I apologize for the hyperbole and of course, I can't prove this to be so anymore than I can prove that there is a God. But it's something I've been thinking about the past few weeks.
I'm not a psychologist or relationship counselor so I admit my use of these terms may be off, but have any of you wondered why in the Old Testament God announces that he/she is a jealous God and cannot tolerate us talking to other Gods. Jealousy, from my understanding, is the mark of immaturity. It's not an aspect of real love. At least if we're to believe what we read about love in Corinthians. Thousands of years later, in the New Testament, we have Jesus the Christ telling those of us with a recalcitrant attitude to depart from him because he didn't know us. Is this is yet another aspect of jealousy/immaturity? "Since you didn't love me when you had the chance, I refuse to have anything whatsoever to do with you now." Or maybe rather than being co-dependent, the better word would be narcissist?
Believe me friends, I'm open to differing explanations. In fact, I hope I'm way off.
Good morning, Gabriel,
This is such a good question . . .I think it is a question I hear from a lot of people who begin to understand what co-dependency is - especially if that person is a co-dependent. One of the most significant traits of a co-dependent is that they are abnormally loyal to their addict. . . to the point of harming themselves and destroying their lives.
This is just one of the huge differences between God and a co-dependent. God CAN be absolutely loyal to us without having harming himself or having really ANY effect on His life. So He is the ONLY ONE . . . who can afford to be truly loyal through OUR addictions, or self destructive behaviors - our narcissism. . .and our many many other isms. . .you see. . . after the fall we ALL became addicts. . .we're addicted to this world in one way or another or completely engulfed.
He does not lose His identity in us: In HIS addicts
- losing the identity is the true mark of a co-dependent. . .they are no longer themselves, they lose their identity, but they are a consistent reactive spout at the whim of the addiction. . .constantly reacting to the actions of someone else - never 'responding' to that someone and living their OWN lives in the process of all the crisis, problems and denials the addiction brings to the household.
Please keep in mind the true co-dependent is addicted to the addict. There are many many people out there that truly love their addict and are loyal to their addict, but they are NOT addicted to their addict, they do NOT 'enable.' I've never read or seen any instance where God the Father, God the Son or God the Holy Spirit - where the Holy Trinity ENABLED someone or ENABLES us - He always sets very clear boundaries. "If you do THIS. . .THAT will happen. . .THAT is the consequence." In every example He's ever presented in the Bible I see this and I'm awed. . .I want to be like Him when I grow up.
His boundaries are based in LOVE for the person He is dealing with. He is basically saying each and every time, "If you do this, the consequence is - you will die." If we hang ourselves in a noose, we will die. If we jump off a cliff onto the rocks below, we will die. If we hate our brother and commit murder, we will die.
We often look at the result of sin as a judgment call on God's part. . . as if we are in court and the lawyer is trying to defend by stating that we weren't wrong. . . but the prosecutor has a set case. . .and the judge sentences death.
This is not a death 'sentence' . . .this is a death 'consequence'. Just as in hanging yourself - death is the result. . . if you do this to yourself, the result is: You will kill yourself.
So each and every judgement of the Old and New Testament is the above.
The statement you talk about where those who come up to Him and say "Lord Lord, didn't we do this for you or that for you?" And He says - depart from me, you lawless, I never knew you: Is the direct result of their PRIDE. The action they decided to take at the end after all their 'good works' that they NEVER consulted Him about. They never asked. They never sought after Him. . .hence - He never 'knew' them. To know Jesus is to know the Father, to know the Father is to have eternity. If you don't KNOW Him, you can't HAVE Him. Consequence.
The other part of this statement is the pride of "I deserve". None of us deserve anything. Not one thing. We were paid for by the price of His blood. We cannot do ANYTHING in and of ourselves. If the Holy Spirit withdraws from us, wow... we won't pray. . .we won't seek. . .we will die. . .spiritually. There's nothing worse than that spiritual death. It's dead. There is no life in it. . there is no care in it. . . when it happens to me - and I hope it NEVER happens again. . .it's more than I can bear . . . truly the worst loss.. . worse than all the other losses in my life - I might as well be a psycho or socio path. . .because I don't care what the consequences are and have no aptitude or capacity for love. None. I'm dead.
So they are basically going up to the Throne of the King, standing before Him - the King who became NOTHING so that we might live. . .the King who made Himself naked and weak and the bottom of the dregs so that we might live - and they are saying. . ."heh. . .YOU didn't do jack and not only did you not do jack - but I didn't NEED you to do jack. Look what I did. . . and I did it in YOUR name - so you can't argue with THAT either, can you? I did this in your name, and that in your name. . .and it wouldn't have happened unless YOU THOUGHT I WAS IN GOOD STEAD WITH YOU. - - SO LET ME IN, I DESERVE IT."
Heh. . . but the consequences of sin is death. . .and pride is a huge sin. . . a sneaky pious posing . . . sin.
Pride kills us. . .and He has to kill the pride in most of us . . .so that we might live. The thing is, killing that pride is uber painful. It breaks us. But he'd rather us be in pain. . .than dead.
So, no. . .the Christian God is not co-dependent. He present the healthiest love I've ever seen in my life. Good sound boundaries, pure selfless love. . .and a good healthy identity.
Hope this helps.
Peace to you! Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God - eternal, have mercy on Gabriel with all that he does in every moment of his life that he might love fully and have life and have it in abundance.