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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 63928 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #495 on: April 23, 2012, 09:42:45 PM »

There are no vows exchanged in an Orthodox marriage because it is assumed that there is a relationship of mutual fidelity and loyalty between those who approach before they are crowned and drink from the cup.

I suppose I am a sentimentalist for respecting such a relationship before it is formalised.
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« Reply #496 on: April 23, 2012, 09:43:20 PM »

I have to have this girl.
Dude, go get a bicycle and ride it around or something.
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« Reply #497 on: April 23, 2012, 09:44:07 PM »

I have to have this girl.
Dude, go get a bicycle and ride it around or something.

Alternatively, I will trade you my master ball for a shiny charizard.
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« Reply #498 on: April 23, 2012, 09:45:02 PM »

You thought the good Christian girl would have done otherwise?

Honestly, James ...
I think she should seek out the help of a Staretz to confess this grave sin of not immediately leaving her boyfriend for James.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2012, 09:45:17 PM by NicholasMyra » Logged

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« Reply #499 on: April 23, 2012, 09:46:37 PM »

Never mind.
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« Reply #500 on: April 23, 2012, 09:48:41 PM »

Never mind.
You're right, I think Severian should weigh in.  police
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« Reply #501 on: April 23, 2012, 09:54:16 PM »

All right, so basically you gentlemen are telling me that even though she is amazingly hot and goodhearted, I should let it go because not only is she not single, but because it could entirely ruin my relationship with my friend?

For starts, IMHO you "should let it go because not only is she [is] not single".

Otherwise, neither FormerReformer (I assume) nor I know your relationship with your best friend, so take what we say with a grain of salt.  But in my experience "I trust you because you are my best friend" is code word for "go for it if you want but if you do anything to hurt her I will tie you to a bed, emasculate you, amputate your arms and legs with a rusty circular saw, than beat you to death with a wiffle-ball bat".  Just an FYI.

A girl is SINGLE until she is married (or at least engaged).  It explains a lot if you guys think that any female withing 10 feet of a male is somehow not single.  It may explain why you guys are still single.  Thankfully, I stole a girl away from her boyfriend and actually MARRIED her, and we have been together for 31 years.  As to going after your best friend's sister, go for it.  Friends are a liability.  A wife is something to hold on to (and hopefully a REAL friend for you for the rest of your life).  For what it is worth, I have known several guys who have had their best friend cheat with their wife.  That will probably not be a problem with this arrangement.

If you're going to go after a girl with a boyfriend why not one with a husband?  They are only degrees of difference.  In the end it's damaging to someone else.  I may be limiting my operational flexibility, but I'd rather be single.
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« Reply #502 on: April 23, 2012, 09:55:36 PM »

Any advice for dating your best friend's sister? There is no better way to put it; she is absolutely amazing in every way. She's a gorgeous, hot blonde with amazing looks, yet also one of the sweetest, kindest persons I have ever met. She wants to settle down one day with children, she never judges people or talks behind their back as far as I know and she is also extremely religious. The only problem is that she is a 'non-denom' Protestant, however, she seems open minded to Orthodoxy. I have to have this girl. Only problem is she rejected me because she is not single right now Sad

See the bolded part there? Yeah, that's a "no".

Other things to stay away from? Best friend's mom, best friend's ex, best friend's (who are of the feminine persuasion).

I asked my friend and he said it was all right because I'm his best friend and he can trust me. But will it still make things awkward? You don't understand. She's BLONDE and has a good personality. I'm never going to meet a woman who is as beautiful as her yet still so nice. Every other attractive BLONDE woman I have met was not so nice or intelligent. She's a diamond in the rough. Where else am I going to meet an attractive blonde who is actually nice and intelligent?

The parts I've bolder stick out to me.

James, I want you to know that I'm not being condescending when I say this, and I'm definitely not trying to be a jerk, but, what are you? Fifteen? Sixteen? (I can't remember.) If you want to date this girl (after thoughtfully weighing the pros and cons with the best friend situation... And by thoughtfully I mean say, in a cold shower and not while you're in the same room with her), then go for it. But don't put all your eggs in this basket. You have a lot of life yet to live, and a lot of people yet to meet, and a lot of self-discovery yet to do. So yeah, she may seem like the best thing ever that you're never going to top right now, but you need to keep perspective or dating is going to go a lot rougher for you than it has to.

Also- as akimori makoto pointed out, girls aren't things you collect, and that "have to have this girl" line made me go "Blech" when I read it. I wouldn't say it to her, were I you.  Wink
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« Reply #503 on: April 23, 2012, 10:06:49 PM »

All right, so basically you gentlemen are telling me that even though she is amazingly hot and goodhearted, I should let it go because not only is she not single, but because it could entirely ruin my relationship with my friend?

For starts, IMHO you "should let it go because not only is she [is] not single".

Otherwise, neither FormerReformer (I assume) nor I know your relationship with your best friend, so take what we say with a grain of salt.  But in my experience "I trust you because you are my best friend" is code word for "go for it if you want but if you do anything to hurt her I will tie you to a bed, emasculate you, amputate your arms and legs with a rusty circular saw, than beat you to death with a wiffle-ball bat".  Just an FYI.

A girl is SINGLE until she is married (or at least engaged).  It explains a lot if you guys think that any female withing 10 feet of a male is somehow not single.  It may explain why you guys are still single.  Thankfully, I stole a girl away from her boyfriend and actually MARRIED her, and we have been together for 31 years.  As to going after your best friend's sister, go for it.  Friends are a liability.  A wife is something to hold on to (and hopefully a REAL friend for you for the rest of your life).  For what it is worth, I have known several guys who have had their best friend cheat with their wife.  That will probably not be a problem with this arrangement.

If you're going to go after a girl with a boyfriend why not one with a husband?  They are only degrees of difference.  In the end it's damaging to someone else.  I may be limiting my operational flexibility, but I'd rather be single.

Why?  Because one is adultery and the other is not.  If you cannot see the difference, then single you will remain.  Why can I marry and not a monk?  Is it just degrees of difference? NO!  One has taken a vow before God NOT to marry, and the other has not.  Likewise the difference between a boyfriend and a husband (and in the Orthodox understanding, and engaged woman is as good as married).  One has made a PERMANENT commitment, and the other has not.  I have no sympathy for a man that will not commit to a woman, but just goes about with a "why buy the cow" attitude.  He deserves to have her taken by someone who will commit to her.  If he really loved her, he should have married her.  Perhaps a bit old fashioned, but I am not the one looking for a wife.
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« Reply #504 on: April 23, 2012, 10:09:47 PM »

Also- as akimori makoto pointed out, girls aren't things you collect, and that "have to have this girl" line made me go "Blech" when I read it. I wouldn't say it to her, were I you.  Wink

So I take it that this guy doesn't stand a chance with you?  Grin
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« Reply #505 on: April 23, 2012, 10:14:28 PM »

There are no vows exchanged in an Orthodox marriage because it is assumed that there is a relationship of mutual fidelity and loyalty between those who approach before they are crowned and drink from the cup.

I suppose I am a sentimentalist for respecting such a relationship before it is formalised.

Yes, that is what an engagement is for.  No blessing yet, but a definite commitment.  That is why there is a ring.  Were I single, I would stay away from a girl that had either an engagement ring or a wedding band.  However, no band, no commitment (at least not one that I would hesitate to interrupt if the opportunity presented itself).  Besides, no self respecting girl is going to leave a relationship where she is happy.  But, I have seen to many jerks out their that treat their girlfriends like dirt or property.  I would steal a good girl from one of these in a heartbeat and be proud I did it.  Heck, I did.



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« Reply #506 on: April 23, 2012, 10:22:26 PM »

Also- as akimori makoto pointed out, girls aren't things you collect, and that "have to have this girl" line made me go "Blech" when I read it. I wouldn't say it to her, were I you.  Wink

So I take it that this guy doesn't stand a chance with you?  Grin

If someone said that to me in real life, I would pull a Stanley:



 Cheesy
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« Reply #507 on: April 23, 2012, 10:31:46 PM »

There are no vows exchanged in an Orthodox marriage because it is assumed that there is a relationship of mutual fidelity and loyalty between those who approach before they are crowned and drink from the cup.

I suppose I am a sentimentalist for respecting such a relationship before it is formalised.

Besides, no self respecting girl is going to leave a relationship where she is happy.

I guess this is the bottom line, but I still think it's a bit legalistic and untrue to reality to think that, once the ring goes on, some special magic happens which should serve to keep third parties away.
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« Reply #508 on: April 23, 2012, 10:42:55 PM »

All right, so basically you gentlemen are telling me that even though she is amazingly hot and goodhearted, I should let it go because not only is she not single, but because it could entirely ruin my relationship with my friend?

For starts, IMHO you "should let it go because not only is she [is] not single".

Otherwise, neither FormerReformer (I assume) nor I know your relationship with your best friend, so take what we say with a grain of salt.  But in my experience "I trust you because you are my best friend" is code word for "go for it if you want but if you do anything to hurt her I will tie you to a bed, emasculate you, amputate your arms and legs with a rusty circular saw, than beat you to death with a wiffle-ball bat".  Just an FYI.

A girl is SINGLE until she is married (or at least engaged).  It explains a lot if you guys think that any female withing 10 feet of a male is somehow not single.  It may explain why you guys are still single.  Thankfully, I stole a girl away from her boyfriend and actually MARRIED her, and we have been together for 31 years.  As to going after your best friend's sister, go for it.  Friends are a liability.  A wife is something to hold on to (and hopefully a REAL friend for you for the rest of your life).  For what it is worth, I have known several guys who have had their best friend cheat with their wife.  That will probably not be a problem with this arrangement.

If you're going to go after a girl with a boyfriend why not one with a husband?  They are only degrees of difference.  In the end it's damaging to someone else.  I may be limiting my operational flexibility, but I'd rather be single.

Why?  Because one is adultery and the other is not.  If you cannot see the difference, then single you will remain.  Why can I marry and not a monk?  Is it just degrees of difference? NO!  One has taken a vow before God NOT to marry, and the other has not.  Likewise the difference between a boyfriend and a husband (and in the Orthodox understanding, and engaged woman is as good as married).  One has made a PERMANENT commitment, and the other has not.  I have no sympathy for a man that will not commit to a woman, but just goes about with a "why buy the cow" attitude.  He deserves to have her taken by someone who will commit to her.  If he really loved her, he should have married her.  Perhaps a bit old fashioned, but I am not the one looking for a wife.

I wouldn't be trying to get up an Orthodox woman's skirt, married or otherwise.  What about a heretic or a pagan who has no valid sacramental marriage before God?  Are they married? 

If I went after a girl in a relationship there are two possible outcomes.  1- I get shot down.  Despite the frequency that I do this, I do not enjoy it by any stretch of the word like.  I'd just as soon not get in this position.  2- She goes out with me.  If she's with a POS who's treating her poorly and doesn't leave him, she's welcome to him.  If she's not with a POS why would I do that to the guy?  Worst case scenario she's the sort who will run off anytime someone newer or shinier comes along.  What's to stop her doing the same to me?

It's just not worth the effort.  I'm single but there are certainly worse things.  Scaphism and being in a crappy relationship both come to mind.  There are plenty of others.  I'm not complaining because I cannot find a bad relationship.  I am plenty capable of that.  It's that I cannot find a good one.
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« Reply #509 on: April 23, 2012, 10:48:17 PM »

*Sigh* I guess that you're right. It isn't very nice to steal someone else's girlfriend, even if he is some skinny nerd in converse and a beanie. I'll have to find my own girl.
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« Reply #510 on: April 23, 2012, 10:49:25 PM »

*Sigh* I guess that you're right. It isn't very nice to steal someone else's girlfriend, even if he is some skinny nerd in converse and a beanie. I'll have to find my own girl.

Hey, he's the one with the hot girlfriend.

Sorry to pick on you but, honestly, dude ...
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« Reply #511 on: April 23, 2012, 10:50:12 PM »

Re: Dating a girl with a boyfriend

I think there is something to be said for being deliberate. Reading other people's responses got me remembering some of things that I went through when I was around James' age. There was a girl in one of my classes who, for reasons I will never understand (as I was very ineffectual back then), really, really liked me. And she was sweet and cute and all that stuff, but the more I got to know her and see her home life, the more I realized that it would be better to be her friend without expecting or wanting anything more, as it didn't seem to me like she had any friends like that, and she depended a lot on her boyfriends for escape from her very sad home situation. She had a boyfriend at the time (a real piece of work; looked and acted like one of those meathead types who would always try to run me and my friends over in the school parking lot), and knowing what a jerk he was made it kind of hard to listen whenever she said things like "If only I could break up with _____ (boyfriend) without everything going to hell, I would go out with you in a second", which she said a lot (to the point of becoming annoying to me). But again...I had realized, thank God, that I had more to offer as a real friend than as another negative/unstable influence in her life, and besides it is not about me and how I could potentially manipulate a situation to get something out of it.

So I really question this whole "it is okay for me to 'steal' a woman who is with a jerk because he is a jerk" idea. I don't think I'll go as far as saying that it's wrong, full stop (because, after all, had the surrounding circumstances of this girl's life been different, I'd like to think I would have done something different), but I dunno...I like being able to look back on that particular situation and still say now, about 15 years later, that I did the right thing. I heard from the girl (now young woman) in question about 6 months ago for the first time in about 13 years, and it did nothing but confirm that this was the right course of action: She'd been through one spectacularly failed marriage and about a dozen further boyfriends since I last saw her, and followed some of these cretins around the country because she was still in a "relationship-for-rent" kind of arrangement. God bless her, she's doing well now, but man...talk about dodging a bullet. Also, getting a nice e-mail from her saying that she remembers me fondly and hopes I'm doing well...well, not to get too darn sappy, but that means a lot. I know it might be hard to imagine, James, but some things really are better than getting to be with a hot girl for a little while before you drift apart and go to separate colleges, or she dumps you for some guy who's locker is closer to hers, or whatever other reason high school-aged boys and girls have for falling in and out of infatuation with one another.
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« Reply #512 on: April 23, 2012, 10:54:10 PM »

*Sigh* I guess that you're right. It isn't very nice to steal someone else's girlfriend, even if he is some skinny nerd in converse and a beanie. I'll have to find my own girl.

Hey, he's the one with the hot girlfriend.

Sorry to pick on you but, honestly, dude ...

PS: I'm skinny and wear Converse, haha.
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« Reply #513 on: April 23, 2012, 10:59:04 PM »

Oh well, I am out of here.  I will let you lonely hearts try to figure it out on your own.  Heck, what does a 51 year old married guy know about women and love.  Have fun.
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« Reply #514 on: April 23, 2012, 11:08:09 PM »

Woah...I make one or two stupid comments and I get all of this? Eh, I cannot say that it was not well deserved...Okay I'll follow the elderly advice I received in this thread.
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« Reply #515 on: April 23, 2012, 11:14:00 PM »

Woah...I make one or two stupid comments and I get all of this? Eh, I cannot say that it was not well deserved...Okay I'll follow the elderly advice I received in this thread.

Not you.
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« Reply #516 on: April 23, 2012, 11:18:41 PM »

I was referring to everybody, Mr Punch, not you. Also, for some reason since you are very elderly, I feel inclined to respectfully address you as 'Mr.'
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« Reply #517 on: April 23, 2012, 11:25:41 PM »

I was referring to everybody, Mr Punch, not you. Also, for some reason since you are very elderly, I feel inclined to respectfully address you as 'Mr.'
Dude, 51 is elderly?
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« Reply #518 on: April 23, 2012, 11:26:40 PM »

since you are very elderly

LMAO
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« Reply #519 on: April 23, 2012, 11:27:30 PM »

Hahaha, yeah. Very elderly? Punch, were you stowed away on the Titanic?  Wink

Anyway, I bow to your superior knowledge, Punch, but maybe a good lesson to learn (and not just for James) is that love, romance, dating and the like is not a 'one-size-fits-all' deal. After all, my own father is a significant number of years older than you are and is currently working his way toward his fourth divorce, or so goes the family joke (as she is significantly younger than me, his youngest son, and does not have a firm grasp on the English language, none of the rest of the family have high hopes for this one; boy...I don't relish having to go home for the holidays this year...something tells me that dating a friend's sister will have nothing on the awkwardness of our family gatherings come December! Grin)
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« Reply #520 on: April 23, 2012, 11:32:02 PM »

I will trade you my master ball for a shiny charizard.

Geez Akimori; it's a Christian forum, and I'm not sure if what you describe is legal... even in Oz.
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« Reply #521 on: April 24, 2012, 12:04:23 AM »

I will trade you my master ball for a shiny charizard.

Geez Akimori; it's a Christian forum, and I'm not sure if what you describe is legal... even in Oz.

I have ... particular tastes ...
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« Reply #522 on: April 24, 2012, 01:29:02 AM »

I have to have this girl.
Dude, go get a bicycle and ride it around or something.

Alternatively, I will trade you my master ball for a shiny charizard.
Or JamesR can date women like a PokeBall. Gotta catch em all!
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« Reply #523 on: April 24, 2012, 03:49:14 AM »

So I really question this whole "it is okay for me to 'steal' a woman who is with a jerk because he is a jerk" idea.

The thing is, you *can't* steal a woman. He doesn't own her, and if you 'get' her, you won't own her either. Unless you're doing it caveman style with an actual club, all you're actually doing is offering another human being a choice. If the two of them have made a permanent commitment to each other (i.e., engaged much less married) then you shouldn't tempt someone to break that commitment. But if they haven't made that commitment then they are both still free-willed individuals with a right to make their own choices--and a right to know what those choices are. I haven't been married as long as Punch, but, yes, my wife was dating someone else when I first started to pursue her. He didn't properly appreciate what he had, so I had no qualms about doing my best to make her happier than she was.
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« Reply #524 on: April 24, 2012, 11:54:53 AM »


 Shocked   ....and they say women are hard to understand.  Just look at you guys.  Sheesh!
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« Reply #525 on: April 24, 2012, 12:03:40 PM »

What is wrong with you people? It's like John Galt meets Casanova.

When you screw with an existing relationship, you are screwing with people AND THAT IS WRONG. You don't go in and try to persuade someone who is already in a relationship to start dating you. IT IS PLAIN WRONG.

Stop this childish discussion already.
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« Reply #526 on: April 24, 2012, 12:35:14 PM »


 Shocked   ....and they say women are hard to understand.  Just look at you guys.  Sheesh!

Yes, the feminization of the American male is almost complete  Smiley
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« Reply #527 on: April 24, 2012, 12:37:51 PM »


 Shocked   ....and they say women are hard to understand.  Just look at you guys.  Sheesh!

Yes, the feminization of the American male is almost complete  Smiley
There are some holdouts Smiley

PP
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« Reply #528 on: April 24, 2012, 12:44:59 PM »


 Shocked   ....and they say women are hard to understand.  Just look at you guys.  Sheesh!

Yes, the feminization of the American male is almost complete  Smiley

It's a truly sad state of affairs....as what women really want is a man's man!  Wink

As for taking another's girlfriend.....

Remember, she's not married yet.  If she were.....she would most definitely be hands off!

However, if a man (other than her boyfriend) shows interest in her and she reciprocates....then was she truly in love with the original boyfriend?

Boys, when a girl is truly in love....nobody could tear her from  her man.  Women forgive all kinds of crap, put up with all kinds of nonsense, worry, stress....all about their man and whether he still loves her, thinks she's fat, has lost interest....all because we love and want to keep him.

So, if she is not married (or engaged), she is still on the market.

Note to the men.... you shouldn't be having "girlfriends"....you should have a wife!

If you have a girlfriend, then you simply are out for fun, and aren't looking for a marriage.  If you aren't going to marry her, then let her go to someone who hopefully will.

I know it hurts....but, hopefully, the original boyfriend will learn, find a new girl and marry her sooner than later.

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« Reply #529 on: April 24, 2012, 12:53:34 PM »

So I really question this whole "it is okay for me to 'steal' a woman who is with a jerk because he is a jerk" idea.

The thing is, you *can't* steal a woman. He doesn't own her, and if you 'get' her, you won't own her either.

I know that. That's why I put 'steal' in quotes like that. My point was more that it is bad to manipulate situations for your own advantage. Yes, you're offering them a choice which they may freely accept or decline, but as you're coming in from the outside with your own agenda, you can't really appreciate the situation as it is (separate from what you'd like to get out of it), so it's not really honest to frame it as saving a woman from a jerk. To make messing up a pre-existing relationship into some act of chivalry...I don't know...it just seems weird. Unless you're saving her from an abusive relationship, then I don't see what is to be celebrated or encouraged in such behavior, and I suspect that if that were the case, you probably wouldn't date her (out of consideration for her circumstances). I'm not sure that such consideration for the uniqueness of her circumstances goes into every situation in which a man is convinced that he's better than the clod that she's with. It seems like another way of making a woman into an object, but for some reason it is celebrated because the results were positive for the people advocating it in this thread, whereas James' "I must have her" is being looked down upon because it doesn't have a bunch of rationalizations attached to it. Hmm. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, from where I'm sitting. Maybe all men are, at heart, 16 years old. I know I am. Smiley But because of previous experience (retold above), this is not something I would be comfortable with as a general principle.

But again, I'm not sure the circumstances in which James was previously shot down by this girl. If she likes you enough to send the other guy packing, go for it. I've been in that situation before (she broke up with her guy in order to be with me). It didn't work out, but it was worth the effort because it could have worked out, and you don't know until you go for it.

Ahhh, life is weird.
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« Reply #530 on: April 24, 2012, 01:08:20 PM »

My faith that real women are still out there has been restored!  Very well said. 


 Shocked   ....and they say women are hard to understand.  Just look at you guys.  Sheesh!

Yes, the feminization of the American male is almost complete  Smiley

It's a truly sad state of affairs....as what women really want is a man's man!  Wink

As for taking another's girlfriend.....

Remember, she's not married yet.  If she were.....she would most definitely be hands off!

However, if a man (other than her boyfriend) shows interest in her and she reciprocates....then was she truly in love with the original boyfriend?

Boys, when a girl is truly in love....nobody could tear her from  her man.  Women forgive all kinds of crap, put up with all kinds of nonsense, worry, stress....all about their man and whether he still loves her, thinks she's fat, has lost interest....all because we love and want to keep him.

So, if she is not married (or engaged), she is still on the market.

Note to the men.... you shouldn't be having "girlfriends"....you should have a wife!

If you have a girlfriend, then you simply are out for fun, and aren't looking for a marriage.  If you aren't going to marry her, then let her go to someone who hopefully will.

I know it hurts....but, hopefully, the original boyfriend will learn, find a new girl and marry her sooner than later.


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« Reply #531 on: April 24, 2012, 01:16:05 PM »


Ahhh, life is weird.

Not really.  What is weird though, is this thread.  High-schoolers dispensing dating advice is oxymoronic.  Like jumbo shrimp or a cheap, but good pipe.  Thus far, I wouldn't consider any of it 'advice'.  More like 'high-school strategy'.  Older, more mature marrieds believing said teenagers will hear and listen to your advice is naive at best.  Teenagers are waaay cooler than that.  Besides, high-schoolers date high-schoolers and no advice or strategy will work in that confused, pimple-ridden, raging hormone soup.
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« Reply #532 on: April 24, 2012, 01:28:22 PM »

You guys are giving me some killer ideas for future posts.
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« Reply #533 on: April 24, 2012, 02:01:11 PM »

You guys are giving me some killer ideas for future posts.

God save us all...   Wink
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« Reply #534 on: April 24, 2012, 02:04:47 PM »

All right I humble myself before all of you. Are there any final pieces of advice/guidance all of you bickering gentlemen would share with me?
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« Reply #535 on: April 24, 2012, 02:06:00 PM »

All right I humble myself before all of you. Are there any final pieces of advice/guidance all of you bickering gentlemen would share with me?

Don't let your girlfriend/wife date other people. Trust me on this.  police
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« Reply #536 on: April 24, 2012, 02:08:13 PM »

All right I humble myself before all of you. Are there any final pieces of advice/guidance all of you bickering gentlemen would share with me?

Never pet a burning dog.
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« Reply #537 on: April 24, 2012, 02:08:40 PM »


Ahhh, life is weird.

Not really.  What is weird though, is this thread.  High-schoolers dispensing dating advice is oxymoronic.  Like jumbo shrimp or a cheap, but good pipe.  Thus far, I wouldn't consider any of it 'advice'.  More like 'high-school strategy'.  Older, more mature marrieds believing said teenagers will hear and listen to your advice is naive at best.  Teenagers are waaay cooler than that.  Besides, high-schoolers date high-schoolers and no advice or strategy will work in that confused, pimple-ridden, raging hormone soup.

The high-schooler is the one asking the advice.  It seems that the old married people (I don't know how old/married witega is but he's included) are backing up his high school ideas where as the young twenty-somethings are the ones disagreeing with it.

Where do you stand on dating a girl already in a relationship?
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« Reply #538 on: April 24, 2012, 03:02:19 PM »

All right I humble myself before all of you. Are there any final pieces of advice/guidance all of you bickering gentlemen would share with me?

Never pet a burning dog.

What does that mean?
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« Reply #539 on: April 24, 2012, 03:11:39 PM »


Ahhh, life is weird.

Not really.  What is weird though, is this thread.  High-schoolers dispensing dating advice is oxymoronic.  Like jumbo shrimp or a cheap, but good pipe.  Thus far, I wouldn't consider any of it 'advice'.  More like 'high-school strategy'.  Older, more mature marrieds believing said teenagers will hear and listen to your advice is naive at best.  Teenagers are waaay cooler than that.  Besides, high-schoolers date high-schoolers and no advice or strategy will work in that confused, pimple-ridden, raging hormone soup.

The high-schooler is the one asking the advice.  It seems that the old married people (I don't know how old/married witega is but he's included) are backing up his high school ideas where as the young twenty-somethings are the ones disagreeing with it.

Where do you stand on dating a girl already in a relationship?

 I was speaking in general terms, but based on many of the replies and advice, I think my assessment sticks.  Re: dating a girl already in a relationship?  First off, I'm married and my wife would lay hell down on me if I even considered it.  Smiley  But seriously, I wouldn't attempt it because it's messy, too prone for drama, and I'm of the school that sees relationships should form more organically than attempt some sort of relationship coup.
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