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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 62881 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2011, 01:09:54 PM »

Quote
If God had intended for men to listen to women, he would have put loudspeakers on their chest

*applauds*

PP
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« Reply #46 on: August 01, 2011, 01:13:41 PM »

This is the best thread ever on here.  Thank you. 
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« Reply #47 on: August 01, 2011, 10:48:52 PM »

Dear Readers,

I will not be posting in this thread during the fast due the tone and nature of possible posts. But fear not, I will return to help you poor souls who have taken more ribbing than Adam for being alone with no mate to show for it, except for that 13 year old kid in Australia you play Red Dead Redemption with online.

Till then,

Orthonorm

I don't mean to undo the jovial tone of this thread but, in the spirit of this post, can we please remember that loneliness of this kind is a source of intense psychic and spiritual pain for many people? Others struggle with all sorts of other life issues/disabilities/disadvantages which contribute to them being unable to remedy that pain as easily as someone possessing different gifts might (am I being too oblique?).

May the fast bring great healing to all of us.

On a more serious note, I used to have that problem.  With being lonely all the time, perhaps to some extent I still do.  I am so much of a "perfectionist" at everything, and I would somehow decide to develop "feelings" for girls before I ever even got to know them as people.  Perhaps all I had a "crush" over was a graven image I formed in my mind, but not who any of these girls really were. 

  The great majority of the females I would usually decide that I liked, never really reciprocated those feelings for various reasons.  I had always had issues with self-esteem growing up, so I guess overtime I've just given up on even wanting to talk and get to know women.  I suppose a part of me already seriously believes that it's destined to fail no matter what I do, so perhaps I should just go and become a monk or something..

  Yet in spite of all of this, it seems that when you deal with self esteem issues -- your spiritual life becomes increased.  You start to develop a faith and trust in God to pull you out of your own internal struggles.. but I could never trust him when it came to girls.  For some reason my spiritual nature would rather run away from this world and everything in it because it's too "painful", and the only source of everlasting comfort is with God and the angels and the saints. 

So why should anyone feel lonely anyways?  We have angels, and saints -- and we have icons to remind us of that.  We have prayer, and fasting.. and we have confession for everytime we fail and offend our Creator.  Somehow I end up offending him every day, but oh well.. 

These are just my rambling thoughts on the subject of "relationships" with the opposite sex; and why I seem to have given up on them. 
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« Reply #48 on: August 01, 2011, 11:00:01 PM »

Moderators, maybe we could have a new thread so as to avoid dragging this one down?
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« Reply #49 on: August 02, 2011, 12:10:02 AM »

Dear Readers,

I will not be posting in this thread during the fast due the tone and nature of possible posts. But fear not, I will return to help you poor souls who have taken more ribbing than Adam for being alone with no mate to show for it, except for that 13 year old kid in Australia you play Red Dead Redemption with online.

Till then,

Orthonorm

I don't mean to undo the jovial tone of this thread but, in the spirit of this post, can we please remember that loneliness of this kind is a source of intense psychic and spiritual pain for many people? Others struggle with all sorts of other life issues/disabilities/disadvantages which contribute to them being unable to remedy that pain as easily as someone possessing different gifts might (am I being too oblique?).

May the fast bring great healing to all of us.

Some of us make a mockery of the issue to remedy the pain.   Wink
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« Reply #50 on: August 02, 2011, 06:35:09 AM »

Dear Readers,

I will not be posting in this thread during the fast due the tone and nature of possible posts. But fear not, I will return to help you poor souls who have taken more ribbing than Adam for being alone with no mate to show for it, except for that 13 year old kid in Australia you play Red Dead Redemption with online.

Till then,

Orthonorm

I don't mean to undo the jovial tone of this thread but, in the spirit of this post, can we please remember that loneliness of this kind is a source of intense psychic and spiritual pain for many people? Others struggle with all sorts of other life issues/disabilities/disadvantages which contribute to them being unable to remedy that pain as easily as someone possessing different gifts might (am I being too oblique?).

May the fast bring great healing to all of us.

Some of us make a mockery of the issue to remedy the pain.   Wink

Others of us just like to mock. Wink
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« Reply #51 on: August 02, 2011, 07:40:47 AM »

Moderators, maybe we could have a new thread so as to avoid dragging this one down?

Or contrarywise not to mix somewhat serious playfulness, with serious painfulness as to seem "mocking" those who wish to sincerely and seriously tell their stories and problems.

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« Reply #52 on: August 02, 2011, 09:21:19 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
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« Reply #53 on: August 02, 2011, 09:25:56 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
Hey, you know what? It's good to mention that you can't handle the heat up front. Make sure to mention that on your first date because gals like to have the ability to talk back and have their voices heard in a relationship! So shocking, but there it is.
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« Reply #54 on: August 02, 2011, 09:30:11 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
Hey, you know what? It's good to mention that you can't handle the heat up front. Make sure to mention that on your first date because gals like to have the ability to talk back and have their voices heard in a relationship! So shocking, but there it is.

Women like to talk? I had no idea!  Shocked
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« Reply #55 on: August 02, 2011, 09:31:10 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
Hey, you know what? It's good to mention that you can't handle the heat up front. Make sure to mention that on your first date because gals like to have the ability to talk back and have their voices heard in a relationship! So shocking, but there it is.

I've read feminist literature by hard feminists.  The "equality" bit is a smokescreen.  The TRUE FACE of feminism is to destroy family life and dominate men.
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« Reply #56 on: August 02, 2011, 09:31:56 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
Hey, you know what? It's good to mention that you can't handle the heat up front. Make sure to mention that on your first date because gals like to have the ability to talk back and have their voices heard in a relationship! So shocking, but there it is.

Women like to talk? I had no idea!  Shocked

It's news to me, too! Wink
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« Reply #57 on: August 02, 2011, 09:36:36 AM »

Surely you know that I jest.

I have some advice, perhaps a short anecdote about Mr. Ismi and I (for those males who want to date and marry crazy, feminist, Christian women) but I dare not venture on Mr. Casanova's turf, except to throw off a few snarky lines here and there.  Wink Carry on!

Never marry a feminist of any brand, unless you want to be doing heavy penance and be very miserable for the rest of your life......
Hey, you know what? It's good to mention that you can't handle the heat up front. Make sure to mention that on your first date because gals like to have the ability to talk back and have their voices heard in a relationship! So shocking, but there it is.

I've read feminist literature by hard feminists.  The "equality" bit is a smokescreen.  The TRUE FACE of feminism is to destroy family life and dominate men.
Well you know that, much like Christians, there are a very broad range of women who identify as feminist, right?

Last word on the subject. I don't want to really de-rail this thread into a "All women who support other women are feminazis!" discussion.

Men, you are going to have to at least put up (or learn how to look like you're listening) with our sometimes idle, mostly valuable chatter if you want a relationship to succeed.  Tongue
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« Reply #58 on: August 02, 2011, 09:52:56 AM »

Men, you are going to have to at least put up (or learn how to look like you're listening) with our sometimes idle, mostly valuable chatter if you want a relationship to succeed.  Tongue

Interestingly, one reason I like female therapists is that they're willing to sit and listen. Male therapists just talk too much: they think they can identify all your problems, formulate brilliant solutions in seconds, and then spend the next 47 sessions talking you through how to implement their full-proof solutions. Guys are so annoying, amirite?  Grin
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« Reply #59 on: August 02, 2011, 09:55:45 AM »

By nature, men are fixer-uppers (I don't like stereotyping, but this one is true in almost every man I've met).

Which is great, unless we happen to be crying at the moment.  laugh
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« Reply #60 on: August 02, 2011, 10:48:46 AM »

Which is great, unless we happen to be crying at the moment.  laugh

If you had told me this about three years ago my life would have been much less complicated. 

For the record, guys, when the woman is crying she does not want rational solutions to her problems, she wants to vent.  If you are lucky and she called you whilst crying this is a good opportunity to keep up on personal hygiene, check the forum, or file your taxes.  Because all you really need to say is, "Yes...uh huh...I'm sorry".  Anything more and you are being "patronizing".  If she is actually there in person you can use the same words above, just you will need to appear focused.  If you are the reason she is crying...feign death.  It works 35% of the time.
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« Reply #61 on: August 02, 2011, 11:04:42 AM »

I've read feminist literature by hard feminists.  The "equality" bit is a smokescreen.  The TRUE FACE of feminism is to destroy family life and dominate men.

REAL feminists appear more manly than most men, and so are only attractive to homosexuals.  "Feminism" should really be renamed "Feminomachism", as the movement does not exalt the unique natural gifts, blessings, and uniqueness of womanhood but rather seeks to obliterate womanhood and motherhood in favor of creating the new and improved feMAN for a new and improved universe that is without children, without parenting, without love, and without beauty.
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« Reply #62 on: August 02, 2011, 11:06:58 AM »

Which is great, unless we happen to be crying at the moment.  laugh

If you had told me this about three years ago my life would have been much less complicated. 

For the record, guys, when the woman is crying she does not want rational solutions to her problems, she wants to vent she wants you to be miserable, too.
 

Fixed that for you.
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« Reply #63 on: August 02, 2011, 11:10:14 AM »

I've read feminist literature by hard feminists.  The "equality" bit is a smokescreen.  The TRUE FACE of feminism is to destroy family life and dominate men.

REAL feminists appear more manly than most men, and so are only attractive to homosexuals.  "Feminism" should really be renamed "Feminomachism", as the movement does not exalt the unique natural gifts, blessings, and uniqueness of womanhood but rather seeks to obliterate womanhood and motherhood in favor of creating the new and improved feMAN for a new and improved universe that is without children, without parenting, without love, and without beauty.

Feminism is nothing other than a modern name for penis envy.  And IsmiLiora is correct, there are degrees within the disorder.
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« Reply #64 on: August 02, 2011, 11:12:45 AM »

For the record, IsmiLiora is actually right about the crying. Keep your mouth shut and offer her your shoulder. It's amazing when you learn this is how it works, since it takes the whole burden off of actually having to deal with her problem. Cheesy
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« Reply #65 on: August 02, 2011, 11:30:28 AM »

I've read feminist literature by hard feminists.  The "equality" bit is a smokescreen.  The TRUE FACE of feminism is to destroy family life and dominate men.

REAL feminists appear more manly than most men, and so are only attractive to homosexuals.  "Feminism" should really be renamed "Feminomachism", as the movement does not exalt the unique natural gifts, blessings, and uniqueness of womanhood but rather seeks to obliterate womanhood and motherhood in favor of creating the new and improved feMAN for a new and improved universe that is without children, without parenting, without love, and without beauty.

I disagree.  Feminism teaches women to be selfish, a la Tyra, Oprah and other TV whackos.   I know of a lot of die hard feminists here in the DC area who are darned good looking cojone-busters.  Anyone here not heard of the book called, "The Rules"?
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« Reply #66 on: August 02, 2011, 12:49:52 PM »

For the record, IsmiLiora is actually right about the crying. Keep your mouth shut and offer her your shoulder. It's amazing when you learn this is how it works, since it takes the whole burden off of actually having to deal with her problem. Cheesy

The problem will have to be dealt with eventually, so no burden has been removed, only put off to a later date.  IsmiLiora is also correct about most men being fixers.  To add to that, they are also literal.  If we ask "what is the problem" and you say "nothing", then there is nothing wrong . . . period.  That is how it works, deal with it.  Otherwise, learn not to lie to us.  If we ask "what is wrong" and you respond with "I just need someone to talk to / vent to / to listen to me, you will be amazed at how many of us will take the time to do so, because to us, that IS solving the problem. 

The women that I respect the most are the ones that are direct and let you know what they want.  And they don't have to be radical feminists to do so.  I have no use for the "complex" type that like to play mind games and try to have me guess at what they want.  There are too many people out there with needs for me to take the time to play stupid mind games.  I spend a lot of my time dealing with people's problems as part of my job, and a large portion of them are women.  The time I spend "decoding" some emo's problems is time that could be spent helping someone else.  Thankfully, most of the women that I deal with have learned to be direct and up front.  I don't judge, and I don't consider anyone's problem to be stupid or trivial.  They are the most important thing that particular person has to deal with at the moment.  But I can't (and probably won't) help you if all you want to do is play games and get attention. 

I have found that many "attention whores" are small minded and selfish people who's "problems" would go away if they got over themselves and spent as much time trying to help others as they spend feeling sorry for themselves.  Then there are those with real problems (and loneliness is a very real problem).  Those are the ones who need the help and need the time and attention, often a lot of time and attention.  To me, it is time well spent.  Nothing hurts my heart more than to see a kind person who gives of themselves to others yet receives nothing in return.  I really hope that the All-merciful God has a special place in heaven for these people because they have suffered enough here on Earth.
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« Reply #67 on: August 02, 2011, 12:53:36 PM »

For the record, IsmiLiora is actually right about the crying. Keep your mouth shut and offer her your shoulder. It's amazing when you learn this is how it works, since it takes the whole burden off of actually having to deal with her problem. Cheesy

The problem will have to be dealt with eventually, so no burden has been removed, only put off to a later date.  IsmiLiora is also correct about most men being fixers.  To add to that, they are also literal.  If we ask "what is the problem" and you say "nothing", then there is nothing wrong . . . period.  That is how it works, deal with it.  Otherwise, learn not to lie to us.  If we ask "what is wrong" and you respond with "I just need someone to talk to / vent to / to listen to me, you will be amazed at how many of us will take the time to do so, because to us, that IS solving the problem. 

The women that I respect the most are the ones that are direct and let you know what they want.  And they don't have to be radical feminists to do so.  I have no use for the "complex" type that like to play mind games and try to have me guess at what they want.  There are too many people out there with needs for me to take the time to play stupid mind games.  I spend a lot of my time dealing with people's problems as part of my job, and a large portion of them are women.  The time I spend "decoding" some emo's problems is time that could be spent helping someone else.  Thankfully, most of the women that I deal with have learned to be direct and up front.  I don't judge, and I don't consider anyone's problem to be stupid or trivial.  They are the most important thing that particular person has to deal with at the moment.  But I can't (and probably won't) help you if all you want to do is play games and get attention. 

I have found that many "attention whores" are small minded and selfish people who's "problems" would go away if they got over themselves and spent as much time trying to help others as they spend feeling sorry for themselves.  Then there are those with real problems (and loneliness is a very real problem).  Those are the ones who need the help and need the time and attention, often a lot of time and attention.  To me, it is time well spent.  Nothing hurts my heart more than to see a kind person who gives of themselves to others yet receives nothing in return.  I really hope that the All-merciful God has a special place in heaven for these people because they have suffered enough here on Earth.

Whoa.  Shocked
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« Reply #68 on: August 02, 2011, 01:34:26 PM »

Was it Albert Ellis who said:

"There are just two rules when a husband and wife disagree or quarrel:

1. The wife is right.
2. The sooner the husband recognizes (1), the better."
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« Reply #69 on: August 02, 2011, 01:38:00 PM »

will someone delete my previous post or move it somewhere for more of a serious chat..?  Perhaps the Free-for-All..? I'm not sure, oh well.  I forgot that "Other Topics" was a place for silliness  Tongue Smiley @ moderator(s)
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« Reply #70 on: August 02, 2011, 01:56:05 PM »

will someone delete my previous post or move it somewhere for more of a serious chat..?  Perhaps the Free-for-All..? I'm not sure, oh well.  I forgot that "Other Topics" was a place for silliness  Tongue Smiley @ moderator(s)

No.  Your statement has entered the ring and must now fight for it's life.  Two go in, one comes out!  Break a deal, face the wheel!
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« Reply #71 on: August 02, 2011, 01:59:22 PM »

About the "feminist" thing:

I've found that some folks (men AND women) like to throw around the "feminist" label just because a woman doesn't fit their mental image of how a woman should behave/look.

Just because a woman has short hair (my hair is unmanageable when long), speaks her mind/is rather direct, is well-read, and holds leadership positions - well, that doesn't mean she's a feminist. I'm very conservative, but the people who try to stick the "feminist" label to me don't bother to look beyond the short hair and my mouth. I've also been called a "feminist" because I'm in my early 40s and never married. It doesn't occur to them that I've not met the right guy. I had one guy (Eastern European immigrant, very, very old-school mindset) call me a "feminist" for being the head of my parish's sisterhood!

To some people, short hair automatically equals lesbian. For heaven's sake, people! Roll Eyes

And just because I've gotten my college degree and been able to support myself for more than the last 15 years and didn't roll over and play dead because I didn't find a husband - well, I'm practical. Should I have mooched off my parents instead of supporting myself?

<rant>


One of my pet peeves...
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« Reply #72 on: August 02, 2011, 02:12:56 PM »

Was it Albert Ellis who said:

"There are just two rules when a husband and wife disagree or quarrel:

1. The wife is right.
2. The sooner the husband recognizes (1), the better."

He had serial marriages and was a notorious philanderer.

Based on these posts I am reading, boy, do I have my work cut out for me, when the Fast ends . . .
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« Reply #73 on: August 02, 2011, 02:14:25 PM »

[Sorry, orthonorm. I really tried. Maybe a mod can split this thread?]

And not to compare myself to your looks or status, but all I had to do was use the word "feminist" and it suddenly drew comparisons of certain women and stereotypes.

I'm married with a husband that doesn't consider himself feminist but listens to my views and enjoys debating with me, I am fascinated with the beauty industry and have considered becoming a freelance makeup artist, my hair is long (just working with stereotypes here, nothing wrong either way). I wear dresses and skirts all of the time, and dabble in reading about fashion history. I consider myself a fairly conservative Christian. I'm personally pro-life, I don't believe in affirmative action policies, etc.

Now, how many of the men were picturing that? Honestly. And even if a woman is their "picture" of a feminist, physically, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that either. I'm just pointing out that even saying the word "feminist" probably sounds like Rush Limbaugh's voice in your heads, and conjures up images of Janet Napolitano and Hillary Clinton. Which is completely expected, in my opinion.

There are different ways of approaching feminism and women's studies, and while most feminists would laugh me out of the room for considering myself one, there you are. I've stopped worrying about what they think.

And I don't need men patronizing me and telling me that they don't want a feminist but a straightforward, non-complex gal. You know what? Good luck finding one. You'll find a lot of straight shooters who also can be introspective and whose feelings and opinions may change in certain situations. We're not one dimensional, thank God. That's one of the wonderful things about being a woman. Men should balance us out and we should balance them out. (ETA: I am talking about general characteristics, which will definitely differ depending on the individual)

PS: I am refusing to debate on any politics that arise from my "feminist" beliefs on this thread and I am only posting in general. PM me if you must discuss this further.
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« Reply #74 on: August 02, 2011, 02:41:42 PM »

Was it Albert Ellis who said:

"There are just two rules when a husband and wife disagree or quarrel:

1. The wife is right.
2. The sooner the husband recognizes (1), the better."

He had serial marriages and was a notorious philanderer.

Based on these posts I am reading, boy, do I have my work cut out for me, when the Fast ends . . .

Don't worry boys and girls, Vamrat is an Old Calendarist, so I will keep up lessons while Orthonorm is away.

Feel free to ask any questions you have on the miracle of dating and I will answer them honestly and to the best of my ability.  Then you can pretty much ignore my advice and you will be on the right track!

Lesson I: If her father has a shotgun, what should you do?
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« Reply #75 on: August 02, 2011, 02:48:35 PM »

By nature, men are fixer-uppers (I don't like stereotyping, but this one is true in almost every man I've met).

Which is great, unless we happen to be crying at the moment.  laugh
But it's a leak!

You fix leaks.  police
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« Reply #76 on: August 02, 2011, 02:52:33 PM »

About the "feminist" thing:

I've found that some folks (men AND women) like to throw around the "feminist" label just because a woman doesn't fit their mental image of how a woman should behave/look.

Just because a woman has short hair (my hair is unmanageable when long), speaks her mind/is rather direct, is well-read, and holds leadership positions - well, that doesn't mean she's a feminist. I'm very conservative, but the people who try to stick the "feminist" label to me don't bother to look beyond the short hair and my mouth. I've also been called a "feminist" because I'm in my early 40s and never married. It doesn't occur to them that I've not met the right guy. I had one guy (Eastern European immigrant, very, very old-school mindset) call me a "feminist" for being the head of my parish's sisterhood!

To some people, short hair automatically equals lesbian. For heaven's sake, people! Roll Eyes

And just because I've gotten my college degree and been able to support myself for more than the last 15 years and didn't roll over and play dead because I didn't find a husband - well, I'm practical. Should I have mooched off my parents instead of supporting myself?

<rant>


One of my pet peeves...

One man's feminist is another man's marriage prospect...

Short Hair - Personal taste, really, and I for one leave this up to the person who has to have the hair.
Direct Speaking - Thank God
Well Read - +1
Educated - +2
Leadership Positions - Someone has to do it, eh?
Conservative - By definition you are not a Femifascist

Keep your chin up, haters gonna hate.
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« Reply #77 on: August 02, 2011, 03:09:51 PM »

^^ Exactly! Grin

And NicholasMyra, you guys don't just want to put a plug into the leak. I'm crying and you all are putting out the choices of the 3 pipe replacement options that are available. Wink
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« Reply #78 on: August 02, 2011, 03:21:08 PM »

Gloria: [in bed] Honey? My mouth is dry. Honey. I'm thirsty.

Billy: Umm... [gets some water] ... There you go, honey.

Gloria: When I said I was thirsty, it doesn't mean I want a glass of water.

Billy: It doesn't?
  
Gloria: You're missing the whole point of me saying I'm thirsty. If I have a problem you're not supposed to solve it. Men always make the mistake of thinking they can solve a woman's problem. It makes them feel omnipotent.

Billy: Omnipotent? Did you have a bad dream?
  
Gloria: It's a way of controlling a woman.

Billy: Bringing them a glass of water?

Gloria: Yes. I read it in a magazine. See, if I'm thirsty, I don't want a glass of water. I want you to sympathize. I want you to say: ''Gloria, I, too, know what it feels like to be thirsty. I, too, have had a dry mouth." I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness.  
                  
Billy: This is all in the same magazine?

Gloria: You're into control.

Billy: Shut up.

Gloria: See? You make me sick. [turns over in bed]
« Last Edit: August 02, 2011, 03:23:13 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #79 on: August 02, 2011, 03:34:23 PM »

^^ Exactly! Grin

And NicholasMyra, you guys don't just want to put a plug into the leak. I'm crying and you all are putting out the choices of the 3 pipe replacement options that are available. Wink
Oh, no. Putting the choices out there is limp-wristed flip-flopping; a sad consequence of the 21st century man's ethos, what with his hipster scarves and his scented body washes.

No, a real man breaks out the trowel and lays on that pipe sealer therapy appointment with bountiful, excessive Van-Gough strokes.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2011, 03:35:30 PM by NicholasMyra » Logged

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« Reply #80 on: August 03, 2011, 10:56:21 AM »

About the "feminist" thing:

Just because a woman has short hair (my hair is unmanageable when long), speaks her mind/is rather direct, is well-read, and holds leadership positions - well, that doesn't mean she's a feminist. I'm very conservative, but the people who try to stick the "feminist" label to me don't bother to look beyond the short hair and my mouth. I've also been called a "feminist" because I'm in my early 40s and never married. It doesn't occur to them that I've not met the right guy. I had one guy (Eastern European immigrant, very, very old-school mindset) call me a "feminist" for being the head of my parish's sisterhood!

To some people, short hair automatically equals lesbian. For heaven's sake, people! Roll Eyes

And just because I've gotten my college degree and been able to support myself for more than the last 15 years and didn't roll over and play dead because I didn't find a husband - well, I'm practical. Should I have mooched off my parents instead of supporting myself?


Agree.   Feminism is an attitude, not a hairstyle. 
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« Reply #81 on: August 03, 2011, 11:00:04 AM »

^^ Exactly! Grin

And NicholasMyra, you guys don't just want to put a plug into the leak. I'm crying and you all are putting out the choices of the 3 pipe replacement options that are available. Wink

As a Maintenance Planner in a Nuclear Power Plant for 10 years, and a Failure Analyst in Engineering in the same plant for 12 previous years, I can assure you that plugging a leaking pipe is only a temporary fix.  When a pipe keeps leaking over and over again, it really needs to be replaced.  And if you replace it the first time it leaks, it saves a lot of work in the future, since most pipe leaks tend to damage a lot of equipment in the area of the leak.
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« Reply #82 on: August 03, 2011, 03:23:54 PM »

Question #2: I was walking down the street today and a woman said to me "Hey hun, you lookin for a good time?" She looked like she was sick and hadn't ate a good meal in months; she wasn't much of a looker either. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am looking for a good time. Like maybe some bowling, or even a leisurely night playing canasta. What should I do? Should I go find her and ask her to join me?
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« Reply #83 on: August 03, 2011, 04:04:31 PM »

Question #2: I was walking down the street today and a woman said to me "Hey hun, you lookin for a good time?" She looked like she was sick and hadn't ate a good meal in months; she wasn't much of a looker either. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am looking for a good time. Like maybe some bowling, or even a leisurely night playing canasta. What should I do? Should I go find her and ask her to join me?

Go for it.  You see, she is likely the sort who will do anything you ask her to do for the right amount of compensation, and would not ask any questions.  One caveat, you should really check her mouth first.  If she has all her teeth she is most likely a police officer, and I don't think you telling them that you were only interested in bowling or canasta would fly, even if that was your actual intent, and I am sure it is!    Cheesy

Happy to help as always,

Dr. Vamrat.
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« Reply #84 on: August 03, 2011, 07:38:35 PM »

Question #2: I was walking down the street today and a woman said to me "Hey hun, you lookin for a good time?" She looked like she was sick and hadn't ate a good meal in months; she wasn't much of a looker either. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am looking for a good time. Like maybe some bowling, or even a leisurely night playing canasta. What should I do? Should I go find her and ask her to join me?

I feel for these people.  I would tell her "here, take this 20 and get something to eat".  That would make me feel much better than I would feel trying to nurse a case of ghonaherpasyphilitis with a little Hepatitis A through Z thrown in.
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« Reply #85 on: August 03, 2011, 10:42:17 PM »

About the "feminist" thing:

I've found that some folks (men AND women) like to throw around the "feminist" label just because a woman doesn't fit their mental image of how a woman should behave/look.

Just because a woman has short hair (my hair is unmanageable when long), speaks her mind/is rather direct, is well-read, and holds leadership positions - well, that doesn't mean she's a feminist. I'm very conservative, but the people who try to stick the "feminist" label to me don't bother to look beyond the short hair and my mouth. I've also been called a "feminist" because I'm in my early 40s and never married. It doesn't occur to them that I've not met the right guy. I had one guy (Eastern European immigrant, very, very old-school mindset) call me a "feminist" for being the head of my parish's sisterhood!

To some people, short hair automatically equals lesbian. For heaven's sake, people! Roll Eyes

And just because I've gotten my college degree and been able to support myself for more than the last 15 years and didn't roll over and play dead because I didn't find a husband - well, I'm practical. Should I have mooched off my parents instead of supporting myself?

<rant>


One of my pet peeves...

One man's feminist is another man's marriage prospect...

Short Hair - Personal taste, really, and I for one leave this up to the person who has to have the hair.
Direct Speaking - Thank God
Well Read - +1
Educated - +2
Leadership Positions - Someone has to do it, eh?
Conservative - By definition you are not a Femifascist

Keep your chin up, haters gonna hate.

Leadership positions: yes, SOMEONE has to do it, and well, a combo of my mouth and having organizational ability tends to get one thrust into leadership positions. Grin
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« Reply #86 on: August 10, 2011, 01:21:54 PM »

Question #3: There is an adult book store in my town, and I've been thinking about stopping in. I thought that perhaps if I bought some books there I could learn how to class things up a bit and treat a woman better. I would prefer more academic books, not those self-help kind, but I'm not sure where to start. Can you suggest some authors--preferrably people with college education in the field, but who also have real life experience--that I will probably find in my local store? Thanks!
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 01:22:48 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #87 on: August 11, 2011, 03:11:37 PM »

Question #4: I finally got a response from this online dating service I found, fetfriends.com, but I'm a bit confused and want your advice. This woman asked me a bunch of questions, and I don't know how to respond. First she asked me what my hard limits are. I haven't really messed with computers for years, what software/application do you think she is asking about? Second she asked me if I had ever been collared, which is really strange! I mean, I went to a party dressed as a dog one halloween, but how did she know that? Third she asked if I liked water sports, which I do, but since neither of us are near the ocean, or even a large lake, I don't get why she would ask that. And finally she said she was a switch. I think it was a typo and she meant witch. I don't really want to date a witch though. What do I do?
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« Reply #88 on: August 11, 2011, 03:31:50 PM »

...why.
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« Reply #89 on: August 11, 2011, 03:35:38 PM »

Question #4: I finally got a response from this online dating service I found, fetfriends.com, but I'm a bit confused and want your advice. This woman asked me a bunch of questions, and I don't know how to respond. First she asked me what my hard limits are. I haven't really messed with computers for years, what software/application do you think she is asking about? Second she asked me if I had ever been collared, which is really strange! I mean, I went to a party dressed as a dog one halloween, but how did she know that? Third she asked if I liked water sports, which I do, but since neither of us are near the ocean, or even a large lake, I don't get why she would ask that. And finally she said she was a switch. I think it was a typo and she meant witch. I don't really want to date a witch though. What do I do?

Why are you messing with her if you don't know what she is saying?
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