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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 59778 times) Average Rating: 3
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #1170 on: June 28, 2013, 08:09:17 AM »

alien phalanges.

 Grin angel
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« Reply #1171 on: June 28, 2013, 08:20:10 AM »

Good toes:





Bad toes:

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« Reply #1172 on: June 28, 2013, 08:22:06 AM »



Hard to work with toes so sandy. Even in a scenario where... er... *checks what site he is on* ... never mind. Smiley
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« Reply #1173 on: June 28, 2013, 08:27:15 AM »

That pic just makes me want to go to the beach.  Why am I stuck at work right now?  Sad
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« Reply #1174 on: June 29, 2013, 07:21:03 PM »

So I had another date with Monika last night--or as she likes to be called, Moni (she likes it to be pronounced like Mani, because she has an interest in the founder of Manichaeism). Anyway, it was really good. We first stopped by the ice cream stand for a pre-date treat. I had a sunday, which was delicious, but perhaps a bit too sweet. She had a chocolate and vanilla twirl ice cream cone, which besides being quite good also provided a great ice breaker for talking about interracial relationships and marriage, and she had some fascinating theories on this, which I may post about in another thread.

After the ice cream we went to the business district and did a little window shopping, ending up eventually in Robert Ingersoll park. We found a bench in a nice secluded area and talked for hours. It's hard to put into words how well read and experience she is. Truly. Let me put it this way: I have never met anyone even close to her in knowledge of Maori mating rituals. It's astounding. It's like I'm reading a combination of wiki and the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, only she's the only author and editor.

It was beginning to get dark by that point, and it was looking like it was gonna rain fairly soon, so I asked if she'd like to get something to eat. She said yes, but that she wanted to cook the food. I thought that was a great idea, so we drove back to her house. She wouldn't let me even look in the kitchen while she was cooking, but it sure smelled fabulous! She asked me to find something to watch while we were eating, because she said she didn't like trying to talk when eating, she preferred watching or listening to something. As I was trying to figure out what to watch I was overjoyed to find that she was the owner of all seasons of all Star Treks ever made! I suggested we each watch the other's favorite episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and she thought that was a great idea. Apparently it's her favorite Trek series as well.  Grin

So we watched and ate. She made this wonderful dinner with cream cheese stuffed chicken breasts, covered with just the right mix of spices, and some beautiful sweet corn puree, and on and on it went. She's a culinary wizard!  So for the Trek I picked Duet, which admittedly can get a bit melodramatic, but if you can get past some of the camp it has some really great lines in it. It's also definitely the best pre-Worf episode of the series. She chose In the Pale Moonlight, which she admitted is sort of cliché at this point since everyone says that's their favorite, but she wanted to give a nod to it nonetheless. Great episode.

After that I helped her clean up, and then we sat down on the couch again, but it was a bit awkward, because I didn't know if I should try to kiss her, or start talking, or what. Finally she smiled and her face turned red, and I slowly moved in, brushed her hair away, and gave her a very romantic kiss. About an hour and a half later she suggested that we watch a Trek marathon, which I was definitely up for, so we did that till about 4am. Anyway, so finally I woke up the next morning and drove back to my apartment to check on what's been up at oc.net. It was a great date!
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« Reply #1175 on: June 29, 2013, 08:17:02 PM »

How long are her toes?
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« Reply #1176 on: June 29, 2013, 08:26:45 PM »

How long are her toes?

I couldn't tell. It's like when the girl is in the bathroom and you check her phone to see if she is cheating on you with her neighbor across the hall... you're always scared she's gonna catch you, so you don't do a thorough job. Anyway, so she was sleeping, and there was a left over french fry on the nightstand, so I took that and measured her longest toe with the fry, then bit the fry off where her toe ended. Then in the morning I used a ruler to measure it, and it came out to 2 1/8 inches, but who knows how off that could be?  Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
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« Reply #1177 on: June 29, 2013, 09:24:58 PM »

How long are her toes?

I couldn't tell. It's like when the girl is in the bathroom and you check her phone to see if she is cheating on you with her neighbor across the hall... you're always scared she's gonna catch you, so you don't do a thorough job. Anyway, so she was sleeping, and there was a left over french fry on the nightstand, so I took that and measured her longest toe with the fry, then bit the fry off where her toe ended. Then in the morning I used a ruler to measure it, and it came out to 2 1/8 inches, but who knows how off that could be?  Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
laugh laugh laugh laugh
nice vascularity is important. Poor circulation in the feet can lead to major relationship problems down the road.
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« Reply #1178 on: June 29, 2013, 09:52:59 PM »

I make sure that all girls I am with understand the importance of them getting daily foot rubs from me. It's absolutely essential, for health reasons.
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« Reply #1179 on: June 29, 2013, 11:07:21 PM »

How long are her toes?

Then in the morning I used a ruler to measure it, and it came out to 2 1/8 inches, but who knows how off that could be?  

It seems pretty off to me. But then again it is hard to find an excuse to use the term pretty/
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« Reply #1180 on: June 30, 2013, 07:26:04 PM »

Ok, I admit that almost every makeup related thing that girls do is a mystery to me, or beauty and fashion in general really. However, for this post I'll keep it to one question: what is the deal with putting eyeliner on only half the bottom lid of the eye?
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« Reply #1181 on: June 30, 2013, 08:51:34 PM »

Ok, I admit that almost every makeup related thing that girls do is a mystery to me, or beauty and fashion in general really. However, for this post I'll keep it to one question: what is the deal with putting eyeliner on only half the bottom lid of the eye?
Tis best not to seek answers for the deep questions in life.

On an unrelated note, I sat next to a redhead today in DL and my first thought was: I bet Asteriktos wishes he was here.

I need to get off oc.net a bit more.  Undecided
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« Reply #1182 on: June 30, 2013, 09:15:55 PM »

Ok, I admit that almost every makeup related thing that girls do is a mystery to me, or beauty and fashion in general really. However, for this post I'll keep it to one question: what is the deal with putting eyeliner on only half the bottom lid of the eye?
Tis best not to seek answers for the deep questions in life.

On an unrelated note, I sat next to a redhead today in DL and my first thought was: I bet Asteriktos wishes he was here.

I need to get off oc.net a bit more.  Undecided

I find some things more confusing than the eyeliner thing, but I thought maybe I would at least get an answer with this one  Cool  Regarding the redhead, I am most happy that you got to experience this, sounds like a treat!  And don't worry about oc.net worming it's way into your mind, it happens to everyone who gets chosen. Take solace in the fact that as soon as you signed up your fate was sealed, for the powers that be had already decided whether to keep you or let you have the free-will to leave.
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« Reply #1183 on: July 01, 2013, 10:03:28 PM »

I am posting this to announce that I have an important announcement coming this Wednesday. Stay tuned!
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« Reply #1184 on: July 02, 2013, 08:01:37 AM »

I am posting this to announce that I have an important announcement coming this Wednesday. Stay tuned!
Your getting married? Isn't 2 dates a bit soon to announce that?  Grin
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« Reply #1185 on: July 02, 2013, 08:05:00 AM »

or as she likes to be called, Moni (she likes it to be pronounced like Mani, because she has an interest in the founder of Manichaeism).

I'd dump her for that.
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« Reply #1186 on: July 02, 2013, 08:16:00 AM »

Your getting married? Isn't 2 dates a bit soon to announce that?  Grin

My ex-wife proposed to me after about 12 dates.  Cool  But no, that's not the announcement.

or as she likes to be called, Moni (she likes it to be pronounced like Mani, because she has an interest in the founder of Manichaeism).

I'd dump her for that.

Look, I also think it's strange that she would prefer Mani over the Egyptian gnostics, but it isn't a deal breaker for me.
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« Reply #1187 on: July 02, 2013, 02:52:31 PM »

I am posting this to announce that I have an important announcement coming this Wednesday. Stay tuned!

Due to circumstances out of my control, this announcement has been moved to Thursday. Please update your calendars. Thanks!
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« Reply #1188 on: July 02, 2013, 11:34:16 PM »

Of course long slender fingers are also attractive. I figured that went without saying though.
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« Reply #1189 on: July 02, 2013, 11:55:19 PM »

Of course long slender fingers are also attractive. I figured that went without saying though.

Yes they are, mine are thin but not long enough for Brahms.

I would not include >2 in. toes in this category, but I have never seen this in person.
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« Reply #1190 on: July 03, 2013, 02:17:21 PM »

Of course long slender fingers are also attractive. I figured that went without saying though.

Yes they are, mine are thin but not long enough for Brahms.

I would not include >2 in. toes in this category, but I have never seen this in person.

I measured my own, and the longest toe comes out to 2 3/16 inches, or thereabouts, so I would guesstimate that something over 2 inches would not only be acceptable, but highly desireable. Over 3 inches and we're pushing it. Less than 1 inch and we're talking about someone who needs toe-lengthening surgery pronto.
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« Reply #1191 on: July 03, 2013, 02:29:33 PM »

Since we're on the subject of surgical alterations, here are my own guidelines for potential mates to follow (listen up!):

Permissible
- Breast reductions, but only if the girls are grossly large or disproportionate.
- Toe lengthening. Signs of surgery must be hidden as well as possible though. I don't want some back alley surgery here.
- Tummy tucks, but fat removal is to be kept to the bare minimum.

Impermissible
- Breast implants of any kind, especially if you are thin or have an athletic build.
- Calve implants.
- Nose jobs (exceptions for pig noses).
- Facelifts.
- Liposuction.
- Neovaginoplasty, unless for some serious-illness-related reason.
- Cleft chin creation or enhancement.
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« Reply #1192 on: July 04, 2013, 12:55:35 AM »

Of course long slender fingers are also attractive. I figured that went without saying though.

Yes they are, mine are thin but not long enough for Brahms.

I would not include >2 in. toes in this category, but I have never seen this in person.

I measured my own, and the longest toe comes out to 2 3/16 inches, or thereabouts, so I would guesstimate that something over 2 inches would not only be acceptable, but highly desireable. Over 3 inches and we're pushing it. Less than 1 inch and we're talking about someone who needs toe-lengthening surgery pronto.

What are the official rules for measuring toe lengths? Maybe I am doing it wrong.
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #1193 on: July 08, 2013, 03:08:10 PM »

Of course long slender fingers are also attractive. I figured that went without saying though.

Yes they are, mine are thin but not long enough for Brahms.

I would not include >2 in. toes in this category, but I have never seen this in person.

I measured my own, and the longest toe comes out to 2 3/16 inches, or thereabouts, so I would guesstimate that something over 2 inches would not only be acceptable, but highly desireable. Over 3 inches and we're pushing it. Less than 1 inch and we're talking about someone who needs toe-lengthening surgery pronto.

What are the official rules for measuring toe lengths? Maybe I am doing it wrong.

I just put a ruler in between the toes where they meet the foot and measure...   Huh
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« Reply #1194 on: July 08, 2013, 03:11:18 PM »

Moni and I have declared our mutual admiration of the intellect and physique of the other, and have vowed, henceforth, to wear monogamy rings. For those who may not have heard of these--I assume you're in your 60s or older--these are sort of like purity rings, but about the loftier concept sometimes called monogamy. Some may call it old fashioned, but Moni and I both agree that we are at a crossroads in our relationship, and are ready to take the next step.
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« Reply #1195 on: July 08, 2013, 03:25:41 PM »

Moni and I have declared our mutual admiration of the intellect and physique of the other, and have vowed, henceforth, to wear monogamy rings. For those who may not have heard of these--I assume you're in your 60s or older--these are sort of like purity rings, but about the loftier concept sometimes called monogamy. Some may call it old fashioned, but Moni and I both agree that we are at a crossroads in our relationship, and are ready to take the next step.
So you are promising you aren't going to cheat on her?

Congrats, I guess...
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« Reply #1196 on: July 08, 2013, 03:35:19 PM »

What do you mean cheat? She's the one who usually invited the third or fourth girl. We're just agreeing to phase that part of the relationship out.
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« Reply #1197 on: July 08, 2013, 03:49:04 PM »

What do you mean cheat? She's the one who usually invited the third or fourth girl. We're just agreeing to phase that part of the relationship out.
I don't know how to respond to that, but...

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« Reply #1198 on: July 08, 2013, 03:50:26 PM »

If you are making a recommendation, I would reiterate that we are going one-on-one for now. She looks like a fine girl though. Smiley
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« Reply #1199 on: July 08, 2013, 03:52:54 PM »

I thought Asteriktos was married with a daughter? Or am I wrong?
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« Reply #1200 on: July 08, 2013, 03:54:07 PM »

I thought Asteriktos was married with a daughter? Or am I wrong?
He has a daughter.
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« Reply #1201 on: July 08, 2013, 03:55:05 PM »

I thought Asteriktos was married with a daughter? Or am I wrong?
If he is married, he is no longer going to be engaging in any physical activity w/ his wife due to his monogamy pledge with Moni.  Grin
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« Reply #1202 on: July 08, 2013, 03:58:01 PM »

I thought Asteriktos was married with a daughter? Or am I wrong?

This would be correct... if it was 2006 Cool
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« Reply #1203 on: July 08, 2013, 05:07:03 PM »

I thought * had two girls.
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« Reply #1204 on: July 08, 2013, 05:15:44 PM »

Yeah, I was being a bit oblique I suppose; I just meant that I haven't been married with one kid since this time in 2006. I guess my basic point is that my life is totally different now.
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« Reply #1205 on: July 08, 2013, 05:31:47 PM »

Btw, I don't use the purple in this thread, because it is unnecessary -- (which means...)
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« Reply #1206 on: July 10, 2013, 04:26:09 PM »

It's amazing how differently you view someone that you are attracted to based on whether you're dating them or not. I've been facebook stalking this girl for a couple months now, and sometimes I'm glad she rejected my generous proposal to take her out on a date, because I just read these silly remarks she makes and think "Gah, did I really want to go out with this girl?"  ..... nevertheless, I still would love to take her out some time. And facebook is wonderful. In the past you'd have had to pay her doorman to give you the gossipy goodness of what she's up to, and you'd have to pay them extra to notify you when she had broken off the romance. Now you know who her boyfriend is, where he lives, what his favorite Snoop Dog record is, etc. And you know almost instantly via a facebook status update when she's available. *rubs hands creepily*
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« Reply #1207 on: July 10, 2013, 07:32:17 PM »

It's amazing how differently you view someone that you are attracted to based on whether you're dating them or not. I've been facebook stalking this girl for a couple months now, and sometimes I'm glad she rejected my generous proposal to take her out on a date, because I just read these silly remarks she makes and think "Gah, did I really want to go out with this girl?"  ..... nevertheless, I still would love to take her out some time. And facebook is wonderful. In the past you'd have had to pay her doorman to give you the gossipy goodness of what she's up to, and you'd have to pay them extra to notify you when she had broken off the romance. Now you know who her boyfriend is, where he lives, what his favorite Snoop Dog record is, etc. And you know almost instantly via a facebook status update when she's available. *rubs hands creepily*
Thus endeth the monogamy pledge?  Tongue
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« Reply #1208 on: July 11, 2013, 02:06:50 AM »

It's amazing how differently you view someone that you are attracted to based on whether you're dating them or not. I've been facebook stalking this girl for a couple months now, and sometimes I'm glad she rejected my generous proposal to take her out on a date, because I just read these silly remarks she makes and think "Gah, did I really want to go out with this girl?"  ..... nevertheless, I still would love to take her out some time. And facebook is wonderful. In the past you'd have had to pay her doorman to give you the gossipy goodness of what she's up to, and you'd have to pay them extra to notify you when she had broken off the romance. Now you know who her boyfriend is, where he lives, what his favorite Snoop Dog record is, etc. And you know almost instantly via a facebook status update when she's available. *rubs hands creepily*
Thus endeth the monogamy pledge?  Tongue

Oh! No, I don't want to be misunderstood here. One of those stories is about real life, and one is completely fictional. As for which is which, well I'm not sure that that's something that people need to know.  angel
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« Reply #1209 on: July 12, 2013, 02:11:25 PM »

I think a nurse saw my junk today. She's a nice nurse and I'd feel bad if that happened. On the other hand, what can I do? Would this be a turn off if I want to ask her out some time?
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« Reply #1210 on: July 12, 2013, 02:21:10 PM »

I think a nurse saw my junk today. She's a nice nurse and I'd feel bad if that happened. On the other hand, what can I do? Would this be a turn off if I want to ask her out some time?
Well, you should always have a clean house in the event that something like this happens.  There is never a good reason to have your house cluttered with junk.  Wink
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« Reply #1211 on: July 12, 2013, 02:26:20 PM »

I think a nurse saw my junk today. She's a nice nurse and I'd feel bad if that happened. On the other hand, what can I do? Would this be a turn off if I want to ask her out some time?
Nurses see junk all the time.  It's everywhere.  In fact, many people collect and hoard it.  Space, I've heard, is full of it, too.  Go figure. Kiss
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"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian
Justin Kissel
Formerly Asteriktos
Protospatharios
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« Reply #1212 on: July 12, 2013, 02:27:16 PM »

So more guys go commando than I thought? *wipes forehead* Whew, that's a relief, thanks guys!  Smiley
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TheTrisagion
Armed Feline rider of Flaming Unicorns
Warned
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Jurisdiction: Antiochian
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« Reply #1213 on: July 12, 2013, 02:29:27 PM »

I just lost any desire that I ever had to go in to space now.  Thanks JMichael!  Angry
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Have you considered the possibility that your face is an ad hominem?
Somebody just went all Jack Chick up in here.
J Michael
Older than dirt; dumber than a box of rocks; colossally ignorant; a little crazy ;-)
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Lord, have mercy! I live under a rock. Alleluia!


« Reply #1214 on: July 12, 2013, 02:34:14 PM »

So more guys go commando than I thought? *wipes forehead* Whew, that's a relief, thanks guys!  Smiley
Be careful with that thinking thing.  Could get you into trouble.
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"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian
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