Doubt creaters

[Anastasia1]

Have you ever had someone who you think you can trust because there is some common background, maybe even spiritually, and then that person throws doubt are you that you are joining a valid church or you are not wanting to go to another Orthodox church because of all the fasting* and other sacrifices of attending early in the morning mean you shouldn't be Orthodox without even knowing your concerns about such things? How do you deal with people like that?

[Poppy]

Ok i didn't understand all of your post but the first line got my attention. Why would you think you can trust them just because they have a common background?? I was a bit like  when i read that.

You shouldn't trust anyone because everyone is fallible but you should trust yourself that you can deal with w/eva.

Did you mean that you can relate to that person better because of your common background?? I can understand that.

I would be carefull of anyone who peed at my party and i deal with people by just comeing out with what i need to say. That's the best way i think because people know where they are then. There are so many two faced people around that at least they know your not that!! lolOl So i would tell them straight how you feel and see how they react. Then i would go to the church that you want, no matter what anyone else says....well apart from your priest you got to listen to him.

[Fabio Leite]

You have to see what kind of person you are and how you come to know things. I will explain why and how.

The why is related to "why do I trust certain things and others not?" "why do I believe certain things and others not?"

Are a "rational equirer" kind of person? To which degree are you influenced by the people around you (we all are)?

I say that because *I am* a rational enquirer kind of person and examining alternatives does not cause any discomfort. Indeed, I analysed many religions and christianities before becoming Orthodox. I was even Kardecist for some time. *For me* it is part of the process of learning, understanding something.

The point is, for you, would it do any good? Is that how you learn, by comparisons? Remember that today many people think that comparisons are offensive (particularly if you must make a judgement of "better/worse" or "right/wrong" in the end).

To learn if that's the case for you, try to remember the things that you know that you know, that is, not the things you are sure (a feeling) that you know, but that you know as fact that you know them. Don't use the big questions for that. Do you know who your mother/father is? Do you know you love a person? Do you know that you are good at music?

After that, analyze *how* you came to know these things. Did you go through a thourough analyzes of all the alternative possibilities?  Did you just "dived in" to learn? Do you know that because you trust people who told you that you know it? Do you know it because you analyzed all the constituent elements? Do you test your knowledge by experimenting? How do you come to learn the things you know that you know?

Just use the same technique with Church.

*My* way is to start by forming a mental map of the scenario in study and from this kind of "table of contents" of subjects study each element and rearrange them in the map as I learn more. I have great difficulty if I have to start from "bottom-up" with elements devoid of context. That is why "I" had to learn about a couple of religions before I could say I understand at least one of them. *I* would not consider that I know any religion in particular if I could not see it in perspective with other religions, what they mean to each other. That's just how my "brain software works". Maybe that is how your friend works as well. Is that how *you* work?

[Poppy]

blimey thats a interesting perspective

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