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Author Topic: I messed up my life...help......  (Read 2101 times) Average Rating: 0
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TristanCross
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« on: September 07, 2011, 06:07:01 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 06:07:31 PM by TristanCross » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2011, 06:11:36 PM »

Where do you want to be?
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« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2011, 06:12:34 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2011, 06:28:35 PM »

This is the prayer forum so I won't get too deep.

But your life is not completely screwed up. You are young and you can change your life. Yes, you made a lot of mistakes, but I know that there are people on this board who used (won't name names but maybe they will reach out to you) for years and were able to break that cycle. And for even those of us who didn't use, we have our share of enormous mistakes at that age. You can change, but you need to want to climb out of that hole.

This should be a wake up call of how any drug, even one so "benign" as pot, can disrupt things in your life. I'm sure you know all of this already, though.

God reaches out to the worst of sinners and those of us who have fallen to temptation over and over again. He reaches out to drug addicts, alcoholics, adulterers, fornicators, etc. Seek Him first.

If you are going to college this year, I would suggest signing up to see your college psychologist or counselor. They don't charge anything, from what I know (I had to go at one point because of my horrible living situation). They might be able to help you with the more practical end of it -- not smoking pot, not drinking.

I would suggest going to a priest and talk to him, perhaps about your prayer rule or fasting. He might also have some advice re: the pot and alcohol.

I can't give advice myself on this topic, but you don't have to do this alone. God is there, we are praying (I will say a special prayer for you tonight), we've got a round of saints ready to intercede on your behalf, and I hope that you can find others that will support you.

At the VERY least, I'd stay away from your cousins for a little while...not that they're horrible people, but you are weak and vulnerable to temptation, and you should steer clear from any environments that cause you to fall. This may not be a forever thing (or it may be), but stay strong.


Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.
 
« Last Edit: September 07, 2011, 06:29:29 PM by IsmiLiora » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2011, 06:32:26 PM »

First off, you're far too young to have screwed up you life; do not lapse into despair. Never lapse into despair. You'll get other chances. God gives you lots of chances for renewal.

I suspect there is more to this than just taking up bad habits again. This sounds a little too self-punishing. Maybe something set you off. Is there any way you can talk to your priest about this? Or come clean with your parents? Or do you have any friends you can talk to who won't enable you? You need some outside assistance. I would definitely approach your priest.

Otherwise, you just spent the last few days beating yourself up. Stop.

Meantime, Lord have mercy on you.



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« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2011, 06:33:25 PM »

Lord have mercy!! 

Do not give up hope.  If Christ can resurrect from death (which is fairly permanent) then you can resurrect out of your situation (which is fluid & moveable).

Christ be with you. 
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« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2011, 06:59:41 PM »

Lord, have mercy!

Good news is, you are ONLY $40 in debt. Smiley

Don't give up on yourself. You aren't unique. Things happen. The very best of us do get drunk and do spend money on pot. And not only when we are 18.

Very important, I think, is to have an older person whom you trust. Tell him/her about your addictions and ask for help. Talk with this person every day, maybe even more than once a day.

You are in my unworthy prayers. May the Lord, the Most Holy Theotokos, and your Guardian Angel protect you from all harm.
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« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2011, 06:59:56 PM »

Repent and confess your sins to your Priest. Accept his counsel and prescribed penance. Trust in the unfailing mercy of God.

The Cross is bigger than your sins, and God loves you no less than He did before. Read and meditate on the parable of the Prodigal son.

Pray the Jesus Prayer as often as you can.


"Lord have mercy."




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« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2011, 07:26:27 PM »

Lord have mercy!

At 18, you have plenty of time to get it together, Lord willing.
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« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2011, 07:53:56 PM »

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.

Know that I am praying for you.

Please go and talk with your priest. Maybe you can join AAA and seek help there.
At 18, you can still turn a new leaf. Where there is breath, there is hope.
At least you were not arrested, so hopefully you do not have a criminal record yet.

I am praying that you will seek help from your priest and avoid friends that lead you into temptation.

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« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2011, 08:30:23 PM »

Life is never messed up; it's stalled by our mistakes. You are only 18 and apparently know that what you are doing is wrong. That's a great place to start in dealing with this problem. Speak to your priest; he might know of programmes that will help you. Don't despair, I'm much, much older than you and constantly "messing" up.

Lord, have mercy. God grant you strength. 
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« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2011, 08:56:27 PM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2011, 08:58:39 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Lets see, your 18 years old, $40 in debt, quit your job, got high and drunk and did not get in trouble with the Law.  I know very few people who have not done the same thing or similiar, such as quit there job without any money and rent is due, to go party.  Relax, you can make $40 as a day labor in not time.  The job might be difficult to get but then again at your age most people are working in fast-food restaurants or other such jobs.  Talk to your Priest and someone who will hear you without judging you, it is not the end of the world.

Heck, when I was 18 I quit a job after two weeks because I started dreaming about the job.  Nothing like seeing thousands of cucumbers go by you as you pull stems off during the day and in your sleep.
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« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2011, 09:01:19 PM »

Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Stop.  Breath.  Pray.

 All of our lives here are often quite messed up.  I like to say that the function of Orthodox priests is to keep our heads straight.  Again then, stop, breath, and pray.

You can always go two ways in life, but just like any u-turn, you have to stop to turn around in the right direction.  The drugs or alcohol are just symptoms of your misbehavior, don't confuse them as being the misbehavior itself.  If you do not smoke pot or drink alcohol, you very well may still carry on misbehaving until some event like this again erupts symptomatically to reveal the underlying causes, psychological, emotional, physical, etc etc.

So please take a moment to reflect on your life.  Don't get so caught up in these recent particular events, these have already happened, finished and done with.  Now you have consequences, and it will take the Grace of God to get through both them, and to finish to the sequel and uncover what is really been bothering you.  All of this is of course much to personal for this forum, but you've already confessed quite a bit.  Leave it there, take it now to your priest, to your parents, to your confidants, and in that exact order.  

Work with God to find and heal those wounds with have been bothering you, even subconsciously, and provoking you to this acting out kind of behavior.  Drugs, promiscuity, rebelling against authority, these are all symptomatic behavior of much deeper problems.  By the way, a weekend pot binge and 40 bucks and one job when your 18 are also not too big of fish too fry in the scheme of things, so really, don't get more stressed out about it then you need to. Lets put it into honest perspective, meth and 400 bucks is a bit more dramatic, and even then a workable problem. Also, if anything, getting more stressed may just provoke even more reactive, defensive misbehavior.

 Stop, breath, pray.  God alone can save you, me, and us all.

Stay blessed,
habte selassie
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« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2011, 09:02:19 PM »

Great response, as usual, HabteSelassie!
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« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2011, 09:04:59 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Dude, trust me, you're fine.

You're capable of acknowledging that your behaviours are not always the best thing for your soul: that puts you light years ahead of the majority of your contemporaries, who see nothing wrong with the obscene ways they choose to waste their lives.

Take a breath, say some prayers, maybe talk to your priest, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. That pretty much sums up the entire Christian life, in my opinion.
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« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2011, 09:06:30 PM »

I just don't know what to do.

I'm not going to college. I was gonna go to the Air Force, but I don't really plan on that anymore because of my records of depression and anxiety. So, I have no plans right now. I might go to college next year. I don't know...

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff? I literally have no money. My bank says I have -$24 in my account and I need to pay it back within 30 days. I also have to pay my speeding ticket (which is where my next paycheck is going), give my cousin $100 for helping me get the speeding ticket reduced to a parking ticket, and give my parents $248 for car insurance, cell phone bill, and my cable box...

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.

I seriously just want to die now...
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« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2011, 09:14:16 PM »

Near rocks. Far rocks.

Have a long term goal of where you want to be in a year, or five years. You need a goal.

But short term, it's like eating an elephant (one bite at a time). It looks nuts, but take care of the nearest threat (near rocks). Then you can start clearing the next problem (further rocks).
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« Reply #18 on: September 07, 2011, 09:14:27 PM »

Don't give up. You are not the only person to have made mistakes.

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2011, 09:27:56 PM »

i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed

i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed

what am i supposed to do? im so lost!

Lets see, your 18 years old, $40 in debt, quit your job, got high and drunk and did not get in trouble with the Law.  I know very few people who have not done the same thing or similiar, such as quit there job without any money and rent is due, to go party.  Relax, you can make $40 as a day labor in not time.  The job might be difficult to get but then again at your age most people are working in fast-food restaurants or other such jobs.  Talk to your Priest and someone who will hear you without judging you, it is not the end of the world.

Heck, when I was 18 I quit a job after two weeks because I started dreaming about the job.  Nothing like seeing thousands of cucumbers go by you as you pull stems off during the day and in your sleep.

Lord have mercy!

And wisdom above.
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« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2011, 09:29:49 PM »

I just don't know what to do.

I'm not going to college. I was gonna go to the Air Force, but I don't really plan on that anymore because of my records of depression and anxiety. So, I have no plans right now. I might go to college next year. I don't know...

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff? I literally have no money. My bank says I have -$24 in my account and I need to pay it back within 30 days. I also have to pay my speeding ticket (which is where my next paycheck is going), give my cousin $100 for helping me get the speeding ticket reduced to a parking ticket, and give my parents $248 for car insurance, cell phone bill, and my cable box...

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.

I seriously just want to die now...

If you would rather live than die, PM me. If you would rather die than live, PM me.
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« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2011, 09:30:50 PM »

Maybe I should mention something:

My parents care about one thing and one thing only: MONEY. Thus, them not getting that $248 in two weeks...well, I'm pretty sure that's gonna piss them off. I have no idea what to do. All I know is that if I don't find another job soon, I'm screwed.
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« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2011, 09:33:05 PM »

Restaurants or temp agencies? They may be of help if you are looking for something in a hurry.
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« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2011, 09:34:19 PM »

It took me a year to get the job I just quit...

Hopefully it doesn't take so long this time  Undecided
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« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2011, 09:37:08 PM »

Lord have mercy.

Tell your parents.
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« Reply #25 on: September 07, 2011, 09:38:02 PM »

It took me a year to get the job I just quit...

Hopefully it doesn't take so long this time  Undecided

It's time to compartmentalize.

Will worrying or beating yourself up help you? What will it accomplish?

Have you got a plan to get out and change course, yet? Probably a better vector for your brain bites.
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« Reply #26 on: September 07, 2011, 09:48:22 PM »

Lord have mercy!

Don't ever give up hope.
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« Reply #27 on: September 07, 2011, 10:15:25 PM »

There is no quick solution to the chronic problem underlying your current crisis. You really need to be in a treatment program. Google "outpatient substance abuse treatment" +the name of your city or metro-area. Follow the program.
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« Reply #28 on: September 07, 2011, 11:36:45 PM »

I seriously just want to die now...

No. You just don't want to feel what you're feeling. Hang in. Besides, everyone knows there's no dying in Christianity.
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« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2011, 12:57:59 AM »

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that this is happening.  Sad

As others have said, don't give up - you are young and have more options than you might think.

Prayers!!
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« Reply #30 on: September 08, 2011, 05:58:40 AM »

Lord have mercy!

Do not despair; you will get yourself to where you need to be should you keep trying, no matter how many times you fall in the process.
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« Reply #31 on: September 08, 2011, 10:22:19 AM »

What do I do now, though? Do I tell my parents all this stuff?

Yes. By all means, do tell them everything. I am actually surprised that you haven't already done it. Do tell them now, don't wait another day. That can be something that will really change your life. If not (yes, I realize, parents aren't always helpful, for a variety of reasons), I think you still win by telling them everything. If they turn out to be not helpful, you will say to yourself, "well, at least I tried." And, again, they MIGHT be VERY helpful in your situation.

So, I basically am a severely depressed moron that is coming off of drugs and alcohol. I have no plans for life, owe A LOT of money, and lost my job.
I seriously just want to die now...

That sounds really sad. Did you talk to a doctor, a medical specialist? Depression is an illness, and, in many cases, it can be treated very successfully. My daughter had a clinical depression when she was 19-20. Her mom and I just dragged her to a doctor, and she received treatment and became well. Right now, she is 27, happily married, a Ph.D. student at Harvard and a very happy person!
« Last Edit: September 08, 2011, 10:23:15 AM by Heorhij » Logged

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« Reply #32 on: September 08, 2011, 10:45:05 AM »


Lord, have mercy!

Just take it one step at a time.
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« Reply #33 on: September 08, 2011, 11:42:38 PM »

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #34 on: September 08, 2011, 11:47:28 PM »

Some great advice given here. Read through and try to apply to your self.
God willing you will be fine.  Wink


You are in our prayers.
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« Reply #35 on: September 09, 2011, 01:15:04 AM »

Praying.

Don't give up! There are ways to solve this.
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« Reply #36 on: September 15, 2011, 07:12:17 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
« Last Edit: September 15, 2011, 07:12:50 PM by TristanCross » Logged

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« Reply #37 on: September 15, 2011, 07:14:07 PM »

Lord have mercy.

It's great that you have a priest as well as friends to comfort you and provide guidance. Stay strong. Thank you for the update. Smiley

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #38 on: September 15, 2011, 07:17:44 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Wonderful!  Smiley May God continue to bless you!
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« Reply #39 on: September 15, 2011, 07:25:09 PM »


Excellent!

Glory be to God!

I hope you continue to improve and grow in strength!

Thanks for letting us know!
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« Reply #40 on: September 15, 2011, 07:43:34 PM »

Glory to God!
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« Reply #41 on: September 15, 2011, 08:00:01 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.
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« Reply #42 on: September 15, 2011, 11:13:18 PM »

I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

O my dear, dear God. Climacus, are you a specialist in medicine or psychology?

PLEASE do not interfere with what Tristan's physician tells him to do. PLEASE. Don't be a CRIMINAL.

And there is no need to put the word psychiatrist in quotation marks. If you insist, then I will say that you are an "Orthodox" "Christian."

Tristan, PLEASE listen to specialists and don't pay any mind to people who have no clue.
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« Reply #43 on: September 15, 2011, 11:17:18 PM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy

I am very happy to hear that, Tristan. Just keep working together with your doctors and with your priest. BOTH. Neither side should have an upper hand. Medicine and religious support do not, cannot, should not exclude or contradict each other.

Also, please believe that you can do it, even if, after a while, you again experience temptations. We rise, and we fall, and we rise again, and we fall again. That's our life. But we gradually, step by little step, learn to be wiser, as we get older, and we acquire, with God's help, some wisdom to resist temptations and to stay afloat.

You are in my unworthy prayers, man.
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« Reply #44 on: September 16, 2011, 12:13:31 AM »

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm feeling a lot better now. My parents brought me to the hospital and I'm now taking some medication for my depression and anxiety. For the first time in 6 years, I feel normal. Next week, I'm going to see my psychiatrist and talk about some things. I've also been talking to some great Orthodox brothers and sisters on Facebook, as well as a priest. The priest has given me a prayer rule and is setting me straight on many things.

I also haven't been smoking or viewing pornography at all since all this happened. For those who don't know (some of you do), those were my biggest addictions. Perhaps God willed to knock down the weak man that I was to bring up the stronger man I'm becoming.

Thank you all again. Lord have mercy
Glory to God, Tristan.

That said, I would encourage you not to take depression and anxiety medication. While they may seem helpful at first, the long term side effects are detrimental to your health (and sometimes deadly). The writings and lives of the saints (and consequently their prayers) will assist you in ways greater than any "psychiatrist" can.

Trust in God, we will keep you in our prayers.
DISCLAIMER (directed to all reading this post): This forum does not exist to be a source for medical advice. Any advice given here is merely the possibly unqualified opinion of the poster offering it and is not to replace that given by a qualified professional who knows your medical situation and history well. Therefore, if you follow any medical advice given on this forum, you do so at your own risk. The admins and moderators of this forum do not endorse such advice and bear no responsibility for the consequences of following such advice.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2011, 01:01:37 AM by PeterTheAleut » Logged
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