how can you judge yourself as to whether you are too spiritual or not?? In all the activities in life.... and life is to be enjoyed no matter what thing it is people find to do.... what might be silly to one person might be worthwhile to another. I don't mean switching on and off with God.... i mean when someone becomes way to serious so that everything is intensly spiritual and they do almost nothing that is just a timewaster.
Everything that Jesus did seems to be like that but then again..... the only things documented would have been things that were significant i guess. But he must have had times where he just kicked off and was his human self!!! But then if he was chatting in the temple at 12 he might have been serious and purposefull all the time.
How do you judge the healthy ballance in yourself of things you spend your time on and how spiritual someone is??
I have heard one definition of spirituality as "the way we deal with the hand we've been dealt". Wealth, poverty, health, sickness, and the big one that looms over us all, our ultimate death; a brittle disposition, an addictive personality, an unhappy marriage, a bad temper - our spirituality is essentially in what we do about those things that are to a greater or lesser extent "given", which are not
of our own making or choosing. By this definition everyone has a "spirituality". Those who just think about pleasure and the comfort of themselves and perhaps their immediate family and friends still have a "spirituality" - it is just that their way of dealing with the hand they've been dealt is a kind of "blissful ignorance". I don't believe this way is a particularly effective form of spirituality of course, as it doesn't do anything to prepare a person for times of disease, bad fortune, or death; but it is still a form of "spirituality".
Now, the Orthodox Study Bible gives this definition of spirituality:
SPIRITUALITY: The ascetic and pious struggle against sin, through repentance, prayer, fasting and participation in the sacramental life of the Church
Which is a definition I like. It isn't at odds with the other definition I gave further up (which I also like) because the OSB's definition is specifically the Christian
"way we deal with the hand we've been dealt". And the lives of the Saints show us it is effective.
Now I haven't answered your question yet and I know this - I'm just trying to re-frame it a little. When you talk about someone being "intensely spiritual", you're referring to those who appear to "struggle against sin, through repentance, prayer, fasting and participation in the sacramental life of the Church"
all the time. But both definitions of Spirituality given describe "being spiritual" as a means to an end (salvation) and not an end in itself. Being pious can
lead us to salvation (but it might also lead some off into arrogance or delusion), but being pious does not equal salvation. Therefore if at some point in our lives, or even regularly, we need to "relax" in order to carry on the path of Salvation then we should relax. If, however, kicking back encourages us to be lazy or revert to past sins then we should concentrate more on asceticism. And in between the two extremes there are many shades. And so it leads onto your other question:
How do you judge the healthy ballance in yourself
The answer is that you probably can't with any great ease. "To know oneself is a miracle greater than raising the dead" says St Isaac the Syrian. This is why in Orthodoxy there is the practice of having confessors and spiritual elders (often - but not always - priests), who can offer guidance. They will be able to offer guidance because you will confess to them your sins, and so they know what you must struggle the most against. Your struggles are your own, but have no doubt someone will have been there before you, and so they can offer the best path for you. This requires honesty of course - not in revealing everything about yourself to everyone, which you rightly hate, but in being transparent with at least one person you really, really, trust. God will give you such a person at some point.
Beyond that, as has been mentioned, be in the company of Godly people. I'm not saying anything against Reading, but just in case you cannot find anyone, then another way is to read the lives of the Saints. They are not all the same, indeed there is huge diversity among them, and so within their ranks there will be one or two who, through their lives, deeds and words, "speak to you". You will recognize in them yourself, to a certain degree, and so by looking at their lives and consequences you'll be given a template for your own life.