Author Topic: A Jewish Phenomenon  (Read 1630 times)

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Offline Saint Iaint

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A Jewish Phenomenon
« on: May 18, 2011, 05:12:28 AM »
A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.
 
When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel .  By the way, I converted to Christianity.”
 
“Oy vey,” said the father.  “What have I done?”  He took his problem to his best friend, Ira.


 
“Ira,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel , and he came home a Christian.  What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ira.  “I too, sent my son to Israel , and he also came home a Christian.  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”



So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi.  “I, too, sent my son to Israel , and he also came home a Christian.  What is happening to our young people?”
 


And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “Funny you should ask,” said the Voice… “I, too, sent My Son to Israel . . ”


~~~ ~~~ ~~~

†IC XC†
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Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

Offline Ioannis Climacus

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2011, 05:54:48 AM »
Haha  :laugh:

I like this - quite clever.
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Offline Robert W

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2011, 06:03:55 AM »
 :laugh:


Well done. Five points to Gryffindor.

Offline quietmorning

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2011, 08:08:06 AM »
**smiles**

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Offline CRCulver

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2011, 09:33:57 AM »
Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

Offline IsmiLiora

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2011, 10:55:13 AM »
Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  ;)
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Offline bogdan

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:05 AM »
:D

Offline podkarpatska

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2011, 11:41:09 AM »
Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

true, but it was  a cute story...the kind that the old-time priest toastmasters used to use at Church banquets. I am sure that all of us over fifty remember such a priest from our youth, be we Greeks, Ukrainians or whatever....brings back memories...

Priest, minister and rabbi jokes were common as well...
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 11:42:59 AM by podkarpatska »

Offline PoorFoolNicholas

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2011, 12:47:22 PM »
Give him a break guys, he's just telling a joke! Nice one BTW.

Offline Saint Iaint

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2011, 05:59:31 PM »
Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

Why - you gonna report me to the ADL?

Why don't you check my post history and see if you really want to know?



Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  ;)

Good one...

So true!

What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...

The only other topic which has ever interested me so - is Orthodoxy.



To everyone without their feminine undergarments in a bunch that actually laughed (or even just smiled) and offered a kind word...

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed...

I thought it was perfect. Funny and true.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2011, 07:14:33 PM »

I smiled.   ;)
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Offline JamesRottnek

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2011, 09:19:50 PM »
Excellent *cue Burns hand thingy*
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Offline deusveritasest

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:40 PM »
Jesus became a Christian?  :laugh:
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Offline Shiny

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:41 PM »
ROFL!!!!! :D :D :D
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2011, 11:24:30 PM »
I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2011, 01:29:02 AM »
I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes than on an Orthodox Christian forum!

EDIT--Just to clarify, that wasn't a shot at the joke in the original post, which I thought was funny/clever.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 01:31:30 AM by Asteriktos »
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Offline Saint Iaint

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2011, 02:13:37 AM »
Jesus became a Christian?  :laugh:

The joke doesn't say that though.



I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes than on an Orthodox Christian forum!

EDIT--Just to clarify, that wasn't a shot at the joke in the original post, which I thought was funny/clever.

Was there supposed to be a pic there?

All I see is: 'Image Hosted by Angelfire'...

? ?

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2011, 02:17:11 AM »
^Huh, I don't know, I can still see the image. It is/was just a little emoticon that is scratching it's head.
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Offline Tallitot

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2011, 02:18:10 AM »
 ???
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 02:18:47 AM by Tallitot »
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Offline Saint Iaint

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2011, 04:16:52 AM »
I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes
than on an Orthodox Christian forum!


Well, as far as I'm concerned... the OP is not a 'Jewish' joke (and it's definitely not a "Jew joke").

It's a Christian joke.



???

Wassa matta you?

You no like?

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2011, 11:03:41 AM »


A Jewish Phenomenon... Jewish ...Israel ... Israel... oy vey... Israel... Israel... rabbi... rabbi... rabbi... Israel... Israel...

Yeah, where did I get the idea that it was a jewish Joke?  :P
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Offline Marc1152

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2011, 11:07:46 AM »
Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

Why - you gonna report me to the ADL?

Why don't you check my post history and see if you really want to know?



Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  ;)

Good one...

So true!

What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...

The only other topic which has ever interested me so - is Orthodoxy.



To everyone without their feminine undergarments in a bunch that actually laughed (or even just smiled) and offered a kind word...

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed...

I thought it was perfect. Funny and true.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†


What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...


Buzzzzt..Penalty buzzer... And to think, you almost got through this cleanly.
Your idea has been debunked 1000 times already.. Maybe 1001 will be the charm

Offline podkarpatska

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2011, 11:24:30 AM »
Is that a major or a minor in the box for 'conspiracy reference dropping', kind of like delay of game penalty in hockey? eh?... ;)

Offline Marc1152

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2011, 12:49:38 PM »
Is that a major or a minor in the box for 'conspiracy reference dropping', kind of like delay of game penalty in hockey? eh?... ;)

That's what I'm thinking... 
Your idea has been debunked 1000 times already.. Maybe 1001 will be the charm

Offline Saint Iaint

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2011, 05:40:00 PM »


A Jewish Phenomenon... Jewish ...Israel ... Israel... oy vey... Israel... Israel... rabbi... rabbi... rabbi... Israel... Israel...

Yeah, where did I get the idea that it was a jewish Joke?  :P

Good point!

I dunno... I just copied it the way I received it. But I didn't consider it a 'Jewish joke'.

It's not like I wrote it myself. If I had've, it probably would've went a little more like this:

~~~ ~~~ ~~~


A Wondrous Phenemenon

A Pharisaic businessman in Chicago sent his son to occupied Palestine for a year to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Palestine.  By the way after I was robbed in Tel Aviv, I ended up staying with a Palestinian family... and I converted to Orthodox Christianity!”
 
“Oy vey,” said the father.  “What have I done?”  He took his problem to his best friend, Ira.


 
“Ira,” he said, “I sent my son to Palestine to move into one of the hunderds of illegal settlements on Arab land, and he came home an Orthodox Christian!! A Minim!!  What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ira.  “I too, sent my son to a settlement , and he also came home an Orthodox Christian.  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”



So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi.  “I, too, sent my son to live in a settlement , and he also came home an Orthodox Christian. Russian Orthodox no less!! What is happening to our young people?”
 


And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “I thought I told you guys,” said the Voice… “You'll have to talk to My Son.


~~~ ~~~ ~~~





What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...


Buzzzzt..Penalty buzzer... And to think, you almost got through this cleanly.

Oops.

Did I just do that?

Well it did.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.

Offline deusveritasest

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Re: A Jewish Phenomenon
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2011, 05:53:12 PM »
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “I thought I told you guys,” said the Voice… “You'll have to talk to My Son.

LOL!
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