Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 76184 times)

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Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2115 on: December 11, 2013, 09:28:31 AM »
I really think we should get John Mayer to start posting in this thread.

He has been attached to every major celebrity. He seems rather goofy but hey he manages to score.
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2116 on: December 11, 2013, 02:41:39 PM »
I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  :angel:
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Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline mabsoota

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2117 on: December 11, 2013, 03:59:12 PM »
here is some good advice for life from a desert mother:

Amma Theodora said,  'Let us strive  to enter by the narrow  gate, Just as the
trees, if they have not stood before the winter's storms cannot bear fruit, so
it is with us; this present age is a storm and it is  only through many trials
and temptations that we can obtain an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven.'

The  same amma said that a  teacher ought to  be a stranger  to the desire for
domination,  vain-glory,  and pride;  one should not  be able  to  fool him by
flattery,  nor   blind him by  gifts,  nor  conquer him  by  the  stomach, nor
dominate   him by anger;   but  he should   be patient, gentle   and humble as
far as possible; he must be tested  and without partisanship, full of concern,
and a lover of souls.

She  also said that  neither asceticism, nor vigils nor  any kind of suffering
are able to save, only true  humility can do that. There  was an anchorite who
was able to  banish the demons;  and he asked  them, 'What makes you go away?'
'Is it fasting?' They replied, 'We do not eat  or drink.' 'Is it vigils?' They
replied, 'We do not sleep.' 'Is it separation from the world?' 'We live in the
deserts.'  'What power sends you away  then?' They said, 'Nothing can overcome
us,  but only  humility.'  'Do you see  how  humility  is victorious over  the
demons?'

from here:
http://coptic.net/articles/SayingsOfDesertFathers.txt

(it's better than i could write!)
 ;)

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2118 on: December 11, 2013, 06:49:13 PM »
I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  :angel:

"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2119 on: December 12, 2013, 12:30:52 AM »
My ex-girlfriend is now facebook friends with a guy who is in a relationship with a girl who is facebook friends with the wife of my childhood-best-friend. (for truly.) Small world!
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 12:31:04 AM by Asteriktos »
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2120 on: December 12, 2013, 01:13:37 AM »
Best women parts (in order):
Eyes
Lips
That spot where the neck meets the chin
Back of the neck
Ears
Along the side, between arms and hips
Breasts
Fingers
Butt
Clavicles
Hips
Back of the knee
Feet
Calves

Best men parts (in order):
...?
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2121 on: December 12, 2013, 08:15:20 AM »
After thinking about it all night I think I figured two out...

Best men parts (in order):
...?

Hands
Calves
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2122 on: December 12, 2013, 08:32:24 AM »
I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  :angel:



Gah, she's a horrible winker.  Cute, though.
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2123 on: December 12, 2013, 09:02:54 AM »
Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.
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Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2124 on: December 12, 2013, 09:12:06 AM »
Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 09:12:26 AM by hecma925 »
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2125 on: December 12, 2013, 10:27:07 AM »
Leave her alone!

!!
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Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.



Offline J Michael

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2127 on: December 12, 2013, 11:18:33 AM »
Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.

Yes, she is cute.  And far more attractive when she blinks than when she winks.  The wink strikes me as phony and makes her look, well....never mind, Mor said to leave her alone. ;)
"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2128 on: December 12, 2013, 11:31:39 AM »
Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.

Yes, she is cute.  And far more attractive when she blinks than when she winks.  The wink strikes me as phony and makes her look, well....never mind, Mor said to leave her alone. ;)
Far better are her smile and nose. 
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Another blog - http://literarydiktator.blogspot.com/

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2129 on: December 12, 2013, 12:37:33 PM »
Maybe the wink was designed to get guys talking about her... in which case, it worked!  Though being cute as a button helps.  8)
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Mor Ephrem

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"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2131 on: December 12, 2013, 12:54:14 PM »
Then I'm even more in love with her...I ♥ owls!

She could also be boopis;)

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2132 on: December 12, 2013, 01:18:18 PM »
She could also be boopis;)

Then I'm just the bull for her. 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

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Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2133 on: December 12, 2013, 01:28:10 PM »

Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2134 on: December 12, 2013, 01:51:19 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan

Offline J Michael

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2135 on: December 12, 2013, 01:59:54 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. :P
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2136 on: December 12, 2013, 02:36:48 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. :P

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2137 on: December 12, 2013, 02:39:22 PM »
Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  :P

Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2138 on: December 12, 2013, 02:54:22 PM »
Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  :P
Tall, fast, lightweight, natural contoured lines, comfortable etc.

Nice try Romaios!
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

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Offline J Michael

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2139 on: December 12, 2013, 02:54:43 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. :P

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)

 ??? :o ??? :o  I thought him was a her.  Or is it both?  Is Shiny really a hermaphrodite?!?!?!?!
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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2140 on: December 12, 2013, 02:56:50 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2141 on: December 12, 2013, 02:56:59 PM »
Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  :P

Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2142 on: December 12, 2013, 02:59:33 PM »
The wink is horrible, though.

I think the wink is playful and innocent, yet with a hint of... [something that will remain a secret between me and TheTrisagion].
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2143 on: December 12, 2013, 03:01:53 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
Coming from Cyrillic, I think this means she is gorgeous.  This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  :laugh:
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2144 on: December 12, 2013, 03:03:31 PM »
I'm not saying that I wouldn't go after her (if single, of course), but the first serious conversation we would have is, "Honey, about that wink..."
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2145 on: December 12, 2013, 03:05:33 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 03:05:53 PM by Asteriktos »
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2146 on: December 12, 2013, 03:07:09 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2147 on: December 12, 2013, 03:07:11 PM »
Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  8)

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  :P

Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?
Try not to steal my thunder when you see me rumbling through the streets with my Air Maxes
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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2148 on: December 12, 2013, 03:08:35 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

And I assume it's her standard wink.  She probably toned it down, too, just for this gif (well, video that it's sourced from).
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2149 on: December 12, 2013, 03:09:58 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

And I assume it's her standard wink.  She probably toned it down, too, just for this gif (well, video that it's sourced from).

You do yourself no honor, sir, my making such outrageous and outlandish remarks about this fair lady!
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2150 on: December 12, 2013, 03:10:29 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

To her defense, that gif seems to be played backwards.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2151 on: December 12, 2013, 03:10:56 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...

No, never take such things back. Once they're out there you're all good. Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle. The worst that can happen now is that she makes fun of you, but that is no big deal.
"My doubt in Christ is not like that of a child; it was forged in a furnace of faith." - Dostoevsky

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2152 on: December 12, 2013, 03:14:37 PM »
I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...

No, never take such things back. Once they're out there you're all good. Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle. The worst that can happen now is that she makes fun of you, but that is no big deal.
She has responded and stated that she finds my lack of a beard to be a dealbreaker and she is not willing to wait around until I grow one.  Does anyone want to fill in for me on this one?  It would be much appreciated. Also, her real hair color is red if it makes any difference.  ;)
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 03:14:57 PM by TheTrisagion »
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Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2153 on: December 12, 2013, 03:19:27 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  :laugh:

Is that so?  :-[

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 03:20:28 PM by Cyrillic »
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Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2154 on: December 12, 2013, 03:21:22 PM »
Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?

Hairy, shrill, squeaky sneakers?  :o
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 03:23:31 PM by Romaios »

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2155 on: December 12, 2013, 03:22:13 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  :laugh:

Is that so?  :-[

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2156 on: December 12, 2013, 03:22:33 PM »
Is that so?  :-[

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

You sound like Mr. Vig  :D
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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2157 on: December 12, 2013, 03:23:52 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  :laugh:

Is that so?  :-[

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.

More like a 7. But only because I like big eyes.
"April is the cruellest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
memory and desire, stirring
dull roots with spring rain."
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2158 on: December 12, 2013, 03:25:32 PM »
She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  :laugh:

Is that so?  :-[

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.

More like a 7. But only because I like big eyes.
Your scale's broken ;).  I'd give her a solid 8.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Another blog - http://literarydiktator.blogspot.com/

Offline Opus118

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #2159 on: December 12, 2013, 11:57:49 PM »
Also, her real hair color is red if it makes any difference.  ;)

It does and it is disturbing.