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Ninjaly Awesome
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« on: October 05, 2011, 09:52:24 PM »

My wife is having a difficult time finding a patron saint. She wants one that has been through similar circumstances in her life. For instance, she had a very hard home life growing up and was often taken advantage of by friends. Also, she's interested in finding a saint who also has a similar background and was married. She doesn't feel like she can relate at all to women saints who gave up marriage for a life of chastity or who were royalty.
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« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2011, 10:28:20 PM »

Try St. JULIANA OF LAZAREVOV

You can read her story at http://stjuliana.com/the_saints_life.html

She is the patron saint of my grand-daughter and has avery interesting story.

Thomas
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« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2011, 10:51:58 PM »

I've been looking, as well, and had thoughts similar to your wife's.  Interestingly, I discovered St. Juliana of Lazarevov last night also!!  Oh, yes!!  DEFINITELY have her open Thomas' link!! 
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« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2011, 12:35:34 AM »

My wife is having a difficult time finding a patron saint. She wants one that has been through similar circumstances in her life. For instance, she had a very hard home life growing up and was often taken advantage of by friends. Also, she's interested in finding a saint who also has a similar background and was married. She doesn't feel like she can relate at all to women saints who gave up marriage for a life of chastity or who were royalty.

I understand the difficulty you are facing.  It seems that the overwhelming majority of women saints are listed as virgin martyrs, in fact many of the hagiographies of early women saints are so similar the names could be interchangeable.

I have done some research myself and found the titles of a couple of books in the past on married saints, but one of the titles is almost impossible to come by.

I remember that there are a few widowed female saints, as well as some that were monarchs who assisted the Church, but the list is slim.

St. Basil the Great's mother, St. Emily (married to St. Basil the Elder), and his grandmother, St. Macrina the Elder were married female saints who were not royalty.

The fact remains that if anyone hopes to be recognized as a saint after they die (not that anyone would aspire to that status, since it would show a lack of humility), and are members of the laity, (or the married clergy), the chances are almost nil.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2011, 12:39:11 AM by peteprint » Logged
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« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2011, 12:38:55 AM »

Matushka Olga isn't formally canonized, but I love her. My patron saint Xenia of St. Petersburg was married.

There is always St. Anna the mother of the Theotokos.
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« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2011, 01:06:52 AM »

Try St. JULIANA OF LAZAREVOV

You can read her story at http://stjuliana.com/the_saints_life.html

She is the patron saint of my grand-daughter and has avery interesting story.

Thomas

Um... the OP specifically said that his wife can't/doesn't relate to "women saints who gave up marriage for a life of chastity"... which is exactly what St. Juliana did...
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« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2011, 09:29:13 AM »


Um... the OP specifically said that his wife can't/doesn't relate to "women saints who gave up marriage for a life of chastity"... which is exactly what St. Juliana did...


Actually what the article says is "Ten years after she and her husband suspended their marital relations, Juliana's husband died. When she had buried and commemorated him according to custom, as she had her husband's parents, the merciful Juliana gave herself over wholly to the service of God and the poor."

They remained married without sexual activity. They stayed together until his death --- man and wife  mutually agreeing to live as brother and sister. Their  relationship intact in all other areas and probably to the world with no apparrent change in their relationship. I know many couples who, in their aging and marital process, have entered this state without entering  a monastery and eschewing their marriage in or out of the Orthodox Church. As far as chastity, one may remain chaste within marriage even with sexual activity as long as one has sexual activity with one's spouse, one may also abstain from sexual activity and still remain married.

St Juliana is a good example of one who does not break the marriage bond but in obedience remains in her marriage until the repose of her spouse but sought no other marriage after he husband's repose.

Thomas

« Last Edit: October 07, 2011, 09:08:01 AM by Thomas » Logged

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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2011, 12:37:12 PM »

St. Monica prayed for St. Augustine for a long time before the latter converted. If you want someone who knows about a difficult family life, there's one.  Smiley
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« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2011, 12:50:54 PM »

There's Saint Ruth you can read a bit about her story here http://www.comeandseeicons.com/r/phn91.htm and see the Icon of her
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« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2011, 02:24:11 AM »

selam
well I do not know if she will relate to the husband and wife St. Priscilla and Aquila, they have been among my favorite saints, I always wondered what it must be like to have st Paul in their home and learn directly from him and assist him with everything they could, and help st Apollos find the faith etc. notice how St. Priscilla is mentioned first, and how often st. Paul mentions her, she certainly was an incredible woman. well for all couples out there they are great examples from all aspects of life in the Faith.
selam hunu.
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« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2011, 11:51:16 AM »

Hey guys.

I don't think my wife would want St. Juliana as her patron saint because she practiced abstinence in marriage. I'll let her know about St. Monica and St. Priscilla and see what she thinks.

Also, she doesn't mind if her patron saint is male and had a lot of difficult and unfair things happen to him. Keep that also in mind in your suggestions.
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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2011, 12:00:00 PM »

That was going to be my questions.  Can women have male patron saints?  I guess they can...

Anyways, it shouldnt be hard to find a saint that had lots of bad an unfair things happen to him as most of the early ones were thrown into fire or martyred somehow.  Even St. Paul had many bad and unfair things happen to him!
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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2011, 12:20:08 PM »

Also, she doesn't mind if her patron saint is male and had a lot of difficult and unfair things happen to him. Keep that also in mind in your suggestions.

A glance at hagiographies will reveal that quite a few saints have difficult and "unfair" things happen to them.  It sounds as if your wife has a pretty restrictive set of criteria.  Perhaps St. Ignatius of Antioch would work.  Was she ever devoured by lions?

I understand that she wants to relate to her patron, but pushing the correlations too far might not be helpful.  I empathize with women on the search though. 

I recommend that she pray to be guided toward her patron, or have her existing patron revealed.  Not that we always have our requests granted, but trying to include someone other than ourselves in the process seems a good idea.     
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« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2011, 01:59:34 PM »

cognomen you are hilarious! laugh
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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2011, 03:08:24 PM »

How about you just look at the calendar whatever day you are received and just pick a name from that day? If she's wanting an extra-special connection with somebody just like her, it's probably not going to happen. Many of us don't have strong connections with our patrons and the idea of personally selecting a patron is a diaspora novelty anyway. Does no part of her name correspond to a saint already? If so she should take that name in humility and move on as that saint has prayed her into the church. If not, like I said just go with the church calendar on the day that she is received. This is traditionally how children's names were decided as well in Orthodoxy, based on the Church calendar.

I found one with my name which was easy enough because my name is Matthew, but otherwise I likely would have gone with the date of reception, at the same time trying to avoid the too-exotic names. As others have noted, there is nothing more obnoxious than a convert insisting on being called Barsanuphius Smith.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2011, 03:11:47 PM by Alveus Lacuna » Logged
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« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2011, 03:11:33 PM »


Um... the OP specifically said that his wife can't/doesn't relate to "women saints who gave up marriage for a life of chastity"... which is exactly what St. Juliana did...


Actually what the article says is "Ten years after she and her husband suspended their marital relations, Juliana's husband died. When she had buried and commemorated him according to custom, as she had her husband's parents, the merciful Juliana gave herself over wholly to the service of God and the poor."

They remained married without sexual activity. They stayed together until his death --- man and wife  mutually agreeing to live as brother and sister. Their  relationship intact in all other areas and probably to the world with no apparrent change in their relationship. I know many couples who, in their aging and marital process, have entered this state without entering  a monastery and eschewing their marriage in or out of the Orthodox Church. As far as chastity, one may remain chaste within marriage even with sexual activity as long as one has sexual activity with one's spouse, one may also abstain from sexual activity and still remain married.

St Juliana is a good example of one who does not break the marriage bond but in obedience remains in her marriage until the repose of her spouse but sought no other marriage after he husband's repose.

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« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2011, 04:47:46 PM »

Maybe it would help to choose a saint, in humility, based on your birth or chrismation date, or even ask your priest to assign you one and realize that over time your relationship will grow with that saint.
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« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2011, 06:50:33 PM »

Try St. JULIANA OF LAZAREVOV

You can read her story at http://stjuliana.com/the_saints_life.html

She is the patron saint of my grand-daughter and has avery interesting story.

Thomas

Righteous Juliana was my wife's choice.
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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2011, 10:36:06 PM »

I second the recommendation of St. Monica and Ruth.

How about St. Felicitas? She was married or widowed, we don't know about her background but considering she was a slave it might have been pretty bad.

Then there's St. Natalia who's husband, St. Adrian was martyred. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrian_and_Natalia_of_Nicomedia

How about St. Theodora, Justinian's wife? Although she became royalty, considering that she was an actress/prostitute beforehand, she definitely had a difficult background.
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