Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 73902 times)

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Offline mabsoota

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1440 on: September 13, 2013, 04:18:06 PM »
oh, well, good thing i married someone who didn't have a short toes phobia!
 ;)
i'm sure there are many long toed women in the world left, and after all you only need one...

Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1441 on: September 13, 2013, 04:45:26 PM »
i'm sure there are many long toed women in the world left, and after all you only need one...

As well as plenty of men (see China) who abhor long toes in a woman. ;)

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1442 on: September 13, 2013, 05:14:45 PM »
I should note that foot binding was the most perverse idea ever devised. Truth.
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Offline Romaios

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« Last Edit: September 13, 2013, 05:39:48 PM by Romaios »

Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1444 on: September 14, 2013, 01:45:52 AM »
This guy has perfect hair:

Jim Chapman - Manly May Favourites

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56Fd-1woNRo

He also has a video of the exact hair cut he gets.

Now feel like crap because you dont look anything close to that.

Michal Kalina can pull this off.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1445 on: September 14, 2013, 03:59:56 PM »
Now feel like crap because you dont look anything close to that.

A man who is unwilling to come to terms with his ugliness is the least attractive of all.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1446 on: September 14, 2013, 07:21:26 PM »
Ok, I need some relationship advice here. My pappy always said that if you can't feed the cow then don't milk it. When you first hear that it makes sense. But then you have to consider that if you don't milk it it ends up in pain, so really you are doing it a favor by milking it. And once you've milked it, well why feel guilty about it? The cow is happy, you're happy, it's all good. Ya know? But some people want to do me a harsh about this as though I'm taking advantage or something.  What should I do?  Oh, and if it matters, she's 29.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1447 on: September 14, 2013, 07:25:12 PM »
I should note that foot binding was the most perverse idea ever devised. Truth.

Nah...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_mutilation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_cranial_deformation


I am very thankful that you chose to post a pic of the second one rather than the first one.  ;)
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1448 on: September 14, 2013, 07:28:11 PM »
I am very thankful that you chose to post a pic of the second one rather than the first one.  ;)

He did have a second pic in the original post, but removed it. He would have received a dot for it, I imagine, though the most disturbing part of the pic wouldn't have been what he got the dot for.  8)
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1449 on: September 14, 2013, 07:28:29 PM »
Ok, I need some relationship advice here. My pappy always said that if you can't feed the cow then don't milk it. When you first hear that it makes sense. But then you have to consider that if you don't milk it it ends up in pain, so really you are doing it a favor by milking it. And once you've milked it, well why feel guilty about it? The cow is happy, you're happy, it's all good. Ya know? But some people want to do me a harsh about this as though I'm taking advantage or something.  What should I do?  Oh, and if it matters, she's 29.
The average life expectancy of a cow is 22 yrs old, so your cow is clearly in her elder years, far past her milking prime.  You should put her out to pasture and allow her to graze for her remaining years, whatever might be left.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1450 on: September 14, 2013, 07:31:35 PM »
Look, I don't have a degree in cowology, all I know is that she likes to be milked and really hates it when she goes for long periods without milking. I don't know what the story is regarding why it's like that at her age, that's just how it is.  ???
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1451 on: September 14, 2013, 07:33:16 PM »
I am very thankful that you chose to post a pic of the second one rather than the first one.  ;)

Neck elongation ≠ cranial deformation.  ;)

The second picture I originally posted illustrated the latter.

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1452 on: September 14, 2013, 07:47:30 PM »
Look, I don't have a degree in cowology, all I know is that she likes to be milked and really hates it when she goes for long periods without milking. I don't know what the story is regarding why it's like that at her age, that's just how it is.  ???
Perhaps it would be best to just turn her into ground beef. No use letting a good cow go bad.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1453 on: September 14, 2013, 07:49:27 PM »
Look, I don't have a degree in cowology, all I know is that she likes to be milked and really hates it when she goes for long periods without milking. I don't know what the story is regarding why it's like that at her age, that's just how it is.  ???
Perhaps it would be best to just turn her into ground beef. No use letting a good cow go bad.

What? I'm talking about a human! What are you talking about? Hmph, men!  >:(
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1454 on: September 14, 2013, 07:55:05 PM »
Look, I don't have a degree in cowology, all I know is that she likes to be milked and really hates it when she goes for long periods without milking. I don't know what the story is regarding why it's like that at her age, that's just how it is.  ???
Perhaps it would be best to just turn her into ground beef. No use letting a good cow go bad.

What? I'm talking about a human! What are you talking about? Hmph, men!  >:(
What is this now?  You are milking a human cow?  I think you need one of these for that.

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1455 on: September 14, 2013, 08:00:45 PM »
I do not have a lactation fetish. May we please return to my moral dilemma?  >:( :-*
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1456 on: September 14, 2013, 08:09:09 PM »
I do not have a lactation fetish. May we please return to my moral dilemma?  >:( :-*
I don't understand at all, I feel as if I have been more than helpful in all my suggestions, but you seem to be dismissing everything I say.  Are we discussing milking or not? I see no moral dilemma about milking, whether it be bovine or human.  If there is some sort of double entendre here, you must be more clear, I simply do not have the time to try and decipher what it might be.  :-*
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1457 on: September 14, 2013, 08:15:05 PM »
Sometimes people seemingly dismiss things in public, yet think deeply about and struggle with them in private. They say one thing on a forum so as not to lose face, when in truth they have had the foundations of their very soul-stuff shaken.  This does not apply to me in this instance, but it does happen.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1458 on: September 14, 2013, 08:38:21 PM »
Try milking a horse.  They need to be milked multiple times a day.  I'm serious.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1459 on: September 14, 2013, 09:46:48 PM »
What is this now?  You are milking a human cow?  I think you need one of these for that.



Without fail, every Saturday night, as pious Orthodox Christians prepare with fasting and prayer to receive Holy Communion in the morning, someone on OCNet is talking about breasts.  With.  Out.  Fail.   
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Offline Opus118

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1460 on: September 14, 2013, 09:52:00 PM »
Hmph, men!  >:(
I have the trademark for this, so don't even think about monetizing it. You can keep the smiley face thingy,  I hate them.

I am thinking about an Orthodox-friendly line of ankle length culottes that can be worn by both men and women. I have yet to broach the topic to Achronos as an initial male model (since he like robes). I have been trying to find the red-haired "It's a fact girl" for the initial female model, but I have not had any success. I just cannot give up on red heads, so the fashion line is still in limbo as I write.

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1461 on: September 14, 2013, 11:36:42 PM »
What is this now?  You are milking a human cow?  I think you need one of these for that.



Without fail, every Saturday night, as pious Orthodox Christians prepare with fasting and prayer to receive Holy Communion in the morning, someone on OCNet is talking about breasts.  With.  Out.  Fail.   
You can thank me later that I did not post a pic of a woman using it.  I would hope the machine above does not drive you to lust.  :-*
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1462 on: September 15, 2013, 02:13:21 AM »
Hmph, men!  >:(
I have the trademark for this, so don't even think about monetizing it. You can keep the smiley face thingy,  I hate them.

I am thinking about an Orthodox-friendly line of ankle length culottes that can be worn by both men and women. I have yet to broach the topic to Achronos as an initial male model (since he like robes). I have been trying to find the red-haired "It's a fact girl" for the initial female model, but I have not had any success. I just cannot give up on red heads, so the fashion line is still in limbo as I write.

This is the content I need for my oc.net digest.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline Gunnarr

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1463 on: September 15, 2013, 03:21:09 AM »
Hello Orthonorm

I am currently an emperor of the Roman Empire, but my wife is not giving me any sons. Should I divorce her and marry a favorite, very beautiful young lady who I truly love? My current wife is getting old, also she is quite ugly. If I don't get a heir soon, the empire will go into chaos!!!

regards,

Constantine
I am a demonic servant! Beware!

Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1464 on: September 15, 2013, 03:23:02 AM »
Now feel like crap because you dont look anything close to that.

A man who is unwilling to come to terms with his ugliness is the least attractive of all.
What if you bordered between ugly and attractive?
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

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Offline Shiny

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1465 on: September 15, 2013, 03:23:02 AM »
The one thing I don't like about my hair is that I have a cowlick.
“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1466 on: September 15, 2013, 05:42:49 AM »
What if you bordered between ugly and attractive?

I'm not sure. Never been there so I've never given it much thought  :police:

Also, your current avatar, signature, etc. are weirding me out, man...

We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1467 on: September 15, 2013, 08:25:50 AM »
Hello Orthonorm

I am currently an emperor of the Roman Empire, but my wife is not giving me any sons. Should I divorce her and marry a favorite, very beautiful young lady who I truly love? My current wife is getting old, also she is quite ugly. If I don't get a heir soon, the empire will go into chaos!!!

regards,

Constantine

It's fun dating while being an emperor. Take king Ahasuerus, for example. He had an ingenious method of dating.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1468 on: September 15, 2013, 02:12:01 PM »
What if you bordered between ugly and attractive?

I'm not sure. Never been there so I've never given it much thought  :police:

Also, your current avatar, signature, etc. are weirding me out, man...



You put him up to that?  :P
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1469 on: September 15, 2013, 05:56:27 PM »
I once had a girlfriend tell me that when I did dishes I didn't clean them well enough. I thought the obvious solution to this was for her to clean all the dishes from that point forward. She wasn't a fan of that plan, I don't think. Well, what can be done? You just have to do as best you can.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1470 on: September 15, 2013, 05:56:58 PM »
You put him up to that?  :P

No. Though his avatar was a good choice  8)
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1471 on: September 15, 2013, 06:34:15 PM »
I once had a girlfriend tell me that when I did dishes I didn't clean them well enough. I thought the obvious solution to this was for her to clean all the dishes from that point forward. She wasn't a fan of that plan, I don't think. Well, what can be done? You just have to do as best you can.
I tell my wife this every day, yet she has still to warm to the idea of doing them herself.  Some people are just never satisfied...
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Offline William

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1472 on: September 15, 2013, 07:31:15 PM »
The one thing I don't like about my hair is that I have a cowlick.

I would LOVE something natural in my hair like that. The only thing my hair does naturally is go straight down.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1473 on: September 16, 2013, 12:55:50 AM »
I don't like nipple rings.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1474 on: September 16, 2013, 01:36:34 AM »
That should have been piercings, not just rings in particular.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1475 on: September 16, 2013, 07:57:25 AM »
I don't like nipple rings.
Then don't wear them.  ;)
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1476 on: September 16, 2013, 10:07:03 AM »
I don't like nipple rings.
Then don't wear them.  ;)

I mean on other people, silly. Obviously I don't like them on me. That's just gross. But I don't like them on other people either. If I wanted a mouth full of metal I'd just chew on a penny.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline Romaios

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1477 on: September 16, 2013, 10:12:58 AM »
I mean on other people, silly. Obviously I don't like them on me. That's just gross. But I don't like them on other people either. If I wanted a mouth full of metal I'd just chew on a penny.

So you don't approve of oral/lingual piercings either?

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1478 on: September 16, 2013, 10:13:33 AM »
I don't like nipple rings.
Then don't wear them.  ;)

I mean on other people, silly. Obviously I don't like them on me. That's just gross. But I don't like them on other people either. If I wanted a mouth full of metal I'd just chew on a penny.
This made me laugh quite heartily for some reason.  :laugh:
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1479 on: September 16, 2013, 10:23:33 AM »
So you don't approve of oral/lingual piercings either?

Hate them. I can't say why without being more explicit that is proper for a forum such as this.

This made me laugh quite heartily for some reason.  :laugh:

Though to be fair I don't like jewelry in general.

I suppose some of these aren't deal breakers. They're fairly serious problems, though, like neo-nazism, or smoking pot.
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1480 on: September 16, 2013, 10:25:03 AM »
So you don't approve of oral/lingual piercings either?

Hate them. I can't say why without being more explicit that is proper for a forum such as this.

This made me laugh quite heartily for some reason.  :laugh:

Though to be fair I don't like jewelry in general.

I suppose some of these aren't deal breakers. They're fairly serious problems, though, like neo-nazism, or smoking pot.


So, to sum up,  neo-nazism=smoking pot=most jewelry.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1481 on: September 16, 2013, 10:27:04 AM »
I believe in relative dating morality/selection, and all three of those are relatively off-putting to me. Though my last girlfriend smoked cigarettes and since then I have been disturbed at how accepting I have become when considering potential dates.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 10:27:32 AM by Asteriktos »
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1482 on: September 16, 2013, 10:29:24 AM »
So you don't approve of oral/lingual piercings either?

Hate them. I can't say why without being more explicit that is proper for a forum such as this.

This made me laugh quite heartily for some reason.  :laugh:

Though to be fair I don't like jewelry in general.

I suppose some of these aren't deal breakers. They're fairly serious problems, though, like neo-nazism, or smoking pot.

I like cartilage ear piercings, small diamond studs in attractive noses and navel piercings on flat stomachs.  Other than that, lets go smoke some pot.  Neo-nazis are a total turn off.

« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 10:30:51 AM by TheTrisagion »
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Offline vamrat

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1483 on: September 16, 2013, 10:36:33 AM »
I don't like nipple rings.
Then don't wear them.  ;)

I mean on other people, silly. Obviously I don't like them on me. That's just gross. But I don't like them on other people either. If I wanted a mouth full of metal I'd just chew on a penny.
This made me laugh quite heartily for some reason.  :laugh:

It is a pretty glorious comment. 
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline vamrat

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Re: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column
« Reply #1484 on: September 16, 2013, 10:37:26 AM »
You put him up to that?  :P

No. Though his avatar was a good choice  8)

Both avatars are pretty gangsta.  Great film.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.