Greetings in that Divine and Most Precious Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
i went back to pot. smoked everyday from thursday-to monday. i was in jersey from thursday to sunday and my cuzins and i smoked a lot. wen i got back, i had work the next day. i ended up QUITTING MY JOB because i was still high from the smoking the few days before and didnt want to do any work...i also got drunk and high the night i quit. i puked 4 times (twice in my room). i wasted all my money on the drugs...now i am in debt (about 40 bucks in debt), i freaked out on my friend cuz he wouldnt get me high, my parents dont know any of this...i also have to pay a speeding ticket this week (i will barely have enough money to pay it, im getting my last paycheck thursday)
im so screwed
i need help...im only 18 and my life is screwed
what am i supposed to do? im so lost!
Stop. Breath. Pray.
All of our lives here are often quite messed up. I like to say that the function of Orthodox priests is to keep our heads straight. Again then, stop, breath, and pray.
You can always go two ways in life, but just like any u-turn, you have to stop to turn around in the right direction. The drugs or alcohol are just symptoms of your misbehavior, don't confuse them as being the misbehavior itself. If you do not smoke pot or drink alcohol, you very well may still carry on misbehaving until some event like this again erupts symptomatically to reveal the underlying causes, psychological, emotional, physical, etc etc.
So please take a moment to reflect on your life. Don't get so caught up in these recent particular events, these have already happened, finished and done with. Now you have consequences, and it will take the Grace of God to get through both them, and to finish to the sequel and uncover what is really been bothering you. All of this is of course much to personal for this forum, but you've already confessed quite a bit. Leave it there, take it now to your priest, to your parents, to your confidants, and in that exact order.
Work with God to find and heal those wounds with have been bothering you, even subconsciously, and provoking you to this acting out kind of behavior. Drugs, promiscuity, rebelling against authority, these are all symptomatic behavior of much deeper problems. By the way, a weekend pot binge and 40 bucks and one job when your 18 are also not too big of fish too fry in the scheme of things, so really, don't get more stressed out about it then you need to. Lets put it into honest perspective, meth and 400 bucks is a bit more dramatic, and even then a workable problem. Also, if anything, getting more stressed may just provoke even more reactive, defensive misbehavior.
Stop, breath, pray. God alone can save you, me, and us all.