Thank you for your openness. Let me be frank and share my thoughts quickly and suggest perhaps an interesting point of view on "identity" in general.
Many comments in this thread are just silly.
Homosexuality is certainly biologically defined to a degree and environmentally as well, that is even, if we could separate the two.
Sexuality in my life and interactions with folks who are frank about their sexuality show that sexuality is rather fluid and less absolute than many folks would like it to be in our fallen world.
I have many crosses to bear, I am glad homosexual orientation ain't one. It often seems very painful, especially for those surrounded by "Christians".
All of us nowadays in the developed world do mark ourselves heavily by our sexual orientation. It is just more transparent for heterosexual folks than homosexual folks. I lulz at people who think homosexual folks "parade" their sexuality around (when they ain't doing it literally, parading that is), because they don't realize how much people do parade their heterosexuality around through wedding bands, photos, talk about their relationships etc.
In short, homosexual folks have a hard time of it.
We all are sinners. And truly my masturbating really ain't much different than a homosexual act in my way of figuring things. Never seen too many protests against masturbation and how it will cause the fall of civilization.
Lying, lusting (even toward one's married heterosexual parter), greed, impatience, etc. are all sins. And we all fall short.
So I really don't get too excited about gays and lesbians and how they are working out their salvation. It just provocative to the Puritanical side of folks who think sexuality is particularly dangerous, when truly it is greed that we all should be concerned about. It was greed that drove Judas to betray Christ and St. John Chrysostom said (paraphrasing perhaps) all sin begins with the word mine. (Others please correct me if I am wrong on that attribution.)
This brings me to my brief thoughts on identity, which may not be helpful in their brevity or content.
There really ain't no identity as such. We are who we are through the relationships we have with others. It is through communion that we truly become who we are. Our God is such. Three Persons in Eternal relationship with One Another, Their unique Personhood rising out of those relations.
And to parse a verse often quoted but I believe poorly understood.
You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (or worse: as you love yourself.)
This ain't no self-esteem nonsense, that you have to "love yourself" first before you can love others and only to the extent you love yourself can you love others. That is poison to me.
For me, this verse means that the neighbor, the other, IS myself. To the degree that I love my neighbor (commune with them) is to the degree I become who I truly am. (This would apply to love of God as well.)
We ain't aggregations of qualities . . . well we can measure ourselves in this manner.
But the Gospel says there ain't no me without God and my neighbor. I cannot become a son of God, that is to say human, without first loving God and my neighbor. Without those two things, I am just an aggregate of qualities to be measured and "valued".
For the me the Gospel, or at least part of it, is that I can, to the degree I love God and my neighbor, be free of "identifying" with all the garbage I believe I must cling to to be "me". This is what is means to die with Christ, so that we truly can live.
If I live long enough I'll lose nearly everything the world and I prize about myself. Nothing will remain. And as those qualities diminish and fall away, I will suffer. I will be less "valuable".
But if those things that are held in esteem by the word and myself no longer comprise who I truly am, then when they pass, it doesn't have to be so disorientating.
Love God and love your neighbor and then you will be yourself. And those two acts as I understand it from people who have seemed to live by them grow over time and can be a source of joy and solace as the qualities which we think make us up fall away.
Certainly being homosexual, American, wealthy, etc. inform our lives, but they ain't our lives. Thank God!
In the one or two nanoseconds I've let go of my "identity" and found my being rooted in the Love of God and neighbor, a freedom was found with which nothing can compare.
Being myself is a drag, if only I had the chutzpah to truly want to die to myself every day and seek to only love God and my neighbor . . . then I would be who I truly am.
Till then, I remain your snarky and insufferable anonymous poster.
EDIT: I should probably delete this nonsense.