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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 62147 times) Average Rating: 3
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« Reply #1305 on: August 01, 2013, 02:28:31 PM »

I may have to do that...
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« Reply #1306 on: August 01, 2013, 02:37:15 PM »

They've got their names on their tags, rights? That's a start. Smiley

[serious post]

So, as the tag says, this is a serious post. Serious meaning real life experience and not fictional, and not meaning serious in tone, which I freely admit is exaggerated for effect. But not my much.

_________________
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever" - John Keats

I saw a girl today at Walmart. No, not just a girl--a woman. She was the most attractive person I have ever seen. I felt like the Russian emissaries first experiencing the divine liturgy--for I knew not whether I was in heaven or on earth. Such joyful sorrow flooded my heart and soul, for in that moment I experienced life to the fullest, and yet I knew I would never be granted a private audience with this angelic being. The Archangel Michael and Satan fought over the body of Moses. And likewise within my heart I could feel demonic lust, and that which is made in the image of God, making war over the body of this woman. "I am the image of God, and am drawn to wickedness" St. Gregory the Theologian said. Indeed. In the end Satan lost, for I went back into the store to steal another look at her, but before I could buy the 20 oz. soda I was planning on getting, so as to place myself within feet of her presence, I decided to abandon my daring scheme, not out of shyness or insecurity, but because the Archangel had gained the upper hand. I stood triumphant as I waited for the bus. But I will never forget that cashier at Walmart. And God protect me tomorrow when I will most likely see her again.
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« Reply #1307 on: August 01, 2013, 02:44:10 PM »

I think he should lead off with the St. Gregory the Theologian quote.  laugh
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« Reply #1308 on: August 01, 2013, 02:50:10 PM »

 Cheesy Sweet!
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« Reply #1309 on: August 01, 2013, 02:54:41 PM »

Just ask her out big dawg. What could possibly go wrong?

You can only ask out women that, you know, really exist.
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« Reply #1310 on: August 01, 2013, 02:55:31 PM »

Just ask her out big dawg. What could possibly go wrong?

You can only ask out women that, you know, really exist.


You should be stripped of your moderatorial duties for not respecting the serious tag.
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« Reply #1311 on: August 01, 2013, 02:55:45 PM »

Just ask her out big dawg. What could possibly go wrong?

You can only ask out women that, you know, really exist.


Since when?
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« Reply #1312 on: August 01, 2013, 03:14:14 PM »

Just ask her out big dawg. What could possibly go wrong?

You can only ask out women that, you know, really exist.


Since when?

Japanese man campaigns to marry his manga heartthrob
Quote
Taichi Takashita,(...)has launched an online petition asking the Japanese government to make marriage between humans and cartoon characters legal.
The fact that the "I-want-to-marry-a-cartoon-character" petition amassed over 1,000 signatures in its first week on the net.
http://www.examiner.com/article/forbidden-love-japanese-man-campaigns-to-marry-his-manga-heartthrob
« Last Edit: August 01, 2013, 03:14:33 PM by Fabio Leite » Logged

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« Reply #1313 on: August 01, 2013, 03:20:24 PM »

Just ask her out big dawg. What could possibly go wrong?

You can only ask out women that, you know, really exist.


Since when?

Japanese man campaigns to marry his manga heartthrob
Quote
Taichi Takashita,(...)has launched an online petition asking the Japanese government to make marriage between humans and cartoon characters legal.
The fact that the "I-want-to-marry-a-cartoon-character" petition amassed over 1,000 signatures in its first week on the net.
http://www.examiner.com/article/forbidden-love-japanese-man-campaigns-to-marry-his-manga-heartthrob

There really is a lot of sickness in the world.

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« Reply #1314 on: August 01, 2013, 03:22:17 PM »


"I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world. However, that seems impossible with present-day technology."

This is the kind of line that I hope to be able to come up with some day.  Grin
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« Reply #1315 on: August 01, 2013, 03:25:29 PM »

And more:

Quote
A Korean man has married his dakimaura, a.k.a. a body pillow with a Japanese anime girl drawn on it.

The girl depicted on the newlywed pillow is Fate Testarossa from the anime Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.
(...)
 In November 2009, a Japanese man married his virtual girlfriend from a Nintendo DS romance simulator in Gwam.

http://www.torontosun.com/news/weird/2010/03/05/13128306-qmi.html
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« Reply #1316 on: August 01, 2013, 03:26:46 PM »


"I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world. However, that seems impossible with present-day technology."

This is the kind of line that I hope to be able to come up with some day.  Grin
I already exist in 2 dimensions only.  My own existence is contained in the words on your computer screen.   I can tell him, it is very overrated.  5 dimensions is really where it is at.
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« Reply #1317 on: August 01, 2013, 03:35:51 PM »

Don't pay attention to them, haters gonna hate.  Oh so he found some pics on the interwebs? Can he find any with raindrops on them besides the one I took? No, because mine was unique, because I took it with a photo graphic camera apparatus, and did not simply steal it off the web. Some people just have to be skeptical about everything I guess. Well, what can you do? Achronos is a good guy. I don't fault him. He needs our support at a time like this.
LOL
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« Reply #1318 on: August 01, 2013, 11:37:05 PM »

Are you guys the Desperate Wife Hunter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0aNsFfNNDg
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« Reply #1319 on: August 02, 2013, 09:35:07 AM »

And more:

Quote
A Korean man has married his dakimaura, a.k.a. a body pillow with a Japanese anime girl drawn on it.

The girl depicted on the newlywed pillow is Fate Testarossa from the anime Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha.
(...)
 In November 2009, a Japanese man married his virtual girlfriend from a Nintendo DS romance simulator in Gwam.

http://www.torontosun.com/news/weird/2010/03/05/13128306-qmi.html

She may not cook or clean, but American girls don't do that anyway.  At least she'll never complain, "vent", gripe, or divorce him.  No alimony, no child support.  She'll never get fat, and when she's worn out he can replace her with no hard feelings.

I really am not seeing the problem with this?
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« Reply #1320 on: August 02, 2013, 03:31:38 PM »

Didn't go to the store today so I didn't see the mystery woman. Sad

Anyway, I'll just leave this here, which my sister shared on facebook (and laughed at):

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« Reply #1321 on: August 05, 2013, 04:48:07 AM »

So Moni and I had a fun time this weekend. Only one more week to go till Breaking Bad is back, and it'll be our first (and last) half-season of BB together, we're so stoked!  Anyway, that's next week. This week was all about this community yard sale we went to. it took us two entire days to work our way through all the people in town participating, but it was worth it. We found all sorts of little knick knacks that were awesome. I guess the main problem was that we spent a bit too much money, but that will happen. I also got to talk to Moni more about religion, and she said she was willing to go to Vespers, fast one day a week, and pray with me once a week, if I was willing to make certain concessions to here. Well, I asked like what kind of concessions, but it was nothing major, mostly just modifications of my intense loving feelings so cognitive goodly. And that's not a problem because I'm down for whatever, just ask ya know?

I think this is going to work out well, but I guess I'll have to wait and see!
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« Reply #1322 on: August 07, 2013, 01:34:45 PM »

Orthonorm appears to have abandoned us to our fate.
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« Reply #1323 on: August 07, 2013, 01:35:57 PM »

Orthonorm appears to have abandoned us to our fate.

How will we survive?
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« Reply #1324 on: August 07, 2013, 01:47:34 PM »

Orthonorm appears to have abandoned us to our fate.

How will we survive?
+1

At least we didn't get a long ranty goodbye thread pointing out all the moral failings of the posters here.  I half expected that to come when I saw the Orthonorm is dead avatar.

I do give him props on the most excellent and creative avatar.  It is cool way to go.
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« Reply #1325 on: August 07, 2013, 04:12:21 PM »

Yeah Cyrillic, Orthonorm sure has been gone awhile.
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« Reply #1326 on: August 07, 2013, 04:17:43 PM »

Yeah the toxic levels of piety drove him away.
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« Reply #1327 on: August 07, 2013, 04:46:41 PM »

I miss Orthie.
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« Reply #1328 on: August 08, 2013, 12:27:42 AM »

Orthonorm appears to have abandoned us to our fate.

Noted.

You might start an OCnet poll with all the reasons you can think of in order to get to the bottom of this observation. Consider it an educational experience.
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« Reply #1329 on: August 08, 2013, 06:02:44 AM »

Some good advice right here: http://youtu.be/_oVb25gYKyY
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« Reply #1330 on: August 12, 2013, 12:08:25 PM »

Moni and I broke up last night. They say that "all good things must come to an end," or at least part of that was the title to a really good Star Trek episode, so it must be true.
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« Reply #1331 on: August 19, 2013, 09:15:21 AM »

Moni and I broke up last night. They say that "all good things must come to an end," or at least part of that was the title to a really good Star Trek episode, so it must be true.
It was the monogamy pledge, wasn't it?  How can someone be expected to be constrained by such a burdensome load!  Wink
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« Reply #1332 on: August 19, 2013, 11:51:28 AM »

I've decided that celibacy is the path for me!
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« Reply #1333 on: August 19, 2013, 12:25:24 PM »

All the thrice-beloved Fathers declare with all their souls, and with all their minds do infallibly teach: that nothing so purifies the soul as spending holy time set apart in sexless leisure.
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« Reply #1334 on: August 23, 2013, 02:37:02 PM »

I have received five messages from new people in the last month or two on OKcupid. Here are three of them:

"hey."

"hi sexy"

"hi, how are you?"

(The other two live too far away to make it work, thus I'm only including those three)

Which girl sounds more intelligent, or just perhaps more compatible with me? Who should I message back?
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« Reply #1335 on: August 23, 2013, 02:50:47 PM »

I have received five messages from new people in the last month or two on OKcupid. Here are three of them:

"hey."

"hi sexy"

"hi, how are you?"

(The other two live too far away to make it work, thus I'm only including those three)

Which girl sounds more intelligent, or just perhaps more compatible with me? Who should I message back?

Clearly the first is attempting to play it cool and be informal.  She is obviously a chill girl with a bit of a wild side. Likely a good girl who will give you the needed space further in the relationship.

The second girl is a complete freak in the sack.  I'm not sure you would be able to keep up with her stamina and she has a tendency to become a bit clingy as the relationship progresses.

The last is way too formal.  Obviously her first time in the rodeo of online dating and maybe the first time on the internet.  She is Amish and you would be dealing with the genetic defects in your progeny, but hey, sometimes the risk is worth it. Right?
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 02:51:15 PM by TheTrisagion » Logged

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« Reply #1336 on: August 23, 2013, 02:59:24 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
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« Reply #1337 on: August 23, 2013, 03:04:10 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 03:05:19 PM by TheTrisagion » Logged

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« Reply #1338 on: August 23, 2013, 03:40:55 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
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« Reply #1339 on: August 23, 2013, 03:45:56 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
You have me pegged to a T!  But how could you know?  Huh
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« Reply #1340 on: August 23, 2013, 03:48:55 PM »

Are you guys the Desperate Wife Hunter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0aNsFfNNDg

Haha no not anymore
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« Reply #1341 on: August 23, 2013, 04:10:12 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
You have me pegged to a T!  But how could you know?  Huh

Well, you made a whole thread about your proclivities.
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« Reply #1342 on: August 23, 2013, 05:08:52 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
You have me pegged to a T!  But how could you know?  Huh

Well, you made a whole thread about your proclivities.
Er....ahem....yes, I suppose I did.  Embarrassed
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« Reply #1343 on: August 23, 2013, 05:39:33 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
You have me pegged to a T!  But how could you know?  Huh

Well, you made a whole thread about your proclivities.
Er....ahem....yes, I suppose I did.  Embarrassed

Why the long face?
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« Reply #1344 on: August 23, 2013, 08:21:25 PM »

This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 Smiley  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.

I always figured you would be after a spirited girl with a long gait and a sturdy back.
You have me pegged to a T!  But how could you know?  Huh

Well, you made a whole thread about your proclivities.
Er....ahem....yes, I suppose I did.  Embarrassed

Why the long face?
You just wouldn't understand.  Sad

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Goodbye for now, my friend


« Reply #1345 on: August 23, 2013, 08:25:22 PM »

I have no horse in this race. I believe I am on the right track though when I say you should talk about it. Not meaning to horseshoe you, of course, into something you don't want to do. You take the reins and decide...
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Paradosis ≠ Asteriktos ≠ Justin
ThatOneGuy92
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« Reply #1346 on: August 24, 2013, 03:42:45 PM »

C'mon now! Whats with all the horsing around?  Wink
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Sincerely your brother in Christ,
Tim

"I cannot persuade myself that without love to others, and without, as far as rests with me, peaceableness towards all, I can be called a worthy servant of Jesus Christ."
- St. Basil the Great
Justin Kissel
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Goodbye for now, my friend


« Reply #1347 on: August 25, 2013, 06:47:36 PM »

"clavicles are the new cleavage"

Exactly. Though when I told my last girlfriend that she had lovely clavicles she looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears  Grin  Cheesy   I guess that's not quite "pick up line" worthy...
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Paradosis ≠ Asteriktos ≠ Justin
William
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« Reply #1348 on: August 25, 2013, 10:18:15 PM »

I saw this cute chick sitting at a table with an open seat and kept walking. I guess I gotta start manning up.
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Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant
TheTrisagion
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« Reply #1349 on: August 25, 2013, 11:33:26 PM »

I saw this cute chick sitting at a table with an open seat and kept walking. I guess I gotta start manning up.
I recommend Asteriktos' pick up line.  It has never failed me yet.

"Do you exegete?"
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Have you considered the possibility that your face is an ad hominem?
Somebody just went all Jack Chick up in here.
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