i have only read pages 1 and 2 and the last 3 pages, so forgive me if i repeat something.
i know a lot of these posts are comedy / docudrama material, but i wanted to reply to the posts about infatuation, which i think are serious questions.
when i was 14 - 17 years old, i had a few infatuations, partly with people on tv, and partly with unavailable friends of my parents who were always at least 10 years older.
i got enough wise advice by then to know that if i am just fantasizing about cuddling in front of an open fire, and not considering what interests we share or imagining having this guy's kids, then it's probably just a fantasy, and can be enjoyed for a short while and then laid to rest.
i decided not to make a move until i was 18, as, i know some people get married at 16, but i felt like my feelings had not changed, and were still quite immature at 17. i concentrated on other interests in life, and on my studies (i was heading to higher education, or i would have concentrated on getting a job).
i really didn't imagine myself getting old with any of these guys, having grandchildren, building a house together, or any other more mundane stuff.
so i figured my feelings were fueled more by romantic movies than by realistic expectations.
by 17 1/2, i had learnt enough about myself to know a few things that i really liked and were important to me (travel and studying the Bible) and i knew i would have to wait till i found someone who shared these interests.
i spent less and less energy 'feeding' my infatuations with my daydreaming and more energy on day to day life, and my feelings faded.
i was, at this tender age, still a bit worried that if i did not get married soon, i may join a monastery. (even in those days as a protestant, i knew there were some very special and spiritual people in monasteries, and i admired them but was not at all keen on the no romance aspect!) however i decided to trust God and to wait for the right time to come.
as i had really poor social skills, i knew i had to rely on God to help me to notice if someone was romantically interested in me. i gave myself a plan: until the age of 21 i would just study, make friends and go to church. then i would start to pray again about it seriously and see what would happen.
just before my 21st birthday, i travelled alone across europe on a trip loosely linked to my education.
i went to a Christian music festival where there were 3000 people present.
the following year i went back to catch up with my rather special pen-friend i met there.
i didn't need to 'date' anyone else after that; he shared my main aims and interests, and we discussed our plans together with the people in the church i attended, and found a community who supported us through the wedding and the ups and downs of the first year together (before we started moving house a lot).
i know this is just one person's experience and it is different for different people, but the main thing is to think what we have learnt about God's love and grace from every experience we go through.
it is a big mistake if young people are acting on their infatuations and cuddling each other while one thinks of her favourite pop star and the other imagines his favourite model (this can happen to older adults too and is equally dangerous!)
it's normal to have very strong emotions during adolescence, but as we get older, we should gain more control of these, and use our heads as well as our hearts to judge if we are making a sensible move.
(making a move on your bisexual receptionist would not come into the 'sensible' category!)
i have also seen encouraging examples of later weddings recently in an orthodox church, between people who were fulfilled and active in their single life before meeting someone special.
so don't give up hope, but also make sure you put plenty of energy into other things than finding romance.