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Author Topic: If you find the time, I could use your prayers  (Read 2545 times) Average Rating: 0
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GabrieltheCelt
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Chasin' down a Hoodoo...


« on: October 27, 2011, 04:18:20 PM »

As most of you are aware by now, I'm going through a spiritually dry spell.  Or so I wanted to think.  The truth is my doubts, real as they may be, are not the real issue.  A number of years ago, I went through a pretty rough time with ending a relationship.  Some of you may remember it.  As a way to cope with the flood of emotions (depression, anxiety...) I foolishly accepted a friends' 'gift' of narcotic pain killers as a way to numb those intense feelings and emotions.  Three years later, God help me, I can't seem to let them go.  I have shared this with my priest, but I'm too afraid to share it with my wife and family.  I know they'll be supportive but I can't burden them with this.  My mother has cancer and I'm afraid of what this would do to her emotionally especially since I lost my aunt 2 years ago to drug addiction AND my nephew is himself wrestling with meth addiction.  Friends, I'm scared- really scared.  I want to believe that I can kick this, but I'm scared that I really can't.  I'm scared of what would happen to my mother if she found out.  I have to stop this.  I don't want to live in the dark any longer.  I just don't know exactly what to do from here. 

I know all y'all have your own issues so forgive me for burdening you with this.  But, if you find the time and remember- please pray that God will strengthen and guide me.   
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« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2011, 04:24:50 PM »

Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2011, 04:31:31 PM »

Lord hve mercy +

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« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2011, 04:36:30 PM »


Lord, have mercy!

What seems impossible, is possible with God's help.

May He help you sever your dependency to these drugs, and reinforce your dependency on Him.

Praying for your speedy healing!

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2011, 04:36:43 PM »

Kyrie, eleison!
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« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2011, 04:48:18 PM »

Lord, have mercy on Your Servant!

Seek help. Now.
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« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2011, 05:26:14 PM »

 I'm attending a Narcotics Anonymous meeting this coming week.  To the person who provided the info about NA- THANK YOU.  SERIOUSLY. 
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« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2011, 05:29:38 PM »

Lord, have mercy!

What Father Chris said. Gab, dear, you do need to talk to a therapist-counselor, as soon as possible. No later than tomorrow. Please.
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« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2011, 05:32:30 PM »

Lord, have mercy on your servant. Grant him strength.

Hang in there, Gabriel. I'm sure you will get good advice on how to kick the drugs from the NA. You can beat this.
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« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2011, 05:33:07 PM »

Kyrie eleison.

I know all y'all have your own issues so forgive me for burdening you with this.

This is a very important issue. I will be praying for you.
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« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2011, 06:00:23 PM »

Prayers for sure.

We're in your corner, old buddy.
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« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2011, 06:05:53 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Most Holy Theotokos, pray for us.
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« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2011, 06:32:56 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Some folks can quit on their own. Some can do it through faith. Others through AA/NA. Finally, you have talk therapy or medication assisted counseling. A friend of mine who is a recovering cocaine addict is the pastor of a congregation full of recovering drug addicts and he feels, and all the research backs him up, that you should not rely on one path alone. My recommendation is that you explore medication assisted counseling in addition to NA, and both in conjunction with an intensified prayer/worship life. You can do brother Gabriel, for with the Lord nothing is impossible! Just pray that His will be done and quit worrying about whether you can do this; He will help you, as will His instruments in this struggle--your NA comrades and your counselor.
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« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2011, 06:55:02 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Some folks can quit on their own. Some can do it through faith. Others through AA/NA. Finally, you have talk therapy or medication assisted counseling. A friend of mine who is a recovering cocaine addict is the pastor of a congregation full of recovering drug addicts and he feels, and all the research backs him up, that you should not rely on one path alone. My recommendation is that you explore medication assisted counseling in addition to NA, and both in conjunction with an intensified prayer/worship life. You can do brother Gabriel, for with the Lord nothing is impossible! Just pray that His will be done and quit worrying about whether you can do this; He will help you, as will His instruments in this struggle--your NA comrades and your counselor.

I second this whole heartedly.
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« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2011, 07:30:49 PM »

I third.

Thank you Father God that you never leave us and that you're with Gabriel with every step.
Amen
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« Reply #15 on: October 27, 2011, 09:13:09 PM »

Dear Gabriel, I am a deep believer in a holistic therapy to be effective when it comes to addiction. we are humans and problems such as addiction have aspects that go beyond the apparent  physiological and psychological dependency that we might be struggling with now. so to get to the bottom of the issue that leads to the  coping mechanism, and perhaps learn a new positive way of coping with negative stress in our lives which is essential to heal and sustain our health , to get the human support that we need from those who have walked in the same shoe, or who are like us engaged in the continuous struggle of staying above water, to deal with the physiological and psychological effects of our dependency and to ween ourselves from it in a controlled manner. all these and more require involvement in a holistic therapy. all aspects of our life are affected thus all must be included in the healing processes. therefore do not demand too much of yourself at once that is very unrealistic , yes you are the major player in your healing but not the only player, it is a team work my brother , let the team help you too. get the comprehensive help you need from all. I am saying what has already been said, its just that I was moved by what you said and felt i just need to stress what others have already said. you have this sinner's prayer my brother, with God all things are possible, let him through the team help you my dear.

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2011, 09:56:57 PM »

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2011, 10:14:42 PM »

Lord, have mercy on your servant!

The emotional component is much harder than the physical when dealing with substances in my experience. The physical withdrawl wasn't as hard for me as the emotional "hole" left gaping open when I didn't use substances. And as nice as it would be to fill that hole with God and prayer, it doesn't always work that way. I would highly suggest that you get a counselor recommendation from your priest. Someone that understands Orthodoxy so that they can help you as much as possible. NA is a good start, but I highly suggest counseling 1 on 1 if you can get it.
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« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2011, 10:18:00 PM »

Lord have mercy!

My utmost sympathies to you, as well as my continued prayers. Hang on and I pray that help is on the way.
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« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2011, 10:20:35 PM »

You certainly arent alone.  I know people who have dealt with similar situations.  I will certainly pray for you!
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2011, 02:05:14 AM »

Thank you all for the prayers and kind thoughts.  My wife has been out of town since Friday morning and came back this afternoon.  I finally mustered the courage to tell her what's up.  She was totally accepting of the fact and made it clear that we'll get through it together.  The  withdrawal symptoms are, for me at least, not very pleasant.  I have flu-like symptoms.  I'm extremely restless and sleep doesn't come easily but I feel like sleeping all the time.  I force myself to continue to exercise and lift weights, but it's not easy.  I also find that I get panic attacks.  But the absolute worst thing so far is my anger.  I become highly agitated at the smallest of things.  My poor wife- she's the one who has to suffer.  I don't like being angry, especially since I don't fully understand WHY I'm so angry.  Today I was so angry, I don't even know what about, I just wished my life would end.  I just sat and cried and prayed because I was so unbelievably angry.   I have an appointment with NA this week in addition to seeing a therapist.  If I could just get past the anger I think I'd be doing better.  Anyway, your continued prayers are so appreciated. 
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« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2011, 02:40:24 AM »

I really applaud you for telling your wife. I know that was not easy. I'm so glad that she responded in such a positive way.

I think others here have given you great advice, and it sounds like you are taking all the steps necessary to get the help you need. I'm no psychologist, but I suspect your anger stems in part from the helplessness you feel. I think addiction is especially hard for Christians, because we can't help but to equate it with sin. So we try to "pray our way through it," and we still feel overpowered. Then we start questioning our faith, and even begin to question God.

But addiction is somehow something completely separate from sin. Yes, sin may have led us to our addictive state, but once we are addicted it becomes more than solely a spiritual issue. We can no longer "pray our way through it." As Hiwot said, a holistic approach is required. And knowing you like I think I do, I am confident that you will continue to cultivate your spiritual life as you seek other aspects of treatment and help.

Stop worrying about letting other people down. You are in a fight for your life, and there is no shame in your struggle. If others are "disappointed" in you, then the shame is theirs not yours.

I love you brother, and my prayers are with you.


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« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2011, 02:44:30 AM »

Lord, have mercy on the work of your hands!

Gabriel, I won't bore you with the details, but please know that your story resonates with me personally and, while everyone's suffering is different, you are not alone.

Please let me know if I can do anything for you.
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« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2011, 02:48:50 AM »

Lord have mercy!

Gabriel you have helped me immsensly with the story you shared with me via Private Message about your former ex-fiancee, I definietly know what kind of suffering you are in and I have been there myself. I can't offer any advice nor do I feel even qualified to give it. Know that I will pray for you on your recovery, but also pray for your wife and mother.

Please keep us updated on your situation.
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« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2011, 03:02:42 AM »

I'm so glad you were able to share this with your wife and have her support. We are all battling in our own ways. I truly hope the best for you and your wife. God grant you and your wife strength and love, Gabriel. Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #25 on: October 31, 2011, 07:41:50 AM »

Keep pulling through, Gabriel! Still praying at my little corner of the world.

Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #26 on: October 31, 2011, 08:31:17 AM »

Still praying here, too, Gabriel.  This has been a rough week, but you know. . .you really are worth the effort of prayer and prayer can go on anywhere at any time from the heart no matter what is going on in my life.

Something I learned:  It's progress not perfection.  Every time you fail, you will learn a little more about what caused the failure and a little more about yourself - use those lessons for your benefit of finally getting off for good.  

I've wanted to send you a pm. . .hopefully I can get to it today or at the latest tomorrow. . .but you know how that is.  **sheepish grin**

« Last Edit: October 31, 2011, 08:32:08 AM by quietmorning » Logged

In His Mercy,
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