Author Topic: Craziest things atheists/non-believers have said about the Christian faith.  (Read 9590 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Shiny

  • Site Supporter
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,267
  • Paint It Red
I have come across a topic regarding the Christian God as having been derived as a Volcano god, and that the early Jewish belief was worshipping a volcano god. This theory is somehow support that Mt Sinai was a ground for active volcanos and the fire and smoke was actually from a volcano. And then loosely connected by phrases "lakes of fire, burnt sacrifices, fire, etc"

Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.

Anyone have any other stories?
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline Justin Kissel

  • Formerly a *, now a ☆
  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 31,012
  • Faith: Agnosticish
I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.

Offline Shiny

  • Site Supporter
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,267
  • Paint It Red
I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.

I was hoping you'd say Christianity was cut from the same cloth like Mithra, Dionysius, Horus and even bizarrely Buddha.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline akimori makoto

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,126
  • No-one bound by fleshly pleasures is worthy ...
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.

Offline Shiny

  • Site Supporter
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,267
  • Paint It Red
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.

I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline akimori makoto

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,126
  • No-one bound by fleshly pleasures is worthy ...
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.

Yeah, I stop listening as soon as they utter that inanity.

I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.

Well said.
The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.

Offline Iconodule

  • Uranopolitan
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,136
  • "My god is greater."
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Ecumenical Patriarchate (ACROD)
"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
"A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply." - William Blake

Online biro

  • Excelsior
  • Site Supporter
  • Hoplitarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,658
    • Alaska Volcanoes
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: GOAA
"You know it's really paganism/Buddhism/something else in disguise, right?"

 ???

 :P
He will come again with glory to judge the living and the dead. His kingdom will have no end.

--

And if I seem a little strange, well, that's because I am

--

If you wish to contact me, please use the information in my profile.

Offline Shiny

  • Site Supporter
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,267
  • Paint It Red
"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline FrChris

  • The Rodney Dangerfield of OC.net
  • Site Supporter
  • Taxiarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,252
  • Holy Father Patrick, thank you for your help!
"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
"As the sparrow flees from a hawk, so the man seeking humility flees from an argument". St John Climacus

Offline Iconodule

  • Uranopolitan
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,136
  • "My god is greater."
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Ecumenical Patriarchate (ACROD)
"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way.

Here's a book I saw on this topic (my brother was reading it): http://www.amazon.com/Mushrooms-Mankind-Impact-Consciousness-Religion/dp/1585091510/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312244745&sr=1-1

The book is so poorly written and researched that I was very surprised my brother (a very intelligent person) was reading it.

The owner of this Youtube channel also has videos putting forth this view... he claims he was a novice monk briefly at St. Anthony's in Arizona. Pray for him.
"A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply." - William Blake

Offline Justin Kissel

  • Formerly a *, now a ☆
  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 31,012
  • Faith: Agnosticish
"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.

Well, the "zombie Jesus" is a popular thing nowadays.  :police: I believe the answer to her question, whether she was serious or not, is: "I do so because after the talking snake convinced the nude rib-woman to eat the magical fruit from a one of a kind tree, she and her hubby fell from grace and were thrown out of eden, and so my family has needed some divine help since then; zombie Jesus offered that help in the form of sacrificing himself to himself so that he wouldn't be angry with me anymore"  :P  ;D  (Just kidding... )

Online Volnutt

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 4,827
  • Lunacy Loves Company
  • Faith: Might become Orthodox
"Yahweh is just a bronze age tribal war god."

"Faith may not be able to move mountains, but look what it does to skyscrapers! (and various permutations)"

"If you grew up in Saudi Arabia/wherever, you'd probably be a Muslim/random non-Christian religion."

Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."
Every day we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words. -Goethe

I once heard a monk say, “The person of prayer does not need to go any further than his own heart to find the source of all violence in the world.” -Fr. Stephen Freeman

Online biro

  • Excelsior
  • Site Supporter
  • Hoplitarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,658
    • Alaska Volcanoes
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: GOAA
Of course, the key lessons of that story are: never eat apples, and if you think snakes are talking to you, run. ;).
He will come again with glory to judge the living and the dead. His kingdom will have no end.

--

And if I seem a little strange, well, that's because I am

--

If you wish to contact me, please use the information in my profile.

Offline Shiny

  • Site Supporter
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,267
  • Paint It Red
Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."

I'm not sure what's more limiting, that Google maps only covers the Earth or his brain.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Online Volnutt

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 4,827
  • Lunacy Loves Company
  • Faith: Might become Orthodox
Indeed lol. I really hope he's a troll, but he's been at it for so long...

Another one, "Proverbs 24:13 advises eating honey. Honey is bad for your teeth. Therefore the Bible is evil for contradicting good dental science."
Every day we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words. -Goethe

I once heard a monk say, “The person of prayer does not need to go any further than his own heart to find the source of all violence in the world.” -Fr. Stephen Freeman

Offline Justin Kissel

  • Formerly a *, now a ☆
  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 31,012
  • Faith: Agnosticish
Sounds like the alternate universe (=opposite) version of this guy, who does a pretty good job pretending to be a fairly dull Christian fighting against atheists.

Offline NicholasMyra

  • Avowed denominationalist
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,250
  • Nepsis or Sepsis™
"Semitic people", who all worshiped YHWH, and included the Egyptians, wiped out the original near-eastern Mother Goddess and installed patriarchy, theocracy, empire and "mean, war-prone" YHWH as God over all of the Near East and Mediterranean.

Yeah. People think that.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 09:55:00 PM by NicholasMyra »
Quote from: Orthonorm
if Christ does and says x. And someone else does and says not x and you are ever in doubt, follow Christ.

Πλούσιοι επτώχευσαν και επείνασαν
Οιδε εκζητούντες τον Κύριον
Ουκ ελαττωθήσονται παντός αγαθού

Offline Jason.Wike

  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,046
Every permutation of "Christianity was only spread by the sword." When you mention that sub-Roman Britain seems to have totally converted over night to Christianity all they can ever say "You're wrong idiot." When you mention Ireland which willingly converted, same thing. When you mention Scotland, same...
« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 10:56:31 PM by Jason.Wike »

Offline IsmiLiora

  • Chronic Exaggerator
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,434
  • Back by unpopular demand.
^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 11:01:14 PM by IsmiLiora »
She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
--
"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
--
I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

Offline MyMapleStory

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 181
Jesus was (insert here political and religious nametags).


Offline Poppy

  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,030
    • im the pretty one!!! lolOl
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

A few months back i was convinced he could have been a extra terrestrial in a human body
@o@

I'm nearly out of that now

Offline JamesRottnek

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 5,123
  • I am Bibleman; putting 'the' back in the Ukraine
Well, it is certainly not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but the idea that the incense in the Temple was marijuana, and that that was the incense early Christians used.

I must admit, I did believe this at one time...
I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice.  Can you guess what it is?

The greatest tragedy in the world is when a cigarette ends.

American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.

Preston Robert Kinney (September 8th, 1997-August 14, 2011

Offline Severian

  • Aspiring Allopathic Ankle Orthodontist
  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 5,131
  • Saint Severus of Antioch - the Eloquent Mouth
    • St. Jacob Baradeus' Orthodox Christian Fellowship
  • Faith: Orthodox Christianity
  • Jurisdiction: Coptic Orthodoxy
^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Did you tell your professor that the gizya on Egypt's Coptic Christians wasn't lifted until the 19th century? And that up until then Christians were double taxed for maintaining their faith? *Sigh* But being an Ottoman professor he may not have known that... ???
« Last Edit: August 03, 2011, 12:31:09 AM by Severian »
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." -Jesus Christ

Remember the 21 new martyrs in your prayers.

Lord, protect Egypt, Syria, Lebanon & Iraq.

Offline akimori makoto

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,126
  • No-one bound by fleshly pleasures is worthy ...
How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.

Offline Salpy

  • Section Moderator
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,069
  • New Martyrs of Libya pray for us!
^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.

Thank you for having the courage to do that.

Offline Jason.Wike

  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,046
How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?

Maybe she went to college a realllly long time ago.  :P

Offline Ansgar

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,041
  • Keep your mind in hell and do not despair
All religious people are psychopaths

I got this one thrown in the face by a roommate  :)
Do not be cast down over the struggle - the Lord loves a brave warrior. The Lord loves the soul that is valiant.

-St Silouan the athonite

Offline Alpo

  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,267
  • My borcht recipe is better than your borcht recipe
Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.

Why?

Offline JamesRottnek

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 5,123
  • I am Bibleman; putting 'the' back in the Ukraine
How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?

I thought she was talking about a Professor of Ottoman Studies, or some such thing.  Calling yourself an Ottoman (unless you happen to be a particular type of footstool) in this day and age is about as ludicrous as me calling myself a Pilgrim because my ancestors settled here in the seventeenth century.
I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice.  Can you guess what it is?

The greatest tragedy in the world is when a cigarette ends.

American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.

Preston Robert Kinney (September 8th, 1997-August 14, 2011

Offline IsmiLiora

  • Chronic Exaggerator
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,434
  • Back by unpopular demand.
^ RE: My Ottoman Professor, 2 things

1) Even though I love different languages, my English is.....interesting. Sometimes I reverse word order or use an adjective differently. He taught the history of the Ottoman empire. I wasn't actually calling him an Ottoman ;)
2) As a joke, I actually would refer to him as "my Ottoman professor" with friends because he was obsessed (and I mean OBSESSED) with the Ottomans and thought that they could do no wrong. I got a C- on that paper, and I know it wasn't because of my writing and quality of research. The NOs on the paper pretty much spelled it out for me.
She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
--
"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
--
I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

Offline theo philosopher

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 315
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Self-Ruled Antiochian Orthodox Christian
* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
“Wherefore, then, death approaches, gulps down the bait of the body, and is pierced by the hook of the divinity. Then, having tasted of the sinless and life-giving body, it is destroyed and gives up all those whom it had swallowed down of old." - St. John of Damascus

Offline vamrat

  • Vamratoraptor
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,244
"Christianity is a fairy tale."

Don't know why, but this one really bothers me.  Perhaps it is the pure level of scorn.  Whatever.  Someone once said this to me and I remembered that my Grandma always tells me to remember what Jesus would do.  So I fashioned a cat of nine tails out of some parachute cord and let him have it.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Iconodule

  • Uranopolitan
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,136
  • "My god is greater."
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Ecumenical Patriarchate (ACROD)
"Christianity is a fairy tale."

This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.
"A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply." - William Blake

Offline celticfan1888

  • Production Operator - Chemtrusion
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,026
"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  ::)
Forgive my sins.

Offline vamrat

  • Vamratoraptor
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,244
"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  ::)

Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

Me: "Correct.  Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline IsmiLiora

  • Chronic Exaggerator
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,434
  • Back by unpopular demand.
"Wow, with all those rules, you must be miserable."
She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
--
"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
--
I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right

Offline orthonorm

  • Hoplitarches
  • *************
  • Posts: 17,029
* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)

Are you intentionally attempting to try my fast? Go easy on your weaker brethren.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline orthonorm

  • Hoplitarches
  • *************
  • Posts: 17,029
"Christianity is a fairy tale."

This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.

We are on the same page. Just as with the myth page as well.

Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline orthonorm

  • Hoplitarches
  • *************
  • Posts: 17,029
The craziest thing a Christian can say:

I believe Jesus is God.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline minasoliman

  • Mr., Sir, Dude, Guy, Male, tr. Minas in Greek, Menes in white people Egyptologists :-P
  • Section Moderator
  • Toumarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 13,201
  • Strengthen O Lord the work of Your hands(Is 19:25)
The Mother of all history conspiracies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ-vqiBvMo8&feature=related

That was by far the craziest thing I ever heard (atheists?) say.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_(Fomenko)
« Last Edit: August 03, 2011, 03:21:06 PM by minasoliman »
Vain existence can never exist, for "unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain." (Psalm 127)

If the faith is unchanged and rock solid, then the gates of Hades never prevailed in the end.

Offline celticfan1888

  • Production Operator - Chemtrusion
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 3,026
"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  ::)

Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

Me: "Correct.  Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."

:laugh: :police: 8)

Man, I wish I would've said that.
Forgive my sins.

Offline theistgal

  • Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic gadfly
  • Site Supporter
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,082
  • don't even go there!
What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!
"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)

Offline orthonorm

  • Hoplitarches
  • *************
  • Posts: 17,029
What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!

Or contrarywise, someone who prays and recovers from an illness and uses that to prove the existence of God or the efficacy of prayer.

It is silly. And pagan.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline Justin Kissel

  • Formerly a *, now a ☆
  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 31,012
  • Faith: Agnosticish
The craziest thing a Christian can say:

I believe Jesus is God.

Ok, I'll bite. Why? :)