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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 60756 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #1890 on: November 15, 2013, 05:00:50 PM »

But really where art thou Isa?

How's the girlfriend? Any tips? Advice?

It blew my mind he was dating. Juicy details please!

Hope he gets a prenup written up this time if they decide to marry
Ohohoho. Now that was good.

Ouch

I feel bad for poor old Isa. If you've ever talked to him, you'll find out that his ex-wife really screwed him over in the end. He's a good man too; he didn't deserve that at all.
I've seen a picture of her she is very attractive.

So when you want an attractive gf and do decide to get married get the prenup Wink

I'm actually getting a prenup regardless.

I dont know about what he lost in the divorce, just know he complains mightily of the system.

Had he been divorced in Colorado he would have been much worse off.

Dont know if Illinois does no fault divorce
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« Reply #1891 on: November 15, 2013, 05:01:05 PM »

Hey Orthonorm should I get married someday or should I follow in your footsteps and stay a single man forever? They both have their benefits and disadvantages. On the one hand, I won't get lonely if I get married, but on the other hand, I won't have to put up with nagging from my wife if I stay single. I'm really hesitant about children, so either way, I don't think I'll be having them.

This is great!!  Do you realize, JamesR, that with an attitude like that you might just be doing some woman a huge favor by staying single?!
Not really.

I know plenty of women selfish enough not to have kids, and not for the good reasons James has.

If you believe the garbage Isa says about how marriage is life on a beach with no kids.

Sorry, I should've been more specific.  If he presupposes that a wife would be nagging and he would have to put up with it he would be doing some woman a favor by staying single.

I don't recall Isa saying that marriage is life on a beach with no kids.  I'm not even sure what that might mean.  When I think of beaches I think of sand and all the places it tends to insert itself and how uncomfortable that can be  Grin Grin.  And I've been on plenty of beaches, too!
I thought sand in the vagina was the norm for you conservatives.

I don't have a vagina, so, no worries, matey.
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« Reply #1892 on: November 15, 2013, 05:02:02 PM »

I wish I didn't put my eyes back in after I pulled them out.  
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« Reply #1893 on: November 15, 2013, 05:03:32 PM »

So....What ARE you talkin' 'bout??

I'm not sure that I can put things any more clearly, to be honest. I know you are sincere, though, so I will try.

Animality imbues a half-hearted intellectual plasticity as long as you are willing to accept the consequences. One outcome of this, naturally, is that levels of specificity will degrade over time. The key is to maintain a strong core. You do not want to fall into a meta-Cartesian mindset which will bring you to the precipice--I speak of the abrogation of the dogmatic want. If you need further assistance please call the hospital and repeat just read them what I have written in this post. They will know what to do.

Okay.  Got it!!  Thanks for clarifying!  Your efforts will not go unrewarded.
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« Reply #1894 on: November 15, 2013, 05:06:10 PM »

Let's not talk about politics or sand in those places, for that matter.
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« Reply #1895 on: November 15, 2013, 05:06:56 PM »

I wish I didn't put my eyes back in after I pulled them out.  
Perhaps the "problem" lies in which sockets you put them back into. Wink
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« Reply #1896 on: November 15, 2013, 05:13:01 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!
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« Reply #1897 on: November 15, 2013, 05:15:18 PM »

Let's not talk about politics or sand in those places, for that matter.
What makes you think we are talking politics?

All I said was conservative.
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« Reply #1898 on: November 15, 2013, 05:15:55 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!

I'm pretty sure he's doing it to me because he doesn't like me very much.  What's your excuse?  
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« Reply #1899 on: November 15, 2013, 05:16:16 PM »

All I said was conservative.

A pre-emptive strike, so you will.
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« Reply #1900 on: November 15, 2013, 05:17:40 PM »

I'm not sure that I can put things any more clearly, to be honest. I know you are sincere, though, so I will try.

Animality imbues a half-hearted intellectual plasticity as long as you are willing to accept the consequences. One outcome of this, naturally, is that levels of specificity will degrade over time. The key is to maintain a strong core. You do not want to fall into a meta-Cartesian mindset which will bring you to the precipice--I speak of the abrogation of the dogmatic want. If you need further assistance please call the hospital and repeat just read them what I have written in this post. They will know what to do.

Okay.  Got it!!  Thanks for clarifying!  Your efforts will not go unrewarded.

I'm just not sure about the "dogmatic want" part. Is wont more correct? But I don't want wont I want want.  Undecided
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« Reply #1901 on: November 15, 2013, 05:18:30 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!

I'm pretty sure he's doing it to me because he doesn't like me very much.  What's your excuse?  

I think it's punishment for pitching my tent in spiritual limbo. Or for walking past the Salvation Army guy and his bell that time I was too lazy to fish in my purse for a quarter.
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« Reply #1902 on: November 15, 2013, 05:19:52 PM »

I'm not sure that I can put things any more clearly, to be honest. I know you are sincere, though, so I will try.

Animality imbues a half-hearted intellectual plasticity as long as you are willing to accept the consequences. One outcome of this, naturally, is that levels of specificity will degrade over time. The key is to maintain a strong core. You do not want to fall into a meta-Cartesian mindset which will bring you to the precipice--I speak of the abrogation of the dogmatic want. If you need further assistance please call the hospital and repeat just read them what I have written in this post. They will know what to do.

Okay.  Got it!!  Thanks for clarifying!  Your efforts will not go unrewarded.

I'm just not sure about the "dogmatic want" part. Is wont more correct? But I don't want wont I want want.  Undecided

The problem with want is that there is no end to it.
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« Reply #1903 on: November 15, 2013, 05:20:21 PM »

I think it's punishment for pitching my tent in spiritual limbo. Or for walking past the Salvation Army guy and his bell that time I was too lazy to fish in my purse for a quarter.

The Salvation Army guy is a heretic, so God's probably happy you didn't financially support ungodliness, even if the motivation was a form of accidie.  

Tell me about this limbo...
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« Reply #1904 on: November 15, 2013, 05:23:08 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!

I'm pretty sure he's doing it to me because he doesn't like me very much.  What's your excuse?  

I think it's punishment for pitching my tent in spiritual limbo. Or for walking past the Salvation Army guy and his bell that time I was too lazy to fish in my purse for a quarter.

Don't feel bad.  I think I built a house there.  Probably on sand, too.  OY VEY IST MIR!  I'm trying to get the tools now to dismantle it and rebuild somewhere safer. Cool
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« Reply #1905 on: November 15, 2013, 05:27:26 PM »

I think it's punishment for pitching my tent in spiritual limbo. Or for walking past the Salvation Army guy and his bell that time I was too lazy to fish in my purse for a quarter.

The Salvation Army guy is a heretic, so God's probably happy you didn't financially support ungodliness, even if the motivation was a form of accidie.  

Tell me about this limbo...

My conscience is alleviated yet simultaneously burdened as I ponder the countless quarters I have thrown into that red bucket over the years.

Spiritual Limbo is a long story which I will happily sum up for you if you feel like pulling your eyes out again, but the short version is here:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,44707.msg749279.html#msg749279

That was from a year and a half ago. The situation isn't nearly so conflicted now. 
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« Reply #1906 on: November 15, 2013, 05:28:31 PM »

Don't feel bad.  I think I built a house there.  Probably on sand, too.  OY VEY IST MIR!  I'm trying to get the tools now to dismantle it and rebuild somewhere safer. Cool

Have you considered somewhere less coastal?
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« Reply #1907 on: November 15, 2013, 05:30:25 PM »

Don't feel bad.  I think I built a house there.  Probably on sand, too.  OY VEY IST MIR!  I'm trying to get the tools now to dismantle it and rebuild somewhere safer. Cool

Have you considered somewhere less coastal?

Yes!  We hope to find a suitable rock to live under in the "mountains" of western PA. as soon as we are able.
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« Reply #1908 on: November 15, 2013, 05:31:52 PM »

Tell me about this limbo...

It's one of many party games the Latins inherited from Augustine. Hitler is there, too, so while I don't quite understand what I've just watched, I'm pretty sure it means the internet is collapsing into some kind of quantum singularity or something all science-y like that. And I should probably stop searching for "Hitler + _____" on Google before my apartment ends up haunted or something.

 
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« Reply #1909 on: November 15, 2013, 05:38:16 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!
What is so upsetting?

PM if necessary.
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« Reply #1910 on: November 15, 2013, 05:42:28 PM »

That was from a year and a half ago. The situation isn't nearly so conflicted now. 

I went through a similar phase for a little bit.  It's an interesting place, but I think I benefited from going through it. 
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« Reply #1911 on: November 15, 2013, 05:42:41 PM »

And I should probably stop searching for "Hitler + _____" on Google before my apartment ends up haunted or something.

You beat me to it.
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« Reply #1912 on: November 15, 2013, 05:43:00 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!
What is so upsetting?

PM if necessary.

Self-censorship.
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« Reply #1913 on: November 15, 2013, 05:43:18 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!
What is so upsetting?

PM if necessary.

Having thoroughly reviewed the member log, I can confirm that God is not a member of OCNet.  PMing him will be difficult.  
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« Reply #1914 on: November 15, 2013, 05:44:21 PM »

That was from a year and a half ago. The situation isn't nearly so conflicted now. 

I went through a similar phase for a little bit.  It's an interesting place, but I think I benefited from going through it. 

I hope to look back on it and see it that way. Right now I just see it as exhausting.
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« Reply #1915 on: November 15, 2013, 05:48:18 PM »

And I should probably stop searching for "Hitler + _____" on Google before my apartment ends up haunted or something.

You beat me to it.

OMG it works!  Look what happened when I entered "Hitler + Indians":







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« Reply #1916 on: November 15, 2013, 05:52:50 PM »

Somehow I doubt that if I Google "Hitler + Polish" my results will be as goofy as yours.
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« Reply #1917 on: November 15, 2013, 06:03:25 PM »

I am not sure why you are using the expression "x + y" for google query.
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« Reply #1918 on: November 15, 2013, 06:04:44 PM »

Dear Miland,

Remember when I said I was planning a thing involving flowers? I am going forward with it in the morning. I will have to wake up about an hour earlier than usual to get it done, but I already made an excuse so Tara wouldn't suspect anything. I will leave her a rose everywhere that I can think to. By the coffee pot in the kitchen, by the hair brush in the bathroom, inside her car, etc. I talked to the guys at the gym yesterday and they are on board, so a rose will be waiting for her there as well. And then, when she finally gets to work, there will be a single rose waiting for her on her desk, and underneath it will be the ring I bought her last week. Wish me luck!

John
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« Reply #1919 on: November 15, 2013, 06:05:48 PM »

I am not sure why you are using the expression "x + y" for google query.

Because it gets results, you stupid chief.
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« Reply #1920 on: November 15, 2013, 06:11:54 PM »

Why are you testing me, God?!
What is so upsetting?

PM if necessary.

Having thoroughly reviewed the member log, I can confirm that God is not a member of OCNet.  PMing him will be difficult.  
Actually PMing won't be difficult. I'll get the message.
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« Reply #1921 on: November 15, 2013, 06:13:44 PM »

I am not sure why you are using the expression "x + y" for google query.

Because it gets results, you stupid chief.

?

You understand how that expression is parsed by google? And am I missing a cultural reference or have you just decide to be this pointedly hostile toward me?
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« Reply #1922 on: November 15, 2013, 06:17:03 PM »

I thankfully recovered only one portion from my orthonorm.txt file which was:

Many of us don't know how to use Google that way, so I'd discourage it.

This is how I search here. Look up the help on advanced search options.

But here are a few tips:

To server a specific site: site:sitename. site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net. You could even be more specific. site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/

If you want a term to absolutely be included, place + before the term: +term. +incarnation. (Google "sorta" defaults to this for each term you enter in a basic search, but not explicitly.

To exclude a term, use the - before the term: -term. -ROCOR (BTW, caps are irrelevant for the search term. ROCOR and rocor are parsed the same.

To include or exclude a specific expression (phrase) use quotation marks: +"Seraphim Rose" -"The Way of the Pilgrim"

Combining the above can create some powerfully accurate and precise queries.

For example, you want to check out what has been discussed about what the Church Fathers have had to say about the use icons to increase your apologetic ability to mock your Protestant friends:

site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +icon +"Church Fathers"

You get the results and you realize you don't want any result from the entries with the word Pearsonism in them:

site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +icon +"Church Fathers" -pearsonism

Now for advanced google-fu, you can use logical operators, specifically AND and OR. These operators must be capitalized. Let's look at an example.

You want to find discussions about Seraphim's (Rose) of Patina teachings on toll houses but are tired of hearing about his
chewing gum and interest in Chinese philosophy.

First you want to limit the site you are searching:

site:http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/

You know that monks are not supposed to be called by their last name, but you also know the Fr. Seraphim of Patina usually is and some who know this place his last name in parentheses to show they know this and that others would be confused by referring to him as Fr. Seraphim of Patina.

So how do we make sure we collect all the posts which refer to this man by the three most likely names people use and avoid getting back references which solely refer to Seraphim of Sarov?

+("Seraphim Rose" OR "Seraphim of Patina")

This will return all three possibilities. Google is going to ignore the parentheses in Seraphim (Rose), so "Seraphim Rose" works just as well.

Ok we want post about toll houses and not
chewing gum or Chinese Philosophy.

+"toll houses" -
chewing gum -"Chinese Philosophy"

So our entire query looks like:

site:http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +("Seraphim Rose" OR "Seraphim of Patina") +"toll houses" -
chewing gum -"Chinese Philosophy"


Let your imagination run wild.

If you have any questions, post them.


Edited for moratorim violation - mike.
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« Reply #1923 on: November 15, 2013, 06:17:10 PM »

I am not sure why you are using the expression "x + y" for google query.

Because it gets results, you stupid chief.

?

You understand how that expression is parsed by google? And am I missing a cultural reference or have you just decide to be this pointedly hostile toward me?

And if how google handles expression has recently changed to make the above somewhat useful, I would gladly like to know. I haven't looked over their expression syntax in a while, but I don't recall that expression being rendered very meaningful that last time I checked. Is termA whitespace + whitespace termB similar to something like termA near termB?
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« Reply #1924 on: November 15, 2013, 06:18:41 PM »

I thankfully recovered only one portion from my orthonorm.txt file which was:

Many of us don't know how to use Google that way, so I'd discourage it.

This is how I search here. Look up the help on advanced search options.

But here are a few tips:

To server a specific site: site:sitename. site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net. You could even be more specific. site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/

If you want a term to absolutely be included, place + before the term: +term. +incarnation. (Google "sorta" defaults to this for each term you enter in a basic search, but not explicitly.

To exclude a term, use the - before the term: -term. -ROCOR (BTW, caps are irrelevant for the search term. ROCOR and rocor are parsed the same.

To include or exclude a specific expression (phrase) use quotation marks: +"Seraphim Rose" -"The Way of the Pilgrim"

Combining the above can create some powerfully accurate and precise queries.

For example, you want to check out what has been discussed about what the Church Fathers have had to say about the use icons to increase your apologetic ability to mock your Protestant friends:

site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +icon +"Church Fathers"

You get the results and you realize you don't want any result from the entries with the word Pearsonism in them:

site:www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +icon +"Church Fathers" -pearsonism

Now for advanced google-fu, you can use logical operators, specifically AND and OR. These operators must be capitalized. Let's look at an example.

You want to find discussions about Seraphim's (Rose) of Patina teachings on toll houses but are tired of hearing about his
chewing gum and interest in Chinese philosophy.

First you want to limit the site you are searching:

site:http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/

You know that monks are not supposed to be called by their last name, but you also know the Fr. Seraphim of Patina usually is and some who know this place his last name in parentheses to show they know this and that others would be confused by referring to him as Fr. Seraphim of Patina.

So how do we make sure we collect all the posts which refer to this man by the three most likely names people use and avoid getting back references which solely refer to Seraphim of Sarov?

+("Seraphim Rose" OR "Seraphim of Patina")

This will return all three possibilities. Google is going to ignore the parentheses in Seraphim (Rose), so "Seraphim Rose" works just as well.

Ok we want post about toll houses and not
chewing gum or Chinese Philosophy.

+"toll houses" -
chewing gum -"Chinese Philosophy"

So our entire query looks like:

site:http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/ +("Seraphim Rose" OR "Seraphim of Patina") +"toll houses" -
chewing gum -"Chinese Philosophy"


Let your imagination run wild.

If you have any questions, post them.


Edited for moratorim violation - mike.

Your point? Is this related to the question about being called a stupid chief or the use of  termA whitespace + whitespace termB which may or not be included in ""?
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« Reply #1925 on: November 15, 2013, 06:19:23 PM »

That was your epic how to google search.

Did you think I was jeremi?
« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 06:19:53 PM by Shiny » Logged

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« Reply #1926 on: November 15, 2013, 06:20:34 PM »

That was your epic how to google search.

Did you think I was jeremi?

My favorite redacted post.
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« Reply #1927 on: November 15, 2013, 06:21:39 PM »

sigh I was too late to know what replaced the word and used "chewing gum".
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« Reply #1928 on: November 15, 2013, 06:23:14 PM »

Google can't find you a girl, nor dating and relationship advice.

Teehee.

site:www.eharmony.com + Achronos shows 0 results.
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« Reply #1929 on: November 15, 2013, 06:27:35 PM »

That was your epic how to google search.

Did you think I was jeremi?

No, I thought you were offering an answer from my post.

I have no idea what jeremy is referring to. You basically celebrate a guy for posting what could arguably be called the best template for apologetics ever on this site and werd a few posts and you become a stupid chief.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 06:27:46 PM by orthonorm » Logged

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« Reply #1930 on: November 15, 2013, 06:34:09 PM »



^ Any rebuttal to Nhorm.
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« Reply #1931 on: November 15, 2013, 06:37:27 PM »





OUTSIDE JOKES ALL DAY

EDIT: Do I dare make the last one animated?
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« Reply #1932 on: November 15, 2013, 06:39:32 PM »

Lol! That is as good as augustin the monk.
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« Reply #1933 on: November 15, 2013, 06:44:38 PM »

Lol! That is as good as augustin the monk.
I actually had an Urban Outfitters magazine cover in the works and typeface it in Romanian, but I don't think he deserves the derision yet.

Fall: Mantainence Guys in Army Green with Marx shirts.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2013, 06:45:07 PM by Shiny » Logged

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« Reply #1934 on: November 15, 2013, 06:48:38 PM »

If I am allowed to photoshop this entire board as a parody I'd do it in a heartbeat.
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