You have a habit of dismissing everything inconvenient to your ideas about Orthodoxy as "scholastic', "western" etc. I do not pretend my ideas have much support in the past. But neither have yours. That's the point.
Your ideas have no support in the past. None that I've seen, but feel free to come up with some.
You do make your point
Consider that you are supposed to recieve the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ in your mouth. Isn't this a satisfactory argument against oral sex?
but I've never seen it argued that way. Before I would think of buying it, I'd first have to see why it took 2,000 years to come up with it. Of course, kissing would be off limits with your argument. How romantic.
My ideas (though I'm not quite sure what you are including under that rubric) are a different story.
One thing is that much of our literature and documents, in the Middle East, aren't confined to monasteries. Alls sorts of things lying about, going back millenia, showing that none of these "kinky" matters are new under the sun.
For the first few centuries of the Church we have an indication of that from the pagan literature and also from the Jewish: the Talmud goes into some detail on these matters because their rabbis, unlike the monks, were married. And even amongst the monks: we had a canonical letter posted a short while back, from Pope St. Athanasius, which ridiculed the idea that semen was defiling and unclean.
Since many, many Fathers speak out at homosexuality but pass over what you consider kinky (and they may well have too, but since it didn't invovle there lives, it was a moot point, to be passed over in silence) without comment. And we know it wasn't because it hadn't been invented yet.
There is a streak that you are holding onto, but its roots in pagan Platonism and Stoicism are in plain view, having been taken in wholesale into the Church without any basis in it. Such tares are not fruit.
The past was more like that priest at least on the level of the official discourse, although , I suspect, way more lax in practice. Now both of us want to move away from that past.
Whose past? Take for instance his insistance of abstinence during fasting periods. That was adopted by the Slavic Church when it had not been in the Empire of the Romans and other Apstolic lands (though it had been discussed there). IOW the practice might not go back even a millenium. And even in Russia, with its introduction, there were hierarchs who balked at it.