For me, it was ultimately a matter of trust. (and before Orthodoxy found me, I was on my way to a Lutheran seminary with the goal of becoming a Lutheran pastor.)
That is, trust the Church to "get it right", even if I don't understand or agree at that particular point in time, in the hope that I may be eventually enlightened and understand.
Katherine,
If you would be willing to share more I would be interested. I am curious about how you dealt with having to set aside your desire to be a cleric.
Thanks.
Mostly I came to the point where I realized that I had to trust that the Church had gotten it right - that picking and choosing what I was willing to believe is both an emotional and spiritual dead end. Once a little of the ego dissipated, that is. That kind of, if I may say so, "typical Protestant attitude" is just a tad arrogant. Why do I think I would be any smarter than St. Gregory Palamas - and other Fathers of the Church? I have a hard time even understanding them. Or why would I think that I understand the Christian teachings better than the disciples of the Apostles, who died for their faith?
So which is more likely - that people like St. John Chrysostom or St. Iraeneus are wrong or that I am wrong, and will eventually come to understand, with God's help.
It is up to me to let the Church change me - it is not up to me to change the Church or the beliefs, teachings and praxis of a couple of millenia of Christianity.
(Plus, when the fog of ego cleared a little, I was able to notice that, while I know quite a few great women who are pastors, I didn't know any great women pastors, if you know what I mean.)