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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 59657 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #2205 on: January 03, 2014, 11:53:12 PM »

Beatrice Arthur

I had a college roommate who had an excessive, almost fetishistic interest in Bea Arthur.  He used to talk about wanting to ask her out, hook up with her, do the honourable thing and marry her, etc.  

Wow. Creepy roommate story of the month. (You said college, so I'm just assuming this wasn't at seminary--with all apologies to augustin for stealing his thunder.)
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« Reply #2206 on: January 04, 2014, 12:00:29 AM »

Beatrice Arthur

I had a college roommate who had an excessive, almost fetishistic interest in Bea Arthur.  He used to talk about wanting to ask her out, hook up with her, do the honourable thing and marry her, etc.  

Did he like Maude or the Golden Girls?
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« Reply #2207 on: January 04, 2014, 12:00:35 AM »

(You said college, so I'm just assuming this wasn't at seminary--with all apologies to augustin for stealing his thunder.)

LOL.  Yes, definitely college.  
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« Reply #2208 on: January 04, 2014, 12:01:29 AM »

Did he like Maude or the Golden Girls?

He never mentioned the former, but he was all about the latter. 
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« Reply #2209 on: January 04, 2014, 03:37:29 PM »

I think that monogamy is an unnatural feminist invention that benefits females much more than it does men because it ensures that they have someone to take care of them and their offspring because the politically incorrect biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible to keep the population alive.

Come at me Arachne.

In all reality, I think that while monogamy is biologically unnatural, it's probably the best, fairest institution for both parties because polygamy reduces the diversity of the gene pool and polyandry screws a man over into taking care of a child that's not his.  At least in monogamy, you're both equally miserable.

No way.  Haven't you ever read about the FLDS groups?  They are constantly kicking males out of the group because the top dogs are getting all the females.  Chances are, unless you can figure out a way to get to the top of the food chain, you are going to be one of the males who get no action at all. Monogamy spreads it out so a wider population of males have access to breeding.

Monogamy is actually a male chauvinistic ideology to ensure female submission and prevent them from banding together in packs and plotting against us. Read the back of your man card!  It is in the fine print.
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« Reply #2210 on: January 04, 2014, 04:22:36 PM »

I think that monogamy is an unnatural feminist invention that benefits females much more than it does men because it ensures that they have someone to take care of them and their offspring because the politically incorrect biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible to keep the population alive.

Come at me Arachne.

In all reality, I think that while monogamy is biologically unnatural, it's probably the best, fairest institution for both parties because polygamy reduces the diversity of the gene pool and polyandry screws a man over into taking care of a child that's not his.  At least in monogamy, you're both equally miserable.

No way.  Haven't you ever read about the FLDS groups?  They are constantly kicking males out of the group because the top dogs are getting all the females.  Chances are, unless you can figure out a way to get to the top of the food chain, you are going to be one of the males who get no action at all. Monogamy spreads it out so a wider population of males have access to breeding.

That sort of polygamy unnatural as well. I don't believe that commitment itself is a biologically natural thing--whether polygamous or monogamous. I believe that biologically speaking, humans would either be like chimpanzees where we all just wildly mate with each other every season and there's no competition (because there's no long term commitment), or we'd be serially monogamous like bears where we stay together for a few months to a couple years before splitting up and repeating the same process with someone else.

Commitment--especially in a polygamous context--ruins the gene pool through lack of diversity. And the human gene pool is already extremely closed and lacks diversity.

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Monogamy is actually a male chauvinistic ideology to ensure female submission and prevent them from banding together in packs and plotting against us. Read the back of your man card!  It is in the fine print.

I disagree. Monogamy is a feminist invention to ensure that females have someone to take care of them because they can't hunt or gather food when they're pregnant. The biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible and then either bail or at only stay with the female during pregnancy until the baby is born and then raising it becomes her responsibility.

Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right....This is just the politically incorrect conclusions that biology has led me to. Morally speaking, I think that monogamy works best for society because it protects diversity in the gene pool and ensures children are taken care of. But, it's entirely unnatural.
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« Reply #2211 on: January 04, 2014, 04:28:05 PM »

Morally speaking, I think that monogamy works best for society because it protects diversity in the gene pool and ensures children are taken care of. But, it's entirely unnatural.

1.  Tell it to Jesus.

2.  Weren't you the one arguing a while back that if something happens in nature, it is natural?  How, then, is monogamy "entirely unnatural"?  It is at least as natural as polygamy. 

Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right...

Truer words were never spoken...
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« Reply #2212 on: January 04, 2014, 05:50:17 PM »

Wait... Do you want to mate wildly for genetic diversity or get a vasectomy and skip proliferating your DNA?
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« Reply #2213 on: January 04, 2014, 05:56:04 PM »

Wait... Do you want to mate wildly for genetic diversity or get a vasectomy and skip proliferating your DNA?
I'd say opt for the vasectomy if he wants to mate everyone. No need for child support.
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« Reply #2214 on: January 04, 2014, 08:04:40 PM »

Just a conversation I had with my buddy...

Alex: oh hey get your balls out of your womans purse
Alex: guess you got off the leash
Colin: lmaoooo
Colin: she just hit me cauise she read that

Colin needs to man up!!
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« Reply #2215 on: January 04, 2014, 09:38:05 PM »

Colin needs Hooked on Phonics.
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« Reply #2216 on: January 04, 2014, 10:50:09 PM »

Colin needs Hooked on Phonics.

Hooked on Phonics works for Colin! 
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« Reply #2217 on: January 04, 2014, 11:47:35 PM »

LOL. Just noticed your "It's a Boy!"
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« Reply #2218 on: January 05, 2014, 12:15:29 AM »

LOL. Just noticed your "It's a Boy!"

Isn't He just the cutest?  I could just eat Him up! 

Actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow morning. 
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« Reply #2219 on: January 05, 2014, 12:17:08 AM »

I should question how this got to 50 pages, but I don't think that I want to.
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« Reply #2220 on: January 05, 2014, 03:06:29 AM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.
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« Reply #2221 on: January 05, 2014, 03:23:48 AM »

I wish I could be as detached to women as you are Shiny.

I've been taken advantage of so many times by females--ever since 6th grade--who cry because I feel bad for them. I'm the type of idiot who'd be fooled by a feminazi into taking care of a kid that ain't mine just because I'd feel bad for her.

I need help on being more of a jerk
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« Reply #2222 on: January 05, 2014, 03:42:43 AM »

I've been taken advantage of so many times by females--ever since 6th grade

For four (five? six?) whole years? Shocked Egads! How do you live, my dear boy? How do you live?


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« Reply #2223 on: January 05, 2014, 05:23:41 AM »

I wish I could be as detached to women as you are Shiny.

I've been taken advantage of so many times by females--ever since 6th grade--who cry because I feel bad for them. I'm the type of idiot who'd be fooled by a feminazi into taking care of a kid that ain't mine just because I'd feel bad for her.

I need help on being more of a jerk
Yeah man you need to stop viewing women like they are on a pedestal. I was the same way for a long time, but most women are replaceable.

That's the thing you gotta be straight up with. Gotta let your girl know she is always replaceable, so if she starts treating you like crap tell her to pack her crap and get the hell out. No need to suffer needlessly you can always find another girl like her in a minute, preferably not though lol.

Like I told you before, you need to date as many women as you can but don't bring up any of that exclusivity. Don't be exclusive with just one woman, get around to multiple, see how they are. You ain't gotta marry the first woman you have sex with the first time. At your age you should be going after a lot of women, then later on when you get it all out of your system find yourself a real nice girl to settle down with.

Don't believe the idiots on this board that all women are equal, complete nonsense. A lot of women are worthless, and don't deserve you. You just gotta fall in love with the women that are worthy of the love you can bring them. Why waste it on a slut? So she can cheat on you behind your back while you gotta raise a kid you just had? Tell you one thing man you cannot wife a whore.

Have fun with different women, just be careful, cut ties when you need to, gotta assert your manliness, find a really nice girl to marry when you want.

Watch the people get mad at the above post because they did just the opposite of what I am telling you. Truth hurts.

Read this again:

I think that monogamy is an unnatural feminist invention that benefits females much more than it does men because it ensures that they have someone to take care of them and their offspring because the politically incorrect biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible to keep the population alive.

Come at me Arachne.

In all reality, I think that while monogamy is biologically unnatural, it's probably the best, fairest institution for both parties because polygamy reduces the diversity of the gene pool and polyandry screws a man over into taking care of a child that's not his.  At least in monogamy, you're both equally miserable.
Dude you are almost there.

I think you should reject both extreme ideals, on one end of the spectrum the celibate monk and the other ONS every woman you meet.

You just gotta be the best man you can be, and that is different for everyone. Not everyone is going to be that husband who worships his wife as some kind of goddess and raising wonderful children. And that's ok.

I don't think marriage these days is worth it outside of the sacramental view of the Church.

Me personally I'm the kind of guy that likes to create a world with one woman, who would be my wife. Make a legacy together and just watch our love flourish and see the fruits of it in our children.

But hey man you are pretty young, I'd go chasing after many women. Go ahead and date multiple women at once, just make sure you are upfront about not being exclusive with any of them. Don't be that guy who says he will be then goes after other women.
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« Reply #2224 on: January 05, 2014, 05:35:15 AM »

Just don't do what my ex best friend did. He'd do the above, meet all these women, date a ton of them...and one time he brought over this girl he started seeing.

Dude she must have been an angel. It was unreal, this woman was truly remarkable. She would have been the perfect companion, wife, whatever. And this idiot breaks up with her cause he needed to validate his attractiveness by getting more women.

I was mad at him for a long time when it happen, like dude how can you let go of a girl like that. A fool man. This is like 1 and 10 million odds here.

But James if you find a woman like that, you gotta put all that dating nonsense behind you and get serious and marry. I wouldn't let her go, or atleast do whatever I needed to do to keep her around that doesn't resort to locking her up in a dungeon lol.

That's the thing how I approach all my relationships, girls are absolutley free to do what they want. I have no envy, jealously, resentment, anger, etc. You wanna go to the bar and hang out with 10 dudes, get wasted, hey be my guest. I ain't worried at all.

Im telling you its reverse psychology. The more freedom you give them, the less they want to rebel and do the opposite of what you told them not to do. I observed this a lot with my male friends, theyd get super jealous or tell their women not to do this. And what does the woman do, she does just that.

And the more freedom you give them, the more they will love you in return.

At the same time, I know I am the best when it comes to being a boyfriend. Call up any of my previous exes and ask them. They all had to settle for less since leaving me. Get me to love you and I'll be as devoted, loving, caring, compassionate, etc. in return. I'll treat them like a princess but at the same time I know when to be assertive.
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« Reply #2225 on: January 05, 2014, 04:04:45 PM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.
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« Reply #2226 on: January 05, 2014, 04:21:03 PM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

It's true.  Abstinence doesn't prevent kidnapping, premarital/extramarital adoptions, having a baby in one's heart (cf. Mt 5.22, 28, etc.), dispassionate budding, etc.
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« Reply #2227 on: January 05, 2014, 07:18:19 PM »

I think that monogamy is an unnatural feminist invention that benefits females much more than it does men because it ensures that they have someone to take care of them and their offspring because the politically incorrect biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible to keep the population alive.

Come at me Arachne.

In all reality, I think that while monogamy is biologically unnatural, it's probably the best, fairest institution for both parties because polygamy reduces the diversity of the gene pool and polyandry screws a man over into taking care of a child that's not his.  At least in monogamy, you're both equally miserable.

No way.  Haven't you ever read about the FLDS groups?  They are constantly kicking males out of the group because the top dogs are getting all the females.  Chances are, unless you can figure out a way to get to the top of the food chain, you are going to be one of the males who get no action at all. Monogamy spreads it out so a wider population of males have access to breeding.

That sort of polygamy unnatural as well. I don't believe that commitment itself is a biologically natural thing--whether polygamous or monogamous. I believe that biologically speaking, humans would either be like chimpanzees where we all just wildly mate with each other every season and there's no competition (because there's no long term commitment), or we'd be serially monogamous like bears where we stay together for a few months to a couple years before splitting up and repeating the same process with someone else.

Commitment--especially in a polygamous context--ruins the gene pool through lack of diversity. And the human gene pool is already extremely closed and lacks diversity.

Quote
Monogamy is actually a male chauvinistic ideology to ensure female submission and prevent them from banding together in packs and plotting against us. Read the back of your man card!  It is in the fine print.

I disagree. Monogamy is a feminist invention to ensure that females have someone to take care of them because they can't hunt or gather food when they're pregnant. The biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible and then either bail or at only stay with the female during pregnancy until the baby is born and then raising it becomes her responsibility.

Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right....This is just the politically incorrect conclusions that biology has led me to. Morally speaking, I think that monogamy works best for society because it protects diversity in the gene pool and ensures children are taken care of. But, it's entirely unnatural.

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« Reply #2228 on: January 07, 2014, 07:56:28 AM »

I've been taken advantage of so many times by females--ever since 6th grade--who cry because I feel bad for them. I'm the type of idiot who'd be fooled by a feminazi into taking care of a kid that ain't mine just because I'd feel bad for her.

I need help on being more of a jerk

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  What'd they do?  Not sit with you at lunch?
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« Reply #2229 on: January 08, 2014, 05:49:03 PM »

I think that monogamy is an unnatural feminist invention that benefits females much more than it does men because it ensures that they have someone to take care of them and their offspring because the politically incorrect biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible to keep the population alive.

Come at me Arachne.

In all reality, I think that while monogamy is biologically unnatural, it's probably the best, fairest institution for both parties because polygamy reduces the diversity of the gene pool and polyandry screws a man over into taking care of a child that's not his.  At least in monogamy, you're both equally miserable.

No way.  Haven't you ever read about the FLDS groups?  They are constantly kicking males out of the group because the top dogs are getting all the females.  Chances are, unless you can figure out a way to get to the top of the food chain, you are going to be one of the males who get no action at all. Monogamy spreads it out so a wider population of males have access to breeding.

That sort of polygamy unnatural as well. I don't believe that commitment itself is a biologically natural thing--whether polygamous or monogamous. I believe that biologically speaking, humans would either be like chimpanzees where we all just wildly mate with each other every season and there's no competition (because there's no long term commitment), or we'd be serially monogamous like bears where we stay together for a few months to a couple years before splitting up and repeating the same process with someone else.

Commitment--especially in a polygamous context--ruins the gene pool through lack of diversity. And the human gene pool is already extremely closed and lacks diversity.

Quote
Monogamy is actually a male chauvinistic ideology to ensure female submission and prevent them from banding together in packs and plotting against us. Read the back of your man card!  It is in the fine print.

I disagree. Monogamy is a feminist invention to ensure that females have someone to take care of them because they can't hunt or gather food when they're pregnant. The biological nature of a man is to impregnate as many women as possible and then either bail or at only stay with the female during pregnancy until the baby is born and then raising it becomes her responsibility.

Of course, I'm not saying any of this is right....This is just the politically incorrect conclusions that biology has led me to. Morally speaking, I think that monogamy works best for society because it protects diversity in the gene pool and ensures children are taken care of. But, it's entirely unnatural.

Monogamy works best for a stable society.  In society you need as many men working as possible and the promise of them having a wife and kids is a darn good motivator.  If you do not protect marriages for these men then they will likely opt out.  Without the systems these men produce the alphas will only have enough resources to maintain their harems through violence.  They will be fighting over existing wealth rather than producing new wealth. 

Kill marriage, kill society.  We are currently trying to breathe life into a dying culture by maintaining a crappy semblance of marriage.  Get that divorce fraud rate up to 75% or higher and kiss the worker drones goodbye.  The women will have their bad boys, but they won't just be paper alphas with spray trans and sports cars, but ugly ****** with AKs and no morals.

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« Reply #2230 on: January 08, 2014, 05:54:00 PM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

And they're right.
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« Reply #2231 on: January 08, 2014, 06:29:25 PM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

And they're right.

Because the Virgin birth figures into the stats?

Who else has gotten pregnant by not having sex? (Barring medical procedures.)
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« Reply #2232 on: January 09, 2014, 12:37:16 PM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

And they're right.

Because the Virgin birth figures into the stats?

Who else has gotten pregnant by not having sex? (Barring medical procedures.)

Sheesh!  You just HAD to add that little caveat, didn't you? Cool
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« Reply #2233 on: January 13, 2014, 04:50:22 AM »



She is gone now, unfortunately. Well, I mean, I have her on my hard drive--not her herself, but a gif of her herself--but I'm not going to upload it or whatever. I assume you all saved it. Please accept this as an apology.

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« Reply #2234 on: January 13, 2014, 08:03:35 AM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

And they're right.
I've been told by various women that merely looking them in the eye I have impregnated them
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« Reply #2235 on: January 13, 2014, 09:25:32 AM »

These feminazis saying birth control doesn't work all the time, just gotta LOL at that.

I remember some anti-abstinence folks saying that abstinence was not 100 percent effective.

And they're right.
I've been told by various women that merely looking them in the eye I have impregnated them
Was that right before they asked you for child support?
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« Reply #2236 on: January 21, 2014, 03:39:29 PM »

Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle.
You just need the right pick up line.

For example, "Hey baby, are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for."
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« Reply #2237 on: January 21, 2014, 03:44:50 PM »

Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle.
You just need the right pick up line.

For example, "Hey baby, are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for."

"...And if not, I'm still 'Feeling Lucky'."
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« Reply #2238 on: January 21, 2014, 04:24:16 PM »

Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle.
You just need the right pick up line.

For example, "Hey baby, are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for."

LOL!

Given the level of wit of the political jokes thread, I would love to hear that mixed in with corny pickup lines.

Nick has gotta get in here. He's good at this sorta thing.
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« Reply #2239 on: January 21, 2014, 08:42:37 PM »

Hey bb, you must know kung fu.  Cuz yo body's been running through my mind all day long!


 
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« Reply #2240 on: February 08, 2014, 06:32:29 PM »

Girl, you must be a Catholic institution, 'cause I'm definitely not covering your birth co-

Sorry guys, I'm off tonight.
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« Reply #2241 on: February 15, 2014, 02:30:30 PM »

Alright first I'll tell you a little back story about this girl I met. She is a casher at my local grocery store. The moment I laid my eyes on her I knew I wanted to be with her but I didn't make it known right away because how weird would that be. So I kept going back to the store over a time of about three or four months. Buying little things here and there, chatting with her. If she had 5 people in line and another lane was open I would still wait in her line to see her. After a while she started to smile and was happy to see me. Well finally I asked her for her number and she gave it to me! And to my surprise the first thing she needed to know about me is if I was a Christian. That was the icing on the cake!

We are just chatting right now, going to meet up and get coffee in a few days. But we both said we will give it time because God's will be done. I wanted to know if you know of any prayers that can be said to open our eyes to see if this might be Gods will? I know of Saint Gregory Palamas prayer to find a spouse (link here: http://www.saintgregoryoutreach.org/2010/01/prayer-to-find-spouse.html)  but do you know of any others in terms of if we should start dating in the future because her and I have the same mindset that we don't really want to date just to date, we want to be in it for the long run.

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« Reply #2242 on: February 15, 2014, 02:32:55 PM »

Impressive, Peacemaker.
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« Reply #2243 on: February 15, 2014, 02:48:14 PM »

There's this one from Fr. Andrew Philips, UK. Seems a bit superstitious and mechanical but I like this kind of old-fashioned piety. Not that I've tried it though.

http://orthodoxengland.org.uk/pdf/st_nicholas.pdf
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« Reply #2244 on: February 15, 2014, 03:01:42 PM »

Interesting, I would never see the Akathist to St Nicholas the Wonderworker as being a prayer to find a wife. The strange thing is, Thursday is the day we remember St Nicholas and my Church said this Akathist, I unknowingly got her number the next day. Hmm.

She's a "non-denominational" protestant, but surprisingly has very orthodox ways of thinking. Any advice on how to ease her into the Orthodox world? I don't want to sound like a history lesson to her, but I want to be open about my faith.
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« Reply #2245 on: February 15, 2014, 03:07:29 PM »

There's this one from Fr. Andrew Philips, UK. Seems a bit superstitious and mechanical but I like this kind of old-fashioned piety. Not that I've tried it though.

http://orthodoxengland.org.uk/pdf/st_nicholas.pdf

I think you'd need to get the blessing of your spiritual father before carrying it out. That and have faith and a clean conscience. This is actually what makes the difference between piety and superstition: there is nothing mechanical about Orthodoxy.
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« Reply #2246 on: February 15, 2014, 03:16:28 PM »

You may never know God's will, unless He wants you to know.  As I see it, this girl smiles at you, gives you her number, and is willing to spend priceless and non refundable time with you.  What are you waiting for, with opportunity right in front of you?  Don't worry about this or that prayer and simply look for God in all things.  The closer you are in communion with Him, the better you'll be able to discern if this girl's a keeper.  If she is, wonderful.  If she's not, God gave you the opportunity to love a person and to learn about yourself.

My one and a half cents.
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« Reply #2247 on: February 15, 2014, 03:29:53 PM »

My one and a half cents.

Delightfully normal and sensible one and a half cents. Way better than pious pdfs.
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« Reply #2248 on: February 15, 2014, 04:21:24 PM »

Seems a bit superstitious and mechanical
It seems to differ from an incantation only in that it is a prayer to a Christian saint.
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« Reply #2249 on: February 15, 2014, 04:37:11 PM »

Impressive, Peacemaker.

I agree. 
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