You need to take 10 steps back for a moment.
As a 15 year veteran of the military, I think I can speak to your mindset, your zeal, and your question.
First off...I'm so glad you have found the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church!!! May you enter Her embrace!
I had a similar life experience (similar - not the same). The above advice from scamadrius is correct. Military folks are used to being hard chargers, ready to "get into the fight," etc. We're planners, builders, givers...etc. But let's look at this a bit.
I understand if I just sound like an overzealous convert but this is something I've thought about for a long time, before I ever stepped foot in an Orthodox parish.
It is good that you recognize this *could sound like* overzealousness. Now accept that it is
overzealous. You should continue to think about about it for a long, long time. The marriage won't be an impediment (economia of the Bishop will decide)...but your eagerness might be. Think about it this way. A private comes straight out of training into your unit - and says he wants to be the First Sergeant!!!! That's all well and good, but you know that even if he's the best of the best, he has a lot of years and a lot of growing to do before he is ready for that. In such a case, you tell the private, what? Be a good private first. Show up to formation on time, keep your uniform and weapon clean, stay out of trouble, keep up your PT, become technically and tactically proficient. Then we can look at getting you into a Jr. NCO billet. But you have to be a good private first. Then a good Corporal...then a good Sergeant...then a Good Staff Sergeant...then a good etc.
Same with Orthodoxy. Just because there is not rank on people's shoulders doesn't mean there isn't an invisible hierarchy of spiritual gifts and maturity in the midst of the Church. I see Holy women shine like the sun...and I know they are my spiritual elders...just by their holiness. Look for these, learn from these, grow like these. Be a good private first. Then a good corporal, etc. Being a priest is not like getting a commission to Lt....it should be like becoming a First Sergeant or Sergeant Major. It requires *maturity* in the faith.
Is there another option I'm missing?
Yep. Focus on your wife and family now if you have them. Work out your own salvation with "fear and trembling" and then focus on your family. The family is the first test and growth to ministry in the Church. This is your priesthood.
This is an enormous weight on my shoulders as I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place.
We all have beds we've made that we need to lie in sometimes. Trust me...from a lot of experience...you can work really hard and stress out about impediments and push and push and push to get to a goal...only to have God pull it our from under you because he has other plans, but you were intent upon your own. Look at what is right in front of you and inside of you and work there. Be simple. Be humble. Otherwise, God will humble you. Trust me...He will humble you in ways you weren't prepared for...if you don't work to do it with Him.
God will use you wherever you are. When you realize that...you can be truly free. The rock and the hard place are in your head. These are what are called *Logoismoi*.