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Question: Can i talk about anything in confession or is there things that ppl should avoid talking about???  (Voting closed: August 23, 2011, 12:26:30 AM)
Yes (explain below) - 15 (71.4%)
No (dont bother explaining below) - 3 (14.3%)
keep it short unless you want him to call security - 1 (4.8%)
take your time especially if you have good jokes!!!! - 1 (4.8%)
depends if you bring a single malt or a blend - 1 (4.8%)
Total Voters: 21

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Author Topic: The confessions of a really bad sinner  (Read 4384 times) Average Rating: 5
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Poppy
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« on: August 10, 2011, 12:26:30 AM »

Is there certain things you should avoid saying in confessions??
What if you have a mega long list of stuff??
Is there a time limit on talking??
Can you do like a general skim over things or does he need details??
Is there anything pacific that you have to say that is normal to say in that situation?? Like a ritual or tradition
How do you know when to go in or not??
Can other people over hear what your saying??
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Alveus Lacuna
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« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2011, 12:37:11 AM »

During any confession the penitent should avoid getting too detailed to ward-off indiscretion. If you are too detailed, you can tempt the priest or somehow indict another person involved. So for example, if you committed fornication you can spare the "juicy" details, and don't say who it was with.
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« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2011, 01:48:21 AM »

When a person converts, they do a life confession and that can take awhile. But if you go regularly you obviously will have less to say, generally.

We have to be honest and not conceal things, but also spare the details as Alveus said. For example, "I lied to my parents several times this week about where I was." Some priests prefer more of a list, others prefer more of a narrative.

We also have to avoid scrupulosity, becoming obsessed with minor things while we ignore major things.

There is a service of confession but I've never had a priest go through it with me. There are a few opening prayers by the priest and then you say your piece. He may have some words of counsel, and then there is the absolution. It can take as little as 1-2 minutes, but I'd say 5-10 is normal in my experience (but my parish is rather small so the priest can spend more time with each person).

Usually confession happens by the iconstasis, and the priest will come out and stand there if he's hearing confessions. People will queue up and wait their turn. Or people sometimes schedule a confession if they need extra counsel or can't come at a normal time.

As for overhearing others, not really. Usually someone will be reading something during confession so it's not easy to overhear.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 01:54:59 AM by bogdan » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2011, 03:05:43 AM »

You're supposed to bare your soul, but it's not always that simple. Feel things out... and go slowly...
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« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2011, 04:27:44 AM »

Is there certain things you should avoid saying in confessions??

Mentioning activities of the other.

Quote
What if you have a mega long list of stuff??

That's not a problem.

Quote
Is there a time limit on talking??

No, there's not.

Quote
Can you do like a general skim over things or does he need details??

Yes.

Quote
Is there anything pacific that you have to say that is normal to say in that situation?? Like a ritual or tradition

You bow and kiss the Gospel and and the icon before the confession. After you confess your sins the priests asks whether you regret them (you have to for confession to be valid), then he gives a mini-sermon to you, an absolution. Finally you kiss the Gospel and icon again and ask him for a blessing.

Quote
How do you know when to go in or not??

That's a tricky one.

Quote
Can other people over hear what your saying??

They shouldn't.
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« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2011, 05:27:02 AM »


Is there certain things you should avoid saying in confessions??


Mentioning activities of the other.


wow ok so like
"The posty got stuck in my....." Nope
"My mate salted me a minging cup of tea...." Nope

So you just have to say
"I chunked all the postys mail in the river" or
"I put shrimps in the air con of my mates car"
without any qualification to it??




What if you have a mega long list of stuff??


That's not a problem.


Well if its a first confession it will go back years!!!




Is there a time limit on talking??


No, there's not.


Two hours?? Three??



Can you do like a general skim over things or does he need details??


Yes.


Which?? Skim or details??



Is there anything pacific that you have to say that is normal to say in that situation?? Like a ritual or tradition


You bow and kiss the Gospel and and the icon before the confession. After you confess your sins the priests asks whether you regret them (you have to for confession to be valid), then he gives a mini-sermon to you, an absolution. Finally you kiss the Gospel and icon again and ask him for a blessing.


What will he say if you don't regret them??



How do you know when to go in or not??


That's a tricky one.


Can you call out....are you ready now?? or WOOOHOO!!! or cough loudly or what??



Can other people over hear what your saying??


They shouldn't.


They shouldn't but they can sometimes huh?? lolOl
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orthonorm
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« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2011, 06:55:32 AM »

When a person converts, they do a life confession and that can take awhile. But if you go regularly you obviously will have less to say, generally.

We have to be honest and not conceal things, but also spare the details as Alveus said. For example, "I lied to my parents several times this week about where I was." Some priests prefer more of a list, others prefer more of a narrative.

We also have to avoid scrupulosity, becoming obsessed with minor things while we ignore major things.

There is a service of confession but I've never had a priest go through it with me. There are a few opening prayers by the priest and then you say your piece. He may have some words of counsel, and then there is the absolution. It can take as little as 1-2 minutes, but I'd say 5-10 is normal in my experience (but my parish is rather small so the priest can spend more time with each person).

Usually confession happens by the iconstasis, and the priest will come out and stand there if he's hearing confessions. People will queue up and wait their turn. Or people sometimes schedule a confession if they need extra counsel or can't come at a normal time.

As for overhearing others, not really. Usually someone will be reading something during confession so it's not easy to overhear.

Bogdan and everyone,

I think this has been touched on before, but it is common for those received through Baptism to do a life confession, since Baptism is for the remission of all prior sins?

I could see how pastorally a "life confession" would be helpful. But hanging around a parish a lot and speaking with my Priest, he probably knows all the "big ones". He sorta asks a list of questions when discussing becoming a catechumen. It really is a list.

Being in recovery for sometime and therapy, being transparent about my life ain't that big of a deal. Especially since both are "supposed" to be more detailed.

Over-scrupulosity has been banged into my head as a problem in different words both in therapy and recovery.

Making molehills into the Himalayas to not see the real mountains is easy.

At our parish, most folks stand toward the back of the parish when a confession is being heard or outside, as not to overhear. Midwesterners are very private like that.

I think my Priest would like folks to confess at least once a month if they are going to regularly commune.

During Lent he sent out several exhorting emails saying none would be communed at Pascha who not been to confession within the last year.

That is the basics as far as I know where I go.   
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« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2011, 07:38:06 AM »


Is there certain things you should avoid saying in confessions??


Mentioning activities of the other.


wow ok so like
"The posty got stuck in my....." Nope
"My mate salted me a minging cup of tea...." Nope

So you just have to say
"I chunked all the postys mail in the river" or
"I put shrimps in the air con of my mates car"
without any qualification to it??
Pretty much, yeah. The idea is to learn to take responsibility for our actions and not make excuses.
Quote


Can you do like a general skim over things or does he need details??


Yes.


Which?? Skim or details??
Yes.  Wink




Identify the sin. But details are not usually asked for. If you want an all-out counselling session, make an appointment if you know others are waiting or a service needs to begin. Just common courtesy. That also answers another question you had. (I hope)

Can other people over hear what your saying??
Since I'm a chanter in my church, if confessions are being heard before a service, I'll try to cover up any possible overhearing by singing a psalm or will call the other chanters over to "practise" something that is coming up. My priest will often hear confessions during Orthros on Sunday morning. In that case, I'll just turn up the volume a little bit.

But overhearing really shouldn't be a problem unless the room is small, or the acoustics beyond excellent, or the priest has his lapel microphone turned on  Cheesy.
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« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2011, 09:16:03 AM »

Ok being totally serious for a minute.... does it matter why someone regrets something or not?? Like it would matter to me but does it matter to God??

If someone said sorry to me, and the only reason they was sorry is because they got caught then they're not rli sorry, they're just sorry for thereself but not because they hurt you or let you down.

So, if you regret something ONLY because you know God doesn't like it and NOT because you actually regret what you did.... how much does that matter??

Thanks Popps
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« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2011, 11:23:07 AM »

So, if you regret something ONLY because you know God doesn't like it and NOT because you actually regret what you did.... how much does that matter??

Thanks Popps
You've made a really good point here. That's where the priest needs some discernment to prod a little bit just to make sure. Now, admitting that God doesn't like it is at least a step in the right direction. Not everyone will admit even that much. With a little direction, one can find out why the sin isn't good for the sinner, either.
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« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2011, 11:29:55 AM »

What will he say if you don't regret them??

He will ask you to come, when you'll start to.


Quote
Can you call out....are you ready now?? or WOOOHOO!!! or cough loudly or what??

It depends on the confessors. Some require to confess once a month, some - other frequency. Those who take the Eucharist every Liturgy should confees more often.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 11:30:08 AM by Michał Kalina » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2011, 11:32:45 AM »

It might be the difference between a heart of flesh and a heart of stone Poppy. Only God's Holy Spirit can bring about true repentance and Godly sorrow. As you know, I always say, be obedient and the rest will follow.

~ Dyhn
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« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2011, 12:34:30 PM »

So, if you regret something ONLY because you know God doesn't like it and NOT because you actually regret what you did.... how much does that matter??

Thanks Popps
You've made a really good point here. That's where the priest needs some discernment to prod a little bit just to make sure. Now, admitting that God doesn't like it is at least a step in the right direction. Not everyone will admit even that much. With a little direction, one can find out why the sin isn't good for the sinner, either.

It might be that the sinner don't see it as sin or can't see any bad that comes from the action
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« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2011, 12:43:28 PM »

So, if you regret something ONLY because you know God doesn't like it and NOT because you actually regret what you did.... how much does that matter??

Thanks Popps
You've made a really good point here. That's where the priest needs some discernment to prod a little bit just to make sure. Now, admitting that God doesn't like it is at least a step in the right direction. Not everyone will admit even that much. With a little direction, one can find out why the sin isn't good for the sinner, either.

It might be that the sinner don't see it as sin or can't see any bad that comes from the action
Are you meaning here that the sinner knows God doesn't like it and that's the only reason he (sinner) is at confession? As I said, at least it's a start. Sometimes children simply need to be told by their parents "Because I said so." The child is not always able to process the entire reasoning. So as long as the sinner is able to realize that something is wrong even without understanding why, we may just be dealing with a matter of a sort of immaturity that will change over time and with the right guidance.
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« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2011, 02:58:52 PM »

We don't regret our sins because it makes God feel better. It's not God's way of spoiling our fun. We should feel bad about lying or stealing or committing adultery or fighting with our spouse because doing these things hurts us and hurts others. God wants us to be whole and healed and have life abundantly.
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« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2011, 03:08:56 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter
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« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2011, 03:13:31 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter

Who gets to decide if the reason is good enough? Does the person who cheated on their spouse get to decide that they had a good reason? Or does the betrayed spouse get to decide? Does the thief get to decide if he is justified in stealing or does the person he stole from get to decide on the validity of the reason?
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« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2011, 03:29:06 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter

Who gets to decide if the reason is good enough? Does the person who cheated on their spouse get to decide that they had a good reason? Or does the betrayed spouse get to decide? Does the thief get to decide if he is justified in stealing or does the person he stole from get to decide on the validity of the reason?

A Priest once told me a woman asked him if she could have an affair. When he said no, she asked if she could just do it once.

lulz.
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« Reply #18 on: August 10, 2011, 03:29:51 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter

Who gets to decide if the reason is good enough? Does the person who cheated on their spouse get to decide that they had a good reason? Or does the betrayed spouse get to decide? Does the thief get to decide if he is justified in stealing or does the person he stole from get to decide on the validity of the reason?

well they get decided on the basis that you said..... if they hurt us or hurt others and who caused it. I don't see the problem of cheating or anything as long as your willing to accept the consequences. I personally think its a minging thing to do but people should have the freedom to do it, just they shouldn't cry when it bites them in the arse.

I even think thats more spiritual than telling people not to do it.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 03:33:51 PM by Poppy » Logged
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« Reply #19 on: August 10, 2011, 03:34:15 PM »

Are you saying that cheating doesn't hurt anyone else? Maybe the person will deserve a good swift kick in the toches, but the poor spouse that has to live with that. Vows are serious and there should be no excuse for betraying them.
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« Reply #20 on: August 10, 2011, 03:36:49 PM »

u can start really generally, eg. i tend to take revenge on people (the prawns incident) instead of forgiving them, i tend to lie when i am scared and i love hearing juicy gossip so i can feel proud that i am better than other people. (just making up some examples.)
then the priest can say if he needs more details.

i am surprised someone said confession may take 5 - 10 mins, mine has never been that short!
maybe i am rli bad!  Shocked
in some churches is there a little room u go into?
in our church people confess at the back of the church when everyone has gone out of the church.
so we can see them but we can't hear them.

if u r embarrassed for others to see u weeping tears of repentance and getting emotional (i am only half joking!) u can ask to go somewhere more private.
confession makes more sense after someone has been baptised, then the 'bad' things feel more bad and the 'good' things more good. yr conscience gets a clean-up and works much better after you are 'born again' through baptism.
u keep the conscience clean and working by regular Holy Communion and confession.
also people should repent their sins to God, it's best to do that while praying before u go to confession, so that everything is open before God.
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« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2011, 03:39:02 PM »

Are you saying that cheating doesn't hurt anyone else? Maybe the person will deserve a good swift kick in the toches, but the poor spouse that has to live with that. Vows are serious and there should be no excuse for betraying them.

I agree i think its minging BUT if someone has married a cheat then the sooner the better you know??
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« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2011, 03:39:17 PM »

Are you saying that cheating doesn't hurt anyone else? Maybe the person will deserve a good swift kick in the toches, but the poor spouse that has to live with that. Vows are serious and there should be no excuse for betraying them.

Yo Orthodox correct me if I am wrong, I have only paid attention to one Orthodox wedding (attended one since inquiring), but there ain't no vows per se?

Only seen it performed once and I recall waiting for something of the like to happen and nothing.

Not picking on you IsmiLiora or being "nerdy", I just want to get my facts straight or if there are different traditions.
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« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2011, 03:40:53 PM »

You are being nerdy, but whatevz.

And an answer would be good, since I don't know what my Orthodox wedding will be like yet. (That won't be for a while, though...baptism and chrismation are our biggest concerns right now during our meetings with Fr. X.) I only know a few vague things about it right now.
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« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2011, 03:41:01 PM »

u can start really generally, eg. i tend to take revenge on people (the prawns incident) instead of forgiving them, i tend to lie when i am scared and i love hearing juicy gossip so i can feel proud that i am better than other people. (just making up some examples.)
then the priest can say if he needs more details.

i am surprised someone said confession may take 5 - 10 mins, mine has never been that short!
maybe i am rli bad!  Shocked
in some churches is there a little room u go into?
in our church people confess at the back of the church when everyone has gone out of the church.
so we can see them but we can't hear them.

if u r embarrassed for others to see u weeping tears of repentance and getting emotional (i am only half joking!) u can ask to go somewhere more private.
confession makes more sense after someone has been baptised, then the 'bad' things feel more bad and the 'good' things more good. yr conscience gets a clean-up and works much better after you are 'born again' through baptism.
u keep the conscience clean and working by regular Holy Communion and confession.
also people should repent their sins to God, it's best to do that while praying before u go to confession, so that everything is open before God.

I love your humour its kind of funny but with a sting in it lolOl
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« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2011, 03:42:04 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter
It's still a case of admitting to your own behaviour. "I shot and killed a man."
Priest: "Tell me more" (this is likely one of those cases where he will ask for more details!)
Now you fill him in.
A good priest will help you work through all of the issues that arise. A decent healthy person will be troubled by this event and will need healing. Perhaps it isn't a crime, that's for the courts to decide. But our faith is about becoming whole and healthy people as God created us to be.

You see, Poppy, the word "sin", especially in Orthodoxy, really has two meanings:
Sin(1) might better be "sinfulness"; Sin(2) is "wrongdoing". Sin(1) is the disease that leads to death, whereas sin(2) is the symptoms of that disease. We want God to heal us of our sinful condition (i.e. sin1). As that happens, the symptoms begin to fade away. However, sometimes you do indeed need to deal with some symptoms - sort of a first aid situation - in order for the real healing to begin or continue.

Is this making any sense, or am I just starting to ramble??
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« Reply #26 on: August 10, 2011, 03:44:25 PM »

orthonorm,

Right, no vows. Back before I got married I did a bit of research and some people made a big deal about this. I can't remember why in particular, other than it being a supposedly western concept.
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« Reply #27 on: August 10, 2011, 03:48:50 PM »

No not if you have a good reason for doing the things you did.

Even the law recognises that.
If you shoot someone who is trying to kill you then its self defense but if you just shoot someone then its murder or manslaughter
It's still a case of admitting to your own behaviour. "I shot and killed a man."
Priest: "Tell me more" (this is likely one of those cases where he will ask for more details!)
Now you fill him in.
A good priest will help you work through all of the issues that arise. A decent healthy person will be troubled by this event and will need healing. Perhaps it isn't a crime, that's for the courts to decide. But our faith is about becoming whole and healthy people as God created us to be.

You see, Poppy, the word "sin", especially in Orthodoxy, really has two meanings:
Sin(1) might better be "sinfulness"; Sin(2) is "wrongdoing". Sin(1) is the disease that leads to death, whereas sin(2) is the symptoms of that disease. We want God to heal us of our sinful condition (i.e. sin1). As that happens, the symptoms begin to fade away. However, sometimes you do indeed need to deal with some symptoms - sort of a first aid situation - in order for the real healing to begin or continue.

Is this making any sense, or am I just starting to ramble??

Nope it makes sense.

Whole and healthy....well thats another issue. To me....and from what i understand from Christianity is that whole and healthy is when you are congruent with who you are and what your doing. God punished people for not doing things in faith.... like doing something but not being convinced in there heart of the thing theyre doing.....really they wanted to be doing something else. (pls dont make me go find the story) so they wasn't acting out of faith.....so what they did and what they wanted to do was two different things.

When who people are and what they say and do and how they are all matches then that person is happier with themself and secure and then nothing in them is working against themself.
Like when people don't like themself....that would be unhealthy and working against yourself.....a good example.
Get me??
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« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2011, 04:09:16 PM »

Whole and healthy....well thats another issue. To me....and from what i understand from Christianity is that whole and healthy is when you are congruent with who you are and what your doing.
Only if by "who you are" means "who God created you to be". Be careful with the "what you're doing" part: think of the drunk driver who says "I'm fine - I should know how drunk I am." We often don't see ourselves as we are, or our actions as others see them.

Quote
God punished people for not doing things in faith.... like doing something but not being convinced in there heart of the thing theyre doing.....really they wanted to be doing something else. (pls dont make me go find the story) so they wasn't acting out of faith.....so what they did and what they wanted to do was two different things.
Very Biblical. See Romans chapter 7.

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When who people are and what they say and do and how they are all matches then that person is happier with themself and secure and then nothing in them is working against themself.
Like when people don't like themself....that would be unhealthy and working against yourself.....a good example.
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« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2011, 04:17:01 PM »

yes, good points, poppy and genesisone
and poppy i like yr humour too, that's why i copied yr 'rli' abbreviation
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there are not vows at the wedding but the priest gives u a lecture on how to behave and by being there u indicate yr consent.
having said that my friend was just telling me how she got married at age 15 in sudan (about 15 years ago) in a church, and i hope that's changed since!
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« Reply #30 on: August 10, 2011, 04:17:57 PM »

Good to know. Plus, my priest is always telling us how to behave, so it should be nothing new.  laugh
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« Reply #31 on: August 10, 2011, 04:20:17 PM »

by being there u indicate yr consent.

The freedom/consent thing was the part that I found funny. Like people really had much of a choice all those centuries that they did arranged marriages. But I'm going wildly off topic here...
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« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2011, 04:23:11 PM »

We often don't see ourselves as we are, or our actions as others see them.

I'd say that's pretty much a given. We hardly ever see ourselves as we really are or our actions as they affect others. We can rationalize anything. "Oh well, it really wasn't that bad, and it made me feel better." Confession makes us "see ourselves as others see us" and own up to it. Very little room to wiggle out of it to make ourselves feel better.

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« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2011, 04:33:23 PM »

We often don't see ourselves as we are, or our actions as others see them.

I'd say that's pretty much a given. We hardly ever see ourselves as we really are or our actions as they affect others. We can rationalize anything. "Oh well, it really wasn't that bad, and it made me feel better." Confession makes us "see ourselves as others see us" and own up to it. Very little room to wiggle out of it to make ourselves feel better.



I agree we hardly see ourself as we really are BUT i think allot of that is because think thats indicative of ppl who can't be honest about themself. Like even in the smallest example its obvious how hard it is for ppl to even say sorry properly.
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« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2011, 04:37:14 PM »

I agree we hardly see ourself as we really are BUT i think allot of that is because think thats indicative of ppl who can't be honest about themself. Like even in the smallest example its obvious how hard it is for ppl to even say sorry properly.

Often it's because we like to think well of ourselves - it's more comfortable for us that way. It removes uncertainty and any impetus to actually do the hard unglamorous work of becoming the person God meant us to be.
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« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2011, 04:46:05 PM »

I agree we hardly see ourself as we really are BUT i think allot of that is because think thats indicative of ppl who can't be honest about themself. Like even in the smallest example its obvious how hard it is for ppl to even say sorry properly.

Often it's because we like to think well of ourselves - it's more comfortable for us that way. It removes uncertainty and any impetus to actually do the hard unglamorous work of becoming the person God meant us to be.

Yeah i kind of agree but why is that??? We all like to think well of ourself, i do too but not to the exclusion of knowing the whole of what im like. The crappy ways i am as well. People can think well of themself even when they admit to being the good and bad all together because they know that the whole of humanity is like that as well....good and bad together.

The reason i think people hate to look at what they are really like....good AND bad....and admit it.... it because of the rank way that they was brought up, usually with too strict and nonsensicle rules that squashed them and made them pathetic people pleasers. Im glad i wasn't brought up with parents i really am. I think most parents follow like a tonne of lost a dreary sheep because they feel they have to do as everyone else has done in their family or society because otherwise they will be caned for being different and having an origonal thought!!!! That where i think the problem comes from. People are SOOOOO scared of being wrong or being disapproved of that they lie and wont admit when they are wrong because the meaning of "being wrong" for them.... in their past..... has been way too heavy for a kid to take.

It screws ppl up.
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« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2011, 04:48:29 PM »

You see, Poppy, the word "sin", especially in Orthodoxy, really has two meanings:
Sin(1) might better be "sinfulness"; Sin(2) is "wrongdoing". Sin(1) is the disease that leads to death, whereas sin(2) is the symptoms of that disease. We want God to heal us of our sinful condition (i.e. sin1). As that happens, the symptoms begin to fade away. However, sometimes you do indeed need to deal with some symptoms - sort of a first aid situation - in order for the real healing to begin or continue.

Is this making any sense, or am I just starting to ramble??

It's kind of a ctach 22. Sin (1) causes us to sin(2). When we sin (2), we place ourselves under bondage or strengthen our bondage to sin(1). Biblically speaking, We need God to deal with both because both are a problem.
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« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2011, 05:06:25 PM »

Yeah i kind of agree but why is that??? We all like to think well of ourself, i do too but not to the exclusion of knowing the whole of what im like. The crappy ways i am as well. People can think well of themself even when they admit to being the good and bad all together because they know that the whole of humanity is like that as well....good and bad together.

The reason i think people hate to look at what they are really like....good AND bad....and admit it.... it because of the rank way that they was brought up, usually with too strict and nonsensicle rules that squashed them and made them pathetic people pleasers. Im glad i wasn't brought up with parents i really am. I think most parents follow like a tonne of lost a dreary sheep because they feel they have to do as everyone else has done in their family or society because otherwise they will be caned for being different and having an origonal thought!!!! That where i think the problem comes from. People are SOOOOO scared of being wrong or being disapproved of that they lie and wont admit when they are wrong because the meaning of "being wrong" for them.... in their past..... has been way too heavy for a kid to take.

It screws ppl up.

Got to admit that is a total 180 from my experience/observation. Most folks I encounter seem to be pretty much self-centered narcissists who don't give a toss about anyone else. The only rule they have is to take care of and please themselves, no matter who gets hurt along the way.
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« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2011, 05:44:02 PM »


Bogdan and everyone,

I think this has been touched on before, but it is common for those received through Baptism to do a life confession, since Baptism is for the remission of all prior sins?

Good question. I was received by Chrismation, but I know people who were received by baptism and they still made a confession.

I never thought about it that way before though. Maybe there isn't a necessity but it's more for guidance and to get an idea of what the person struggles with? If a person struggles with, say, suicidal thoughts or some other serious thing, it would be good for the priest to know that right away.

But you're right, baptism is an absolutely clean slate, so I imagine it's more for pastoral reasons than anything else.

The same probably goes for giving absolution before you have even been received, which happened to me.
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« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2011, 06:56:14 PM »

You should always be honest.  But some details are better left unsaid.  If the priest wants to know, he'll ask.  If you arn't comfortable saying something, tell the priest.  Those are the basics I think we can all agree on.  (I hope).
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« Reply #40 on: August 10, 2011, 08:28:08 PM »

Most priests have hours when they are at the church office. You may try calling the priest and asking if you can have more time. Confession "by appointment" is permitted in some parishes as needed. I've had to do that on occasion. Don't be afraid, confession is good for you.  angel
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« Reply #41 on: August 11, 2011, 12:43:06 AM »

You should always be honest.  But some details are better left unsaid.  If the priest wants to know, he'll ask.  If you arn't comfortable saying something, tell the priest.  Those are the basics I think we can all agree on.  (I hope).

Can you plead the 5th in the states?? Does that work with yr priest?? haha...
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« Reply #42 on: August 11, 2011, 01:08:55 AM »

You should always be honest.  But some details are better left unsaid.  If the priest wants to know, he'll ask.  If you arn't comfortable saying something, tell the priest.  Those are the basics I think we can all agree on.  (I hope).

Can you plead the 5th in the states?? Does that work with yr priest?? haha...

Only works in courts of law, and then only some of the time  Grin Wink
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« Reply #43 on: August 11, 2011, 03:05:24 AM »

You should always be honest.  But some details are better left unsaid.  If the priest wants to know, he'll ask.  If you arn't comfortable saying something, tell the priest.  Those are the basics I think we can all agree on.  (I hope).

Can you plead the 5th in the states?? Does that work with yr priest?? haha...

He IS a Priest.
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« Reply #44 on: August 11, 2011, 07:21:54 AM »

You should always be honest.  But some details are better left unsaid.  If the priest wants to know, he'll ask.  If you arn't comfortable saying something, tell the priest.  Those are the basics I think we can all agree on.  (I hope).

Can you plead the 5th in the states?? Does that work with yr priest?? haha...

He IS a Priest.

What does THAT mean?? "He IS a Priest"??

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