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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 59359 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #2115 on: December 11, 2013, 09:28:31 AM »

I really think we should get John Mayer to start posting in this thread.

He has been attached to every major celebrity. He seems rather goofy but hey he manages to score.
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« Reply #2116 on: December 11, 2013, 02:41:39 PM »

I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  angel
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« Reply #2117 on: December 11, 2013, 03:59:12 PM »

here is some good advice for life from a desert mother:

Amma Theodora said,  'Let us strive  to enter by the narrow  gate, Just as the
trees, if they have not stood before the winter's storms cannot bear fruit, so
it is with us; this present age is a storm and it is  only through many trials
and temptations that we can obtain an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven.'

The  same amma said that a  teacher ought to  be a stranger  to the desire for
domination,  vain-glory,  and pride;  one should not  be able  to  fool him by
flattery,  nor   blind him by  gifts,  nor  conquer him  by  the  stomach, nor
dominate   him by anger;   but  he should   be patient, gentle   and humble as
far as possible; he must be tested  and without partisanship, full of concern,
and a lover of souls.

She  also said that  neither asceticism, nor vigils nor  any kind of suffering
are able to save, only true  humility can do that. There  was an anchorite who
was able to  banish the demons;  and he asked  them, 'What makes you go away?'
'Is it fasting?' They replied, 'We do not eat  or drink.' 'Is it vigils?' They
replied, 'We do not sleep.' 'Is it separation from the world?' 'We live in the
deserts.'  'What power sends you away  then?' They said, 'Nothing can overcome
us,  but only  humility.'  'Do you see  how  humility  is victorious over  the
demons?'

from here:
http://coptic.net/articles/SayingsOfDesertFathers.txt

(it's better than i could write!)
 Wink
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« Reply #2118 on: December 11, 2013, 06:49:13 PM »

I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  angel

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« Reply #2119 on: December 12, 2013, 12:30:52 AM »

My ex-girlfriend is now facebook friends with a guy who is in a relationship with a girl who is facebook friends with the wife of my childhood-best-friend. (for truly.) Small world!
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« Reply #2120 on: December 12, 2013, 01:13:37 AM »

Best women parts (in order):
Eyes
Lips
That spot where the neck meets the chin
Back of the neck
Ears
Along the side, between arms and hips
Breasts
Fingers
Butt
Clavicles
Hips
Back of the knee
Feet
Calves

Best men parts (in order):
...?
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« Reply #2121 on: December 12, 2013, 08:15:20 AM »

After thinking about it all night I think I figured two out...

Best men parts (in order):
...?

Hands
Calves
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« Reply #2122 on: December 12, 2013, 08:32:24 AM »

I had typed in another story from the life of St. Hezekiah, but unfortunately my computer decided to reboot on me when it was just about done. Divine intervention, perhaps.
I'm sure you meant to say you translated another story from Coptic. Goodness, you almost make it sound as if you are just coming up with these on your own!  angel



Gah, she's a horrible winker.  Cute, though.
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« Reply #2123 on: December 12, 2013, 09:02:54 AM »

Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.
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« Reply #2124 on: December 12, 2013, 09:12:06 AM »

Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.
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« Reply #2125 on: December 12, 2013, 10:27:07 AM »

Leave her alone!

!!
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« Reply #2126 on: December 12, 2013, 11:16:57 AM »



Glaukopis
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« Reply #2127 on: December 12, 2013, 11:18:33 AM »

Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.

Yes, she is cute.  And far more attractive when she blinks than when she winks.  The wink strikes me as phony and makes her look, well....never mind, Mor said to leave her alone. Wink
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« Reply #2128 on: December 12, 2013, 11:31:39 AM »

Her wink fascinates me and disturbed me all in one.  I have thought about it extensively and determined that it is the eye that she winks with.  I believe it is more appropriate to wink with the eye closest to the the recipient of the wink, not the more distant eye.

You bring up an excellent point.  Also, she has large eyes, quite beautiful I might add, that are no good for winking.  I'm sure there is a mathematical winking formula.

The other thing that is disturbing s that she moves back from the recoil of her wink.  This is no good.

Yes, she is cute.  And far more attractive when she blinks than when she winks.  The wink strikes me as phony and makes her look, well....never mind, Mor said to leave her alone. Wink
Far better are her smile and nose. 
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« Reply #2129 on: December 12, 2013, 12:37:33 PM »

Maybe the wink was designed to get guys talking about her... in which case, it worked!  Though being cute as a button helps.  Cool
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« Reply #2130 on: December 12, 2013, 12:50:00 PM »


Then I'm even more in love with her...I ♥ owls!
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« Reply #2131 on: December 12, 2013, 12:54:14 PM »

Then I'm even more in love with her...I ♥ owls!

She could also be boopisWink
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« Reply #2132 on: December 12, 2013, 01:18:18 PM »

She could also be boopisWink

Then I'm just the bull for her. 
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« Reply #2133 on: December 12, 2013, 01:28:10 PM »

She could also be boopisWink

Then I'm just the bull for her. 

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« Reply #2134 on: December 12, 2013, 01:51:19 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.
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« Reply #2135 on: December 12, 2013, 01:59:54 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. Tongue
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« Reply #2136 on: December 12, 2013, 02:36:48 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. Tongue

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool
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« Reply #2137 on: December 12, 2013, 02:39:22 PM »

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  Tongue
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« Reply #2138 on: December 12, 2013, 02:54:22 PM »

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  Tongue
Tall, fast, lightweight, natural contoured lines, comfortable etc.

Nice try Romaios!
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« Reply #2139 on: December 12, 2013, 02:54:43 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

You're just jealous. Tongue

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool

 Huh Shocked Huh Shocked  I thought him was a her.  Or is it both?  Is Shiny really a hermaphrodite?!?!?!?!
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« Reply #2140 on: December 12, 2013, 02:56:50 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
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« Reply #2141 on: December 12, 2013, 02:56:59 PM »

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  Tongue

Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?
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« Reply #2142 on: December 12, 2013, 02:59:33 PM »

The wink is horrible, though.

I think the wink is playful and innocent, yet with a hint of... [something that will remain a secret between me and TheTrisagion].
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« Reply #2143 on: December 12, 2013, 03:01:53 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
Coming from Cyrillic, I think this means she is gorgeous.  This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  laugh
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« Reply #2144 on: December 12, 2013, 03:03:31 PM »

I'm not saying that I wouldn't go after her (if single, of course), but the first serious conversation we would have is, "Honey, about that wink..."
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« Reply #2145 on: December 12, 2013, 03:05:33 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
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« Reply #2146 on: December 12, 2013, 03:07:09 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...
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« Reply #2147 on: December 12, 2013, 03:07:11 PM »

Nah, he really thinks that. Go back through this thread and read his posts. Anything below a 10/10, as he judges it, is ugly to him.  Cool

His taste in women probably matches his choice of footwear.  Tongue

Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?
Try not to steal my thunder when you see me rumbling through the streets with my Air Maxes
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« Reply #2148 on: December 12, 2013, 03:08:35 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

And I assume it's her standard wink.  She probably toned it down, too, just for this gif (well, video that it's sourced from).
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« Reply #2149 on: December 12, 2013, 03:09:58 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

And I assume it's her standard wink.  She probably toned it down, too, just for this gif (well, video that it's sourced from).

You do yourself no honor, sir, my making such outrageous and outlandish remarks about this fair lady!
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« Reply #2150 on: December 12, 2013, 03:10:29 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.

To her defense, that gif seems to be played backwards.
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« Reply #2151 on: December 12, 2013, 03:10:56 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...

No, never take such things back. Once they're out there you're all good. Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle. The worst that can happen now is that she makes fun of you, but that is no big deal.
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« Reply #2152 on: December 12, 2013, 03:14:37 PM »

I just assume that the wink is purposely exaggerated, and not her standard wink. The gif is more of an "I'm just messing around" wink, not a "Please be my mate" wink.
Oh.

Well this is awkward, does anyone know how to recall emails?  I seem to have sent one to a pretty blonde girl that I thought was coming on to me...

No, never take such things back. Once they're out there you're all good. Working up the nerve to send/ask/speak is 99% of the battle. The worst that can happen now is that she makes fun of you, but that is no big deal.
She has responded and stated that she finds my lack of a beard to be a dealbreaker and she is not willing to wait around until I grow one.  Does anyone want to fill in for me on this one?  It would be much appreciated. Also, her real hair color is red if it makes any difference.  Wink
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« Reply #2153 on: December 12, 2013, 03:19:27 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  laugh

Is that so?  Embarrassed

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.
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« Reply #2154 on: December 12, 2013, 03:21:22 PM »

Randomly and colorfully hirsute, uncomfortable, and loud?

Hairy, shrill, squeaky sneakers?  Shocked
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« Reply #2155 on: December 12, 2013, 03:22:13 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  laugh

Is that so?  Embarrassed

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.
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« Reply #2156 on: December 12, 2013, 03:22:33 PM »

Is that so?  Embarrassed

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

You sound like Mr. Vig  Cheesy
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« Reply #2157 on: December 12, 2013, 03:23:52 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  laugh

Is that so?  Embarrassed

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.

More like a 7. But only because I like big eyes.
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« Reply #2158 on: December 12, 2013, 03:25:32 PM »

She's ugly and the wink is the worst.

She's not that ugly. The wink is horrible, though.
This is the most flattering comment regarding a woman I have ever heard him say.  laugh

Is that so?  Embarrassed

Oh well, I guess the girl in the pic does look kinda okay.

Translation:  She's an 8.

More like a 7. But only because I like big eyes.
Your scale's broken Wink.  I'd give her a solid 8.
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« Reply #2159 on: December 12, 2013, 11:57:49 PM »

Also, her real hair color is red if it makes any difference.  Wink

It does and it is disturbing.
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