1. When censing, am I expected to swing the censer so as to cause the bells to chime or be more gentle? I have in mind the censing of the gifts during the Great Entrance and also when the priest returns the Holy Gifts to the table of preparation after communion.
2. Am I expected to kiss the priest's hand when handing him the zeon/hot water?
3. Am I expected to kiss the deacon's hand when handing him the censer?
4. Any tips for orthros/matins? It is still quite bewildering to me, by comparison with the Divine Liturgy.
Following the GOA Aus tradition for these (Russian tradition will mostly have the opposite answers):
1. Great Entrance: Not just swing, but 'shake' at the end, just like you see clergy do. Practise, it gets easier
and often different people develop different ways of holding it so that they have more control. Find someone who makes the censer sound like you want it to sound and get them to show you.
After the consecration, though (and going back to the prothesis), try and swing basically noiselessly. This is the same as censing during the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy, and for the same reason - to highlight that the gifts are consecrated.
2. When handing - Yes, but. It depends on how confident you feel about water spillage. Some will avoid it because, well, it's hot water and could easily spill. When receiving it back, though, always yes.
3. Probably - a deacon's hand is kissed any other time, after all (in GOA-Aus tradition). This is probably something you could ask the deacon (or priest or seminarian) about what they prefer.
4. Matins...there's not much to do, which means that you'll probably be told what needs to be done well in advance. The things you need to watch out for are the Gospel reading, when you need a candle; Psalm 50, when said candle is brought out to be next to the priest (while the gospel is being venerated); and the censing of the church at the Magnificat ('More honourable than the Cherubim'). And, at some point the priest may want to finish the prothesis, so be on hand near the end to get the censer (and, if there's no deacon, to cense at the appropriate times).
Hope this helps! Remember, not only is there important difference between Russian and Greek traditions, there is also some difference between parishes - for a lot of things, the right people to ask are right in front of you on Sunday morning.