Whoa! I am totally flabbergasted here and i am going to be harsh, but this is not meant as a personal attack on any of you but rather a vehemient opposition to your ideas … are you guys saying that if the girl is not married yet in a committed relationship of discernment ie has a boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s friend happened to think he likes her and considers her a wife material, then its okay for him to try and get her affection too? Is this the moral of the story? Are you suggesting that as long as they are not married any form of relationship that might lead to the marriage ( since marriage does not occur in a vacuum, both involved had to invest some committed emotional and temporal commitment for it to actually materialize ) is meaningless and a fair game as a person without any kind of relationship?
Girl saying I have a boyfriend ….. is … meaningless?
Guy saying I have a girlfriend is meaningless?
So,In order for it to be meaningful relationship for us, they 1 either have to have sex . 2, have to be married?
The third person looking in can tell himself or herself, that hey its okay they are not married even if I am coveting my brother’s girlfriend, or my sister’s boyfriend. The person might tell themselves that the boyfriend is undeserving of the girl they covet, they think of him as ugly, unrefined, unappreciative of her etc.. and by no means should he have the affection of such a girl the person thinks should reserve her affection only for guys like himself…… and that makes it okay to disrespect the relationship and hurt the brother that obviously has feelings for the girl who is his girlfriend? Is it okay to destroy someone unsuspecting of us, because they trusted us to respect a relationship when we know of its existence and by attempting to seduce and lure the other person for what at the moment we believe to be a “ noble affair” because after all our Machiavellian logic says “ the end justifies the means!” but have we considered that Christ is not Machiavellian and we have to answer for the pain and suffering we have inflicted. An emotional pain: that lasts longer than a pain of a flesh wound.
Yes it is true even the married ones are free to walk away if they decided to, however, if we see that the married person we think is an angel is unhappy, what would we do? Would we swoop in, and offer the fabulous alternative that is ‘ourselves”, or would we help the two to work out their problems? Some have been known to say so and so husband would have never cheated on her if she knew how to take care of him, and so and so’s wife would have never cheated on him if he had been there for her to meet all her needs and keep her happy. That was their excuse for being the third person KNOWINGLY ( this term being the key, whether we knew or not is the point of the entire argument) so Where would it stop… our moral and ethical elasticity? Numero uno can come up with all sorts of pretexts to get what it wants, but to elevate such deceit and betrayal to some kind of Christian obligation or a work of ‘Love’ is going a bit too far, it might insult the intelligence of some people.
Relationships fall apart for number of reasons, but validating the morality of knowingly coveting and interfering with a brother’s girlfriend, or a sister’s boyfriend with the intent of diverting their affection towards the self is immoral by itself, no matter what the end result may be, the means used is immoral as our validation of it. The person we have hurt is Loved by God also, we are not the favorites, with halos around our heads, there is One who is watching our action and knows our intent and he will hold us accountable for such actions.
Something about this reminded me of Marlowe’s The Jew of Malta : “ Thou has committed / Fornication: but that was in another country,/ and besides , the wench is dead”
I am sorry for being so harsh, but exceptions while they may exist, some can never be advocated as valid and right. Conscience should stand in the way of some of our impulses don’t you think?