Feeling depraved and depressed [Pray for me]

[GTAsoldier]

Peace everyone,

I really don't want to sound selfish in anyway with all of those prayer threads I started concerning me, but right now I am feeling depressed and spiritually depraved. I have done some things recently which I feel guilty about since doing them and part of that guilt is being carried inside of me even as I type. My mind is blank and indifferent. And my heart and spirit are unclean due to pride, lust, and anger. The Devil has blinded me into deception. Sometimes I feel hypocritical when I want to approach God in life and yet these things happen at my own will. I often feel that I miss the mark all the time in my words, actions, and most importantly thoughts.  When these things happen, I cannot picture myself being in the presence of God either in this life or the next. And it's my fault. 

Sometimes I just hope for something extraordinary to happen just to change my outlook on life instead of doing mundane tasks.  I am being derailed on my journey to Orthodoxy for my age due to my actions and I am to blame. No amount of material success I have/had and spiritual highs that I have experienced in life can hold up to my foolishness. I need your help, please because I am on a spiritual low.

P.S. I am going to try my best to memorize Psalm 50 in the meantime.

[zekarja]

Kyrie, eleison! Psalm 50 is wonderful.

[recent convert]

Lord, have mercy!

[Hiwot]

Lord have mercy!
psalm 50 is very helpful especialy when combined with regular confession.unburden your soul with confession,heed the advise of your spiritual father. I see you are familiar with the Salutation and the Magnificat, you will find saying Rejoyce to her fills the heart with joy!
May the Lord have mercy on us!

[LizaSymonenko]

Lord, have mercy!

Be strong - and remember, God forgives a repentent heart.  Go to Confession, and then let it go!  Don't carry your sins around like a badge of dishonor! 

Raise your head and start anew!

Praying that God grants you strength, forgiveness and the courage and perserverence to move on!

Lord, have mercy!

[Fabio Leite]

Lord have mercy!

We are limited unperfect beings. Even the evils we commit are limited. We can *never* make any evil greater than the infinite mercy and love of God for us. God's love for you is far greater than the number of your sins.

The Prayer of Manasses (from the Septuaginta)

O LORD Almighty, the God of our fathers Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and of their righteous seed;

that hast made the heaven and the earth with all their adornment;

that hast bound the sea with the word of thy commandment; that hast closed the abyss and sealed it with thy fearful and glorious name;

whom all things revere and tremble before the face of thy power,

because the magnificence of thy glory is unendurable and irresistible the wrath of thy threatening against sinners:

the mercy of thy promise is both immeasurable and inscrutable;

for thou art the Lord most high, compassionate, longsuffering, and most merciful, repenting of the evils of men. Thou, Lord, according to the
abundance of thy goodness, hast proclaimed repentance and forgiveness to those that have sinned against thee, and in the multitude of thy kindnesses thou hast decreed for sinners repentance unto salvation.

Surely thou, O Lord, the God of the just, hast not appointed repentance for the just, for Abraham and Isaac and Jacob who have not sinned against thee; but thou hast appointed repentance for me a sinner:
for I have sinned above the number of the sand of the sea. My transgressions are multiplied, O Lord, they are multiplied, and I am not worthy to look at or see the height of heaven, for the multitude of my iniquities,
being bowed down by many iron bonds, so that I cannot uplift my head, and there is no release for me, because I have provoked thy anger, and have done evil before thee, not doing thy will, nor keeping thy commandments, but setting up abominations and multiplying offences.

And now I bend the knee of my heart, beseeching thy goodness:

I have sinned, Lord, I have sinned, and I acknowledge my transgressions:
but I pray and beseech thee, release me, Lord, release me, and destroy me not with my transgressions; keep not evils for me in anger for ever, nor condemn me to the lowest parts of the earth: because thou art God, the God of the repenting; and in me thou wilt shew all thy benevolence, for that me unworthy thou wilt save, according to thy great mercy:
and I will praise thee continually all the days of my life: for all the hosts of the heavens sings to thee, and thine is the glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

[Maria]

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy.

Trust in the Lord and share this with your confessor/spiritual father.

I too had a difficult catechumen, and I think that Catholics in general struggle more as they are denied the sacraments during their catechumenate. However, when I read the stories of the Russian Neo-Martyrs and all that they endured under the communists without the benefit of the holy sacraments, this testimony gave me the spiritual strength to run the race and complete the catechumenate.

[biro]

Lord have mercy.

[sainthieu]

Please don't despair. You can do this.

[orthonorm]

Lord have mercy!

[stavros_388]

I could have written your post many times myself, even very recently.
May the Lord be merciful to you!

[Tags:]

OrthodoxChristianity.net > General Forums > Prayer Forum > Topic: Feeling depraved and depressed [Pray for me]