I was serving behind the altar today at a very small service in my church. There was my Priest, the Deacon, and me behind the altar, and the Presbytera was singing alone. Near the end of the Orthros, Presbytera suddenly stops mid-hymn and shouts, “OH MY GOD”. The three of us behind the altar look out at her, and she’s practically climbing the walls freaking out.
“There’s a scorpion! Or something! I don’t know! EW!”
Father, the deacon and I all come out and look around to find the bug, but we come up with nothing. Eventually, Presbytera calms down and says, “Let’s just keep going.”
She starts over again, but this time she gets about ten seconds into it before she’s shouting again, but much louder, “OH OH OH THERE IT IS KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT”
We run out again and spot a little house centipede running around on the music stand. Father grabs the Great Horologion that she had sitting on the stand and smacks the bug onto the floor. It starts crawling towards my feet, so I stomp it flat.
As we return to the altar to finish Orthros, the deacon, a jolly old man in his late 70s, leans over to me and whispers, “And people say that church is boring!”