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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 58586 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #675 on: June 14, 2012, 04:28:18 PM »

Well the thing I need advice with is how to get over someone. Like two years ago, there was this one girl that I absolutely loved. She was like my best friend and we both had romantic feelings for each other. We would literally talk to each other 24/7, spend as much time together as we could and when we could not be together we would be on the phone all of the time or text messaging each other. We knew everything about each other; our deepest fears, embarassing things, ambitions etc. No one knew me better than she did and no one knew her better than I did. But, for some reason I cannot remember, we got into a bad fight, and so, we stopped talking to each other for like a year. But then after that year went by, we finally started talking again and saw each other a couple times. But, now it feels like we are absolute strangers. That special bond we had is entirely gone and destroyed; it is like we've separated into two absolutely different people like strangers that can barely hold a conversation with each other now. Oftentimes I find myself scolding myself for allowing us to have that fight and screwing this all up.

Actually, this IS something I have a lot of experience with and have sound advice for.  Unfortunately, all the advice for this sucks.  That's just the breaks.

Strong emotional attachments trigger pleasure centers in your brain and release chemicals.  The closer you are to having gone through puberty the stronger these chemicals will be.  There is one surefire cure for this...time.  Sorry bro, but time is the only cure.  If I calculate correctly this happened when you were 14.  The first girl ever to shoot me down was when I was 15.  That hurt horribly for months and I would have the pain resurface YEARS after the fact.  But it will go away.  12 years and 30 days have passed since then (yeah, I know it's pathetic that I know that...) and I honestly can tell you I feel nothing.  Actually, I probably haven't felt the pain from this particular instance in seven or eight years, but you get my point.  This girl of yours will probably never be forgotten, nor will the pain be forgotten, but there will come a point where you WILL NOT feel the pain anymore.

As for future occurrences, you probably have a good number of them ahead of you.  Two things make the pain lessen each time.  First is age.  As you get older the chemicals become weaker.  The hormones die down.  I still get depressed but it is a bit less painful each time, and none of the recent rejections have felt as bad for as long as that first girl.  Second - experience.  The more times you get hurt by a girl the more you get deadened to it.  You will emotionally invest less and less quickly and rejections will soften in their effect.

So keep your chin up.  Life will always suck, but you will get used to it and won't let it affect you!


(BTW, none of this will probably do you any good, but that's how it goes.  Plenty of people gave me this info when I was your age and it didn't help a damn bit.  But now being older, I am thankful that I received the advice, so now I am paying them back through you, and in eleven years I expect you to do the same!   Wink)
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« Reply #676 on: June 14, 2012, 04:29:53 PM »

Ding ding ding ding!

Your prize is that I will change my avatar to which ever Irish Saint that starts with a 'P' and has a feast day in March that you would like, and I will donate $10 to the terrorist organization of your choosing...(not really)!

I tried to find a Saint that matched those criteria, other than St. Patrick, but came up empty Sad I really wanted that prize!  Tongue  (some came close though, like St. Piran, who was maybe from Ireland, and maybe has a feast day in March, but I'm not sure if he is glorified by any Orthodox; another one was St. Psalmodius, who was from Ireland and also possibly has a feast day in March, and again I'm not sure if the Orthodox glorify him).

You want me to change my avatar to St. Patrick?  Fair enough.  It's a bit overdone now, seeing as like four or five other people all have the same avatar, but oh well.  It's the rules of the game!

[Avatar changed.]
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« Reply #677 on: June 14, 2012, 04:46:02 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?
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« Reply #678 on: June 14, 2012, 04:50:02 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?
Who are you trying to attract?
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« Reply #679 on: June 14, 2012, 05:02:12 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

Pheromones.


+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( Roll Eyes), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?
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« Reply #680 on: June 14, 2012, 05:08:56 PM »

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( Roll Eyes), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?
So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.
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« Reply #681 on: June 14, 2012, 05:16:22 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

When I figure that out I'll sure as hell tell you nothing!  I won't be needing the competition!
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« Reply #682 on: June 14, 2012, 05:26:52 PM »

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( Roll Eyes), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?
So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.

You got it:




(What I was saying about good looks??  That's overrated.)
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« Reply #683 on: June 14, 2012, 05:34:13 PM »

You need a good pick up line. Something like: "Hey baby... you wanna find out why the ladies nicknamed me Buff Hardbody?"
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« Reply #684 on: June 14, 2012, 05:39:03 PM »

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.
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« Reply #685 on: June 14, 2012, 08:31:19 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!
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« Reply #686 on: June 14, 2012, 08:37:52 PM »

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.
you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
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« Reply #687 on: June 14, 2012, 08:39:20 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!
Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.
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« Reply #688 on: June 14, 2012, 08:44:41 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you!  Grin  But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>
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« Reply #689 on: June 14, 2012, 08:46:19 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you!  Grin  But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>
If it was as small as the ark maybe.
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« Reply #690 on: June 14, 2012, 08:55:26 PM »

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.
you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Wow. I had completely forgotten that that song exists.

Yep. I'm pretty sure I hate you now.
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« Reply #691 on: June 14, 2012, 09:02:35 PM »

 
I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.
you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

 laugh laugh laugh

can you hear the drums ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7AEV7kKifo
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« Reply #692 on: June 14, 2012, 09:08:39 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!
Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Are you and I friends on Facebook?
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« Reply #693 on: June 14, 2012, 09:08:55 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

Money.
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« Reply #694 on: June 14, 2012, 09:09:03 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool! Grin
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« Reply #695 on: June 14, 2012, 09:18:26 PM »

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

depends on what kind you want to attract my bro  Smiley
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« Reply #696 on: June 14, 2012, 09:33:37 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool! Grin

Thanks.  Back tot he akathists for me!
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« Reply #697 on: June 14, 2012, 09:36:34 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!
Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Are you and I friends on Facebook?
PM me your link.

I may have tried to add you.
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« Reply #698 on: June 14, 2012, 09:44:41 PM »

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

...just saying, ...that going by your profile picture on Facebook....I think most girls would turn and run. 

Wink
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« Reply #699 on: June 14, 2012, 10:08:38 PM »

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

...just saying, ...that going by your profile picture on Facebook....I think most girls would turn and run. 

Wink


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« Reply #700 on: June 14, 2012, 10:14:30 PM »


Ya....that's the one.    Grin
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« Reply #701 on: June 14, 2012, 10:42:51 PM »

Move over Ayn Rand icon of castration...
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« Reply #702 on: June 14, 2012, 11:02:19 PM »

Whelp...celibacy just got a lot easier...yikes!
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« Reply #703 on: June 14, 2012, 11:07:57 PM »



Just like Dad...

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« Reply #704 on: June 14, 2012, 11:40:36 PM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.
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« Reply #705 on: June 15, 2012, 12:10:05 AM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.

She's the third sexiest woman I've ever lusted after.  

I might ask her to marry me.
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« Reply #706 on: June 15, 2012, 10:08:20 AM »

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.

She's the third sexiest woman I've ever lusted after.  

I might ask her to marry me.

What's the prize for guessing who are #1 and #2?

(I vote for amartin  laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh)

Or maybe....

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« Reply #707 on: June 15, 2012, 10:14:52 AM »

#2 is...

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« Reply #708 on: June 15, 2012, 10:27:35 AM »

#2 is...



ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?
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« Reply #709 on: June 15, 2012, 10:36:57 AM »

I was joking about the #3 bit. 

#'s 1 and 2 I've actually dated.  I don't consider movie stars or whathaveyou as proper full blown lust.  To properly lust you have to really want to complete the action, as it were.  I don't concentrate on impossibilities (i.e. me and Sandra Bullock...not happening.  Ever.)  Thus, it's not really lust.  It's still sinful, but I'm not sure if it's lust.

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after.  She was married and Orthodox.  I have some boundaries.
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« Reply #710 on: June 15, 2012, 10:46:55 AM »

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after.  She was married and Orthodox.  I have some boundaries.

This is good. The world needs men like you. Men of conscience. Men of principle. Men who can sleep at night.* The world also needs men like me, who would lust after such a woman with the fury of a thousand gods. If there were no wicked men like me, how would anyone discern the goodness of men like you? You're welcome.



(I stole this phrasing from somewhere else, but men like me don't give credit to those who deserve it)
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« Reply #711 on: June 15, 2012, 10:48:08 AM »

ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?

I'm still searching for #1...  angel
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« Reply #712 on: June 15, 2012, 10:49:49 AM »

ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?

I'm still searching for #1...  angel

For you?  Or for vamrat?
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« Reply #713 on: June 15, 2012, 10:51:31 AM »

ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?

I'm still searching for #1...  angel

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already Smiley ).  I mean vamrat's...
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« Reply #714 on: June 15, 2012, 11:10:06 AM »

ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?

I'm still searching for #1...  angel

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already Smiley ).  I mean vamrat's...

I don't even want to know which sea monster you intend to dredge up to defame my choice in women...
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Lord, have mercy! I live under a rock. Alleluia!


« Reply #715 on: June 15, 2012, 11:14:30 AM »

ROTFL laugh laugh laugh laugh

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  Grin?

I'm still searching for #1...  angel

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already Smiley ).  I mean vamrat's...

In that case, I refer you back to my reply #706 above  Grin.  If I'm not mistaken (who, me??) I'm pretty sure the pic is amartin's.  Dead-ringer for Rosie O. Grin
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« Reply #716 on: June 15, 2012, 03:04:10 PM »

Still searching for someone...
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« Reply #717 on: June 15, 2012, 03:27:19 PM »

This thread is so fun.
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« Reply #718 on: June 15, 2012, 05:33:31 PM »



There isn't enough Viagra in the whole world . . .

There are other pictures of her, however, that confuse a certain part of my anatomy.
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« Reply #719 on: June 15, 2012, 05:36:02 PM »

#2 is...



I'm sorry, but that literally scared the stuff out of me.  I am going to sign off so that I can complete a skivvies check.  Thank God I carry a spare pair with me.
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