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Author Topic: Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column  (Read 61238 times) Average Rating: 3
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #1125 on: June 16, 2013, 12:51:14 PM »

Some women look good with a shaved head. I've not met one yet, but I'm sure of it. Pics or it didn't happen?

Natalie Portman does, but she looks even better with hair.

Yeah, I was on google looking for someone, but that's really the only one I came up with. Well, maybe a couple others...





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« Reply #1126 on: June 16, 2013, 12:51:24 PM »

LOL!

I can't wait to make a list when I get home too.
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« Reply #1127 on: June 16, 2013, 12:53:41 PM »

Turn-offs in girls:
- No eyebrows. Overly-plucked eyebrows. Painted-on eyebrows.
- Overly-long fingernails.
- Earrings larger than half dollar.
- Redheads who change their hair to a different color.
- Girls who need glasses to see but refuse to wear them. Contacts usage allowed in special circumstances.
- Mustache and nose hairs.
- Too much makeup.
- Girls who wear socks indoors.
- Girls who shower alone. (Many people die in bathroom accidents. It's dangerous. Let me help.)

We may now proceed according to the plan...

Beggars can't be choosers.
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« Reply #1128 on: June 16, 2013, 01:28:24 PM »

I've not had to beg yet...  though I am open to that if... er, nevermind...
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« Reply #1129 on: June 16, 2013, 02:50:29 PM »

I've not had to beg yet...  though I am open to that if... er, nevermind...

You know what they say right ... Something along the lines of...Thou have not lived if thou have not begged ? Cool
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« Reply #1130 on: June 18, 2013, 08:58:18 PM »

I just returned from one of those speed dating things, and what a blast! I figured I'd let you all know about it, since it's too much info for facebook or twitter, and I need to inform people about the personal details of my life. Obviously I can't remember everything about everyone, but here's what I remember:

Caramela - This was the second girl I talked with. She was quite attractive, out of my league really. That actually made me less nervous though, cause I figured: well I have no shot, so just be yourself and treat it like you're just chatting with a friend or something. Apparently she just moved here from ABQ, which is why she was at the event. I think she said she was a doctoral student at Pitt. Or Carnegie Mellon? No, probably Pitt. Anyway, she was in Chemistry, so I said "I'm way out of my element here" and she laughed, which made me feel better, because as soon as I made the joke I had one of those feelings when you want to crawl under a rock. Anyway, that's what I remember about her.

Stacey - There were a few girls in between, and then Stacey. Not sure what her story was exactly as she seemed very cryptic. She kept checking her watch, so she must have had to go somewhere soon after the dating thing or something. Everything I asked her she would just reply with monosyllabic answers. "Yes... No... Whatever." I'm not even sure what went wrong. Finally our time was up and she went on to the next guy, who she seemed to not be as cryptic with, because she was giggling and flirting and whatnot. Strange bird.

Tara - Well next was Tara, and what a bunch of energy! She was asking me a hundred questions a minute: what school did I go to, what hood I grew up in, the why, the who what, the when and where and the how. Honestly, she kept asking till I was grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out. I was certainly glad when that was over!

Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl! So I got her number and I'm definitely going to ask her out, maybe this weekend. Hope things go well, cross your fingers for me! I will report back if I have any problems, though I don't think I will...
« Last Edit: June 18, 2013, 09:02:22 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1131 on: June 18, 2013, 09:13:49 PM »

Asteriktos, are your stories true?
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« Reply #1132 on: June 18, 2013, 09:18:26 PM »

Asteriktos, are your stories true?
Let's pretend that they are, for his sake Wink
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« Reply #1133 on: June 18, 2013, 09:19:25 PM »

Asteriktos, are your stories true?

I don't recall ever admitting publically that they are not. What is truth, after all? It's in the eye of the beholder. For example, maybe Achronos would have fallen head over heels in love with Tara? Who knows. They both like Eminem--already something in common! Anyway, I simply tell the stories and ask for advice: it is up to you all to accept these things in good faith. Believe, William, believe!
« Last Edit: June 18, 2013, 09:19:43 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1134 on: June 18, 2013, 10:24:41 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO
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« Reply #1135 on: June 18, 2013, 10:25:39 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
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« Reply #1136 on: June 18, 2013, 10:29:17 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry
« Last Edit: June 18, 2013, 10:29:31 PM by TheTrisagion » Logged

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« Reply #1137 on: June 18, 2013, 10:36:25 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry

Ok, you're not dead to me... I just can't let my dream die is all. I'll let you in on a little secret--but only on the condition that you tell no one. Deal? Ok then. I haven't dated a redhead since I was a teenager; it's been something like 19 years now, and I'm beginning to lose hope. 
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« Reply #1138 on: June 18, 2013, 10:49:48 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry

Ok, you're not dead to me... I just can't let my dream die is all. I'll let you in on a little secret--but only on the condition that you tell no one. Deal? Ok then. I haven't dated a redhead since I was a teenager; it's been something like 19 years now, and I'm beginning to lose hope. 
I have faith in you.  Go after your white whale.  When you find her, hogtie her, take her home and propose to her.  Most romantic kidnapping ever.
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« Reply #1139 on: June 18, 2013, 11:56:01 PM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry

Ok, you're not dead to me... I just can't let my dream die is all. I'll let you in on a little secret--but only on the condition that you tell no one. Deal? Ok then. I haven't dated a redhead since I was a teenager; it's been something like 19 years now, and I'm beginning to lose hope. 
I have faith in you.  Go after your white whale.  When you find her, hogtie her, take her home and propose to her.  Most romantic kidnapping ever.

This is Icky

See the Lukewarmodox thread as to why this type of humor fails.

Asteriktos: Redheads who change there hair color is not only a turnoff, it spells trouble, although you may be able to handle it.

I also have a redhead in mind for you. Way smarter than me. About your age. English by birth. You  may have to move to Colorado where she is a professor..
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« Reply #1140 on: June 19, 2013, 08:52:27 AM »


I have faith in you.  Go after your white whale.  When you find her, hogtie her, take her home and propose to her.  Most romantic kidnapping ever.

This is Icky

See the Lukewarmodox thread as to why this type of humor fails.

Oh, come on!  If he wants a girl that could be described as a whale then that is his personal choice!
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« Reply #1141 on: June 19, 2013, 09:14:34 AM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry

Ok, you're not dead to me... I just can't let my dream die is all. I'll let you in on a little secret--but only on the condition that you tell no one. Deal? Ok then. I haven't dated a redhead since I was a teenager; it's been something like 19 years now, and I'm beginning to lose hope. 
I have faith in you.  Go after your white whale.  When you find her, hogtie her, take her home and propose to her.  Most romantic kidnapping ever.

This is Icky

See the Lukewarmodox thread as to why this type of humor fails.

Asteriktos: Redheads who change there hair color is not only a turnoff, it spells trouble, although you may be able to handle it.

I also have a redhead in mind for you. Way smarter than me. About your age. English by birth. You  may have to move to Colorado where she is a professor..

You may not like my particular style of humor, but I don't see how it has anything to do w/ the Luke Warmodox thread.  Two different kinds of humor.  Tongue
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« Reply #1142 on: June 19, 2013, 09:37:13 AM »

Quote
Monika - So one of the last girls was Monika. I think I might actually go out on a date with her. She had fiery red hair, big green eyes, glasses... in a word, everything a guy could want in a girl!

NO

You are dead to me now.
TheTrisagion wept.  Cry

Ok, you're not dead to me... I just can't let my dream die is all. I'll let you in on a little secret--but only on the condition that you tell no one. Deal? Ok then. I haven't dated a redhead since I was a teenager; it's been something like 19 years now, and I'm beginning to lose hope. 
I have faith in you.  Go after your white whale.  When you find her, hogtie her, take her home and propose to her.  Most romantic kidnapping ever.

This is Icky

See the Lukewarmodox thread as to why this type of humor fails.

Asteriktos: Redheads who change there hair color is not only a turnoff, it spells trouble, although you may be able to handle it.

I also have a redhead in mind for you. Way smarter than me. About your age. English by birth. You  may have to move to Colorado where she is a professor..

You may not like my particular style of humor, but I don't see how it has anything to do w/ the Luke Warmodox thread.  Two different kinds of humor.  Tongue

Your too late. Vamrat already convinced me that I was wrong. And Asteriktos does like wrestling,  so trying to hogtie a whale might be a good way to see if they are compatible.
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« Reply #1143 on: June 19, 2013, 02:42:57 PM »

Asteriktos: Redheads who change there hair color is not only a turnoff, it spells trouble, although you may be able to handle it.

I also have a redhead in mind for you. Way smarter than me. About your age. English by birth. You  may have to move to Colorado where she is a professor..

Colorado? Sad Well, at least there's hope...


EDIT--But you know what, I am going to call her and try to set something up. Er, I mean Monika, not the girl in CO Smiley
« Last Edit: June 19, 2013, 02:43:34 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1144 on: June 19, 2013, 02:49:00 PM »

Ok! Set up a date for this Friday. Going to go to the local art/café thing at 5, and then discuss where we want to go later once we meet.
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« Reply #1145 on: June 19, 2013, 10:58:53 PM »

Oh no! Blake just called. He said he "knew about me and Sarah"!?  I was like "what are you talking about bro?" and he said "I hacked into her side of the computer and looked at her facebook messages, and I saw how you two were cheating together" and I was like "No way cuz, it's just a misunderstanding" and he got really mad and left. He lives like 2 hours away so I don't think he's gonna come here to confront me, but what do I do? Just when I meet Monika I have this Sarah thing happen. Just my luck! I'm going to call him in the morning and try to reason with him. I don't want anyone hurt!
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« Reply #1146 on: June 20, 2013, 10:17:58 AM »

I think the stalker thing is solved. My other cousin Bobby Jo apparently knew all about what was going on and talked to Blake. Blake and Sarah had a long talk she said and they patched things up and are going to Reno tonight.
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« Reply #1147 on: June 20, 2013, 12:52:28 PM »

You have a cousin named Bobbie Jo?  Things are more serious than I thought...
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« Reply #1148 on: June 20, 2013, 01:43:33 PM »

You have a cousin named Bobbie Jo?  Things are more serious than I thought...

What do you mean? Her mom was named Jo and dad was named Bob, and they couldn't pick out a name, so they went with Bobbie Jo. They also considered Joe Bob, but they thought naming a kid after their favorite film critic (Joe Bob Briggs) was a bit silly.
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« Reply #1149 on: June 20, 2013, 06:10:27 PM »

You have a cousin named Bobbie Jo?  Things are more serious than I thought...

What do you mean? Her mom was named Jo and dad was named Bob, and they couldn't pick out a name, so they went with Bobbie Jo. They also considered Joe Bob, but they thought naming a kid after their favorite film critic (Joe Bob Briggs) was a bit silly.
You aren't helping your case...  Wink
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« Reply #1150 on: June 20, 2013, 06:13:44 PM »

Well anyway, tomorrow is the big night. After the art/café I am thinking about asking if she wants to go roller skating.
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« Reply #1151 on: June 20, 2013, 07:47:04 PM »

I did that OkCupid My Best Face thing. Basically you load pics to the site, they put one of your pics next to that of someone else, people vote, and then they tell you the results. According to them people who like my recent bearded/book pic the most include:

Dorks
Geeks
Liberals
Nerds
Girls 18-30

And people who disliked it include:

Stoners
Girls over 30

« Last Edit: June 20, 2013, 07:47:51 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1152 on: June 21, 2013, 12:42:04 AM »

I did that OkCupid My Best Face thing. Basically you load pics to the site, they put one of your pics next to that of someone else, people vote, and then they tell you the results. According to them people who like my recent bearded/book pic the most include:

Dorks
Geeks
Liberals
Nerds
Girls 18-30

And people who disliked it include:

Stoners
Girls over 30



You are magic.
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« Reply #1153 on: June 21, 2013, 01:01:20 AM »

At my last bar trivia session, one of my teammates identified an all-girl team of about 7 members who were losing badly.  They were all college aged girls and none of them was attractive enough for me.  I think I've hit the stage in my life where I can't possibly date a girl when I'm old enough to be her father.  I didn't know how to make conversation besides being tempted to suggest that they join our team (whose numbers would have swelled from 4 to 11).
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 01:13:29 AM by SolEX01 » Logged
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« Reply #1154 on: June 21, 2013, 01:10:14 AM »

At my last bar trivia session, one of my teammates identified an all-girl team of about 7 members who were getting blown out.  They were all college aged girls and none of them was attractive enough for me.  I think I've hit the stage in my life where I can't possibly date a girl when I'm old enough to be her father.  I didn't know how to make conversation besides being tempted to suggest that they join our team (whose numbers would have swelled from 4 to 11).

*, explain to Sol where he missed an opportunity for an awesome double entendre.
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« Reply #1155 on: June 21, 2013, 01:14:44 AM »

At my last bar trivia session, one of my teammates identified an all-girl team of about 7 members who were getting blown out losing badly.  They were all college aged girls and none of them was attractive enough for me.  I think I've hit the stage in my life where I can't possibly date a girl when I'm old enough to be her father.  I didn't know how to make conversation besides being tempted to suggest that they join our team (whose numbers would have swelled from 4 to 11).

*, explain to Sol where he missed an opportunity for an awesome double entendre.

Thanks to your overactive imagination, I think I corrected the questionable text.   Embarrassed
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« Reply #1156 on: June 21, 2013, 01:20:18 AM »

At my last bar trivia session, one of my teammates identified an all-girl team of about 7 members who were getting blown out losing badly.  They were all college aged girls and none of them was attractive enough for me.  I think I've hit the stage in my life where I can't possibly date a girl when I'm old enough to be her father.  I didn't know how to make conversation besides being tempted to suggest that they join our team (whose numbers would have swelled from 4 to 11).

*, explain to Sol where he missed an opportunity for an awesome double entendre.

Thanks to your overactive imagination, I think I corrected the questionable text.   Embarrassed

No.

I was looking to include a double entendre. I am not sure if the redacted text would fit the definition of a double entendre.
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« Reply #1157 on: June 21, 2013, 01:27:20 AM »

No.

I was looking to include a double entendre. I am not sure if the redacted text would fit the definition of a double entendre.

Better safe than sorry.   Smiley
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« Reply #1158 on: June 21, 2013, 12:09:34 PM »

I did that OkCupid My Best Face thing. Basically you load pics to the site, they put one of your pics next to that of someone else, people vote, and then they tell you the results. According to them people who like my recent bearded/book pic the most include:

Dorks
Geeks
Liberals
Nerds
Girls 18-30

And people who disliked it include:

Stoners
Girls over 30



i'm over 30 and i liked your picture...
 Tongue
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« Reply #1159 on: June 21, 2013, 03:45:54 PM »

How should you respond if you do something like hold a door open for a girl and she comments on how sweet she thinks that is?
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« Reply #1160 on: June 21, 2013, 05:54:36 PM »

give her your number.
you'll be married within a few months.








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« Reply #1161 on: June 21, 2013, 05:57:19 PM »

I did that OkCupid My Best Face thing. Basically you load pics to the site, they put one of your pics next to that of someone else, people vote, and then they tell you the results. According to them people who like my recent bearded/book pic the most include:

Dorks
Geeks
Liberals
Nerds
Girls 18-30

And people who disliked it include:

Stoners
Girls over 30



That's not too bad, now is it?
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« Reply #1162 on: June 21, 2013, 11:37:04 PM »

I did that OkCupid My Best Face thing. Basically you load pics to the site, they put one of your pics next to that of someone else, people vote, and then they tell you the results. According to them people who like my recent bearded/book pic the most include:

Dorks
Geeks
Liberals
Nerds
Girls 18-30

And people who disliked it include:

Stoners
Girls over 30



i'm over 30 and i liked your picture...
 Tongue

Yay! Smiley  I was mostly just joking though, first becomes geeky girls are my "type," but mostly because it's a stereotype that older guys want to be with the younger girls.

And there was more to the joke, but that's enough of an explanation.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 11:50:02 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1163 on: June 21, 2013, 11:49:42 PM »

So my date with Monika was tonight. I think it went well. First we ordered our food at the café, and then looked around the art place while we waited. It was dizzying how great it was. Not that we discussed anything major, I mean, it was a first date after all, mostly just some light chit chat like the kind you'd find on facebook or twitter. For example, we exchanged views on the current instability in Syria, and a progressing reconstruction of the recently vandalized portion of the great wall of china taking place near Jiuquan, that kinda stuff. Then our food was ready, which was good because I was as hungry as a hog in July. I had the Chilean sea bass, and she had the filet mignon with foie gras. Sure it took my entire week's food budget to pay for it, but you gotta impress, ya know? Gotta keep things classy.

After that we went roller skating at the Y. They have a skating night down there in the gym, it's BYOS (bring your own skates), so we had to borrow a pair from her sister for her to wear, but that worked out ok. I fell on my butt a few times, which was embarrassing, but overall that was fun. Afterwards we went to Burlington Coat Factory to do some browsing, and she picked out this awesome looking bookcase hutch in the baby depot section, she got a really good deal on that. So after that I took her home and helped her take the furniture in. We kissed goodnight, and that was it. Outstanding night! Can't wait till our next date...
« Last Edit: June 21, 2013, 11:50:46 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

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« Reply #1164 on: June 22, 2013, 01:28:13 AM »

So my date with Monika was tonight. I think it went well. First we ordered our food at the café, and then looked around the art place while we waited. It was dizzying how great it was. Not that we discussed anything major, I mean, it was a first date after all, mostly just some light chit chat like the kind you'd find on facebook or twitter. For example, we exchanged views on the current instability in Syria, and a progressing reconstruction of the recently vandalized portion of the great wall of china taking place near Jiuquan, that kinda stuff. Then our food was ready, which was good because I was as hungry as a hog in July. I had the Chilean sea bass, and she had the filet mignon with foie gras. Sure it took my entire week's food budget to pay for it, but you gotta impress, ya know? Gotta keep things classy.

After that we went roller skating at the Y. They have a skating night down there in the gym, it's BYOS (bring your own skates), so we had to borrow a pair from her sister for her to wear, but that worked out ok. I fell on my butt a few times, which was embarrassing, but overall that was fun. Afterwards we went to Burlington Coat Factory to do some browsing, and she picked out this awesome looking bookcase hutch in the baby depot section, she got a really good deal on that. So after that I took her home and helped her take the furniture in. We kissed goodnight, and that was it. Outstanding night! Can't wait till our next date...

Lovely story Asteriktos. I hope this is true but the combination of Chilean sea bass and foie gras makes me wonder. I do get my $19 seersucker sport coats at Burlington, so you are in the right place for budget shopping. If it was her idea, she sounds sensible to me and conceivably would not cause you grief in the future.
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« Reply #1165 on: June 22, 2013, 02:17:15 AM »

How should you respond if you do something like hold a door open for a girl and she comments on how sweet she thinks that is?
You start up a conversation?

Or say only for you miss?
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« Reply #1166 on: June 27, 2013, 07:49:15 PM »

Some people say that I make jokes on this thread, but this is a very serious post. I have a certain discriminatory requirement when I am assessing a potential date/mate/bride. Specifically, I can't be with someone with stubby toes. I just can't. I'm sorry, it's just so off-putting. Does this make me a bad person?
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« Reply #1167 on: June 27, 2013, 10:35:40 PM »

Some people say that I make jokes on this thread, but this is a very serious post. I have a certain discriminatory requirement when I am assessing a potential date/mate/bride. Specifically, I can't be with someone with stubby toes. I just can't. I'm sorry, it's just so off-putting. Does this make me a bad person?
It depends on how you define stubby toes.  What is the maximum length of toes before you consider them unstubby?
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« Reply #1168 on: June 27, 2013, 10:43:55 PM »

I dunno, it's a visual thing I guess, not something I could measure.

Short:


Good:
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« Reply #1169 on: June 28, 2013, 08:05:53 AM »

I find both examples to be somewhat unattractive.  One is too short and the other just looks like alien phalanges.
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