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William
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« on: July 17, 2011, 03:03:07 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?
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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2011, 03:05:21 PM »

If it's just a verbal run-of-the-mill insult, I would guess that we're not supposed to care. Turn the cheek kind of thing. The only thing that prompts us to respond is our pride and a desire to "save face" in a public setting.
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« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2011, 03:25:41 PM »

Ask for forgiveness that you have aroused such unrest in them. But only if you can muster a genuine apology (unlike me). Otherwise just ignore it.
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« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2011, 03:52:21 PM »

Forgive them. Forget it ever happened. Muse briefly on the fact that burning at the stake is now out of style.
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« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2011, 04:34:50 PM »

^LOL!

If its a personal insult, let it go.

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« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2011, 04:46:46 PM »

Rebuke them in the name of Jesus Christ.  Wink
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« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2011, 04:51:31 PM »

Punch them in the gobbler! YEAH! IN THE FACE!!  angel

Or just nonchalantly accept it. Perhaps it was deserved, perhaps not. Joke with it perhaps. But overall take little notice of it.
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2011, 06:39:27 PM »

Seems pretty clear what you are supposed to do.
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« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2011, 07:24:00 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2011, 08:19:34 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?



I think that's the first male ninja-boot I've ever seen. No wonder he's ready to scrap!
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2011, 08:21:09 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I thought we were supposed to take it as a blessing. Easier said than done, of course.
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« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2011, 08:25:18 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?



If I had a mustache like that, I'd be fighting all the time.  From that stance.  Wearing only those pants and boots.
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« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2011, 08:54:05 PM »

"An insult is like a drink.  It only affects one if it is accepted."

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« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2011, 10:45:53 PM »

Romans 12:20

I find it ticks enemies off more when you respond to their hatred or insults with a smile. Smiley Hard to do, I know....but it actually angers them to find they are not getting your goat.
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« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2011, 11:24:26 PM »

Romans 12:20

I find it ticks enemies off more when you respond to their hatred or insults with a smile. Smiley Hard to do, I know....but it actually angers them to find they are not getting your goat.

Try that where I live and you will get beaten.
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« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2011, 11:27:04 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?



If I had a mustache like that, I'd be fighting all the time.  From that stance.  Wearing only those pants and boots.

When you fight Queensberry Rules you are fighting all the time.

It's the cricket of boxing.

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« Reply #16 on: July 18, 2011, 12:44:28 AM »

I'm actually glad my ninja-boot comment just passed over. Embarrassed Ah, the innocence...


When you fight Queensberry Rules you are fighting all the time.

It's the cricket of boxing.



For 3 minutes at a time anyway. One minute rest in between. The strangest rule?

Quote
11. No shoes or boots with springs allowed.

That must've been a real problem?

http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/spring03/bueneventura/rules.htm
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« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2011, 01:46:16 AM »

I'm actually glad my ninja-boot comment just passed over. Embarrassed Ah, the innocence...


When you fight Queensberry Rules you are fighting all the time.

It's the cricket of boxing.



For 3 minutes at a time anyway. One minute rest in between. The strangest rule?

Quote
11. No shoes or boots with springs allowed.

That must've been a real problem?

http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/spring03/bueneventura/rules.htm

The Queensbury Rules are quite interesting and became rather Byzantine and created a strikingly different pugilist sport than most could imagine.

It is the only sorta fighting that could only come out of England.

But it was gave the charade of boxing that we have today.

I miss the good ol' days of boxing.

Still love bare knuckles bouts and did some light boxing this weekend.







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« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2011, 07:23:49 AM »

The following is common practice of orthodox Jews against Christian monastics in the Holy Land:
I was walking down the street bordering West Jerusalem (an orthodox Jewish neighborhood) and East Jerusalem Arab area. Two boys barely out of shorts and Bar Mitzvah approached me and spat on my veil (I'm glad they had no infection!).
My first and only reaction was to answer in my only Hebrew: Thank you very much. Soon afterwards I remembered they had done the same to my Savior!
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« Reply #19 on: July 18, 2011, 09:50:37 AM »

Adelphi,

Thank you for bringing the topic back on topic again!

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« Reply #20 on: July 18, 2011, 09:58:52 AM »

The following is common practice of orthodox Jews against Christian monastics in the Holy Land:
I was walking down the street bordering West Jerusalem (an orthodox Jewish neighborhood) and East Jerusalem Arab area. Two boys barely out of shorts and Bar Mitzvah approached me and spat on my veil (I'm glad they had no infection!).
My first and only reaction was to answer in my only Hebrew: Thank you very much. Soon afterwards I remembered they had done the same to my Savior!

Adelphi, As an Orthodox catechumen who grew up as an Orthodox Jew, I am absolutely horrified they did that to you, and I apologize to you on their behalf.

I was recently reading of an attack done by ultra-nationalist Jews in the Holy Land, against the messianic Jews...a bomb was planted in their doorway wrapped as a gift...it was meant for the messianic pastor, but his son opened it and almost killed him. As horrific as all of these events are, they remind me of the words of Christ when He said, "A time cometh when he who killeth you will think he does God a service". Little do they realize that by their very actions, they are fulfilling the words OF Christ!
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« Reply #21 on: July 18, 2011, 10:28:40 AM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

We are not supposed to harbor any anger or resentment. I suppose the best reaction would be the one done in love for the benefit of the other person.
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« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2011, 11:16:47 AM »

Dearest Xenia,
Orthodox Jews who go to Israel to live or are born in Israel sadly have a different mindset to those in the diaspora. Undoubtedly there must be some who are not of this mindset in Israel, but I never met one. Adults just overtly gathered the saliva in their mouths and spat on the ground near us. To tell you the truth, I felt much safer in the Muslim neighborhood where I lived than in the Orthodox Jewish areas. Non-Orthodox Jews were, on the whole openly friendly, if not, then civil and polite. All non-Orthodox Jews I met who were from the diaspora were lovely people.
Incidentally, I still go to the kosher shop to by my non-dairy pesto sauce! Yummy it is too! Good for fasting periods with our pasta.
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« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2011, 11:54:16 AM »

I would not let it get to me and keep going about my merry way. That being said, if they actually attacked me then thats a different story. Pain and a news story would follow.

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« Reply #24 on: July 20, 2011, 03:07:30 PM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I as very taken by this story when I first was taught it recently:
http://www.groca.org/?p=607

A brother came to see Abba Macarius the Egyptian, and said to him, ‘Abba, give me a word, that I may be saved.’ So the old man said, ‘Go to the cemetery and abuse the dead.’ The brother went there, abused them and threw stones at them; then he returned and told the old man about it. The latter said to him, ‘Didn’t they say anything to you?’ He replied, ‘No.’ The old man said, ‘Go back tomorrow and praise them.’ So the brother went away and praised them, calling them, ‘Apostles, saints and righteous men.’ He returned to the old man and said to him, ‘I have complimented them.’ And the old man said to him, ‘You know how you insulted them and they did not reply, and how you praised them and they did not speak; so you too if you wish to be saved must do the same and become a dead man. Like the dead, take no account of either the scorn of men or their praises, and you can be saved.’

Yes, I realize that this advice is very hard to follow.
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« Reply #25 on: July 21, 2011, 08:02:14 AM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I always try to separate my internal and external reactions, reminding myself that they can, and often are, quite different and the more delay from one to the other, the better, whether it's a natural delay or an enforced one by myself.

A general rule i find works is whether the individual is known to me or not and in what capacity. If it's a professional relationship, i am much more likely to respond than if the acquaintance is casual or even random and unknown and the responses would be entirely different.

If it happens to be a friend or family member then the situation is more likely to provoke a reaction in me, rather than a response; it's more likely that the insult would be face to face and immediate and it also more likely to genuinely hurt. In this situation i would take responsibility in that, i should know those closest to me well enough to know where the soft spots are in our relationships. If i have not taken time to understand this, then the fault is mine if i am offended. Often when there is personality clashes within family and friend relationships, it's a good idea to develop a strategy to avoid certain hotspots by coming into a situation prepared to give, rather than nervous and defensive. If i have not prepared, then the fault is mine. I should also be up to date, in my closest relationships, with any difficult times people are going through, which can so often provoke a sharp retort or an ordinarily unspoken opinion. If i am not up to date, then the fault is again, mine, for being offended.

~ Dyhn
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« Reply #26 on: July 22, 2011, 02:35:57 AM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I always try to separate my internal and external reactions, reminding myself that they can, and often are, quite different and the more delay from one to the other, the better, whether it's a natural delay or an enforced one by myself.

A general rule i find works is whether the individual is known to me or not and in what capacity. If it's a professional relationship, i am much more likely to respond than if the acquaintance is casual or even random and unknown and the responses would be entirely different.

If it happens to be a friend or family member then the situation is more likely to provoke a reaction in me, rather than a response; it's more likely that the insult would be face to face and immediate and it also more likely to genuinely hurt. In this situation i would take responsibility in that, i should know those closest to me well enough to know where the soft spots are in our relationships. If i have not taken time to understand this, then the fault is mine if i am offended. Often when there is personality clashes within family and friend relationships, it's a good idea to develop a strategy to avoid certain hotspots by coming into a situation prepared to give, rather than nervous and defensive. If i have not prepared, then the fault is mine. I should also be up to date, in my closest relationships, with any difficult times people are going through, which can so often provoke a sharp retort or an ordinarily unspoken opinion. If i am not up to date, then the fault is again, mine, for being offended.

~ Dyhn


that dont change the fact that you was still insulted no matter who it was from uh??
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« Reply #27 on: July 25, 2011, 09:13:43 AM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I always try to separate my internal and external reactions, reminding myself that they can, and often are, quite different and the more delay from one to the other, the better, whether it's a natural delay or an enforced one by myself.

A general rule i find works is whether the individual is known to me or not and in what capacity. If it's a professional relationship, i am much more likely to respond than if the acquaintance is casual or even random and unknown and the responses would be entirely different.

If it happens to be a friend or family member then the situation is more likely to provoke a reaction in me, rather than a response; it's more likely that the insult would be face to face and immediate and it also more likely to genuinely hurt. In this situation i would take responsibility in that, i should know those closest to me well enough to know where the soft spots are in our relationships. If i have not taken time to understand this, then the fault is mine if i am offended. Often when there is personality clashes within family and friend relationships, it's a good idea to develop a strategy to avoid certain hotspots by coming into a situation prepared to give, rather than nervous and defensive. If i have not prepared, then the fault is mine. I should also be up to date, in my closest relationships, with any difficult times people are going through, which can so often provoke a sharp retort or an ordinarily unspoken opinion. If i am not up to date, then the fault is again, mine, for being offended.

~ Dyhn


that dont change the fact that you was still insulted no matter who it was from uh??

I'm not so sure Poppy, if it's a family member or friend and you understand why they have said it, is it still insulting or has the focus shifted from you to them? Surely an insult is only an insult if it insults you.

If it is a professional at work and you are a customer, then as i have already said, my response would be slightly different.

If it is someone with whom you have no relationship, then the only significance in their words could be to furnish you with insight into the pattern of their life. The only real significance of a stranger's attempt at insulting you might be in the beliefs you already hold about yourself and if what you hear from their lips is more of an echo from within. In that case your validation of it as an insult, would indeed be telling.

~ Dyhn
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« Reply #28 on: July 25, 2011, 11:55:14 AM »

How is a Christian supposed to react when they're insulted? Ignore the person who insulted them? Demand an apology? Give them a tongue lashing? Challenge them to a duel?

I always try to separate my internal and external reactions, reminding myself that they can, and often are, quite different and the more delay from one to the other, the better, whether it's a natural delay or an enforced one by myself.

A general rule i find works is whether the individual is known to me or not and in what capacity. If it's a professional relationship, i am much more likely to respond than if the acquaintance is casual or even random and unknown and the responses would be entirely different.

If it happens to be a friend or family member then the situation is more likely to provoke a reaction in me, rather than a response; it's more likely that the insult would be face to face and immediate and it also more likely to genuinely hurt. In this situation i would take responsibility in that, i should know those closest to me well enough to know where the soft spots are in our relationships. If i have not taken time to understand this, then the fault is mine if i am offended. Often when there is personality clashes within family and friend relationships, it's a good idea to develop a strategy to avoid certain hotspots by coming into a situation prepared to give, rather than nervous and defensive. If i have not prepared, then the fault is mine. I should also be up to date, in my closest relationships, with any difficult times people are going through, which can so often provoke a sharp retort or an ordinarily unspoken opinion. If i am not up to date, then the fault is again, mine, for being offended.

~ Dyhn


that dont change the fact that you was still insulted no matter who it was from uh??

I'm not so sure Poppy, if it's a family member or friend and you understand why they have said it, is it still insulting or has the focus shifted from you to them? Surely an insult is only an insult if it insults you.

If it is a professional at work and you are a customer, then as i have already said, my response would be slightly different.

If it is someone with whom you have no relationship, then the only significance in their words could be to furnish you with insight into the pattern of their life. The only real significance of a stranger's attempt at insulting you might be in the beliefs you already hold about yourself and if what you hear from their lips is more of an echo from within. In that case your validation of it as an insult, would indeed be telling.

~ Dyhn
(we had this discussion before lolOl)
No but its the actual words that is insulting it dont matter about the person who says them if the words them selves are a insult then that is fixed and unchangable. It doesnt bother me any what it shows up in me but if you dont challenge the words then they are just left out there unchallenged and not true. Also if you dont challenge them then its like you agree with them!!!!! whoEVER says them.
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« Reply #29 on: August 08, 2011, 12:58:14 PM »

They are words, not necessarily true words Poppy and not all words require a response.

~ Dyhn
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« Reply #30 on: August 08, 2011, 12:59:03 PM »

They are words, not necessarily true words Poppy and not all words require a response.

~ Dyhn
Much easier said than done, but very true. Smiley
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« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2011, 10:34:01 AM »

Yeah exactly IsmiLiora.

You are a rli self-controlled person Dyhn so you can think all this stuff through and not let your emotions get in the way but for majority of people it isn't like that especialley right IN that moment. I am good with controlling my feelings but not my emotions so when things are said or done and i have a reaction its rli difficult to reason with myself right in that moment. Then later i think about what was said or done and i can't leave it because even the bible says every word shall be accounted for.....thats because every word matters. Gods words matter and he has created people with ability to speak and be creative in words and language maybe thats why words affect people because they are living like God who made them is.

I'm not saying i completely believe that but i'm just saying its a possibility huh??
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« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2011, 11:29:23 AM »

Turning the other cheek, remaining silent, just "ignoring" it.. never made it go away for me.  When you're in Middle School and High School, you can ignore it all the day long and not give a response -- it doesn't mean the kids won't stop.  This is what I attempted to do for the longest time, but after so many years it just starts to really bother you.  How do you just "ignore" it constantly, without in the least big getting slightly emotional?  My teenage mind could never comprehend such a scenario, as my brain would go into overload with how to handle it.  And then you wonder why many teenagers do not know how to handle bullying..
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« Reply #33 on: August 09, 2011, 11:36:22 AM »

Perhaps it's just my own sense of humor, but I learned very early on (like 2nd grade age) to turn insults around and take their power away by laughing at myself.  Nothing disarms a verbal bully like taking away his power in such a way.  I was a weird kid already and if the most someone could do was end up saying, "Man, you're weird," it was nothing.  I knew I was a weird already.  Words are just that.  Yes, they have power, but if you can remove or even redirect that power, what started out as a weapon designed to hurt you can be turned around on the perpetrator, so to speak. 

The only insults/words that ever truly hurt me are those that came from people whose opinion I respected.  Most of the time, I probably deserved the verbal dressing down, but on the rare occasions that I didn't, they really stung.  These people usually apologized and I'm no longer close to the few that never did.

Physical bullies, well, that's another story. 
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« Reply #34 on: August 09, 2011, 12:24:02 PM »

Good advice Schultz.

I was on the other end flinging insults, and I actually still regret it to a particular person. What could have been a fantastic lifelong friend ended up him moving out of state because of my arrogant smarmy ass. I was an awful person, maybe still am based on my thoughts.

Anyway turn the other cheek and really just laugh it off or play along with it. It's funny how that can defuse a situation so fast, who knows if you do that you might make friends with the enemy.

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« Reply #35 on: August 09, 2011, 12:43:34 PM »

Good advice Schultz.

I was on the other end flinging insults, and I actually still regret it to a particular person. What could have been a fantastic lifelong friend ended up him moving out of state because of my arrogant smarmy ass. I was an awful person, maybe still am based on my thoughts.

Anyway turn the other cheek and really just laugh it off or play along with it. It's funny how that can defuse a situation so fast, who knows if you do that you might make friends with the enemy.



I couldnt disagree with you and Schultz more strongly.

When your with friends?? Sure, don't take yourself seriously and rise to every thing or you wont have any friendships left if you do because you will be too precious to be around. But there your friends and taking the p out of each other is normal and funny when your with friends haha...

People who are not your friends and just people you know or come across WAY WAY different. You have to take yourself seriously and respect yourself or you lie to yourself if you laugh at yourself in front of them. That might get you out of the situation but you wont respect yourself and you will end up bringing on a whole more heap of trouble because them type of people can see that your not strong enough to deal with it. I always go in hard when someone is in my face even if i loose, most of the time i don't. Like Ave Christe said that it can go on for the longest time if you don't deal with it full on and directly.

Anyways bullying is different to just random insults that come from several places.
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« Reply #36 on: August 09, 2011, 12:45:47 PM »

As Christians, one of the first things that should go out the window is our personal pride and dignity. A random insult, from a stranger, should not matter at the end of the day.

There's a difference between not saying or doing anything and making a fool of yourself by starting a fight over a stupid verbal insult. There is a middle ground. But sometimes, it's not even worth it to respond, because it only indicates that I care how much a random stranger thinks about me.
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« Reply #37 on: August 09, 2011, 12:50:16 PM »

yeah IsmiLiora, a "random" stranger -- however in the context I was referring to, the kids are not "random" strangers.  They are kids you see every day when you go to school.. and you probably know their names just based off of gossip, and listening to teachers and what everyone else is saying. 
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« Reply #38 on: August 09, 2011, 12:51:57 PM »

Like I said, there is a middle ground. There isn't one answer for every situation, so I can't speak to that. I have done everything from completely ignoring fellow classmates to verbal confrontations. I just make sure that the latter is really, really necessary.
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« Reply #39 on: August 09, 2011, 12:58:23 PM »

Good advice Schultz.

I was on the other end flinging insults, and I actually still regret it to a particular person. What could have been a fantastic lifelong friend ended up him moving out of state because of my arrogant smarmy ass. I was an awful person, maybe still am based on my thoughts.

Anyway turn the other cheek and really just laugh it off or play along with it. It's funny how that can defuse a situation so fast, who knows if you do that you might make friends with the enemy.



I couldnt disagree with you and Schultz more strongly.

When your with friends?? Sure, don't take yourself seriously and rise to every thing or you wont have any friendships left if you do because you will be too precious to be around. But there your friends and taking the p out of each other is normal and funny when your with friends haha...

People who are not your friends and just people you know or come across WAY WAY different. You have to take yourself seriously and respect yourself or you lie to yourself if you laugh at yourself in front of them. That might get you out of the situation but you wont respect yourself and you will end up bringing on a whole more heap of trouble because them type of people can see that your not strong enough to deal with it. I always go in hard when someone is in my face even if i loose, most of the time i don't. Like Ave Christe said that it can go on for the longest time if you don't deal with it full on and directly.

I would say the fact that I do not let the words of some random stranger who is trying to take the piss with me affect me in the slightest shows I have far more respect and security with myself than someone who gets their knickers in a twist because some random chav decided to call me a wanker or whatever.  It's nothing more than chirping of crickets.

And I write this as a 36 year old man who spent the first half of his life as the proverbial 98 pound weakling but who managed to captain the high school swim team (and break a few old school records, to boot!), lead the honor society as its president, and graduate in the top 20 of my class of 453, and find time to engage myself in socio-political groups such as Food Not Bombs.  By the time I hit college and moved away, I decided to reinvent myself as a tough guy and dealt with things the way you are describing, which only led to me being a four-letter word (take your pick) for quite some time.  One of my good friends, who actually is the tough guy I was trying to be, once told me that he liked me better when I wasn't trying to be a hardcase and was the funny guy he knew I was.  That stuck with me and, to this day, I let it be my guide.

Perhaps we just have different personalities where you have difficulty in understanding the power of self-deprecating humor.  The ability to laugh at oneself in the face of ridiculous and baseless insults from mental midgets who can't piece together a cogent argument (or can't simply say, "I don't like you" and walk away) and have to resort to childish insults in order to bolster their own pithy self-worth is the most powerful tool I have at my disposal.  And I've never been told, "Man, what's wrong with you?  Why'd you let that guy get away with calling you a #&$*?"  but I've often been told, "Dude, I admire you.  I would never be able to do what you just did but I wish I could."

THAT, my friend, is respect.
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« Reply #40 on: August 09, 2011, 01:32:35 PM »

Good advice Schultz.

I was on the other end flinging insults, and I actually still regret it to a particular person. What could have been a fantastic lifelong friend ended up him moving out of state because of my arrogant smarmy ass. I was an awful person, maybe still am based on my thoughts.

Anyway turn the other cheek and really just laugh it off or play along with it. It's funny how that can defuse a situation so fast, who knows if you do that you might make friends with the enemy.



I couldnt disagree with you and Schultz more strongly.

When your with friends?? Sure, don't take yourself seriously and rise to every thing or you wont have any friendships left if you do because you will be too precious to be around. But there your friends and taking the p out of each other is normal and funny when your with friends haha...

People who are not your friends and just people you know or come across WAY WAY different. You have to take yourself seriously and respect yourself or you lie to yourself if you laugh at yourself in front of them. That might get you out of the situation but you wont respect yourself and you will end up bringing on a whole more heap of trouble because them type of people can see that your not strong enough to deal with it. I always go in hard when someone is in my face even if i loose, most of the time i don't. Like Ave Christe said that it can go on for the longest time if you don't deal with it full on and directly.

I would say the fact that I do not let the words of some random stranger who is trying to take the piss with me affect me in the slightest shows I have far more respect and security with myself than someone who gets their knickers in a twist because some random chav decided to call me a wanker or whatever.  It's nothing more than chirping of crickets.

And I write this as a 36 year old man who spent the first half of his life as the proverbial 98 pound weakling but who managed to captain the high school swim team (and break a few old school records, to boot!), lead the honor society as its president, and graduate in the top 20 of my class of 453, and find time to engage myself in socio-political groups such as Food Not Bombs.  By the time I hit college and moved away, I decided to reinvent myself as a tough guy and dealt with things the way you are describing, which only led to me being a four-letter word (take your pick) for quite some time.  One of my good friends, who actually is the tough guy I was trying to be, once told me that he liked me better when I wasn't trying to be a hardcase and was the funny guy he knew I was.  That stuck with me and, to this day, I let it be my guide.

Perhaps we just have different personalities where you have difficulty in understanding the power of self-deprecating humor.  The ability to laugh at oneself in the face of ridiculous and baseless insults from mental midgets who can't piece together a cogent argument (or can't simply say, "I don't like you" and walk away) and have to resort to childish insults in order to bolster their own pithy self-worth is the most powerful tool I have at my disposal.  And I've never been told, "Man, what's wrong with you?  Why'd you let that guy get away with calling you a #&$*?"  but I've often been told, "Dude, I admire you.  I would never be able to do what you just did but I wish I could."

THAT, my friend, is respect.


Ok i see your point and respect to you for doing what you do purposefully and haveing a passionate reason for why you do it. When i have come across people who do what you described usually they don't have the same reasons for it. Sorry for assuming that you was in the same catagory as them.

I dont think we will agree totally on what the best thing is to do. Probably because yeah we are two different personalities but so we just do our thing and it works for us.

I don't think everyone who stands there ground in the way i do is a four letter word though. There is different ways of doing that as well. Just like there is different reasons for doing what you do.
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« Reply #41 on: August 09, 2011, 01:39:24 PM »

And then you wonder why many teenagers do not know how to handle bullying..

The only way to handle bullying is to not be a victim.

W/eva way you find to work it out without breaking the law?? Fierce. Just don't BE that person.
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« Reply #42 on: August 09, 2011, 01:51:29 PM »

Some literally just asked me if I am on crack, in a male territory establishing manner.

Now, I really don't take this as an insult. But I must keep the reasonable lines of dominance drawn.

However, I did try to explain to him that when I was on crack, no one ever asked me that question. But now that I that I no longer am, I get asked it frequently.

Everyone laughed except him.

Humor > threats any day.

I also went into my whole, I hate when people say "x is better than crack" rant. Invariably they are people who have never smoked a single 20 rock in their lives.

I really take issue with this.

BTW, some things are better than crack, just not very many.

I was really hoping this was going to be an unmodded place insult each other.

That, my dear ladies and gentlemen, would be better than crack.



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« Reply #43 on: August 10, 2011, 11:43:09 AM »

Some literally just asked me if I am on crack, in a male territory establishing manner.

Now, I really don't take this as an insult. But I must keep the reasonable lines of dominance drawn.

However, I did try to explain to him that when I was on crack, no one ever asked me that question. But now that I that I no longer am, I get asked it frequently.

Everyone laughed except him.

Humor > threats any day.

I also went into my whole, I hate when people say "x is better than crack" rant. Invariably they are people who have never smoked a single 20 rock in their lives.

I really take issue with this.

BTW, some things are better than crack, just not very many.

I was really hoping this was going to be an unmodded place insult each other.

That, my dear ladies and gentlemen, would be better than crack.


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« Reply #44 on: August 10, 2011, 11:59:57 AM »

I also went into my whole, I hate when people say "x is better than crack" rant. Invariably they are people who have never smoked a single 20 rock in their lives.

I really take issue with this.

BTW, some things are better than crack, just not very many.

Isn't that the... point?
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« Reply #45 on: August 10, 2011, 12:02:48 PM »

Some literally just asked me if I am on crack, in a male territory establishing manner.

Now, I really don't take this as an insult. But I must keep the reasonable lines of dominance drawn.

However, I did try to explain to him that when I was on crack, no one ever asked me that question. But now that I that I no longer am, I get asked it frequently.

Everyone laughed except him.

Humor > threats any day.

I also went into my whole, I hate when people say "x is better than crack" rant. Invariably they are people who have never smoked a single 20 rock in their lives.

I really take issue with this.

BTW, some things are better than crack, just not very many.

I was really hoping this was going to be an unmodded place insult each other.

That, my dear ladies and gentlemen, would be better than crack.


The Office is a good show, isn't it?

Don't know what your point is, but no I have never seen it.
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« Reply #46 on: August 30, 2012, 09:25:01 PM »

Where do you draw the line between standing up for yourself and repaying evil with evil?
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« Reply #47 on: August 30, 2012, 10:27:39 PM »

I've been wondering that as well. People insult my all the time about my age on here whenever I make a logical point to them and they are too lazy to respond directly to it.
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« Reply #48 on: August 31, 2012, 12:37:48 AM »

I've been wondering that as well. People insult my all the time about my age on here whenever I make a logical point to them and they are too lazy to respond directly to it.

Guess you're too young to recognize your own insults?
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« Reply #49 on: August 31, 2012, 12:50:18 AM »

I've been wondering that as well. People insult my all the time about my age on here whenever I make a logical point to them and they are too lazy to respond directly to it.

You might be surprised at how much your own idea of what is logical can change as you age and (God willing) grow in experience and wisdom.
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« Reply #50 on: August 31, 2012, 07:25:59 AM »

'A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger' ?
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« Reply #51 on: August 31, 2012, 08:20:19 AM »

Is this still in convert issues?
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« Reply #52 on: August 31, 2012, 09:20:18 AM »

Is this still in convert issues?
Huh
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« Reply #53 on: August 31, 2012, 11:49:21 AM »

For those looking for a sturdier approach, here is the prayer of St. Nicholai Velimirovich, from his Prayers by the Lake

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Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath your tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.


Full quote here: http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles/VelimirovichBlessEnemies.php
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« Reply #54 on: August 31, 2012, 12:18:31 PM »

Moderators Comment:

Yes this is still in Convert Issues as many converts have issues that they are seeking information on that helps them to make their transition to the church more smoothly. I do ask that we do not insult any member on this forum and that you remain civil and loving when discoursing on these topics. There are other parts of the OC.net where you may  spar with each other in a Christian fashion. The Private Boards allow more rancor than do the public boards and the convert issues forum expects "Church -like behavior" at all times (i.e. if you would not say it in front of your priest, it probably is inappropriate here in the Convert Issue Forum).

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« Reply #55 on: September 01, 2012, 04:55:42 PM »

Is this still in convert issues?

It is.

Maybe I just want someone to tell me that it's okay to not turn the other cheek. Maybe there's some wiggle room, some biblical characters (including Christ) didn't just ignore things when insulted (though monastic saints seemed to have). I dunno.
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« Reply #56 on: September 01, 2012, 05:05:00 PM »

It would seem that the monastics often do not react to insults because insult often involves a bruised ego, and they are trying not to feed that particular passion, as humility is to be prized above all else. I would have a hard time imagining that any of Christ's reactions were so petty, either. As for the rest of us...well, each one knows that he has work to do. So rather than looking for wiggle-room or loopholes by which you can avenge yourself, it's probably better to look for ways to find yourself as having done nothing good before God (as Abba Isaac teaches us), so as to grow in humility and lessen the ego. Granted, it's easier said than done, but then isn't everything in the Christian life...  Smiley
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« Reply #57 on: September 01, 2012, 05:35:46 PM »

I just give other people the opportunity to be humble.
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« Reply #58 on: September 01, 2012, 05:39:49 PM »

Hahaha. That's good, too. Well played.
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« Reply #59 on: September 04, 2012, 12:39:34 AM »

I recall the story of a monk who wanted to attain humility and utterly free himself from the bondage of self-esteem. His spiritual father instructed him to pay a person every time they insulted him. And so he did so for several years before his spiritual father ended this obedience for the monk. Not long after, he entered Athens, and the first person to say something to him was an old man who cursed at him for some reason or another, and the monk began to laugh. Surprised, the old man asked why he was laughing. The monk replied, "I have had to pay people for that for years, and now you give it to me for free!"

 Smiley
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