Yeshuaisaism, the reason your "perfect" religion doesn't exist is because it is a man-made religion, in fact, one made by just one man...
"1) The theology and beauty in prayer, the depth of the soul wrenching and deep spirituality of the Eastern Orthodox."
I think we can both agree that this is very important. No argument there.
"2) The lives lived as the Anabaptists in simplicity, charity, in community, in non-resistance, with less than a 2% divorce rate."
While I do think a divorce rate of less than 2% would be phenomenal (and while we are shooting for things that would be nearly impossible to get to happen without some major miracles, on a wide scale anyways, why not shoot for no divorce?), it is important to remember that very few anabaptists actually live the kind of life you are thinking of (the Amish life). Also, if you want a simple life, I recommend you start by canceling your internet, phone, and television services. I also recommend you sell off your electronic devices and go buy a wood burning stove. While we're at it, why not get rid of your car and bicycle, then your life will be much simpler as you only need think about any locations or people that live within walking distance of you. As for charity, if you wish to be exceptionally charitable, you could sell everything you own, and start living in some tiny one-room apartment in the crappy part of town, and eating only at soup kitchens, and having no electricity or water, and donate all of your income to charitable groups. As for community, I have heard that in some places the homeless community sticks together. You could go live with them. Oh, and you will get to practice non-resistance there, by not trying to keep people from stealing your coffee can full of money you collected that day.
"3) Every man washes every man's feet, and every woman washes every woman's feet. This humbles EVERYBODY."
It is also fairly pointless in today's society because most people's feet stay fairly clean given that most people don't have to wear sandals everywhere.
"4) Very modest dress for women as they respect themselves. Head coverings. Home made non exploitive clothes for everyone."
I agree that modest clothes for women - and men - should be worn, though I am not quite sure why we should want to make them only wear dresses. Why not blouses and skirts? Also, very few people actually know how to make clothes, and it is less expensive to just buy them. Not to mention you would then have more free time for a variety of good pursuits, such as teaching children to read.
"5) The depth & grace of the Eastern Orthodox sacraments, but not entirely how they are done. (Confession between laymen as well) "
The depth and grace of the sacraments is inherently tied into how they are done. At one point everyone confessed their sins in front of the entire Church. There is a reason that that is no longer the case.
"6) The churches of the Anabaptist. Completely simple & efficient. Nothing needed ornate - just plain & simple."
So you want "The...beauty in prayer" without any of the beauty of the Church? You do realize this is at least semi-gnostic right? It is saying that we need only honor God with your thoughts, that we shouldn't praise him through physical beauty as well because the physical is unimpotant and/or sinful? As well, God mad the world and all that was in it beautiful. How do we honor Him by praising him in the most simple and unelegant way possible? Is it not hubris to think that God should have made the beauty of a Cardinal and a Dove for humanity but that we shouldn't honor Him with as much beauty as we can create?
"7) No fighting between Bishops. (and then I woke up)"
This we agree on completely. Now, when it happens, you make sure to call the ambulance BEFORE you tell me, so that it can get me to the hospital after my heart attack and/or stroke.
"No power grabs or pointing fingers, but rather the practice of "shaking the dust from our sandals". "
Same as number 7.
"9) A non worldly church that does not commemorate the government and is not a 501c3 corporation. "
If the Church has any income whatsoever, then it must either pay taxes or incorporate as a 501c3 organization (in the US). As well, what is wrong with praying for the government and its leaders? Do you not want them to turn from their sins and be saved?
"10) Good fellowship always."
Read number 7