Feeling very low.
Had to move out of rented flat 2 months ago when landlord wanted property back. Now in worse place with Evil neighbor below tormenting us (my lovely Wife and 2 kids) by making sudden noises at night and pumping smoke or something similar into our flat on and off during the night. Landlord and Residents association of little help. Trying to get on Social Housing register but was told proccessing may take 6 months!
Not sleeping well -having breakdown -feeling suicidal at times.
Tried friendly approach speaking to neighbor, shaking hands etc. but he denied hearing anything. Think he doesn't want us above him as we have have kids and he works funny hours, works for some Karate club also.
Scared of going to Doctor /or being on meds, know this will lead to easy way out see:http://ssristories.com/index.php
Currently taking St.Johns Wort as I have used this before. Childhood issues (Cruel Father, Parents big fight/attempted murder, Mother's secret affairs /suicide when I was 18, kicked out at 18, no secure home).
Left full time work nearly 3 years ago in order to try and Emmigrate to New Zealand (partly to avoid neighbor problems) and stupidly wasted all that time dithering about and letting our equity dwindle. Also spent much time studying Christianity and trying to understand inner Mysteries -is this why I am being punished so much?
God, how I wish I could go back in time -I regret so much wasting! Currently trying to get similar job back (Design /Development Engineer) with old Company. Don't know if I can face them again.
Had so many neighbor problems over years, forced to sell 2 properties once owned. Resent kids lately, -blame Wife for getting pregnant before house ownership, feel trapped in rented /poverty sector. God, this World is so full of Evil! How can I love neighbors when been assaulted, poisoned, harrassed, forced-out multiple times? Why me Lord? Just want to lead a Spiritual life -feel trapped in Work or Die culture, modern Slavery.
Getting some Housing Benefit /welfare -feel ashamed -Wife works part-time -I am a loser.
Envy monks with simple lifestyle /secure roof over heads.
Sometimes wish never got married /had kids. Oh God, how am I going to make it through this time?
Nearest Greek Orthodox Church 12 miles away. Coptic Church about 10 miles away but feel arabic service could be too much culture shock.
Getting some help from profession-linked Benevolent fund to get through Christmas but long-term future grim. Have to get back to work. Morning panic attacks. Breaking down crying often. Relatives no help.
Please pray for us /me