Recently, in San Fransisco of all places, God found a man who reminded Him so much of Solomon that He decided to grant this man a wish. So He came to the man and told Him, "I have found you to be special among men. Ask of me anything, and I will grant it to you." The man thought for a minute and said, "My old mother has always wanted to go to Hawaii, yet she is afraid to fly and gets very sick when she is on a boat. Could you make a bridge between Hawaii and here so that she could visit by automobile?" God was very disappointed. Solomon had asked for wisdom, and this guy wants a bridge to Hawaii. God said to him "I, who am omnipotent, have wanted to grant you one wish, and this is the best that you could do? Solomon asked for wisdom, and you ask for a bridge?" The man was filled with shame and repented and said, "Yes, that was truly frivolous. Instead, I ask this of You: Could you please help me understand women?" There was a great silence, like unto had never been experienced on the Earth. Then God said "Did you want that bridge to have two lanes or four?"
I hope that was not blasphemous, but I think of this story anytime a man proclaims that he is in the business of giving relationship advice.