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Author Topic: Craziest things atheists/non-believers have said about the Christian faith.  (Read 6995 times) Average Rating: 0
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« on: August 01, 2011, 06:43:30 PM »

I have come across a topic regarding the Christian God as having been derived as a Volcano god, and that the early Jewish belief was worshipping a volcano god. This theory is somehow support that Mt Sinai was a ground for active volcanos and the fire and smoke was actually from a volcano. And then loosely connected by phrases "lakes of fire, burnt sacrifices, fire, etc"

Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.

Anyone have any other stories?
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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2011, 07:40:41 PM »

I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.
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« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2011, 07:48:00 PM »

I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.

I was hoping you'd say Christianity was cut from the same cloth like Mithra, Dionysius, Horus and even bizarrely Buddha.
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« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2011, 07:49:08 PM »

My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
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« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2011, 07:53:25 PM »

My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.

I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.
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« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2011, 08:08:46 PM »

My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.

Yeah, I stop listening as soon as they utter that inanity.

I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.

Well said.
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« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2011, 08:17:49 PM »

"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
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« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2011, 08:18:39 PM »

"You know it's really paganism/Buddhism/something else in disguise, right?"

 Huh

 Tongue
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« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2011, 08:20:16 PM »

"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way.
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« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2011, 08:22:28 PM »

"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
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« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2011, 08:27:37 PM »

"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way.

Here's a book I saw on this topic (my brother was reading it): http://www.amazon.com/Mushrooms-Mankind-Impact-Consciousness-Religion/dp/1585091510/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312244745&sr=1-1

The book is so poorly written and researched that I was very surprised my brother (a very intelligent person) was reading it.

The owner of this Youtube channel also has videos putting forth this view... he claims he was a novice monk briefly at St. Anthony's in Arizona. Pray for him.
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« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2011, 08:28:42 PM »

"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.

Well, the "zombie Jesus" is a popular thing nowadays.  police I believe the answer to her question, whether she was serious or not, is: "I do so because after the talking snake convinced the nude rib-woman to eat the magical fruit from a one of a kind tree, she and her hubby fell from grace and were thrown out of eden, and so my family has needed some divine help since then; zombie Jesus offered that help in the form of sacrificing himself to himself so that he wouldn't be angry with me anymore"  Tongue  Grin  (Just kidding... )
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« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2011, 08:32:54 PM »

"Yahweh is just a bronze age tribal war god."

"Faith may not be able to move mountains, but look what it does to skyscrapers! (and various permutations)"

"If you grew up in Saudi Arabia/wherever, you'd probably be a Muslim/random non-Christian religion."

Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."
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« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2011, 08:33:44 PM »

Of course, the key lessons of that story are: never eat apples, and if you think snakes are talking to you, run. Wink.
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« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2011, 08:42:21 PM »

Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."

I'm not sure what's more limiting, that Google maps only covers the Earth or his brain.
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« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2011, 08:47:22 PM »

Indeed lol. I really hope he's a troll, but he's been at it for so long...

Another one, "Proverbs 24:13 advises eating honey. Honey is bad for your teeth. Therefore the Bible is evil for contradicting good dental science."
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« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2011, 08:50:44 PM »

Sounds like the alternate universe (=opposite) version of this guy, who does a pretty good job pretending to be a fairly dull Christian fighting against atheists.
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« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2011, 09:54:40 PM »

"Semitic people", who all worshiped YHWH, and included the Egyptians, wiped out the original near-eastern Mother Goddess and installed patriarchy, theocracy, empire and "mean, war-prone" YHWH as God over all of the Near East and Mediterranean.

Yeah. People think that.
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« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2011, 10:54:30 PM »

Every permutation of "Christianity was only spread by the sword." When you mention that sub-Roman Britain seems to have totally converted over night to Christianity all they can ever say "You're wrong idiot." When you mention Ireland which willingly converted, same thing. When you mention Scotland, same...
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« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2011, 11:01:07 PM »

^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
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« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2011, 12:39:46 AM »

Jesus was (insert here political and religious nametags).

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« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2011, 12:47:19 AM »

My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".

A few months back i was convinced he could have been a extra terrestrial in a human body
@o@

I'm nearly out of that now
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« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2011, 10:46:37 PM »

Well, it is certainly not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but the idea that the incense in the Temple was marijuana, and that that was the incense early Christians used.

I must admit, I did believe this at one time...
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« Reply #23 on: August 03, 2011, 12:29:33 AM »

^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Did you tell your professor that the gizya on Egypt's Coptic Christians wasn't lifted until the 19th century? And that up until then Christians were double taxed for maintaining their faith? *Sigh* But being an Ottoman professor he may not have known that... Huh
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« Reply #24 on: August 03, 2011, 01:08:11 AM »

How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
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« Reply #25 on: August 03, 2011, 01:58:36 AM »

^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.

Thank you for having the courage to do that.
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« Reply #26 on: August 03, 2011, 02:06:33 AM »

How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?

Maybe she went to college a realllly long time ago.  Tongue
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« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2011, 03:32:16 AM »

All religious people are psychopaths

I got this one thrown in the face by a roommate  Smiley
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« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2011, 03:41:13 AM »

Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.

Why?
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« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2011, 07:50:09 AM »

How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?

I thought she was talking about a Professor of Ottoman Studies, or some such thing.  Calling yourself an Ottoman (unless you happen to be a particular type of footstool) in this day and age is about as ludicrous as me calling myself a Pilgrim because my ancestors settled here in the seventeenth century.
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« Reply #30 on: August 03, 2011, 09:31:07 AM »

^ RE: My Ottoman Professor, 2 things

1) Even though I love different languages, my English is.....interesting. Sometimes I reverse word order or use an adjective differently. He taught the history of the Ottoman empire. I wasn't actually calling him an Ottoman Wink
2) As a joke, I actually would refer to him as "my Ottoman professor" with friends because he was obsessed (and I mean OBSESSED) with the Ottomans and thought that they could do no wrong. I got a C- on that paper, and I know it wasn't because of my writing and quality of research. The NOs on the paper pretty much spelled it out for me.
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« Reply #31 on: August 03, 2011, 09:57:50 AM »

* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
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« Reply #32 on: August 03, 2011, 11:40:56 AM »

"Christianity is a fairy tale."

Don't know why, but this one really bothers me.  Perhaps it is the pure level of scorn.  Whatever.  Someone once said this to me and I remembered that my Grandma always tells me to remember what Jesus would do.  So I fashioned a cat of nine tails out of some parachute cord and let him have it.
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« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2011, 12:07:24 PM »

"Christianity is a fairy tale."

This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.
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« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2011, 12:38:33 PM »

"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  Roll Eyes
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« Reply #35 on: August 03, 2011, 01:12:13 PM »

"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  Roll Eyes

Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

Me: "Correct.  Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."
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« Reply #36 on: August 03, 2011, 01:16:14 PM »

"Wow, with all those rules, you must be miserable."
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« Reply #37 on: August 03, 2011, 01:19:35 PM »

* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)

Are you intentionally attempting to try my fast? Go easy on your weaker brethren.
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« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2011, 01:21:11 PM »

"Christianity is a fairy tale."

This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.

We are on the same page. Just as with the myth page as well.

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« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2011, 01:22:44 PM »

The craziest thing a Christian can say:

I believe Jesus is God.
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« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2011, 03:10:51 PM »

The Mother of all history conspiracies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ-vqiBvMo8&feature=related

That was by far the craziest thing I ever heard (atheists?) say.

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« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2011, 05:40:18 PM »

"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  Roll Eyes

Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

Me: "Correct.  Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."

laugh police Cool

Man, I wish I would've said that.
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« Reply #42 on: August 04, 2011, 11:22:31 AM »

What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!
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"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)
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« Reply #43 on: August 04, 2011, 11:56:15 AM »

What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!

Or contrarywise, someone who prays and recovers from an illness and uses that to prove the existence of God or the efficacy of prayer.

It is silly. And pagan.
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #44 on: August 04, 2011, 12:27:55 PM »

The craziest thing a Christian can say:

I believe Jesus is God.

Ok, I'll bite. Why? Smiley
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I'll bet I look like a goof.

"And since when have Christians become afraid of rain?"
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