Achronos
What's so good about Cincinnati? You like it? You think Cincinnati is cool? I've never heard anyone say, 'I'm going to Cincinnati on vacation.'
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« on: August 01, 2011, 06:43:30 PM » |
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I have come across a topic regarding the Christian God as having been derived as a Volcano god, and that the early Jewish belief was worshipping a volcano god. This theory is somehow support that Mt Sinai was a ground for active volcanos and the fire and smoke was actually from a volcano. And then loosely connected by phrases "lakes of fire, burnt sacrifices, fire, etc"
Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.
Anyone have any other stories?
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“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.”
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."
"We see at once that the words absolute, divine, eternal, and so on do not express what is implied in them.
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2011, 07:40:41 PM » |
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I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.
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Achronos
What's so good about Cincinnati? You like it? You think Cincinnati is cool? I've never heard anyone say, 'I'm going to Cincinnati on vacation.'
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And we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?!
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« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2011, 07:48:00 PM » |
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I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.
I was hoping you'd say Christianity was cut from the same cloth like Mithra, Dionysius, Horus and even bizarrely Buddha. |
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“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.”
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."
"We see at once that the words absolute, divine, eternal, and so on do not express what is implied in them.
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akimori makoto
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« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2011, 07:49:08 PM » |
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My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
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The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.
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Achronos
What's so good about Cincinnati? You like it? You think Cincinnati is cool? I've never heard anyone say, 'I'm going to Cincinnati on vacation.'
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Hoplitarches
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And we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?!
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« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2011, 07:53:25 PM » |
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My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously. I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on. |
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“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.”
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."
"We see at once that the words absolute, divine, eternal, and so on do not express what is implied in them.
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akimori makoto
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« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2011, 08:08:46 PM » |
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My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously. Yeah, I stop listening as soon as they utter that inanity. I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on. Well said. |
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The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.
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Iconodule
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« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2011, 08:17:49 PM » |
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"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
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"A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect: the Man Or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian." - William Blake
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biro
Ursus maritimus
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Και κλήρονομον δείξον με, ζωής της αιωνίου
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« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2011, 08:18:39 PM » |
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"You know it's really paganism/Buddhism/something else in disguise, right?"   |
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phthalyl.podomatic.com
the-cornet.blogspot.com
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Charlie Rose: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Fran Lebowitz: Everything. There is not one thing with which I am satisfied.
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Achronos
What's so good about Cincinnati? You like it? You think Cincinnati is cool? I've never heard anyone say, 'I'm going to Cincinnati on vacation.'
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Hoplitarches
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And we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?!
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« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2011, 08:20:16 PM » |
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"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way. |
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“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.”
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."
"We see at once that the words absolute, divine, eternal, and so on do not express what is implied in them.
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FrChris
The Rodney Dangerfield of OC.net
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Holy Father Patrick, thank you for your help!
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« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2011, 08:22:28 PM » |
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"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"
I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
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"As the sparrow flees from a hawk, so the man seeking humility flees from an argument". St John Climacus
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2011, 08:28:42 PM » |
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"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"
I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
Well, the "zombie Jesus" is a popular thing nowadays.  I believe the answer to her question, whether she was serious or not, is: "I do so because after the talking snake convinced the nude rib-woman to eat the magical fruit from a one of a kind tree, she and her hubby fell from grace and were thrown out of eden, and so my family has needed some divine help since then; zombie Jesus offered that help in the form of sacrificing himself to himself so that he wouldn't be angry with me anymore"  (Just kidding... ) |
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Volnutt
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« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2011, 08:32:54 PM » |
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"Yahweh is just a bronze age tribal war god." "Faith may not be able to move mountains, but look what it does to skyscrapers! (and various permutations)" "If you grew up in Saudi Arabia/wherever, you'd probably be a Muslim/random non-Christian religion." Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist." |
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I'm not posting on oc.net for the time being. Thank you to everyone for your support!
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biro
Ursus maritimus
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Και κλήρονομον δείξον με, ζωής της αιωνίου
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« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2011, 08:33:44 PM » |
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Of course, the key lessons of that story are: never eat apples, and if you think snakes are talking to you, run.  . |
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phthalyl.podomatic.com
the-cornet.blogspot.com
___
Charlie Rose: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Fran Lebowitz: Everything. There is not one thing with which I am satisfied.
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Achronos
What's so good about Cincinnati? You like it? You think Cincinnati is cool? I've never heard anyone say, 'I'm going to Cincinnati on vacation.'
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Hoplitarches
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And we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?!
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« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2011, 08:42:21 PM » |
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Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist." I'm not sure what's more limiting, that Google maps only covers the Earth or his brain. |
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“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
“The last capitalist we hang shall be the one who sold us the rope.”
"Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are."
"We see at once that the words absolute, divine, eternal, and so on do not express what is implied in them.
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Volnutt
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« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2011, 08:47:22 PM » |
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Indeed lol. I really hope he's a troll, but he's been at it for so long...
Another one, "Proverbs 24:13 advises eating honey. Honey is bad for your teeth. Therefore the Bible is evil for contradicting good dental science."
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I'm not posting on oc.net for the time being. Thank you to everyone for your support!
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2011, 08:50:44 PM » |
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Sounds like the alternate universe (=opposite) version of this guy, who does a pretty good job pretending to be a fairly dull Christian fighting against atheists. |
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NicholasMyra
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« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2011, 09:54:40 PM » |
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"Semitic people", who all worshiped YHWH, and included the Egyptians, wiped out the original near-eastern Mother Goddess and installed patriarchy, theocracy, empire and "mean, war-prone" YHWH as God over all of the Near East and Mediterranean.
Yeah. People think that.
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« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 09:55:00 PM by NicholasMyra »
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Jason.Wike
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« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2011, 10:54:30 PM » |
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Every permutation of "Christianity was only spread by the sword." When you mention that sub-Roman Britain seems to have totally converted over night to Christianity all they can ever say "You're wrong idiot." When you mention Ireland which willingly converted, same thing. When you mention Scotland, same...
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« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 10:56:31 PM by Jason.Wike »
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If you give up pride of place for yourself to God, you will find your soul and eternity.. if you insist on putting yourself before God you will loose yourself eternally.
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IsmiLiora
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« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2011, 11:01:07 PM » |
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^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
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« Last Edit: August 01, 2011, 11:01:14 PM by IsmiLiora »
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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
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"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
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I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right
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MyMapleStory
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« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2011, 12:39:46 AM » |
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Jesus was (insert here political and religious nametags).
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Poppy
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« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2011, 12:47:19 AM » |
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My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
A few months back i was convinced he could have been a extra terrestrial in a human body @o@ I'm nearly out of that now |
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this poster got marred to a catholic bloke in france!!!!!!!
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JamesRottnek
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Jurisdiction: Episcopal Diocese of Arizona
Posts: 4,553
I am Bibleman
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« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2011, 10:46:37 PM » |
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Well, it is certainly not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but the idea that the incense in the Temple was marijuana, and that that was the incense early Christians used.
I must admit, I did believe this at one time...
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I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice. Can you guess what it is?
The greatest tragedy in the world is when a cigarette ends.
American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.
Preston Robert Kinney (September 8th, 1997-August 14, 2011
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Severian
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« Reply #23 on: August 03, 2011, 12:29:33 AM » |
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^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Did you tell your professor that the gizya on Egypt's Coptic Christians wasn't lifted until the 19th century? And that up until then Christians were double taxed for maintaining their faith? *Sigh* But being an Ottoman professor he may not have known that... |
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« Last Edit: August 03, 2011, 12:31:09 AM by Severian »
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Christ is risen! !المسيح قام Χριστός ἀνέστη! ⲠⲓⲬⲣⲓⲥⲧⲟⲥ ⲁϥⲧⲱⲛϥ! Christus resurrexit! Come and join OCnet's new book club! |
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akimori makoto
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« Reply #24 on: August 03, 2011, 01:08:11 AM » |
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How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
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The Episcopallian road is easy and wide, for many go through it to find destruction. lol sorry channeling Isa.
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Salpy
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« Reply #25 on: August 03, 2011, 01:58:36 AM » |
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^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Thank you for having the courage to do that. |
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St. Hripsimeh pray for us!
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Jason.Wike
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« Reply #26 on: August 03, 2011, 02:06:33 AM » |
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How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
Maybe she went to college a realllly long time ago. |
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If you give up pride of place for yourself to God, you will find your soul and eternity.. if you insist on putting yourself before God you will loose yourself eternally.
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Ansgar
High Elder
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Keep your mind in hell and do not despair
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« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2011, 03:32:16 AM » |
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All religious people are psychopaths I got this one thrown in the face by a roommate  |
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Christ is risen!
Do not be cast down over the struggle - the Lord loves a brave warrior. The Lord loves the soul that is valiant.
-St Silouan the athonite
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Alpo
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« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2011, 03:41:13 AM » |
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Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.
Why? |
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Just a little reminder: this forum is not called OrthodoxChristianityUSA.net  |
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JamesRottnek
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I am Bibleman
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« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2011, 07:50:09 AM » |
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How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
I thought she was talking about a Professor of Ottoman Studies, or some such thing. Calling yourself an Ottoman (unless you happen to be a particular type of footstool) in this day and age is about as ludicrous as me calling myself a Pilgrim because my ancestors settled here in the seventeenth century. |
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I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice. Can you guess what it is?
The greatest tragedy in the world is when a cigarette ends.
American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.
Preston Robert Kinney (September 8th, 1997-August 14, 2011
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IsmiLiora
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« Reply #30 on: August 03, 2011, 09:31:07 AM » |
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^ RE: My Ottoman Professor, 2 things 1) Even though I love different languages, my English is.....interesting. Sometimes I reverse word order or use an adjective differently. He taught the history of the Ottoman empire. I wasn't actually calling him an Ottoman 2) As a joke, I actually would refer to him as "my Ottoman professor" with friends because he was obsessed (and I mean OBSESSED) with the Ottomans and thought that they could do no wrong. I got a C- on that paper, and I know it wasn't because of my writing and quality of research. The NOs on the paper pretty much spelled it out for me. |
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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
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"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
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I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right
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theo philosopher
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« Reply #31 on: August 03, 2011, 09:57:50 AM » |
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* Jesus never existed
* Evolution proves God doesn't exist
* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time
* An actual infinite regress is possible
* God requires you to speak in tongues
* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)
* All religions are the same
* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
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“Wherefore, then, death approaches, gulps down the bait of the body, and is pierced by the hook of the divinity. Then, having tasted of the sinless and life-giving body, it is destroyed and gives up all those whom it had swallowed down of old." - St. John of Damascus
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vamrat
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« Reply #32 on: August 03, 2011, 11:40:56 AM » |
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"Christianity is a fairy tale."
Don't know why, but this one really bothers me. Perhaps it is the pure level of scorn. Whatever. Someone once said this to me and I remembered that my Grandma always tells me to remember what Jesus would do. So I fashioned a cat of nine tails out of some parachute cord and let him have it.
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It is an education process for me as I learn about the psychology of spiritual apostasy. And others get the benefit of perhaps hearing righteousness for the first time.
Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.
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Iconodule
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« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2011, 12:07:24 PM » |
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"Christianity is a fairy tale."
This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales. |
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"A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect: the Man Or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian." - William Blake
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celticfan1888
Orthodox Christianity, funny.
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Eg trur på Gud Fader, den allmektige...
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« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2011, 12:38:33 PM » |
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"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god" *sigh*  |
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vamrat
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« Reply #35 on: August 03, 2011, 01:12:13 PM » |
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"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god" *sigh* Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god" Me: "Correct. Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..." |
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It is an education process for me as I learn about the psychology of spiritual apostasy. And others get the benefit of perhaps hearing righteousness for the first time.
Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.
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IsmiLiora
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« Reply #36 on: August 03, 2011, 01:16:14 PM » |
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"Wow, with all those rules, you must be miserable."
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She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
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"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
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I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right
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orthonorm
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« Reply #37 on: August 03, 2011, 01:19:35 PM » |
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* Jesus never existed
* Evolution proves God doesn't exist
* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time
* An actual infinite regress is possible
* God requires you to speak in tongues
* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)
* All religions are the same
* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
Are you intentionally attempting to try my fast? Go easy on your weaker brethren. |
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We cannot legislate morality by passing laws controlling firearms. The only evil we can combat lies within our hearts. We need stronger laws to protect the moral foundation of society against the evil of gay marriage. |
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orthonorm
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« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2011, 01:21:11 PM » |
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"Christianity is a fairy tale."
This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales. We are on the same page. Just as with the myth page as well. |
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We cannot legislate morality by passing laws controlling firearms. The only evil we can combat lies within our hearts. We need stronger laws to protect the moral foundation of society against the evil of gay marriage. |
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orthonorm
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« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2011, 01:22:44 PM » |
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The craziest thing a Christian can say:
I believe Jesus is God.
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We cannot legislate morality by passing laws controlling firearms. The only evil we can combat lies within our hearts. We need stronger laws to protect the moral foundation of society against the evil of gay marriage. |
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minasoliman
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« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2011, 03:10:51 PM » |
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« Last Edit: August 03, 2011, 03:21:06 PM by minasoliman »
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Vain existence can never exist, for \\\"unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.\\\" (Psalm 127)
If the faith is unchanged and rock solid, then the gates of Hades never prevailed in the end.
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celticfan1888
Orthodox Christianity, funny.
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Faith: Orthodox Catholic (i.e. Orthodox Christian)
Jurisdiction: Patriarchate of Moscow
Posts: 2,963
Eg trur på Gud Fader, den allmektige...
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« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2011, 05:40:18 PM » |
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"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god" *sigh* Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god" Me: "Correct. Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."   Man, I wish I would've said that. |
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theistgal
Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic gadfly
High Elder
Offline
Faith: Follower of Jesus Christ
Jurisdiction: Byzantine Catholic
Posts: 1,672
don't even go there!
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« Reply #42 on: August 04, 2011, 11:22:31 AM » |
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What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!
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"Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals' and move on.'' (owner of Coney Island freak show, upon learning he'd been outbid on a 5-legged puppy)
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orthonorm
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« Reply #43 on: August 04, 2011, 11:56:15 AM » |
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What always irritates me is when someone describes a a really horrible crime, committed by someone claiming to be a believer, then uses that as their proof that not only is there no god but anyone who thinks there is must be at least borderline criminally insane!
Or contrarywise, someone who prays and recovers from an illness and uses that to prove the existence of God or the efficacy of prayer. It is silly. And pagan. |
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We cannot legislate morality by passing laws controlling firearms. The only evil we can combat lies within our hearts. We need stronger laws to protect the moral foundation of society against the evil of gay marriage. |
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #44 on: August 04, 2011, 12:27:55 PM » |
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The craziest thing a Christian can say:
I believe Jesus is God.
Ok, I'll bite. Why? |
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