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Author Topic: I messed up my life...help......  (Read 2234 times) Average Rating: 0
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TristanCross
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« on: September 07, 2011, 06:07:01 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 06:07:31 PM by TristanCross » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2011, 06:11:36 PM »

Where do you want to be?
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« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2011, 06:12:34 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2011, 06:28:35 PM »

This is the prayer forum so I won't get too deep.

But your life is not completely screwed up. You are young and you can change your life. Yes, you made a lot of mistakes, but I know that there are people on this board who used (won't name names but maybe they will reach out to you) for years and were able to break that cycle. And for even those of us who didn't use, we have our share of enormous mistakes at that age. You can change, but you need to want to climb out of that hole.

This should be a wake up call of how any drug, even one so "benign" as pot, can disrupt things in your life. I'm sure you know all of this already, though.

God reaches out to the worst of sinners and those of us who have fallen to temptation over and over again. He reaches out to drug addicts, alcoholics, adulterers, fornicators, etc. Seek Him first.

If you are going to college this year, I would suggest signing up to see your college psychologist or counselor. They don't charge anything, from what I know (I had to go at one point because of my horrible living situation). They might be able to help you with the more practical end of it -- not smoking pot, not drinking.

I would suggest going to a priest and talk to him, perhaps about your prayer rule or fasting. He might also have some advice re: the pot and alcohol.

I can't give advice myself on this topic, but you don't have to do this alone. God is there, we are praying (I will say a special prayer for you tonight), we've got a round of saints ready to intercede on your behalf, and I hope that you can find others that will support you.

At the VERY least, I'd stay away from your cousins for a little while...not that they're horrible people, but you are weak and vulnerable to temptation, and you should steer clear from any environments that cause you to fall. This may not be a forever thing (or it may be), but stay strong.


Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.
 
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« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2011, 06:32:26 PM »

First off, you're far too young to have screwed up you life; do not lapse into despair. Never lapse into despair. You'll get other chances. God gives you lots of chances for renewal.

I suspect there is more to this than just taking up bad habits again. This sounds a little too self-punishing. Maybe something set you off. Is there any way you can talk to your priest about this? Or come clean with your parents? Or do you have any friends you can talk to who won't enable you? You need some outside assistance. I would definitely approach your priest.

Otherwise, you just spent the last few days beating yourself up. Stop.

Meantime, Lord have mercy on you.



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« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2011, 06:33:25 PM »

Lord have mercy!! 

Do not give up hope.  If Christ can resurrect from death (which is fairly permanent) then you can resurrect out of your situation (which is fluid & moveable).

Christ be with you. 
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« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2011, 06:59:41 PM »

Lord, have mercy!

Good news is, you are ONLY $40 in debt. Smiley

Don't give up on yourself. You aren't unique. Things happen. The very best of us do get drunk and do spend money on pot. And not only when we are 18.

Very important, I think, is to have an older person whom you trust. Tell him/her about your addictions and ask for help. Talk with this person every day, maybe even more than once a day.

You are in my unworthy prayers. May the Lord, the Most Holy Theotokos, and your Guardian Angel protect you from all harm.
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« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2011, 06:59:56 PM »

Repent and confess your sins to your Priest. Accept his counsel and prescribed penance. Trust in the unfailing mercy of God.

The Cross is bigger than your sins, and God loves you no less than He did before. Read and meditate on the parable of the Prodigal son.

Pray the Jesus Prayer as often as you can.


"Lord have mercy."




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« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2011, 07:26:27 PM »

Lord have mercy!

At 18, you have plenty of time to get it together, Lord willing.
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« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2011, 07:53:56 PM »

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.

Know that I am praying for you.

Please go and talk with your priest. Maybe you can join AAA and seek help there.
At 18, you can still turn a new leaf. Where there is breath, there is hope.
At least you were not arrested, so hopefully you do not have a criminal record yet.

I am praying that you will seek help from your priest and avoid friends that lead you into temptation.

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« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2011, 08:30:23 PM »

Life is never messed up; it's stalled by our mistakes. You are only 18 and apparently know that what you are doing is wrong. That's a great place to start in dealing with this problem. Speak to your priest; he might know of programmes that will help you. Don't despair, I'm much, much older than you and constantly "messing" up.

Lord, have mercy. God grant you strength. 
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« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2011, 08:56:27 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2011, 08:58:39 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Lets see, your 18 years old, $40 in debt, quit your job, got high and drunk and did not get in trouble with the Law.  I know very few people who have not done the same thing or similiar, such as quit there job without any money and rent is due, to go party.  Relax, you can make $40 as a day labor in not time.  The job might be difficult to get but then again at your age most people are working in fast-food restaurants or other such jobs.  Talk to your Priest and someone who will hear you without judging you, it is not the end of the world.

Heck, when I was 18 I quit a job after two weeks because I started dreaming about the job.  Nothing like seeing thousands of cucumbers go by you as you pull stems off during the day and in your sleep.
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« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2011, 09:01:19 PM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Stop.  Breath.  Pray.

 All of our lives here are often quite messed up.  I like to say that the function of Orthodox priests is to keep our heads straight.  Again then, stop, breath, and pray.

You can always go two ways in life, but just like any u-turn, you have to stop to turn around in the right direction.  The drugs or alcohol are just symptoms of your misbehavior, don't confuse them as being the misbehavior itself.  If you do not smoke pot or drink alcohol, you very well may still carry on misbehaving until some event like this again erupts symptomatically to reveal the underlying causes, psychological, emotional, physical, etc etc.

So please take a moment to reflect on your life.  Don't get so caught up in these recent particular events, these have already happened, finished and done with.  Now you have consequences, and it will take the Grace of God to get through both them, and to finish to the sequel and uncover what is really been bothering you.  All of this is of course much to personal for this forum, but you've already confessed quite a bit.  Leave it there, take it now to your priest, to your parents, to your confidants, and in that exact order.  

Work with God to find and heal those wounds with have been bothering you, even subconsciously, and provoking you to this acting out kind of behavior.  Drugs, promiscuity, rebelling against authority, these are all symptomatic behavior of much deeper problems.  By the way, a weekend pot binge and 40 bucks and one job when your 18 are also not too big of fish too fry in the scheme of things, so really, don't get more stressed out about it then you need to. Lets put it into honest perspective, meth and 400 bucks is a bit more dramatic, and even then a workable problem. Also, if anything, getting more stressed may just provoke even more reactive, defensive misbehavior.

 Stop, breath, pray.  God alone can save you, me, and us all.

Stay blessed,
habte selassie
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« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2011, 09:02:19 PM »

Great response, as usual, HabteSelassie!
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« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2011, 09:04:59 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Dude, trust me, you're fine.

You're capable of acknowledging that your behaviours are not always the best thing for your soul: that puts you light years ahead of the majority of your contemporaries, who see nothing wrong with the obscene ways they choose to waste their lives.

Take a breath, say some prayers, maybe talk to your priest, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. That pretty much sums up the entire Christian life, in my opinion.
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« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2011, 09:06:30 PM »

I just don't know what to do.

I'm not going to college. I was gonna go to the Air Force, but I don't really plan on that anymore because of my records of depression and anxiety. So, I have no plans right now. I might go to college next year. I don't know...

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff? I literally have no money. My bank says I have -$24 in my account and I need to pay it back within 30 days. I also have to pay my speeding ticket (which is where my next paycheck is going), give my cousin $100 for helping me get the speeding ticket reduced to a parking ticket, and give my parents $248 for car insurance, cell phone bill, and my cable box...

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.

I seriously just want to die now...
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« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2011, 09:14:16 PM »

Near rocks. Far rocks.

Have a long term goal of where you want to be in a year, or five years. You need a goal.

But short term, it's like eating an elephant (one bite at a time). It looks nuts, but take care of the nearest threat (near rocks). Then you can start clearing the next problem (further rocks).
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« Reply #18 on: September 07, 2011, 09:14:27 PM »

Don't give up. You are not the only person to have made mistakes.

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2011, 09:27:56 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Lets see, your 18 years old, $40 in debt, quit your job, got high and drunk and did not get in trouble with the Law.  I know very few people who have not done the same thing or similiar, such as quit there job without any money and rent is due, to go party.  Relax, you can make $40 as a day labor in not time.  The job might be difficult to get but then again at your age most people are working in fast-food restaurants or other such jobs.  Talk to your Priest and someone who will hear you without judging you, it is not the end of the world.

Heck, when I was 18 I quit a job after two weeks because I started dreaming about the job.  Nothing like seeing thousands of cucumbers go by you as you pull stems off during the day and in your sleep.

Lord have mercy!

And wisdom above.
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« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2011, 09:29:49 PM »

I just don't know what to do.

I'm not going to college. I was gonna go to the Air Force, but I don't really plan on that anymore because of my records of depression and anxiety. So, I have no plans right now. I might go to college next year. I don't know...

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff? I literally have no money. My bank says I have -$24 in my account and I need to pay it back within 30 days. I also have to pay my speeding ticket (which is where my next paycheck is going), give my cousin $100 for helping me get the speeding ticket reduced to a parking ticket, and give my parents $248 for car insurance, cell phone bill, and my cable box...

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.

I seriously just want to die now...

If you would rather live than die, PM me. If you would rather die than live, PM me.
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« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2011, 09:30:50 PM »

Maybe I should mention something:

My parents care about one thing and one thing only: MONEY. Thus, them not getting that $248 in two weeks...well, I'm pretty sure that's gonna piss them off. I have no idea what to do. All I know is that if I don't find another job soon, I'm screwed.
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« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2011, 09:33:05 PM »

Restaurants or temp agencies? They may be of help if you are looking for something in a hurry.
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« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2011, 09:34:19 PM »

It took me a year to get the job I just quit...

Hopefully it doesn't take so long this time  Undecided
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« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2011, 09:37:08 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Tell your parents.
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« Reply #25 on: September 07, 2011, 09:38:02 PM »

It took me a year to get the job I just quit...

Hopefully it doesn't take so long this time  Undecided

It's time to compartmentalize.

Will worrying or beating yourself up help you? What will it accomplish?

Have you got a plan to get out and change course, yet? Probably a better vector for your brain bites.
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« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2011, 09:48:22 PM »

Lord have mercy!

Don't ever give up hope.
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« Reply #27 on: September 07, 2011, 10:15:25 PM »

There is no quick solution to the chronic problem underlying your current crisis. You really need to be in a treatment program. Google "outpatient substance abuse treatment" +the name of your city or metro-area. Follow the program.
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« Reply #28 on: September 07, 2011, 11:36:45 PM »

I seriously just want to die now...

No. You just don't want to feel what you're feeling. Hang in. Besides, everyone knows there's no dying in Christianity.
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« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2011, 12:57:59 AM »

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that this is happening.  Sad

As others have said, don't give up - you are young and have more options than you might think.

Prayers!!
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« Reply #30 on: September 08, 2011, 05:58:40 AM »

Lord have mercy!

Do not despair; you will get yourself to where you need to be should you keep trying, no matter how many times you fall in the process.
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« Reply #31 on: September 08, 2011, 10:22:19 AM »

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff?

Yes. By all means, do tell them everything. I am actually surprised that you haven't already done it. Do tell them now, don't wait another day. That can be something that will really change your life. If not (yes, I realize, parents aren't always helpful, for a variety of reasons), I think you still win by telling them everything. If they turn out to be not helpful, you will say to yourself, "well, at least I tried." And, again, they MIGHT be VERY helpful in your situation.

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.
I seriously just want to die now...

That sounds really sad. Did you talk to a doctor, a medical specialist? Depression is an illness, and, in many cases, it can be treated very successfully. My daughter had a clinical depression when she was 19-20. Her mom and I just dragged her to a doctor, and she received treatment and became well. Right now, she is 27, happily married, a Ph.D. student at Harvard and a very happy person!
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« Reply #32 on: September 08, 2011, 10:45:05 AM »


Lord, have mercy!

Just take it one step at a time.
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« Reply #33 on: September 08, 2011, 11:42:38 PM »

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #34 on: September 08, 2011, 11:47:28 PM »

Some great advice given here. Read through and try to apply to your self.
God willing you will be fine.  Wink


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« Reply #35 on: September 09, 2011, 01:15:04 AM »

Praying.

Don't give up! There are ways to solve this.
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« Reply #36 on: September 15, 2011, 07:12:17 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
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« Reply #37 on: September 15, 2011, 07:14:07 PM »

Lord have mercy.

It's great that you have a priest as well as friends to comfort you and provide guidance. Stay strong. Thank you for the update. Smiley

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #38 on: September 15, 2011, 07:17:44 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Wonderful!  Smiley May God continue to bless you!
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« Reply #39 on: September 15, 2011, 07:25:09 PM »


Excellent!

Glory be to God!

I hope you continue to improve and grow in strength!

Thanks for letting us know!
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« Reply #40 on: September 15, 2011, 07:43:34 PM »

Glory to God!
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« Reply #41 on: September 15, 2011, 08:00:01 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.
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« Reply #42 on: September 15, 2011, 11:13:18 PM »

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.
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« Reply #43 on: September 15, 2011, 11:17:18 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy

I am very happy to hear that, Tristan. Just keep working together with your doctors and with your priest. BOTH. Neither side should have an upper hand. Medicine and religious support do not, cannot, should not exclude or contradict each other.

Also, please believe that you can do it, even if, after a while, you again experience temptations. We rise, and we fall, and we rise again, and we fall again. That's our life. But we gradually, step by little step, learn to be wiser, as we get older, and we acquire, with God's help, some wisdom to resist temptations and to stay afloat.

You are in my unworthy prayers, man.
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« Reply #44 on: September 16, 2011, 12:13:31 AM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.
DISCLAIMER (directed to all reading this post): This forum does not exist to be a source for medical advice. Any advice given here is merely the possibly unqualified opinion of the poster offering it and is not to replace that given by a qualified professional who knows your medical situation and history well. Therefore, if you follow any medical advice given on this forum, you do so at your own risk. The admins and moderators of this forum do not endorse such advice and bear no responsibility for the consequences of following such advice.
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« Reply #45 on: September 16, 2011, 12:15:18 AM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.



There is nothing wrong with taking medication:

Quote
Sirach 38

 1 Honour the physician for the need thou hast of him: for the most High hath created him.

 2 For all healing is from God, and he shall receive gifts of the king.

 3 The skill of the physician shall lift up his head, and in the sight of great men he shall be praised.

 4 The most High hath created medicines out of the earth, and a wise man will not abhor them.

 5 Was not bitter water made sweet with wood?

 6 The virtue of these things is come to the knowledge of men, and the meet High hath given knowledge to men, that he may be honoured in his wonders.

 7 By these he shall cure and shall allay their pains, and of these the apothecary shall make sweet confections, and shall make up ointments of health, and of his works there shall be no end.



http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Sirach+38&version=DRA


Of course prayer and the writings of the saints will do you much good, but God also gave us doctors and the medical sciences.  Use them.
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« Reply #46 on: September 16, 2011, 12:15:36 AM »

I rejoice to hear that things are better! I will actually agree with both Heorhij and Ioannis: Do not reject the advice of your doctors and do not reject the medicine they prescribe. But please make sure that you consult with your Priest and receive his blessing to take these medications. Trust God to use these medications to help you, but do not rely solely on medicine to the exclusion of prayer and the cultivation of your spiritual life. If you keep these things in balance, I am sure you will benefit greatly.


Oh, and I just saw Salpy's post with which I wholeheartedly agree. A wonderful passage from Sirach that is very apropos here!


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« Reply #47 on: September 16, 2011, 12:19:34 AM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy

I am very happy to hear that, Tristan. Just keep working together with your doctors and with your priest. BOTH. Neither side should have an upper hand. Medicine and religious support do not, cannot, should not exclude or contradict each other.

Also, please believe that you can do it, even if, after a while, you again experience temptations. We rise, and we fall, and we rise again, and we fall again. That's our life. But we gradually, step by little step, learn to be wiser, as we get older, and we acquire, with God's help, some wisdom to resist temptations and to stay afloat.

You are in my unworthy prayers, man.




AMEN to everything Heorhij said here!


Selam
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« Reply #48 on: September 16, 2011, 12:26:17 AM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.



There is nothing wrong with taking medication:

Quote
Sirach 38

 1 Honour the physician for the need thou hast of him: for the most High hath created him.

 2 For all healing is from God, and he shall receive gifts of the king.

 3 The skill of the physician shall lift up his head, and in the sight of great men he shall be praised.

 4 The most High hath created medicines out of the earth, and a wise man will not abhor them.

 5 Was not bitter water made sweet with wood?

 6 The virtue of these things is come to the knowledge of men, and the meet High hath given knowledge to men, that he may be honoured in his wonders.

 7 By these he shall cure and shall allay their pains, and of these the apothecary shall make sweet confections, and shall make up ointments of health, and of his works there shall be no end.



http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Sirach+38&version=DRA


Of course prayer and the writings of the saints will do you much good, but God also gave us doctors and the medical sciences.  Use them.
And there is nothing wrong with medication. The problem lies in the type offered by many modern physicians. Consuming poisons (like lithium) can be devastating to the body (either short term or long term). If Tristan so desires, he should seek natural medicines, not pharmaceutical poison.

Either way, we should take this discussion elsewhere if you would like to continue it. I don't think discussion is encouraged in the Prayer Forum.
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« Reply #49 on: September 16, 2011, 12:41:05 AM »

The thread is no longer in the prayer forum.
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« Reply #50 on: September 16, 2011, 12:41:56 AM »

The thread is no longer in the prayer forum.
My apologies, I failed to take notice.
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« Reply #51 on: September 16, 2011, 01:39:35 AM »

God be with you! I'm glad you are doing well and seeking the support of a physical and spiritual physician, both given by the Lord for the benefit of his precious children, which includes you! And ignore Ioannis Climacus, he has zeal not according to knowledge and offers you dangerous advice.  Again, I am thankful to God that you are in a better place.  Our Lord is the lover of mankind and He along with his pure Mother and Angelic Hosts rejoice over your return!
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« Reply #52 on: September 16, 2011, 02:44:14 AM »

And ignore Ioannis Climacus, he has zeal not according to knowledge and offers you dangerous advice.
I do not claim great knowledge, but what little advice I give is beneficial.

Tristan, there are alternative methods to dealing with depression. I pray you will consider them :

http://www.naturalnews.com/028048_depression_remedies.html
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« Reply #53 on: September 16, 2011, 03:05:01 AM »

Selam lekulekemu Smiley
To God be the Glory! I am very glad that you are feeling better and are following the advise of both your priest and your physician, knowing that in both it is God that is at work to heal and strengthen you. The orthodox church has great respect  for the profession of St. Luke the  beloved physician, and even st Paul in dealing with St. Timothy's ailment applied the then physician's remedy by taking from St.Luke's field and used it as necessary.1 Timothy 5:23 Paul prescribes wine for Timothy's illness. let us remembed one plants the other waters, it is God who makes things grow.
Take heed of what Heorhij has said about falling and getting up again, that is what we all do in this life. I remember my grandmother telling me and my friend the story of King David, as an instruction that we must study at school very hard, she always said  one of the reasons Uriah died is because he could not read lol that's another matter, but on her story of king David after she fineshed telling it, she asked us who the sinner in the story was. we answered King David of course, then she asked who is the saint then? still relling from what king David has done to Uriah but knowing of his repentance and Gods love for him enough to call him a man after my own heart, we grudgingly said yeah the Saint is also Kind David. she was happy and explained how this is one example of how merciful God is and how man falls knowingly or unknowingly and yet the important thing is that man repents sincerely and a true repentance is never rejected.

To My dear faithful brother Ioannes Climacus, I understand where you are coming from, however consider, someone is drowning, and prays for God to rescue him, and while still praying a man with a boat comes along and calls to the man drowning to come aboard by grabbing on to the rope he threw for him, yet the drowning man refuses and says no I am waiting for God to save me not man, and then another person on another boat comes, still the man refuses and says only God can save me as I am praying to Him, I have faith that He will come to my aide. so finally the man dies and goes to stand before the Heavenly Throne of God and quite surprised to find himself there he asks Why? why Lord didn't you come when I called for you? when I trusted in you? what do you think the Lord's answer will be?....'I came not once but trice , I brought that man with a small boat, I brought that other man with the big boat, and the fisher man too. yet each time you refused me. so here we are' the lesson of this story.. the Lord gives one of our brethren wisdom that will be for the benefit of our physical, mental emotional health, another brethren might get the wisdom of the Spirit to deal with matters of the Spiritual life.  however in all it is God that works in the life of Christians that trust in Him. and we must be humble enough and thankful enough to utilise the wisdom of the natural world as it is revealed to those that are experts in it, within reason of course. knowing it will not contradict with our faith in God to Provide for us at all times. so we must fervently pray then, that whatever remedy it is, be it wine or that little herb that we drink in our tea  actually work to fulfil the will of God in us for God can use all Matter to heal and transform us.I understand you know all this, and there are times we can be weary of some medications and their side effects, but when the affliction we have now far surpasses the one we might have as a result of the medication, I think all adult persons can make informed decisions about that. and all physicians are required to disclose all the known side effects of all the drugs they prescribe so that the individual can make an informed decision. So my brother these things require caution when we suggest somethings to some. forgive me if I misunderstood your point.

Blessed day

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« Reply #54 on: September 16, 2011, 05:46:42 AM »

And ignore Ioannis Climacus, he has zeal not according to knowledge and offers you dangerous advice.
I do not claim great knowledge, but what little advice I give is beneficial.

Tristan, there are alternative methods to dealing with depression. I pray you will consider them :

http://www.naturalnews.com/028048_depression_remedies.html
You're offering medical advice that you are neither licensed nor qualified to give, and which directly contradicts what Tristan's doctors have been prescribing. Without any knowledge of Tristan's condition, what you are doing is potentially very dangerous. I strongly advise you, therefore, to keep silent on this matter and refrain from offering any more counsel to Tristan regarding what he should do. Again, we on the forum admin/moderator staff do not endorse what you are doing and cannot be held responsible for the consequences of following your advice.
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« Reply #55 on: September 16, 2011, 07:51:23 AM »

OK, I am not a licensed medical practitioner here in the USA, simply because I never took the American board exam. I came to this country in 1990 as a postdoctoral fellow (MD, Ph.D. in Medical Scences) invited by a laboratory engaged in basic research, and I honestly did my work of an experimenter for more than 10 years, followed by another 11.5 years of sharing my knowledge with young folks as a university teacher. So I guess I am at least somewhat qualified to give medical advice, although I always say that those who listen to me must listen to their own medical practitioner.

Ttistan's physician's responsibility is to establish the nature of his patient's depression. Based on the story T. told us on this forum, that can't be done, but physicians (including psychiatrists) have very well-polished skills to do that. It might be a "simple" or "unipolar" depression, where the key event in the pathogenesis is, usually, a lack of serotonin in spaces ("synapses") between neurons. Alternatively, it might be a "bipolar disorder," where the pathognesis is more complicated. In the first case, no lithium is necessary: unipolar depressions are usually treated by inhibitors of serotonin re-uptake. In the second case, lithium could be given, although it is not the only type of medication doctors now have at their disposal (others are "timoleptics" like Melleril or Depakote). Lithium salts are very powerful at controlling the mood in patients with bipolar disorder, but they, unfortunately, have some rather nasty side effects; if taken for a long time, they can make the patient gain weight and lose body fluid sodium. However, medical practitioners know it very well, and it's obvious that they will give Tristan the right medcation in the right dose and for the right amount of time.

Various "natural" medicines, of course, CAN help some patients, especially those who have conditions like hysteria, neurasthenia or psychasthenia (which may well mimic symptoms of unipolar or bipolar depression). However, we need to understand two things. First, clinical depression is something very different from these conditions, and it is hard to imagine that taking some herbal medicine will efficiently change the brain chemistry responsible for depressive disorders. If that were the case, such medications would be already patented and marketed by pharmaceutical companies. Second, drugs like Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, lithium salts and other similar drugs prescribed by licensed physicians have passed the so-called "double blind clinical trials," where their effect was thoroughly evaluated in comparison with the effect of the so-called "placebo." Can we be sure that the same is true for the various "natural" drugs offered by random individuals (even if these individuals are physicians)? There is always a danger of merely anecdotal experience, rather than solid statistics, being the foundation of such offer.

This topic is very emotional one to me. In 1996, my father, then just 65 years old and not suffering from any serious somatic disease, suddenly committed suicide. Retrospectively, it became clear that he had a very severe depression (most likely unipolar). Because he posessed a wonderful, cheerful, outgoing, caring disposition, and because he did not want to bother others by his problems, he hid his condition as deeply as he could; yet, when he was already dead, I re-read some of his letters addressed to me and my wife, and saw that the man was indeed very ill. If he were given the adequate medical care back then, he mos definitely culd be stll alive today. Also, as I have already written, my now 27-y.o. daughter had an episode of depression in her late teens; luckily, in her case, the medication and the psychological counseling were given at the right time, and she was cured. I shudder when I think, just what would happen to her if someone advised her not to listen to "psychiatrists" in quotationmarks, and she heeded such an advice. Very likely, she would be dead soon.

  
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« Reply #56 on: September 16, 2011, 08:24:11 AM »

You're offering medical advice that you are neither licensed nor qualified to give,

Not to mention that it's complete BS.



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« Reply #57 on: September 16, 2011, 12:15:44 PM »

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.

Don't worry, I'm sticking to the medication and therapy despite what other people would rather me do.  Smiley
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« Reply #58 on: September 16, 2011, 12:18:51 PM »

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.

Don't worry, I'm sticking to the medication and therapy despite what other people would rather me do.  Smiley

An excellent idea! As you said earlier, it seems to be working for you, so don't try to fix what ain't broke.
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« Reply #59 on: September 16, 2011, 12:19:19 PM »

And ignore Ioannis Climacus, he has zeal not according to knowledge and offers you dangerous advice.
I do not claim great knowledge, but what little advice I give is beneficial.

Tristan, there are alternative methods to dealing with depression. I pray you will consider them :

http://www.naturalnews.com/028048_depression_remedies.html

You sound like a Christian Scientist. Should my dad stop taking his Leukemia medication so that he can seek "natural" remedies?
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« Reply #60 on: September 16, 2011, 12:22:45 PM »

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.

Don't worry, I'm sticking to the medication and therapy despite what other people would rather me do.  Smiley

An excellent idea! As you said earlier, it seems to be working for you, so don't try to fix what ain't broke.

Amen, Father!  Kiss
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« Reply #61 on: September 16, 2011, 12:32:24 PM »

Amen!  Praise God! Smiley

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.

Don't worry, I'm sticking to the medication and therapy despite what other people would rather me do.  Smiley

An excellent idea! As you said earlier, it seems to be working for you, so don't try to fix what ain't broke.

Amen, Father!  Kiss
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« Reply #62 on: September 16, 2011, 01:23:32 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy

If you know of someone who has a copy of Matthew the Poor's "Communion of Love," ask to borrow it and read his chapter on Repentance. It was for sinners like us that Christ became incarnate. His strength is for the weak and helpless, His right arm for the fallen. Personally, I find this chapter so encouraging and you may too.
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« Reply #63 on: September 16, 2011, 05:42:54 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy

If you know of someone who has a copy of Matthew the Poor's "Communion of Love," ask to borrow it and read his chapter on Repentance. It was for sinners like us that Christ became incarnate. His strength is for the weak and helpless, His right arm for the fallen. Personally, I find this chapter so encouraging and you may too.

Just found it on Google Books. Thanks Smiley
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« Reply #64 on: September 19, 2011, 11:08:59 PM »

And ignore Ioannis Climacus, he has zeal not according to knowledge and offers you dangerous advice.
I do not claim great knowledge, but what little advice I give is beneficial.

Tristan, there are alternative methods to dealing with depression. I pray you will consider them :

http://www.naturalnews.com/028048_depression_remedies.html

You sound like a Christian Scientist. Should my dad stop taking his Leukemia medication so that he can seek "natural" remedies?
I couldn't tell you, as I know nothing about the Leukemia medication, nor do I possess any knowledge in this field. My gut instinct would be yes, but I would consult an expert (that is, a homeopathic doctor).

The reasons I offered my advice were twofold. One, pharmaceuticals are often detrimental to long term health, and two, there are numerous cases of people being driven to suicide while on anti-depressant drugs. I am not saying you would do such a thing, but the side effects of these drugs should at least raise some concern.

In any event, I am glad you are doing better  Smiley. I will keep you in my prayers.
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« Reply #65 on: September 26, 2011, 11:21:13 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Wow, what advice can I possibly tell you.   Let me let you walk in my shoes for a day.

1) Wake up 6am
2) Shower under the solar water heated water that I built still warm from the day before
3) Get dressed as quickly as possible & hygene etc.
4) Call kids downstairs (all 5 of them)
5) Cut them some fresh home made wheat bread & honey - put on laundry & dishes
6) Take all the organic superfoods
7) Run upstairs to the office / classroom
Cool Fire up the main server while wife is eating with the kids
9) Call kids up and have them PXE boot into the server
10) Wife comes in and starts homeschooling them while I work.
11) Work till lunch.  Wife teaches the kids till lunch.
12) Run downstairs and make lunch ( a chef is an alter ego of mine).  This is lunch for 7 people.  Fresh everything including having to slice bread.
13) Eat lunch - then exchange dishes & laundry, have kids line dry clothes
14) Run back up stairs and start working till 3pm.  Kids come up and start doing school.
15) Run down at 3pm.  Start prepping dinner & heating the solar oven.  Get dinner & new bread cooking for next day.
16) Set table, give thanks, eat dinner, tell kids to do chores
17) Family time, reading, story telling, bible stories, bible trivia etc.
18) Get kids ready for bed. 
19) Get kids ready for bed some more (we are working on this LOL)
20) Final chores of the day.  Desserts, bedtime, final cleaning, maint...

Okay that's all just a rough outline.  I don't mention all the oddball stuff like keeping track of kids rooms & how clean they keep them, raising them in Christ, what size clothing did they need, son needs shoes again??, wife sewing dresses, lawn maint, car maint, house maint, paint, plumbing, keeping chickens....  Trust me I can go on.

My point to this - It hurts me to hear you do that.    Get stoned, drunk, puke, debt, quit.

I'm not perfect.  My life is crazy in many ways.  Heck I'm known a lot around here is somebody with "deep Orthodox faith issues".  Still though, my friend, STRAIGHTEN UP.

Girls your age are seeking men.  Real men.  Men who will be with them forever and who have it together.  You are 18 now.  Learn a good trade if you don't know what else to do.  A/C repair, furnace repair, truck driving, carpet cleaning, painting.  Learn, learn and keep LEARNING.   Marry a strong Christian woman who will let you lead her through life as Christ leads you.

Forget any more drugs.  Forget alcohol.  Honor the TEMPLE of the HOLY SPIRIT!  Eat superfoods (youtube them).  Become healthy.  Strive to keep yourself in good shape and disciplined Christ centered mind so that God will guide you to do his work forever.

Satan wants to drag  us all down to hell.  trust  me I know.  I was moshing at Pantera concerts at 18.  I was near people all the time smoking pot, drinking, and doing drugs. (never did them myself though).   But still my mind was twisted by the music and modernism of everything.

Change now.  Pray for change. Don't let any peer pressure affect you any more.  Remember each sin is striking Christ.  Remember that hurting your body is blaspheming your temple.

God Bless
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« Reply #66 on: September 27, 2011, 01:36:26 AM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Wow, what advice can I possibly tell you.   Let me let you walk in my shoes for a day.

1) Wake up 6am
2) Shower under the solar water heated water that I built still warm from the day before
3) Get dressed as quickly as possible & hygene etc.
4) Call kids downstairs (all 5 of them)
5) Cut them some fresh home made wheat bread & honey - put on laundry & dishes
6) Take all the organic superfoods
7) Run upstairs to the office / classroom
Cool Fire up the main server while wife is eating with the kids
9) Call kids up and have them PXE boot into the server
10) Wife comes in and starts homeschooling them while I work.
11) Work till lunch.  Wife teaches the kids till lunch.
12) Run downstairs and make lunch ( a chef is an alter ego of mine).  This is lunch for 7 people.  Fresh everything including having to slice bread.
13) Eat lunch - then exchange dishes & laundry, have kids line dry clothes
14) Run back up stairs and start working till 3pm.  Kids come up and start doing school.
15) Run down at 3pm.  Start prepping dinner & heating the solar oven.  Get dinner & new bread cooking for next day.
16) Set table, give thanks, eat dinner, tell kids to do chores
17) Family time, reading, story telling, bible stories, bible trivia etc.
18) Get kids ready for bed. 
19) Get kids ready for bed some more (we are working on this LOL)
20) Final chores of the day.  Desserts, bedtime, final cleaning, maint...

Okay that's all just a rough outline.  I don't mention all the oddball stuff like keeping track of kids rooms & how clean they keep them, raising them in Christ, what size clothing did they need, son needs shoes again??, wife sewing dresses, lawn maint, car maint, house maint, paint, plumbing, keeping chickens....  Trust me I can go on.

My point to this - It hurts me to hear you do that.    Get stoned, drunk, puke, debt, quit.

I'm not perfect.  My life is crazy in many ways.  Heck I'm known a lot around here is somebody with "deep Orthodox faith issues".  Still though, my friend, STRAIGHTEN UP.

Girls your age are seeking men.  Real men.  Men who will be with them forever and who have it together.  You are 18 now.  Learn a good trade if you don't know what else to do.  A/C repair, furnace repair, truck driving, carpet cleaning, painting.  Learn, learn and keep LEARNING.   Marry a strong Christian woman who will let you lead her through life as Christ leads you.

Forget any more drugs.  Forget alcohol.  Honor the TEMPLE of the HOLY SPIRIT!  Eat superfoods (youtube them).  Become healthy.  Strive to keep yourself in good shape and disciplined Christ centered mind so that God will guide you to do his work forever.

Satan wants to drag  us all down to hell.  trust  me I know.  I was moshing at Pantera concerts at 18.  I was near people all the time smoking pot, drinking, and doing drugs. (never did them myself though).   But still my mind was twisted by the music and modernism of everything.

Change now.  Pray for change. Don't let any peer pressure affect you any more.  Remember each sin is striking Christ.  Remember that hurting your body is blaspheming your temple.

God Bless


I appreciate this advice, and I don't mean to criticize it. However, we have to understand that not everyone is able to do all the wonderful, difficult, and noble things that you are doing. I can tell that you are sacrificing a lot and working hard to lead your family in the best possible spiritual life. But many people struggle with psychological and physical issues that preclude them from following such a rigorous schedule. But I certainly agree that we should all strive to be as physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy as posssible. I guess I just want to make sure that others don't feel they have to do what you're doing and exactly as you're doing it. And I know that's not what you said at all. Just want to be careful here.


Selam
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« Reply #67 on: September 27, 2011, 11:26:34 AM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Wow, what advice can I possibly tell you.   Let me let you walk in my shoes for a day.

1) Wake up 6am
2) Shower under the solar water heated water that I built still warm from the day before
3) Get dressed as quickly as possible & hygene etc.
4) Call kids downstairs (all 5 of them)
5) Cut them some fresh home made wheat bread & honey - put on laundry & dishes
6) Take all the organic superfoods
7) Run upstairs to the office / classroom
Cool Fire up the main server while wife is eating with the kids
9) Call kids up and have them PXE boot into the server
10) Wife comes in and starts homeschooling them while I work.
11) Work till lunch.  Wife teaches the kids till lunch.
12) Run downstairs and make lunch ( a chef is an alter ego of mine).  This is lunch for 7 people.  Fresh everything including having to slice bread.
13) Eat lunch - then exchange dishes & laundry, have kids line dry clothes
14) Run back up stairs and start working till 3pm.  Kids come up and start doing school.
15) Run down at 3pm.  Start prepping dinner & heating the solar oven.  Get dinner & new bread cooking for next day.
16) Set table, give thanks, eat dinner, tell kids to do chores
17) Family time, reading, story telling, bible stories, bible trivia etc.
18) Get kids ready for bed. 
19) Get kids ready for bed some more (we are working on this LOL)
20) Final chores of the day.  Desserts, bedtime, final cleaning, maint...

Okay that's all just a rough outline.  I don't mention all the oddball stuff like keeping track of kids rooms & how clean they keep them, raising them in Christ, what size clothing did they need, son needs shoes again??, wife sewing dresses, lawn maint, car maint, house maint, paint, plumbing, keeping chickens....  Trust me I can go on.

My point to this - It hurts me to hear you do that.    Get stoned, drunk, puke, debt, quit.

I'm not perfect.  My life is crazy in many ways.  Heck I'm known a lot around here is somebody with "deep Orthodox faith issues".  Still though, my friend, STRAIGHTEN UP.

Girls your age are seeking men.  Real men.  Men who will be with them forever and who have it together.  You are 18 now.  Learn a good trade if you don't know what else to do.  A/C repair, furnace repair, truck driving, carpet cleaning, painting.  Learn, learn and keep LEARNING.   Marry a strong Christian woman who will let you lead her through life as Christ leads you.

Forget any more drugs.  Forget alcohol.  Honor the TEMPLE of the HOLY SPIRIT!  Eat superfoods (youtube them).  Become healthy.  Strive to keep yourself in good shape and disciplined Christ centered mind so that God will guide you to do his work forever.

Satan wants to drag  us all down to hell.  trust  me I know.  I was moshing at Pantera concerts at 18.  I was near people all the time smoking pot, drinking, and doing drugs. (never did them myself though).   But still my mind was twisted by the music and modernism of everything.

Change now.  Pray for change. Don't let any peer pressure affect you any more.  Remember each sin is striking Christ.  Remember that hurting your body is blaspheming your temple.

God Bless


I appreciate this advice, and I don't mean to criticize it. However, we have to understand that not everyone is able to do all the wonderful, difficult, and noble things that you are doing. I can tell that you are sacrificing a lot and working hard to lead your family in the best possible spiritual life. But many people struggle with psychological and physical issues that preclude them from following such a rigorous schedule. But I certainly agree that we should all strive to be as physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy as posssible. I guess I just want to make sure that others don't feel they have to do what you're doing and exactly as you're doing it. And I know that's not what you said at all. Just want to be careful here.


Selam


I do understand this and of course I was not trying to sound boastful.

I just can't imagine smoking pot, drinking until throwing up etc.   Mainly I guess in a kind way I'm trying to encourage you to get BUSY doing SOMETHING.   First get right with God and humble yourself before him.  Then get busy doing some kind of trade.  Learn something & do something.   

There's an old saying "idle hands are the devil's playground".
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« Reply #68 on: October 03, 2011, 02:38:04 AM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Wow, what advice can I possibly tell you.   Let me let you walk in my shoes for a day.

1) Wake up 6am
2) Shower under the solar water heated water that I built still warm from the day before
3) Get dressed as quickly as possible & hygene etc.
4) Call kids downstairs (all 5 of them)
5) Cut them some fresh home made wheat bread & honey - put on laundry & dishes
6) Take all the organic superfoods
7) Run upstairs to the office / classroom
Cool Fire up the main server while wife is eating with the kids
9) Call kids up and have them PXE boot into the server
10) Wife comes in and starts homeschooling them while I work.
11) Work till lunch.  Wife teaches the kids till lunch.
12) Run downstairs and make lunch ( a chef is an alter ego of mine).  This is lunch for 7 people.  Fresh everything including having to slice bread.
13) Eat lunch - then exchange dishes & laundry, have kids line dry clothes
14) Run back up stairs and start working till 3pm.  Kids come up and start doing school.
15) Run down at 3pm.  Start prepping dinner & heating the solar oven.  Get dinner & new bread cooking for next day.
16) Set table, give thanks, eat dinner, tell kids to do chores
17) Family time, reading, story telling, bible stories, bible trivia etc.
18) Get kids ready for bed. 
19) Get kids ready for bed some more (we are working on this LOL)
20) Final chores of the day.  Desserts, bedtime, final cleaning, maint...

Okay that's all just a rough outline.  I don't mention all the oddball stuff like keeping track of kids rooms & how clean they keep them, raising them in Christ, what size clothing did they need, son needs shoes again??, wife sewing dresses, lawn maint, car maint, house maint, paint, plumbing, keeping chickens....  Trust me I can go on.

My point to this - It hurts me to hear you do that.    Get stoned, drunk, puke, debt, quit.

I'm not perfect.  My life is crazy in many ways.  Heck I'm known a lot around here is somebody with "deep Orthodox faith issues".  Still though, my friend, STRAIGHTEN UP.

Girls your age are seeking men.  Real men.  Men who will be with them forever and who have it together.  You are 18 now.  Learn a good trade if you don't know what else to do.  A/C repair, furnace repair, truck driving, carpet cleaning, painting.  Learn, learn and keep LEARNING.   Marry a strong Christian woman who will let you lead her through life as Christ leads you.

Forget any more drugs.  Forget alcohol.  Honor the TEMPLE of the HOLY SPIRIT!  Eat superfoods (youtube them).  Become healthy.  Strive to keep yourself in good shape and disciplined Christ centered mind so that God will guide you to do his work forever.

Satan wants to drag  us all down to hell.  trust  me I know.  I was moshing at Pantera concerts at 18.  I was near people all the time smoking pot, drinking, and doing drugs. (never did them myself though).   But still my mind was twisted by the music and modernism of everything.

Change now.  Pray for change. Don't let any peer pressure affect you any more.  Remember each sin is striking Christ.  Remember that hurting your body is blaspheming your temple.

God Bless


I appreciate this advice, and I don't mean to criticize it. However, we have to understand that not everyone is able to do all the wonderful, difficult, and noble things that you are doing. I can tell that you are sacrificing a lot and working hard to lead your family in the best possible spiritual life. But many people struggle with psychological and physical issues that preclude them from following such a rigorous schedule. But I certainly agree that we should all strive to be as physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy as posssible. I guess I just want to make sure that others don't feel they have to do what you're doing and exactly as you're doing it. And I know that's not what you said at all. Just want to be careful here.


Selam


I do understand this and of course I was not trying to sound boastful.

I just can't imagine smoking pot, drinking until throwing up etc.   Mainly I guess in a kind way I'm trying to encourage you to get BUSY doing SOMETHING.   First get right with God and humble yourself before him.  Then get busy doing some kind of trade.  Learn something & do something.   

There's an old saying "idle hands are the devil's playground".


You didn't sound boastful to me, and I certainly agree with your advice here. Pray, read, write, learn a musical instrument, learn a trade, find some good Christian fellowship, etc. Anything postive that will keep you from feeling the need to indulge in destructive behaviours and habits. Amen to that.


Selam
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"There are two great tragedies: one is to live a life ruled by the passions, and the other is to live a passionless life."
Selam, +GMK+
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