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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 64044 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #1710 on: October 23, 2013, 10:03:40 AM »

Well I broke up with her. And yeah she wasn't going to leave me.
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« Reply #1711 on: October 23, 2013, 10:07:30 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.

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« Reply #1712 on: October 23, 2013, 10:12:17 AM »

Well I broke up with her. And yeah she wasn't going to leave me.
So really, your the jerk here, not the girl.  Is that what I'm getting?  Wink
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« Reply #1713 on: October 23, 2013, 10:13:05 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.
You gotta stop reading the Stoics lol.

But really they aren't complicated. You just have to read between the lines on these "horror" stories.

Start with dating and then worry about relationships later.
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« Reply #1714 on: October 23, 2013, 10:13:45 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  
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« Reply #1715 on: October 23, 2013, 10:20:20 AM »

Well its more important that he is happy with or without a relationship.

Plus who needs a relationship when you are the next Erasmus, they will just get in the way. Wink
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« Reply #1716 on: October 23, 2013, 10:52:12 AM »

I'm not advocating an open relationship, although say if my girlfriend had the opportunity to sleep with her favorite celebrity then go for it.

But seriously, I was just talking more about the little crap in a monogamous relationship.

Eh I don't know if its trust, guys just have insecurities and they can wreck havoc on a relationship.

I always think its funny when guys used to hit up my recent ex on Facebook and texts. Keep trying she ain't leaving me lol. None of them cared about her having a bf. But I never got jealous and actually encouraged her to get their hopes up for entertainment.



 Kiss
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« Reply #1717 on: October 23, 2013, 10:53:47 AM »

Eh I don't know if its trust, guys people just have insecurities and they can wreck havoc on a relationship.
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« Reply #1718 on: October 23, 2013, 10:55:25 AM »

I always think its funny when guys used to hit up my recent ex on Facebook and texts. Keep trying she ain't leaving me lol. None of them cared about her having a bf. But I never got jealous and actually encouraged her to get their hopes up for entertainment.

Whose?
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« Reply #1719 on: October 23, 2013, 10:57:39 AM »

I always think its funny when guys used to hit up my recent ex on Facebook and texts. Keep trying she ain't leaving me lol. None of them cared about her having a bf. But I never got jealous and actually encouraged her to get their hopes up for entertainment.

Whose?
Mine.

I had a girlfriend who had a real life stalker that we had to take to court. And yet we were the ones laughed out of the courtroom. It was bizarre.

Tried to get a restraining order.
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« Reply #1720 on: October 23, 2013, 01:13:29 PM »

I always think its funny when guys used to hit up my recent ex on Facebook and texts. Keep trying she ain't leaving me lol. None of them cared about her having a bf. But I never got jealous and actually encouraged her to get their hopes up for entertainment.

Whose?
Mine.

Why am I not surprised?
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« Reply #1721 on: October 23, 2013, 01:15:11 PM »

I always think its funny when guys used to hit up my recent ex on Facebook and texts. Keep trying she ain't leaving me lol. None of them cared about her having a bf. But I never got jealous and actually encouraged her to get their hopes up for entertainment.

Whose?
Mine.

Why am I not surprised?
Huh
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« Reply #1722 on: October 23, 2013, 02:10:44 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.
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« Reply #1723 on: October 23, 2013, 02:33:56 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Fair 'nuff.
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« Reply #1724 on: October 23, 2013, 04:49:42 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



That's because you are wise and it is the same conclusion I've come to having experienced the emotional grief and injuries of both serious and casual intimacy outside marriage early in life and seeing it all around.
Unless God sends a soul mate I'm content with low key flirting and talk-listening to make nice gals, and myself both feel good because I adore genuine femininity.
 

So on the lighter side which is fun to talk and laugh about it's all in the eyes guys, master your eyecontact and communication skills with discretion & agility and no woman you choose to woo can resist you.

Disclaimer:
Use with caution.  
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« Reply #1725 on: October 24, 2013, 12:14:24 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.
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« Reply #1726 on: October 24, 2013, 09:27:08 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

I guess how I meant it was as needing an unspecific someone to function optimally.  If Cyrillic can keep his wits about him while being single than I see no need for him to force himself into finding a relationship because it is the "normal thing to do".  If this describes him then I envy him.
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« Reply #1727 on: October 24, 2013, 10:21:08 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.

If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

I guess how I meant it was as needing an unspecific someone to function optimally.  If Cyrillic can keep his wits about him while being single than I see no need for him to force himself into finding a relationship because it is the "normal thing to do".  If this describes him then I envy him.

It isn't as nice as you think. Some of my friends ridicule me for it when I taunt them with their failed flirting attempts and annoying girlfriends. But yes, I think I prefer it to having the need to be in a relationship.
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« Reply #1728 on: October 24, 2013, 11:29:04 AM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 11:34:01 AM by J Michael » Logged

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« Reply #1729 on: October 24, 2013, 02:15:54 PM »

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I have never dwelt much on how modern psycobabble defines certain words.  To me, a man is not complete without a woman, and a woman is not complete without a man.  While there are clear exceptions, the above is the norm.  My wife completes many of the areas where I am lacking or failing, and I depend on her for that.  Likewise, I do the same for her.  I never saw "love" as a 50/50 proposition, but rather a synergy where the sum benefit yeilded greater than 100%.  I realize that is not often seen in today's world, but we live in an environment where independence and satisfaction of self is preferred over sacrifice, service and dependence upon a community, even if that community is the family.
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« Reply #1730 on: October 24, 2013, 02:28:16 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I can post on this at length but I am currently making sure the French spell check in IE2.3 works or something and it is making my computer all most impossible to use, yes the addiction "scientists" (drunks) started the mess, but it entered pop vernacular in the late 70s and went nuclear in the 80s.
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« Reply #1731 on: October 24, 2013, 02:36:50 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I can post on this at length but I am currently making sure the French spell check in IE2.3 works or something and it is making my computer all most impossible to use, yes the addiction "scientists" (drunks) started the mess, but it entered pop vernacular in the late 70s and went nuclear in the 80s.

When did ti go viral?
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« Reply #1732 on: October 24, 2013, 02:42:38 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I can post on this at length

No doubt.
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« Reply #1733 on: October 24, 2013, 03:23:56 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I can post on this at length but I am currently making sure the French spell check in IE2.3 works or something and it is making my computer all most impossible to use, yes the addiction "scientists" (drunks) started the mess, but it entered pop vernacular in the late 70s and went nuclear in the 80s.

When did ti go viral?

Just after viral did.

I am not yet a member for the Society for Creative Anachronism. But I do have my hopes up.
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« Reply #1734 on: October 24, 2013, 04:25:07 PM »

Relationships sound like too much of a hassle to me. Those horror stories you hear both irl and on OC.net don't make it any better either. With a stroke of luck I might be able to continue dodging Cupid's arrows.



If you aren't codependent and don't naturally fall into relationships you are probably best just staying single.  Don't let people pressure you into it because it's expected of you.  

Codependent is a word developed by the pop-psych industry when they had to figure out how to begin making love a pathology.

Very well put.  I never saw how somebody could love someone without being somewhat codependent.

In my experience codependence is a term more specifically applied in the area of addiction and addiction counseling.  It really has very little to do with love, if by love we mean agape or even "just" doing and willing that which is best for the loved one, or being patient, kind, and never failing the other.

I can post on this at length but I am currently making sure the French spell check in IE2.3 works or something and it is making my computer all most impossible to use, yes the addiction "scientists" (drunks) started the mess, but it entered pop vernacular in the late 70s and went nuclear in the 80s.

When did ti go viral?

Just after viral did.

I am not yet a member for the Society for Creative Anachronism. But I do have my hopes up.

The only viral us who play with swords and armour get is yersina pestis.
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« Reply #1735 on: November 02, 2013, 06:10:08 PM »

So a friend is setting me up. This is exciting for me, but I'm also a bit unsure how to proceed. Any general tips for situations like this?
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« Reply #1736 on: November 02, 2013, 06:14:57 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2013, 06:15:51 PM by Cyrillic » Logged

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« Reply #1737 on: November 02, 2013, 06:49:36 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?
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« Reply #1738 on: November 02, 2013, 06:52:16 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?

Commonius Sensius.
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« Reply #1739 on: November 02, 2013, 07:53:45 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?

The stoic version would be, "listen to what she says, not for the sake of any interest you have in her or what she says, but that you might know how better to instill your own virtue in her."
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« Reply #1740 on: November 04, 2013, 01:36:27 AM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?

The stoic version would be, "listen to what she says, not for the sake of any interest you have in her or what she says, but that you might know how better to instill your own virtue in her."

Beautiful.
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« Reply #1741 on: November 04, 2013, 01:40:43 AM »

Personally, relationships for me tend to be something to avoid, outside of very close friendship. I'm better as the resident sage with good advice who listens willingly to people's relationship woes then as an actual participant. I tried it once- didn't go so well.
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« Reply #1742 on: November 04, 2013, 04:17:38 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.
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« Reply #1743 on: November 04, 2013, 04:19:59 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

Sounds a bit like a Fanfiction Mary Sue to me. I should know- I've read enough.
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« Reply #1744 on: November 04, 2013, 04:23:00 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?

The stoic version would be, "listen to what she says, not for the sake of any interest you have in her or what she says, but that you might know how better to instill your own virtue in her."

LOL!
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« Reply #1745 on: November 04, 2013, 04:23:36 PM »

Don't freak out and listen to what she has to say. Show interest even when it isn't interesting.
What Stoic did you get that from?

Datemius Maximus?

The stoic version would be, "listen to what she says, not for the sake of any interest you have in her or what she says, but that you might know how better to instill your own virtue in her."

Beautiful.

Cavaradossi can do this stuff all day long.
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« Reply #1746 on: November 04, 2013, 04:31:47 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

She invited you over for pie?  Where's the mystery in that? 
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« Reply #1747 on: November 04, 2013, 04:37:12 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

She invited you over for pie?  Where's the mystery in that? 

Why it wasn't cake and tea, of course. Everyone knows if you want to be hospitable, you offer guests' tea- and remember to put the milk in first.
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« Reply #1748 on: November 04, 2013, 04:38:48 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

You did well, friend.
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« Reply #1749 on: November 04, 2013, 04:40:44 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

You've just saved a lot of your time, money and sanity.
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« Reply #1750 on: November 04, 2013, 04:43:15 PM »

Today a girl asked me to come over and help her eat the chocolate pie that she baked. I didn't mind since I'm very fond of pies. When I arrived she hugged me and complained that she hadn't seen me for so long (it can't have been more than 6 weeks or so - the drama!). So then we ate pie and she started bragging about how many boys she had to turn down and 'friendzone', and how they were all handsome and smart (why would I care?) and how she was the smartest girl in class and how everyone likes her. I don't get it. Why would you brag to me? Why would I care? It's not like my approval is worth something. Does it add to your self-esteem? Anyway, I excused myself as soon as I ate the pie, told her I had to do some homework and left.

Seriously, girls are mysterious creatures.

You've just saved a lot of your time, money and sanity.

And tea and desserts, don't forget tea.
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« Reply #1751 on: November 04, 2013, 04:44:26 PM »

Why it wasn't cake and tea, of course. Everyone knows if you want to be hospitable, you offer guests' tea- and remember to put the milk in first.

I don't think she wanted to be hospitable, I think she wanted Cyrillic to eat her pie. 
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« Reply #1752 on: November 04, 2013, 04:46:48 PM »

she fancies you. maybe wants to play with your heart and then break it.
stay friends, stay cool.
 Cool

(u could invite her for an akathist though...)
 Wink
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« Reply #1753 on: November 04, 2013, 04:50:08 PM »

She obviously wanted for Cyrillic's virtue to be instilled in her, as Cavaradossi said.
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« Reply #1754 on: November 04, 2013, 04:51:14 PM »

Why it wasn't cake and tea, of course. Everyone knows if you want to be hospitable, you offer guests' tea- and remember to put the milk in first.

I don't think she wanted to be hospitable, I think she wanted Cyrillic to eat her pie. 

If you're offering one dessert, then you are being hospitable. Unless they're allergic, in which case problems may ensue. And I am going to try avoiding making an innuendo that I know most are thinking, but I'm going to not say.
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