I am, however, very wary of doing just that. And because of that apprehension, I ask myself again, "Can I put up with this?". I've always told myself yes, because I love Miranda, but I really don't know if I can handle the mother-in-law.
PLEASE pray for me.
Schultz.
You will be in my prayers,
I also hope you will forgive me for offering advice when you did not ask...but I have a lot of experience with in-laws.
1.) You do not marry a person but rather a family. If you are not comfortable (or even tolerable and polite) with Miranda's family, then your marriage is in trouble before it begins. Some tension and discord is normal -- perhaps even healthy....but when the negatives overwhelm the positive you need to be very careful.
2.) If Miranda is very close to her mother you need to decide if your relationship will survive her mother's presence (spiritual and/or physical). More than one marriage has crumbled due to a child not being able to break away from his/her parent(s) to make a life with his/her spouse. Has Miranda broken away yet? Do you think she will or are you only hoping she will?
3.) If Miranda is willing to or has already "cut the apron strings" so to say...if she views her mother much the way you do, then it will be much easier. If she has not. I would siggest you postpone any marriage plans until she does. Miranda must choose and make concrete steps demonstarting she is serious about wanting to make a life with you. Words alone are not enough. You must be confident she won't be going home to mama's after you two have your first nasty fight as man and wife.
4.) In-laws are usually difficult to deal with. That is why there are so many "in-law" jokes. Remember Miranda is their little girl. Perhaps in their eyes no man is good enough for her? Always try to imagine yourself in their position whenever you deal with them.
5.) Rarely do people change after a marriage has taken place. Many women mistakenly believe they can change a man with their love. Many people mistakenly believe "that will all change once we are married." Don't believe it. Do not make huge life decisions based on hopes and prayers that others will have a change of heart.
For what it is worth, I strongly believe that most people can find a suitable spouse from among say 20-30 members of the opposite sex. Compatability is important -- but what is more important is committment. You must be confident Miranda will be as committed to the marriage as you will be. And that committment must be absolute.
