personal interpretation :-
the question is, who would you choose if and whenthe price of Loving Him becomes losing the affection of your parents?
who would you choose if and when the price of Loving Him becomes losing the love and good opinion of your friends, your brothers, your sisters, your wife,your husband?
who would you choose if and when the price of Loving Him becomes a choice between preserving your life and dying as the martyrs have done?
the Christian life is a life of battle and the enemy has legions with him that are very experienced warriors the weapon they use are the passions that arise as a result of our attachment to ourselves, others, and the natural world. so how are we going to plan the cost of this warfare? when we know it must be that we must be free of all attachments in order to truly Love.
attachments as the word indicates are chains that can be used against us to weaken our will , to stop us from finishing what we have started to build.
He has given us the commandment of Love, a love that works beyond attachment of our own, He said Love your enemies! Pray to those that persecute you! this is a love that knows no attachment, thus it is truly love that will pass the test of all trials because its foundation is the Love of God.
He commanded to hate even ourselves, this is not a literal human hate that he is commanding, rather it is the turning away from selfish attachment that we have to ourselves, the natural inclination to survive in the face of mortality that encourages us to sin, He wants us to Love so deeply so truly that we will be willing to die to our selfish inclinations and truly be free to truly love under all conditions in a self emptying love.
God is Love! He wants us to Love with out fear, because as the Beloved Apostle says 1John 4:18 'There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.' if we are attached to something or someone even if that someone is ourselves, the fear of losing ourselves in someway will keep us from loving perfectly. if we turn away from all attachments then we are truly free with no fear holding us back from Loving in Truth.
so we come back to understand what kind of love can we feel to those that are created including ourselves? in order to truly love them and ourselves, we must love God above all and if our attachment to them and ourselves distorts and disregards Truth it is not Love it is not healthy and we are harming them and ourselves in the end because falsehood will never become Truth no matter what we do. Therefore we must hate everything that keeps us from the Truth, the Way and the Life, because everythingelse is falsehood, leading astray and its destination is death.
So the One who gave Abraham a son asked him to sacrifice him and Abraham Loved God free of attachments even beyond the Love he had for his beloved Isaac.
So the One who gave the commandment of Love asked us if we relay know what it means to Love without attachment. what it means to Love perfectly.
this is what I personally understand this passage to mean. I hope others will teach us both more on it.