christ's love,
Alice
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« Reply #34 on: March 04, 2012, 11:24:08 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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